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We need to create a new bible

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    #32
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,114 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    UCDVet wrote: »
    Seriously? They seem ridiculous to me. The first three are strictly to perpetuate the religion. I am the lord thy God/ no other gods / no making graven images / don't take the name of the lord in vain.

    We've got a list of 10 rules and we're going to waste three of them on making sure you get your religion right.

    We only have one rule against murder, but THREE about God (depending on which list of 10 commandments you're using).

    Then we've got one about keeping the Sabbath holy. I mean, we're putting MURDER on the same level as going to work on Sunday. For a perfect book describing perfect rules from a perfect God that seems pretty retarded.

    Honour thy mother and father....sure hey, that's nice to see.

    Then we've the 'covetting' - either 1 or 2 commandments, depending on which bible we're talking about.

    I'm not a biblical scholar, but I have covetted things. I do it all the time. I don't consider it a negative thing in the slightest. It motivates us, inspires us, encourages us.

    The bible says:


    I mean, wow. Okay, I get that a theme of the bible is 'we are all sinners' but the commandments aren't weighted. We just have 10 of them. No reason to assume they aren't equally valued by God.

    Looking at an attractive girl is as much a sin as not listening to my Mother as is MURDERING someone as is going to work on Sunday as is STEALING EVERYTHING YOU OWN.

    That's insane.

    And there are a few missing:

    Thou shalt not rape

    Thou shalt not keep or use slaves

    Thou shalt not elect the eFFers


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    #33
    dmc17
    Registered Users Posts: 3,726 ✭✭✭dmc17


    It's not that easy to write a work of fiction and get loads of people to believe it all.


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    #34
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,114 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    dmc17 wrote: »
    It's not that easy to write a work of fiction and get loads of people to believe it all.

    JK Rowling dreamt up a decent story on a busride to the job centre.


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    #35
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,746 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    The bible is OK just needs a more modern translation

    http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

    http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Jonah_1 Jonah and the Whale
    11 Teh storm kept waving. Iz microwave, then mexican wave.12 Jonah sez "Rsistnce iz fewtile. Biff me in teh sea, ocean can pwnzd kittah. Is mai fault. sry."13 But Michael triez to row teh boat to shore. He is phail, and teh storm iz getting worsnwors.14 So tehy preyed to Ceiling Cat, "wait. no! plz don't drowns uz, cuz cats dusn't lieks to get wet. DO NOT WANT. plsthnxbai."15 Tehn they toss Jonah into teh waterz, and teh sea iz calmed down liek on ritlin. srsly.16 Teh sailors iz so skeered they makes offrings of catnips and cheezeburgers and loots in bukkits for Ceiling Cat.17 Ceiling Cat maeked a LOLrus to eated Jonah, and Jonah iz in yr fishie making yr sushis for three days and three nights.




    the bible needs more lego too http://www.thebricktestament.com/home.html
    As the bible is not for kids it's rated for nudity , sexual content , violence and cursing


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    #36
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,746 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    UCDVet wrote: »
    We only have one rule against murder,
    ...
    Looking at an attractive girl is as much a sin as not listening to my Mother as is MURDERING someone as is going to work on Sunday as is STEALING EVERYTHING YOU OWN.

    That's insane.
    You should watch/read Shogun sometime. There's a bit where they say that back then the Japanese have only one punishment for breaking laws. The Assyrians were somewhat similar, but for most of history and for most people different laws then to have different punishments so it's not "as much a sin". And there's reams of rules in other places in the bible, the 10 commandments is just a tl;dr version with lots of the crazy stuff removed. Seriously there's mad stuff in the old testament.

    How many laws do you need about murder ?

    As you've pointed out there are some other commandments there to remove some of the main reasons for murder. In the days before DNA evidence and CCTV and mobile phone tracking people used to get away with bad things.


    Pherekydes wrote: »
    And there are a few missing:

    Thou shalt not rape

    Thou shalt not keep or use slaves

    Thou shalt not elect the eFFers
    The old testament has lots of stuff about rape. Including bits about killing all the men who've surrendered and taking all the fertile women. Lots on http://www.thebricktestament.com/home.html

    Slaves are mentioned in the new testament too. It's nearly as much fun discussing that as pointing out to a libertarian that Ayn Rand took government handouts when it suited her.

    As for FF didn't you read the whole golden calf debacle ?
    And then there's the whole prodigal son thing. They'll take back anyone who was expelled from the party.


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    #37
    Manach
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 9,668 Mod ✭✭✭✭Manach


    Given the revolving speed which modern people take onboard what they perceive as self-serving moral positions, it is hardly likely any printed book would be of interest to the new princlings that make up modern society.


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    #38
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,553 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Pocket bible.


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    #39
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,358 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    "On this day the armies of Mourinho did smite down their foe while pissing themselves laughing at the Philistine Wenger".

    Abramovitch 3:16


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    #40
    UCDVet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,894 ✭✭✭UCDVet


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    You should watch/read Shogun sometime. There's a bit where they say that back then the Japanese have only one punishment for breaking laws. The Assyrians were somewhat similar, but for most of history and for most people different laws then to have different punishments so it's not "as much a sin". And there's reams of rules in other places in the bible, the 10 commandments is just a tl;dr version with lots of the crazy stuff removed. Seriously there's mad stuff in the old testament.

    How many laws do you need about murder ?

    As you've pointed out there are some other commandments there to remove some of the main reasons for murder. In the days before DNA evidence and CCTV and mobile phone tracking people used to get away with bad things.



    The old testament has lots of stuff about rape. Including bits about killing all the men who've surrendered and taking all the fertile women. Lots on http://www.thebricktestament.com/home.html

    Slaves are mentioned in the new testament too. It's nearly as much fun discussing that as pointing out to a libertarian that Ayn Rand took government handouts when it suited her.

    As for FF didn't you read the whole golden calf debacle ?
    And then there's the whole prodigal son thing. They'll take back anyone who was expelled from the party.

    Yeah - but it'd be nice if the 10 commandments covered the 10 most important things not to do, in a way that made sense, avoided repetition and was for the betterment of society.

    'Here are the 10 rules you must follow, but also lots of others' - just doesn't have the same appeal. And the idea that going to work on Sunday makes the list, but raping someone doesn't is absurd to me. If we're going to write a new bible, let's acknowledge that most people won't read all of it, most people won't study it, and as such, let's maximize the value of the basics, like the 10 commandments. Make them 10 most serious offenses that we REALLY SHOULDN'T DO. Thinking a girl is attractive, well, according to the bible you've broken one of the 10 commandments. You might as well murder someone, in both cases you're a sinner, in both cases you've violated one of the 10 commandments, and in both cases you'll need to ask forgiveness.

    It's crazy to me.

    Four commandments dedicated to which God/how/when you worship that God....but not a word about rape, slavery, blackmail/extortion, prostitution/drugs/drinking and driving/playing with matches/littering/cleaning up after your dog/not playing loud music in an apartment after 9pm....

    I mean, I can think of an endless list of things I feel are infinitely more important than how someone spends their Sunday.


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    #41
    Putin
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Putin


    Mr_Muffin wrote: »
    We need to get rid of the existing one.

    Nah, I'd just rather we got rid of intolerance.


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    #42
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,746 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    UCDVet wrote: »
    If we're going to write a new bible, let's acknowledge that most people won't read all of it, most people won't study it, and as such, let's maximize the value of the basics, like the 10 commandments. Make them 10 most serious offenses that we REALLY SHOULDN'T DO.
    You're nearly 2,000 years too late. Already condensed into just two rules. And the first one more or less says "keep with the program"

    Matthew 22:36-40 New International Version (NIV)

    36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

    37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


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    #43
    MRnotlob606
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    Give it socks is the maxim that I live by.


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    #44
    LadyAthame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 793 ✭✭✭LadyAthame


    MRnotlob606 wrote: »
    Give it socks is the maxim that I live by.
    What if it has no feet?


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    #45
    NotASheeple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 424 ✭✭NotASheeple


    dmc17 wrote: »
    It's not that easy to write a work of fiction and get loads of people to believe it all.

    Well that's certainly original.


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    #46
    MRnotlob606
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    LadyAthame wrote: »
    What if it has no feet?

    Give it prosthetic limbs


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    #47
    catallus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    The bible we have is perfectly good. It has cherished genius and fanned the flames of awe and wonder which are the keystones of our civilisation. And it will provide sustenance to hungry souls long after we are gone.


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