Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

LegacyUser · 09-03-2012 7:55pm

Hi all

Going anon for this as have a lot of mates on boards I don't want knowing about this.

I don't really know where to start. As s far as I was concerned I've always being a perfectly happy and healthy person. I'm 28, have a great girlfriend who I love dearly and great set of really close friends. Depression or anxiety never once entered my head. If I'm honest I was ignorant to it and its effect. Until last Sunday. Was in my living room with my gf and she was chatting away to me, just random talk, nothing important. Next thing I get this strange feeling. Unlike anything I've ever felt before. I turn to her and say "I don't feel well" and she looks at me and then looks worried and asks me am I gonna faint as I've just turned pale as a ghost instantly. I have no idea whats happening me. My heart starts to pound a million times a minute. My arms and legs get a numbing sensation in them. I feel like there's something wrong with my breathing, I cant get a full breath of air into my lungs. I also have a sensation that I'm about to swallow my tongue. I get up and start pacing up and down outside my house frantically. I fell I have to move. This might sound stupid but I am convinced I am having a heart attack or a stroke or something terrible. I am about to ask my gf to ring for an ambulance or a doctor but I don't.

I try to drink some water but I actually can't swallow it. My heart slowly starts to beat at a more regular pace so I sit down. One minute I'm shivering the next I'm sweating. My gf says to me that she reckons I've had a panic attack when I start explaining what was wrong with me. For the rest of the night and into the next day I cant stop fidgeting, I have to keep moving my hands or legs. I don't sleep for about 48 hours. Ever since then I literally haven't thought about anything other than what happened me. It was without a doubt the worst feeling I've ever had in my life by a mile.

I used to think that a panic attack was something that a person could simply
"snap out" of if you told them to cop on there's nothing wrong with you. How wrong I was. I've been so anxious and worried about what happened me last Sunday. It hasn't left my mind. I've barely slept. My gf says it probably happened because I've been burning the candle at both ends a bit too much lately. And its true I have been, but I am living in constant fear of having another attack. Which I know is probably the worst thing I can do. Has anyone any advice on how to proceed from here? Thanks for reading.

nesf · 10-03-2012 12:34am

anononon wrote: »

Hi all

Going anon for this as have a lot of mates on boards I don't want knowing about this.

I don't really know where to start. As s far as I was concerned I've always being a perfectly happy and healthy person. I'm 28, have a great girlfriend who I love dearly and great set of really close friends. Depression or anxiety never once entered my head. If I'm honest I was ignorant to it and its effect. Until last Sunday. Was in my living room with my gf and she was chatting away to me, just random talk, nothing important. Next thing I get this strange feeling. Unlike anything I've ever felt before. I turn to her and say "I don't feel well" and she looks at me and then looks worried and asks me am I gonna faint as I've just turned pale as a ghost instantly. I have no idea whats happening me. My heart starts to pound a million times a minute. My arms and legs get a numbing sensation in them. I feel like there's something wrong with my breathing, I cant get a full breath of air into my lungs. I also have a sensation that I'm about to swallow my tongue. I get up and start pacing up and down outside my house frantically. I fell I have to move. This might sound stupid but I am convinced I am having a heart attack or a stroke or something terrible. I am about to ask my gf to ring for an ambulance or a doctor but I don't.

I try to drink some water but I actually can't swallow it. My heart slowly starts to beat at a more regular pace so I sit down. One minute I'm shivering the next I'm sweating. My gf says to me that she reckons I've had a panic attack when I start explaining what was wrong with me. For the rest of the night and into the next day I cant stop fidgeting, I have to keep moving my hands or legs. I don't sleep for about 48 hours. Ever since then I literally haven't thought about anything other than what happened me. It was without a doubt the worst feeling I've ever had in my life by a mile.

I used to think that a panic attack was something that a person could simply
"snap out" of if you told them to cop on there's nothing wrong with you. How wrong I was. I've been so anxious and worried about what happened me last Sunday. It hasn't left my mind. I've barely slept. My gf says it probably happened because I've been burning the candle at both ends a bit too much lately. And its true I have been, but I am living in constant fear of having another attack. Which I know is probably the worst thing I can do. Has anyone any advice on how to proceed from here? Thanks for reading.

Talk to your GP about it and well done on posting in this thread about it.

degausserxo · 10-03-2012 2:41pm

Having a good day today. Met with the psych nurse for a coffee and everything's been fine since. Hope you're all okay.

Kaching · 10-03-2012 3:25pm

The weather is doing me good

Call Me Jimmy · 10-03-2012 6:02pm

anononon wrote: »

Hi all

Going anon for this as have a lot of mates on boards I don't want knowing about this.

I don't really know where to start. As s far as I was concerned I've always being a perfectly happy and healthy person. I'm 28, have a great girlfriend who I love dearly and great set of really close friends. Depression or anxiety never once entered my head. If I'm honest I was ignorant to it and its effect. Until last Sunday. Was in my living room with my gf and she was chatting away to me, just random talk, nothing important. Next thing I get this strange feeling. Unlike anything I've ever felt before. I turn to her and say "I don't feel well" and she looks at me and then looks worried and asks me am I gonna faint as I've just turned pale as a ghost instantly. I have no idea whats happening me. My heart starts to pound a million times a minute. My arms and legs get a numbing sensation in them. I feel like there's something wrong with my breathing, I cant get a full breath of air into my lungs. I also have a sensation that I'm about to swallow my tongue. I get up and start pacing up and down outside my house frantically. I fell I have to move. This might sound stupid but I am convinced I am having a heart attack or a stroke or something terrible. I am about to ask my gf to ring for an ambulance or a doctor but I don't.

I try to drink some water but I actually can't swallow it. My heart slowly starts to beat at a more regular pace so I sit down. One minute I'm shivering the next I'm sweating. My gf says to me that she reckons I've had a panic attack when I start explaining what was wrong with me. For the rest of the night and into the next day I cant stop fidgeting, I have to keep moving my hands or legs. I don't sleep for about 48 hours. Ever since then I literally haven't thought about anything other than what happened me. It was without a doubt the worst feeling I've ever had in my life by a mile.

I used to think that a panic attack was something that a person could simply
"snap out" of if you told them to cop on there's nothing wrong with you. How wrong I was. I've been so anxious and worried about what happened me last Sunday. It hasn't left my mind. I've barely slept. My gf says it probably happened because I've been burning the candle at both ends a bit too much lately. And its true I have been, but I am living in constant fear of having another attack. Which I know is probably the worst thing I can do. Has anyone any advice on how to proceed from here? Thanks for reading.

What happened to you is very common. Some people have anxiety based on a simgle event like that but besides going to the GP to be sure, i'd say it's just your body working healthily and you happened to be tuned into it more than usual, which can be disconcerting.

cloud493 · 11-03-2012 5:53pm

Hope everyones doing ok over the weekend

crunchyogurt · 11-03-2012 6:02pm

The last week was a bit of a nightmare. The worst I have felt in a while, thought I was going to have a seroius breakdown. Yesterday I just kept saying to myself, I dont want to be here anymore, I want to just escape it all. Today I just feel numb and emotionally exausted. Its not a great feeling, but compared to how I felt for the last week, its a nice break.

Call Me Jimmy · 11-03-2012 6:04pm

You too man, the weekends can be tough when ye can't go out, ye just know there's a people connecting all over the place but gotta keep sane.

noah45 · 11-03-2012 8:04pm

Had a horrible week feel exhausted, cranky and totally dis-interested in everything. Just want to go to bed and stay there but with work, kids and house I simply cannot do this, instead I have to drag myself through each day with major difficulty.

Temaz · 11-03-2012 11:43pm

Slept all day, long night ahead:mad:

Temaz · 12-03-2012 11:44am

Managed a few hours, woke up with a thumping headache.

Aoifums · 12-03-2012 11:45am

Feeling utterly awful today. I can barely look at people, can't get the energy to talk to them, can't understand a word in lectures and can barely manage to type this out. Also second psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Fun

Call Me Jimmy · 12-03-2012 2:53pm

Wake up every morning and feel like I'm starting all over again.

Temaz · 12-03-2012 4:11pm

Took a long shower to soothe myself and it worked, feeling much better.

Seren_ · 12-03-2012 7:20pm

Aoifums wrote: »

Feeling utterly awful today. I can barely look at people, can't get the energy to talk to them, can't understand a word in lectures and can barely manage to type this out. Also second psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Fun

Good luck for tomorrow!

Temaz wrote: »

Took a long shower to soothe myself and it worked, feeling much better.

There's actually nothing better than a nice shower when you're feeling like sh1t. I find it helps clear my mind, even just for a few minutes.

Spent the entire weekend and today in bed, when I should have been doing work

I wish I wasn't so fond of self-sabotage. If I keep going like this, even for another day or two, I can kiss passing this year goodbye.

Call Me Jimmy · 12-03-2012 7:28pm

There's nothing harder then education when you're just not even in love with doing anything. I had to struggle through first semester and thankfully now I'm going out on work placement which is shcary but at least it's not learning off/stuff doing abstract things.

+1 on the shower, had one today out of boredom (self-inflicted boredom) and it just took me from a 1 to a 3 which doesn't sound great but when your struggling ye'll take that!

anonimous · 12-03-2012 8:12pm

really, really struggling with school work/motivation. and i'm such awful company i don't want to be around anyone at all.

cloud493 · 12-03-2012 8:16pm

I smashed my mirror today

silly thing to do really.

anonimous · 12-03-2012 8:33pm

cloud493 wrote: »

I smashed my mirror today silly thing to do really.

on purpose or by accident?

cloud493 · 12-03-2012 8:35pm

On purpose.

anonimous · 12-03-2012 8:40pm

cloud493 wrote: »

On purpose.

i did that before, except it was a glass. it felt good in a very messed up way. like i was destroying something, almost.

cloud493 · 12-03-2012 8:42pm

I coudn't bear to look at myself. So.

anonimous · 12-03-2012 8:48pm

cloud493 wrote: »

I coudn't bear to look at myself. So.

i know the feeling well.

Call Me Jimmy · 12-03-2012 9:33pm

Done the same meself before... avoiding em doesn't work, looking at em doesn't work. bastard things (including reflective surfaces).

cloud493 · 12-03-2012 10:03pm

I only had the one, so its ok. Feels better now its gone. Probably shouldn't have done it with my fist though.

Gremlinertia · 13-03-2012 9:56am

cloud493 wrote: »

I only had the one, so its ok. Feels better now its gone. Probably shouldn't have done it with my fist though.

Sod the mirror, hope you didn't do too much damage to your hand.

cloud493 · 13-03-2012 10:50am

Its ok. Hope your ok too.

degausserxo · 13-03-2012 12:08pm

Just went through papers for the Disabillity Access Route to college with the school resource teacher. Feel so bad because of how much this year has cost my parents, and I've only been able to go in 33% of the time.

Temaz · 13-03-2012 1:16pm

Having a good day today, went out for a bit and treated myself to some cd's.

Hope ya'll are getting through the day!

LegacyUser · 13-03-2012 4:56pm

anononon wrote: »

Hi all

Going anon for this as have a lot of mates on boards I don't want knowing about this.

I don't really know where to start. As s far as I was concerned I've always being a perfectly happy and healthy person. I'm 28, have a great girlfriend who I love dearly and great set of really close friends. Depression or anxiety never once entered my head. If I'm honest I was ignorant to it and its effect. Until last Sunday. Was in my living room with my gf and she was chatting away to me, just random talk, nothing important. Next thing I get this strange feeling. Unlike anything I've ever felt before. I turn to her and say "I don't feel well" and she looks at me and then looks worried and asks me am I gonna faint as I've just turned pale as a ghost instantly. I have no idea whats happening me. My heart starts to pound a million times a minute. My arms and legs get a numbing sensation in them. I feel like there's something wrong with my breathing, I cant get a full breath of air into my lungs. I also have a sensation that I'm about to swallow my tongue. I get up and start pacing up and down outside my house frantically. I fell I have to move. This might sound stupid but I am convinced I am having a heart attack or a stroke or something terrible. I am about to ask my gf to ring for an ambulance or a doctor but I don't.

I try to drink some water but I actually can't swallow it. My heart slowly starts to beat at a more regular pace so I sit down. One minute I'm shivering the next I'm sweating. My gf says to me that she reckons I've had a panic attack when I start explaining what was wrong with me. For the rest of the night and into the next day I cant stop fidgeting, I have to keep moving my hands or legs. I don't sleep for about 48 hours. Ever since then I literally haven't thought about anything other than what happened me. It was without a doubt the worst feeling I've ever had in my life by a mile.

I used to think that a panic attack was something that a person could simply
"snap out" of if you told them to cop on there's nothing wrong with you. How wrong I was. I've been so anxious and worried about what happened me last Sunday. It hasn't left my mind. I've barely slept. My gf says it probably happened because I've been burning the candle at both ends a bit too much lately. And its true I have been, but I am living in constant fear of having another attack. Which I know is probably the worst thing I can do. Has anyone any advice on how to proceed from here? Thanks for reading.

Sounds very much like a panic attack alright. I know what you mean about being in constant fear of another attack. If you do start feeling more anxious or have another attack, I would visit a GP and look to getting it sorted asap. You honestly cant believe how much I wish I dealt with this when it first happenned. By now, its almost unbearable and havent found any way of fixing it. Have a feeling if i had nipped it on the bud early I would be over it by now.

Seren_ · 13-03-2012 5:06pm

That's great Temaz!

I'm doing okay today as well. Had a rehearsal session for the parade earlier which was fun (I'm helping out on a float on Saturday). And I'm actually doing some work too for a change. I just need to sort out getting up at a reasonable time, because that's one thing that has been holding me back recently.

How's everyone today?

Call Me Jimmy · 13-03-2012 5:47pm

Great to hear you guys are having some good patches.

Myself, I feel weird. Feel like I'm occupying a space between capitulation and freedom which is disconcerting as it's kinda like a hot-cold feeling, where you don't know if you're so hot that you're cold or so cold that you're hot...

nesf · 13-03-2012 6:50pm

Doing a bit better I think. Psychiatrist on Thursday, we'll see how that goes.

degausserxo · 13-03-2012 8:28pm

Day has gotten progressively worse. Doctor wouldn't print my prescription even though the one they gave me last week was just to get money refunded from the pharmacy and not for me to take. I'm just so fed up.

jammstarr · 13-03-2012 8:32pm

I can't seem to be handle even the smallest amount of stress with blowing it all out of proportion.

stupidusername · 13-03-2012 9:51pm

my fourth appointment with my therapist (supposed to be CBT) and I really don't think i'm getting anything from it. What's CBT meant to be like? i'm just talking away about whatever, and she's asking typical therapist things like what do you fear is going to happen bla bla bla. i'm not getting anywhere!

Sardonicat · 13-03-2012 11:18pm

Feel awful. Lethargic and empty and just...blank.

My GP told me last week I could increase me own dose if I wish if I'm feeling down. Maybe I should do that.

S.Username, sorry your long awaited therapy doesn't seem to be working out. Have you thought about raising your concerns with the therapist?

stupidusername · 13-03-2012 11:28pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Feel awful. Lethargic and empty and just...blank.

My GP told me last week I could increase me own dose if I wish if I'm feeling down. Maybe I should do that.

S.Username, sorry your long awaited therapy doesn't seem to be working out. Have you thought about raising your concerns with the therapist?

I have thought about it, but one of my issues is confrontation, or raising problems with people. ironic or what. i might say something next week. just say talking things through isn't doing much, i need a more pro active approach.

Sardonicat · 13-03-2012 11:44pm

stupidusername wrote: »

I have thought about it, but one of my issues is confrontation, or raising problems with people. ironic or what. i might say something next week. just say talking things through isn't doing much, i need a more pro active approach.

That sounds like a really good way of phrasing it, actually. You should go that route, no confrontation there.

I've decided to pop another prozac. Hopefully it won't keep me awake all night. My depression is unusual in that my moods get worse as the day wears on, whereas for most people it's the other way around.

stupidusername · 13-03-2012 11:49pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

That sounds like a really good way of phrasing it, actually. You should go that route, no confrontation there.

I've decided to pop another prozac. Hopefully it won't keep me awake all night. My depression is unusual in that my moods get worse as the day wears on, whereas for most people it's the other way around.

thing is i've said all this already. i don't have the money to keep paying for her to listen to me go on. i mean that's what i do in my head, and with my friends. i need help resolving stuff.

i hope you can sleep. i'm the same as you tbh. my mood is nearly always ok in the morning, but at night it's more likely to be worse.

Call Me Jimmy · 13-03-2012 11:52pm

CBT should be quite pro active. Did you get stuff to work on between sessions, challenges? Don't make the mistake of being passive (not saying that you are but I remember when I did it, being honest with myself in hindsight, I was) or nothing new will happen.

I'm all over the place at the moment, not knowing if my biggest fear is coming true or if it is my head or a mixture, and feeling loneliness for the first time in a long time.

stupidusername · 13-03-2012 11:57pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

CBT should be quite pro active. Did you get stuff to work on between sessions, challenges? Don't make the mistake of being passive (not saying that you are but I remember when I did it, being honest with myself in hindsight, I was) or nothing new will happen.
.

yeah that's what i thought it should be. the only thing i've gotten so far is a STOPP sheet, to write down my thoughts during periods of high anxiety.

Call Me Jimmy · 14-03-2012 12:09am

stupidusername wrote: »

yeah that's what i thought it should be. the only thing i've gotten so far is a STOPP sheet, to write down my thoughts during periods of high anxiety.

There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that if that's after the first session.
Don't think of it as just a sheet to fill out and that's all you have to do, think of it as opportunity for the week or so to the next session to deeply explore yourself. It's a lot of work!

EDIT: Just saw you said fourth and not first. So did she recommend anything in previous weeks?

stupidusername · 14-03-2012 12:16am

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that if that's after the first session.
Don't think of it as just a sheet to fill out and that's all you have to do, think of it as opportunity for the week or so to the next session to deeply explore yourself. It's a lot of work!

no I know, and I do. I got that after the 2nd session. i've filled it out after one incident. and i learned that as much as i like to think these thoughts are only popping up every now and then, they're not, they're things i really believe.

i haven't had any more big things come up that i could write down. but i will try write down my thoughts from the day, because i know i think them all day long.

Call Me Jimmy · 14-03-2012 12:26am

stupidusername wrote: »

they're things i really believe.

Ah, that was my problem (you'll notice hasn't been sorted), when you believe something it's hard to engage with anything or anyone that tells you it's not the case. I tried desperately, wanted so sincerely to 'change my thoughts' but it got to a bottom line of something that I believed was true and I couldn't deal with it.

EDIT: The only remedy for which is a new perspective I think, not necessarily a change in the belief.

stupidusername · 14-03-2012 12:33am

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Ah, that was my problem (you'll notice hasn't been sorted), when you believe something it's hard to engage with anything or anyone that tells you it's not the case. I tried desperately, wanted so sincerely to 'change my thoughts' but it got to a bottom line of something that I believed was true and I couldn't deal with it.

EDIT: The only remedy for which is a new perspective I think, not necessarily a change in the belief.

yeah I get ya. I don't know how another perspective will ever work its way into my mind as deeply as the one I have though

Call Me Jimmy · 14-03-2012 12:40am

stupidusername wrote: »

yeah I get ya. I don't know how another perspective will ever work its way into my mind as deeply as the one I have though

I meant a different perspective, as in imagine like how would monks up in a mountain in tibet think about me worrying about my appearance. They'd **** themselves laughing if they weren't already so enlightened!

stupidusername · 14-03-2012 12:42am

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I meant a different perspective, as in imagine like how would monks up in a mountain in tibet think about me worrying about my appearance. They'd **** themselves laughing if they weren't already so enlightened!

nah that kinda stuff doesn't do anything for me. it's like belittling problems. it doesn't make them any less real

cloud493 · 14-03-2012 12:54am

Not really a good night, to be honest.

Call Me Jimmy · 14-03-2012 1:09am

cloud493 wrote: »

Not really a good night, to be honest.

Anything in particular?

stupidusername wrote: »

nah that kinda stuff doesn't do anything for me. it's like belittling problems. it doesn't make them any less real

I didn't mean it in the sense "imagine this and this will make you feel better" I meant monks would laugh knowingly that it is my life, the things I do, what I falsely expect, my lack of internal insight, the fact that I'm constantly looking outside myself for an answer to a problem that is contained within my body kind of thing.

A different perspective is hard to just 'think' of, you only really get it through a different experience of life. So if you or I want a different perspective, we have to change what we do. And with my belief, because it's true, my only option is to do things differently in my life, whether I like that or not.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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