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Irish porn

  • 02-12-2015 1:32pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭


    I stumbled upon some traveller porn recently. A classy production? I wouldn't go that far, but what it lacked in decorum and refinement, it more than made up for in accidental comedy.

    I'll set the scene: there's four travellers in a hotel room of some description - three blokes and one girl, but only one of them is riding your one. The video starts with quite a rotund young man, fully clothed thank f*ck, holding this iPhone toward the mirror and saying something like "it's a f*cking hard life, boys" in that unmistakable traveller brogue.

    He turns the camera toward the bed and it's clear that the girl is performing an oral sex act on the bloke, who is also recording this as it happens. Our cameraman is relieved of his duties, because that coke won't snort itself, and another fully-clothed man hops into the director's chair. We see our former director sitting down at a table, pressing in one nostril before dunking his head out of frame. We can't speculate what he was doing.

    We then see the girl, who actually is quite fine, climb out of her g-string and jovially slingshot her underwear at the camerman, who proceeds to smell the thong as you do. She gets into the missionary position, waiting for her male friend - or half brother - to enter her. There's a few minor hiccups here, including several gasps of "wrong hole" from your one, with the bloke then saying "I can't get into it. She won't let me into it." We're off eventually. He does the business for about 13 seconds before stopping abruptly.

    The star then gets a bit of stick from the stagehands for being about to pop. She reassures him: "I was with Paddy Ward and Booker Casey for five hours, and that 20 seconds was better than the whole thing." We can only assume Casey is a mate of theirs or something, because the cameraman then films himself saying: "Booker, you've been shown up here."

    One of the clothed gentlemen then asks "who's the best fig you ever had?" What 'fig' means in travellerland who the f*ck knows, but it's obvious what he means. She says "him" in reference to our male star and then jokingly says "well I haven't had you two yet." The first man is back in control of the camera again. And he's back at the mirror, this time holding a bottle of Bud or something, before saying "it's a f*cking hard life, boys" once again. We came full circle.

    The gauntlet was well and truly thrown down for Paddy Ward and Booker Casey, so we can only hope this isn't the last we've seen in this story :P


«13

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    So where's the link?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    I can't imagine I'd be allowed to post links mate.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    I can't imagine I'd be allowed to post links mate.

    Worth the ban surely


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,291 ✭✭✭✭Gatling


    Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh






    We're all greatful you watched it in full and saved us


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    I've had an idea for one of those boards "now you're talking to" yokes


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    I stumbled upon some traveller porn recently. A classy production? I wouldn't go that far, but what it lacked in decorum and refinement, it more than made up for in accidental comedy.

    I'll set the scene: there's four travellers in a hotel room of some description - three blokes and one girl, but only one of them is riding your one. The video starts with quite a rotund young man, fully clothed thank f*ck, holding this iPhone toward the mirror and saying something like "it's a f*cking hard life, boys" in that unmistakable traveller brogue.

    He turns the camera toward the bed and it's clear that the girl is performing an oral sex act on the bloke, who is also recording this as it happens. Our cameraman is relieved of his duties, because that coke won't snort itself, and another fully-clothed man hops into the director's chair. We see our former director sitting down at a table, pressing in one nostril before dunking his head out of frame. We can't speculate what he was doing.

    We then see the girl, who actually is quite fine, climb out of her g-string and jovially slingshot her underwear at the camerman, who proceeds to smell the thong as you do. She gets into the missionary position, waiting for her male friend - or half brother - to enter her. There's a few minor hiccups here, including several gasps of "wrong hole" from your one, with the bloke then saying "I can't get into it. She won't let me into it." We're off eventually. He does the business for about 13 seconds before stopping abruptly.

    The star then gets a bit of stick from the stagehands for being about to pop. She reassures him: "I was with Paddy Ward and Booker Casey for five hours, and that 20 seconds was better than the whole thing." We can only assume Casey is a mate of theirs or something, because the cameraman then films himself saying: "Booker, you've been shown up here."

    One of the clothed gentlemen then asks "who's the best fig you ever had?" What 'fig' means in travellerland who the f*ck knows, but it's obvious what he means. She says "him" in reference to our male star and then jokingly says "well I haven't had you two yet." The first man is back in control of the camera again. And he's back at the mirror, this time holding a bottle of Bud or something, before saying "it's a f*cking hard life, boys" once again. We came full circle.

    The gauntlet was well and truly thrown down for Paddy Ward and Booker Casey, so we can only hope this isn't the last we've seen in this story :P

    This is too funny to be true. I ask for a link (pm'd) on the offchance.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,354 ✭✭✭nocoverart


    That was a funny read OP, sounds like comedy gold. PM me a link please and thanks.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    Who needs the link when the OP tells the tale so well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    You need to get that up on PornHub so we can.........eh.........analyse this recording you claim to have seen.


  • Registered Users Posts: 334 ✭✭Mahogany Gaspipe


    I wonder which would be the greater insult; being outted as one who must sh1te in a bucket; or to have allegedly participated in a 5 hours sex flop.

    Culture/


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    An bhfuil cad agam ag dul amach ar do tits?


    I was bad at Irish.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Nodin wrote: »
    This is too funny to be true. I ask for a link (pm'd) on the offchance.

    Yea, we need to see this man! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,354 ✭✭✭nocoverart


    Just watched it and couldn't stop laughing for the Two Minutes. I think reading the way OP described it before watching made it funnier than it should be. The chick looks like she was hit from the back of a mini bus though


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    HaltingsiteHoneyz 3


  • Registered Users Posts: 571 ✭✭✭Buckfast W


    I've seen it it's a funny one alright, there's also another one of the same people in a car and the young wan is getting the box pulled off her
    #marraigematerial


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Buckfast W wrote: »
    I've seen it it's a funny one alright, there's also another one of the same people in a car and the young wan is getting the box pulled off her
    #marraigematerial

    There may be a whole wotld of it.

    Traveller challenge porn video. We are in the future and its weird.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭NachoBusiness


    Fig Rolls Vol II.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 645 ✭✭✭cichlid child


    Have they moved from bare knuckle boxing challenges to sex challenges.
    Come in a bucket


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,470 ✭✭✭vandriver


    Amazing easy to find!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,268 ✭✭✭893bet


    I have seen a part of this video on viber or whatsapp.

    At one stage one of the gentle men asks the lady to show off her nether parts and uses the phrase "let the dog see the rabbit" or something to that effect. Genius.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 571 ✭✭✭Buckfast W


    Lets get a whatsapp thread going to share these videos (for purely scientific purposes) *cough cough*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Buckfast W wrote: »
    Lets get a whatsapp thread going to share these videos (for purely scientific purposes) *cough cough*
    You'd give random boardsies your mobile number so you can get some porn? Jesus...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    893bet wrote: »
    At one stage one of the gentle men asks the lady to show off her nether parts and uses the phrase "let the dog see the rabbit" or something to that effect. Genius.

    That was the Paddy McGuinness sex tape.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    smash wrote: »
    You'd give random boardsies your mobile number so you can get some porn? Jesus...

    Well he will get porn.....he'll never wipe his eyes clean again, but he'll get porn.


  • Registered Users Posts: 571 ✭✭✭Buckfast W


    Who said anything about receiving, I'm a giver :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 716 ✭✭✭Red King


    Lob It Into Me Boss is a classic of the genre


    So I hear


  • Registered Users Posts: 571 ✭✭✭Buckfast W


    Red King wrote: »
    Lob It Into Me Boss is a classic of the genre


    So I hear

    We should try and title this for future cinematic release over seas


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,752 ✭✭✭Lights On


    There's a couple of these kinds of videos floating around the web. The strangest thing is there always seems to be a group of lads just standing around watching and cheering on the fella doing the job.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,556 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Fig Rolls Vol II.

    How do they put the fig into the Fig Rolls?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Lights On wrote: »
    There's a couple of these kinds of videos floating around the web. The strangest thing is there always seems to be a group of lads just standing around watching and cheering on the fella doing the job.

    It's why it's called gonzo, you need a room full of muppets


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,413 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    vandriver wrote: »
    Amazing easy to find!
    Hammer89 wrote: »
    I stumbled upon some traveller porn recently. A classy production? I wouldn't go that far, but what it lacked in decorum and refinement, it more than made up for in accidental comedy.

    I'll set the scene: there's four travellers in a .......




    You two appear to know more than most about this.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 645 ✭✭✭cichlid child


    kowloon wrote: »
    How do they put the fig into the Fig Rolls?

    They put it in the wrong hole first.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,535 ✭✭✭valoren


    Now I know why they're called Sucks.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    'Can I park my tractor in your hay shed?'

    - An Irish porno by F. Christy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭kingtiger


    any chance of a PM for the link? or some google search keywords to find it?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,789 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    vandriver wrote: »
    Amazing easy to find!

    Go on, give us a clue.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,434 ✭✭✭Robsweezie


    Irish porn = a lovely big field, with lots of laaaand


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 178 ✭✭BenedrylPete


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    Go on, give us a clue.

    No, no.

    It must be shrouded in shadowey half answers and talk of pms and bans.
    Dont you know how many well connected hipsters use this site.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,789 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    No, no.

    It must be shrouded in shadowey half answers and talk of pms and bans.
    Dont you know how many well connected hipsters use this site.

    Feck ya so. I'll email Pavee Point for the link. :pac:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 178 ✭✭BenedrylPete


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    Feck ya so. I'll email Pavee Point for the link. :pac:

    Got some good friends over at pavee point.

    Myself and a well known musician filmed a 70s themed röckumentary from the back of a sulky.

    I cant say who the musician was though, or the name of the film. Its for us inner circle connected hipster elites only. Like traveller porn.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,052 ✭✭✭Matt_Trakker


    Ah, he's not saying fig, he's saying feek.....I think that's how they spell it.

    Heard this word first years ago form a couple of lads I went to school with from Wexford, y'know the part of the country where they're famous for having loads and loads and loads of.........errrr...........strawberries

    I remember one of them saying once.....'yea man, I feeked the head off her' although I thought it meant to finger a young one, didn't think that it mean to fúck a girl.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,264 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    This sounds more like the end of a Saturday night than an actual porn. Were there credits at the end of this movie, or is this just something that a few lads videoed on their phones?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,470 ✭✭✭vandriver


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    Go on, give us a clue.
    Pro clue :itp


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭dd972


    Slack day in the office OP ? :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 336 ✭✭.45auto


    Someone pm me a link and in ill link you a bit of weird porn in thanks.......purely for scientific purposes


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 202 ✭✭burkey85


    Pm a link to this please?
    :):):)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭NachoBusiness


    Ah lads, can someone not at least throw up some search terms that would be fruitful?

    When I Google 'Horse It Into Me Boss Dublin Riding' all I get are news stories about how Bruce Springsteen's daughter won a medal for show jumping at the RDS.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Ah lads, can someone not at least throw up some search terms that would be fruitful?

    When I Google 'Horse It Into Me Boss Dublin Riding' all I get are news stories about how Bruce Springsteen's daughter won a medal for show jumping at the RDS.

    "Irish gypsey girl" might work


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    When I Google 'Horse It Into Me Boss Dublin Riding' all I get are news stories about how Bruce Springsteen's daughter won a medal for show jumping at the RDS.

    Amazing.

    I can't tell you where to find it, incase it's against the rules, but I can tell you that you won't find it on a site called X-Hamster if you type "gypsy Irish girl" into the search place.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    .45auto wrote: »
    Someone pm me a link and in ill link you a bit of weird porn in thanks.......purely for scientific purposes

    Doesn't get much weirder than three itinerants and a little lady. That's the working title by the way.


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