My first go - title "The Madman?"

A Quiet Pint

Click click! Went a noise. Click click again! It was the same noise! Well not exactly the same noise it wasn't a time travelling click but it was sonically similar enough to the other one that it was probably coming from the same source. Trent manoeuvred his eyelids to the closed position. This was bad. Click click! It was the sound of the noise again and now trent had decided it was one of three things probably. 1. Someone was loading a loaded shotgun at his head. 2. Someone had just broken his neck four times. 3. A grasshopper, genus African Big, was on the bar somewhere and performing a sub par mating ritual. He turned his head and scanned the bar for randy inverterberates. No grasshopper. Also his top shirt button had pinged off under the muscle strain of his head movement. No broken neck. That left only one thing... Trent turned round as slowly as he could (extremely quickly) and he was suddenly staring not down the barrel of a gun but up the barrel of a gun because the man holding it was a terrible shot and also he was dead!! Click! Click! Click! Click! The noise was making a sound again! Trebt looked past the not a grasshopper using his not broken neck and through the barrel of a shotgun that wasn't down but up and saw a pen. UNLICENSED TRACHEOTOMY! Trent had put the pen through the throat of the bad guy without even realising it and was doing a crossword on the other side of his head and clicking the pen! OTOLARYNGOLOGIST! Shouted trent as he suddenly filled in 9 down which related to ear nose and throat doctors.