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What's the worst thing you've done in a taxi?

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245

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    #32
    RHunce
    Registered Users Posts: 1,405 ✭✭✭RHunce


    i was in NYC roared at the top of my irish voice for a taxi, got several looks and at last a taxi, when i went to the drivers window i said thanks i've always wanted to do that

    the curses that came out of his mouth, while in pakistani, one must realise a bullet is a bullet in any language


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    #33
    Overflow
    Registered Users Posts: 1,266 ✭✭✭Overflow


    Got a taxi with my mate from the taxi rank at bray dart station, he started driving and i promptly told him to stop 20 meters away at the henry and rose chipper, he was nay impressed, we got out, went into the chipper and i ordered a rasher, the lady in the chipper asked, a rasher with what, i said just a rasher love, she was nay impressed either, but i got my rasher in a bag to the befuddlement (yes its a real word) of the lady behind the counter.


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    #34
    Loopy
    Registered Users Posts: 12,220 ✭✭✭✭Loopy


    I puked in my handbag, was not pleasant the next day when I forgot about it and starting brushing my hair with my hairbrush that was covered in vomit


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    #35
    Quint
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,407 ✭✭✭Quint


    My mate was drunk and decided to give a taxi driver a blowjob outside her house. After she paid the full fare. She was on her own, no idea why she decided to tell us all the next day


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    #36
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Loopy wrote: »
    I puked in my handbag, was not pleasant the next day when I forgot about it and starting brushing my hair with my hairbrush that was covered in vomit

    That explains a lot..


    /opens window


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    #37
    Armin_Tamzarian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    Not the worst thing I've done in a taxi but definitely the weirdest experience in a taxi.

    Was with a few mates one Christmas, there was snow all over the ground.
    We'd been trying for ages to flag down a taxi when eventually some bloke in an Almera pulled up and said, "lookin for a taxi bud?".
    Great we thought, a hackney will do rightly and we'll save a few quid too.

    Now I remember thinking that the bloke looked barely old enough to drive but in my drunken, frozen state I wasn't overly concerned.

    About halfway through the trip he missed our left turn off the dual-carriageway.
    I had just began to point this out to him as we approached the next set of lights.
    "No worries bud", says yer man as he lifts the handbrake at the lights and performed a rather impressive 180-degree drift manouvere in the snow.
    Successfully getting us going back down the dual-carriageway to our turn off.
    It was around then that I noticed that the ignition wires were all hanging down beneath the steering wheel.
    I was quite shocked, this guy obviously wasn't afraid of losing his taxi licence.
    You can't be driving a taxi round in a state like that, not to mention the fact that the small window at the back was broken.

    In fairness though he got us to our destination and it only cost us a tenner.
    It was no wonder he undercharged us though, the clown didn't even have a meter in the car.


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    #38
    ChocolateSauce
    Registered Users Posts: 2,892 ✭✭✭ChocolateSauce


    I'm fairly tame compared to some of those stories. The oddest must have been this time I was really, really, really high on LSD, got a taxi, and engaged the man in conversation. I don't have a clue what I said, or even why I was in the taxi.


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    #39
    sub-x
    Closed Accounts Posts: 199 ✭✭sub-x


    kbannon wrote: »
    ...and giving your girlfriend oral sex in the back of a taxi is classy?

    So what - loads of people have!


    I wasn't boasting, was just making it official;)


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    #40
    Overflow
    Registered Users Posts: 1,266 ✭✭✭Overflow


    ChocolateSauce wrote: »
    I'm fairly tame compared to some of those stories. The oddest must have been this time I was really, really, really high on LSD, got a taxi, and engaged the man in conversation. I don't have a clue what I said, or even why I was in the taxi.

    I don't think taking LSD is tame by any standards :), i cant imagine doing it in a taxi, it would probably feel like something out of fear and loathing in las vegas i'm guessing!


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    #41
    ajax147
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭ajax147


    asked what the fare was


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    #42
    ajax147
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭ajax147


    he asked the worst thing not the best woman smasher


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    #43
    F1ngers
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 10,291 Mod ✭✭✭✭F1ngers


    Quint wrote: »
    My mate was drunk and decided to give a taxi driver a blowjob outside her house. After she paid the full fare. She was on her own, no idea why she decided to tell us all the next day

    Your mate...;)


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    #44
    charmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭charmer


    Not exactly in the taxi but...

    Woke up after a hard night's drinking with a note in the door from the taxi man, apparently I owed him 40 quid even though the fare from the club would have been a tenner.

    So I rang him to come collect it. It was when I opened the door the flashbacks arrived...yup, I kissed a taxi man.

    Minutes later I realised I had also puked in my wallet.


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    #45
    BlueButterBean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭BlueButterBean


    Was coming home from a night out with me friend once and we where both very "drunk"..finally get into our estate and next minute me friends whips out a bottle of ms.massage body oil stuff and starts massaging the taxi driver!!!..and yes one thing led to another right infront of me!!


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    #46
    FunkSoulSista
    Registered Users Posts: 409 ✭✭FunkSoulSista


    I flagged one down in America on a dare and asked the taxi man "Do you know the way to San Jose" in full song....lets just say he didn't....


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    #47
    mardybumbum
    Registered Users Posts: 1,939 ✭✭✭mardybumbum


    I was getting a taxi home from templebar one night.
    Taxi driver seemed normal enough at the start. Just made some terrible jokes and thought he was being funny. Then he started making some really scary laughing sound and kept repeating the phrase " heeeeeres johhny ".
    Then when he got to harcourt he pulled out a ****in harmonica and started jamming along to whatever ****e was on the radio with one hand on the steering wheel.
    Then just as I passed Rody Bolands he asked me did I want to see his chest hair. I didnt want to offend the man as I was afraid of him, so I said ok.
    He unbuttoned his shirt and showed me his chest hair which he had shaved the shape of the cross into.
    The girlfriend was mortified with him.

    Ill never forget that guy. Absolutely crazy.


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    #48
    Supermanscat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭Supermanscat


    Got a taxi in Galway, the driver was African, very very dark skin colour.

    He asked me was i going out to GMIT because if i was he wouldn't bring me.

    Completely forgetting his skin colour and with a few pints on me i replied 'Im no fcukin monkey'

    Cue awkwardness!


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    #49
    rainbow kirby
    Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 26,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Opened the door to puke while stopped at traffic lights. I really shouldn't ever be let near rum...


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    #50
    dylano_k
    Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Hopped into a taxi at the rank on the quays after waitin 15mins and said to my mate..you payin for this..he said ha no, so we asked the 2 girls..are you's payin for this...they also said no. So he brought us around to pearse st station and told us to get out haha dont think he had a sense of humor !!!

    Also a mate of mine after a party got a taxi with a foreign driver and told him "i hope this cars NCT'd those tires dont feel right, the driver txt him the next morning sayin he got the car checked and its fine good. He must have scared the guy to make him do that haha He cant remember any of this his gf had to tell him...least thats one more taxi on the road thats safe !!!:D


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    #51
    Slunk
    Registered Users Posts: 2,556 ✭✭✭Slunk


    Walking home one night me and the gf met a few random people and were having a chat walking along the street. Next thing I know she was afetr pulling a taxi. We get in and she says, have ye got a light, ive no lighter and i presume you have some sort or thing to light my smoke in your car. He gave us a light and we got out and continued talking to the randoms we just met. Taxi man driving slowly beside us asking if we are serious. We said yeah and he laughed and drove off. :D


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    #52
    homerun_homer
    Registered Users Posts: 7,024 ✭✭✭homerun_homer


    pappyodaniel wrote: »
    What's the worst thing you've done in a taxi?

    I've heard the usual pissing,****ting,puking,fare dodging stories. Any stories of sexy shenanigans or crazy behavior by the customer or the driver for that matter?

    Hope you washed those piss stains out of the back of your car- haha.

    Me and friends got in a taxi that was not at the front of the queue at the Taxi rank on Dame st. Had to listen to a load of foreign lads arguing with each other over who owned the fare and slamming fists on the bonnet in protest. We were sat in the back thinking we'd be better off walking.


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    #53
    Cianos
    Registered Users Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Cianos


    Starting to understand why taxi drivers aren't the most patient of people.


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    #54
    The_Minister
    Registered Users Posts: 10,255 ✭✭✭✭The_Minister


    Quint wrote: »
    My mate was drunk and decided to give a taxi driver a blowjob outside her house. After she paid the full fare. She was on her own, no idea why she decided to tell us all the next day
    Best. Tip. Ever.


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    #55
    Smart Bug
    Registered Users Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭Smart Bug


    A fattie.


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    #56
    jackson2009
    Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭jackson2009


    dancor wrote: »
    Licked me burd out

    lmao


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    #57
    iHeartRyanAdams
    Registered Users Posts: 51 ✭✭iHeartRyanAdams


    Quint wrote: »
    My mate was drunk and decided to give a taxi driver a blowjob outside her house. After she paid the full fare. She was on her own, no idea why she decided to tell us all the next day

    why would she give him a blowjob?
    as a tip for the pleasant drive home?


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    #58
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    iHeartRyanAdams wrote: »
    why would she give him a blowjob?
    as a tip for the pleasant drive home?
    Dunno but im havin second thoughts about my current career choice now


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    #59
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    iHeartRyanAdams wrote: »
    why would she give him a blowjob?
    as a tip for the pleasant drive home?

    I think she was trying to evade the fare. Ew.

    Can't believe she went around her friends telling them what she did, like it was something to proud of. Obviously hasn't heard of STD's either. And outside her house?! I'm guessing she lives with her parents, imagine looking out your bedroom window to check and see if that is your daughter arriving home, only to catch her gob-jobbing the taxi man?!! Even if she doesn't live at home, she must be a real hit with the neighbours :rolleyes:


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    #60
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Abigayle wrote: »
    I think she was trying to evade the fare. Ew.


    It's worse. Look at the post again. This was after she had paid the fare!!


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    #61
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Insurgent wrote: »
    It's worse. Look at the post again. This was after she had paid the fare!!

    Either way you look at it, it's still a bit... loose of her :(


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