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Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

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    #422
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Chill out and relax of a Friday at home . Great really


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    #423
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Suggestions of what to say as to the reason you are not drinking ?

    I have a wedding on 13th and have to go. Good friend so can't really slip of early.

    This is the area I really struggle on.


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    #424
    jacksie66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,988 ✭✭✭jacksie66


    This post has been deleted.


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    #425
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Carpet diem wrote: »
    Suggestions of what to say as to the reason you are not drinking ?

    I have a wedding on 13th and have to go. Good friend so can't really slip of early.

    This is the area I really struggle on.

    There many reasons or excuses you can say,

    You don't feel well, your driving early next morning,

    You have to bring the cat for a walk :-)

    Point is why do you think you have to give other people your reason for not drinking.

    Screw everyone else. Let them be uncomfortable no one really gives a damn what we're doing. You have a right to be healthy. Alcohol isn't a reward, it's a prison. I read a few posts in this thread every morning to remind myself of that,read back on your own and go to the wedding and have a great time sober. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.


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    #426
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    realies wrote: »
    There many reasons or excuses you can say,

    You don't feel well, your driving early next morning,

    You have to bring the cat for a walk :-)

    Point is why do you think you have to give other people your reason for not drinking.

    Screw everyone else. Let them be uncomfortable no one really gives a damn what we're doing. You have a right to be healthy. Alcohol isn't a reward, it's a prison. I read a few posts in this thread every morning to remind myself of that,read back on your own and go to the wedding and have a great time sober. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

    It really is a prison. Thanks


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    #427
    iusedtoknow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭iusedtoknow


    Early on, I had to go to a wedding - at the drinks reception etc, I got a bottle of NA beer and a pint glass, and walked around with it for about an hour. By then no one had noticed I wasn't drinking (even though I hadn't a drop). Then during the meal I just kept on water, again no one noticed. At the afters, with people dancing, and a few people too drunk to even notice I said my good-bye's to the couple and went to my room.

    I still had a lot of fun, busted a move on the dancefloor and regretted having the chicken :D.
    What I'm saying to you is...do what ever you have to do stay sober at the party. You may need to stretch the truth a bit, but this is about YOU and YOUR health - not them


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    #428
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    iusedtoknow wrote: »
    Early on, I had to go to a wedding - at the drinks reception etc, I got a bottle of NA beer and a pint glass, and walked around with it for about an hour. By then no one had noticed I wasn't drinking (even though I hadn't a drop). Then during the meal I just kept on water, again no one noticed. At the afters, with people dancing, and a few people too drunk to even notice I said my good-bye's to the couple and went to my room.

    I still had a lot of fun, busted a move on the dancefloor and regretted having the chicken :D.
    What I'm saying to you is...do what ever you have to do stay sober at the party. You may need to stretch the truth a bit, but this is about YOU and YOUR health - not them

    Thank you - all very simple stuff that I would probably advise someone else but sometimes you need to hear it from someone else. N/A for me so


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    #429
    enoughalready
    Closed Accounts Posts: 219 ✭✭enoughalready


    What harm is it to say the truth, how liberating it would be to just simply say that you have a disease called alcoholism and you don't drink. Full stop. F*ck the stigma. F*ck the stereotypes. F*ck the judgments. Start being true to yourself and remember those who care don't matter and those who matter don't care.


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    #430
    mickydoomsux
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,290 ✭✭✭mickydoomsux


    enoughalready wrote: »
    What harm is it to say the truth, how liberating it would be to just simply say that you have a disease called alcoholism and you don't drink. Full stop. F*ck the stigma. F*ck the stereotypes. F*ck the judgments. Start being true to yourself and remember those who care don't matter and those who matter don't care.

    I'd agree with this approach. there is a good chance you will lose some of your circle of friends (it has happened to me) but it is truly worth it for your sobriety. We are very drink-centric as a culture no matter what people say and it genuinely isn't healthy in a lot of peoples cases but a blind eye is turned to it and you're automatically a dry ****e for even mentioning it.

    There is more stigma attached to being sober than there is to being an alcoholic in Ireland and that is very wrong.

    Be open and proud about being a non-drinker. If people don't understand or like it, **** 'em.


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    #431
    Kunkka
    Registered Users Posts: 793 ✭✭✭Kunkka


    Kunkka wrote: »
    One day at a time. Don't be worrying about the past or future, just deal with today's stuff today.

    It's simple.

    The wedding isn't today is it? You worrying about it now is just creating more anxiety around it & it's going to make it a lot harder.


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    #432
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Kunkka wrote: »
    It's simple.

    The wedding isn't today is it? You worrying about it now is just creating more anxiety around it & it's going to make it a lot harder.

    Very true


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    #433
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Lovely weather, clear head. What more can you ask for.


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    #434
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    All good I have to say.

    One day at a day - need to keep reminding myself


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    #435
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Carpet diem wrote: »
    All good I have to say.

    One day at a day - need to keep reminding myself
    Good stuff!!


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    #436
    KrustyBurger
    Registered Users Posts: 221 ✭✭KrustyBurger


    I was re-reading some parts of my diary earlier and I saw this.

    "When you -finally- make up your mind to do something, or change something the relief is palpable. I’ve no desire to drink, at all. Normally I’d be over the moon what with getting the holidays etc and “celebrate” with a few drinks. I’ve no desire to do that and I don’t feel I’m missing out either. Quite the reverse. I’d be missing out if I did drink".

    Hope it helps.


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    #437
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Enough sleep is crucial.


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    #438
    marienbad
    Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    Carpet diem wrote: »
    Enough sleep is crucial.

    Don't get tired, don't get hungry, don't get thirsty was the advice I was given and sound advice it was . Very easy to confuse cravings with hunger thirst or tiredness.


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    #439
    auldgranny
    Registered Users Posts: 909 ✭✭✭auldgranny


    marienbad wrote: »
    Don't get tired, don't get hungry, don't get thirsty was the advice I was given and sound advice it was . Very easy to confuse cravings with hunger thirst or tiredness.

    Sounds like good advice


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    #440
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Hungry
    Angry
    Lonely
    Tired.

    Hungry: When I drink, I tend to starve myself to a certain degree. I know if I eat, my cravings will diminish. I hate eating and drinking at the same time. I'd much rather just drink. So I'd rather eat nothing, preserve my alcohol-sensitive empty stomach, then allow my ever-stronger cravings to win out. It is so easy to short circuit this destructive mechanism. Eating regularly, even overeating, is an effective strategy to keep me sober. However, I manipulated this response for so long, I actively have to ask myself now: "Are you really craving a drink? Or are you just hungry?" Much more often the latter.

    Angry: This is much trickier. I can go from calm to livid in a matter of seconds, and in this tiny timespan my decision making process vis a vis drinking can go from sound to off-the-charts crazy. My addiction knows this. So if something happens that makes me really angry, it tries to feed that anger, to get me more and more riled up, until I storm off and buy a bottle. I need to make a conscious effort, when I do get angry, to take a step back and let the full-body heat subside. Take a walk, hit the heavy bag, curse out loud. Recognize it, let it wash over me, let it pass. In the past, I would grab onto it and very pointedly see how angry I could get, because my addiction was in control, and my addiction knew if it could get me angry enough, it could get me to drink.

    Lonely: This is one of the biggest reasons I'm here. I am not surrounded by people who understand alcoholism or who want to admit that I have a problem with it. It would be so much more convenient, so much easier, if I could just learn to drink moderately. This can be frustrating. Finding community here, a community full of people who know exactly how nonsensical, infuriating and difficult addiction can be, is important. I have good friends but sometimes I need people who can empathize with this specific part of my life.

    Tired: This is sneaky. When I'm tired, I tend to be moody, irascible and generally disagreeable. Much, much easier for me to get angry when I'm tired, and anger is the king of all triggers for me. It helps immensely when I end my evenings early, shortly after dinner. I go upstairs, brush my teeth, lie in bed, read a book. Watch TV, whatever. Doing this seems to send a clear message to my brain and to my addiction: the day is over. It's too late to start drinking. We've already gotten ready for bed. This helps make evenings, a notoriously difficult part of the day for alcoholics, the easiest part of my day.


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    #441
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Exercising as part of a group is great way to get out and about to meet people and most importantly to exercise.


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    #442
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    I have to say I'm really enjoying life at the moment. Just getting the little things done that paint the full picture.

    Getting on better with people and also controlling conflict with people a lot more which leads to a less angry me.


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    #443
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Lesson learned - need to go to bed early to be up early. Bloody matches going into extra time ruins my sleep. Need to priortise


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    #444
    iusedtoknow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭iusedtoknow


    Carpet diem wrote: »
    Lesson learned - need to go to bed early to be up early. Bloody matches going into extra time ruins my sleep. Need to priortise

    you do...but you also need to ensure you get some pleasure into your life as well. Too regimented a life can bring misery, especially if you feel you are depriving yourself of something fun - it is one of the things that was raised in "kick the drink" - that you should aim to do what you normally would when drinking....only not drinking
    What i'm saying is...if watching football gives you some pleasure, you should embrace it - instead of regretting it....look at this way - you were watching the ET and penalties and went to bed sober, woke up a bit tired the next morning but not hungover!


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    #445
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    iusedtoknow wrote: »
    you do...but you also need to ensure you get some pleasure into your life as well. Too regimented a life can bring misery, especially if you feel you are depriving yourself of something fun - it is one of the things that was raised in "kick the drink" - that you should aim to do what you normally would when drinking....only not drinking
    What i'm saying is...if watching football gives you some pleasure, you should embrace it - instead of regretting it....look at this way - you were watching the ET and penalties and went to bed sober, woke up a bit tired the next morning but not hungover!

    True but work is work and its imortant to prioritise.
    Tbh soccer doesn't light up my world really either but I get what you are saying.


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    #446
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Is it just me or is it a common theme that those who are recovering from drink related issues are quite ambitious and intense people ?

    I know I have an issue myself where I know I have loads of ability to do well but this inner thing comes where I drink to excess to deprive myself of my goals. Kind of self destruct


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    #447
    Kunkka
    Registered Users Posts: 793 ✭✭✭Kunkka


    Carpet diem wrote: »
    Is it just me or is it a common theme that those who are recovering from drink related issues are quite ambitious and intense people ?

    I know I have an issue myself where I know I have loads of ability to do well but this inner thing comes where I drink to excess to deprive myself of my goals. Kind of self destruct

    Bingo

    There are countless successful people that used to have a drinking problem. 2 former US presidents, numerous actors, sports stars etc


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    #448
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Really enjoying my weekend.

    Exercise done
    Work done
    Nap done :-)
    Eating to be done yet which is the good part.

    Have few bits to do tomorrow on the list


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    #449
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    A fullfilling happy life with plenty of ups and downs and with the enjoyment of coming out the other side a stronger person or a life of misery and what ifs...

    Thats the way I see it.


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    #450
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Things are better for sure


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    #451
    Carpet diem
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Getting thoughts into my head again these days about going drinking and sure one blow out be ok. Any thoughts on how I should approach this??


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