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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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    #1862
    BeautyFromPain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32 ✭BeautyFromPain


    If, like me, you struggle with self-care as a result of depression, then you might find this useful: http://beautyfrompainblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/11/self-care-and-depression/


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    #1863
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,076 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    DeVore wrote:
    Attitudes ARE changing, there's a real push on now to end the silence.
    +1. This thread/conversation would not have happened even ten years ago, never mind twenty. It's not that long ago when our own taoiseach was making "jokes" about suicide.
    Gnobe wrote: »
    I appreciate the comments about being a virgin, but to me its signals how much of freak I am, and that I'm a failure, you see I always get the impression that if you're virgin in your late 20s, you're turnoff for life and the whole world will avoid you because it sends out bad signals.
    Believing that may send out bad signals and even then that's a stretch, but being a virgin won't. It really won't. People talk an awful lot of crap G. I should know I'm a major peddler of same :) but there are fewer subjects that people talk more crap about than sex, especially my own gender and especially on the internet on sites like you mention. You might be surprised how many men make it to 30 and beyond as virgins. I can easily think of half a dozen in my own lifetime and none of them were "freaks" or "failures". Certainly of my generation(people now in their 40's), the ones who were sexually active before 25 were more the odd ones out than not. Of course to listen to some of them at 20 you'd swear their lives were a Swedish erotic novel. :)
    Thats understandable, but its hard to live with knowing you're a ticking time clock and time is running out to change, so you end up with these life depressing horrible thoughts.
    Naturally, but the one constant in life is change. It really is G. No matter who you are or where you find yourself and the clock never runs out to make changes. I know people who have made major changes in their lives in their thirties, forties, fifties even sixties. Indeed I knew far fewer who made such changes in their twenties. You've your thirties ahead of you and IMHO that's a great life decade.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #1864
    jammstarr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    Gnobe wrote: »
    Anyway wish me luck in my appointment tomorrow, I'm becoming so desperate. :(

    Sorry to hear you're having a rough time man. Keep on posting here as often as you need to. Some good folks here that'll help out


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    #1865
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    I'm just back from Strabane and had my medical assessment. Didn't say very much other than write stuff down, spoke to my father afterwards and then suggested that I see a psychologist as I need to change the way I view myself apparantly. I'm due to have therapy in Derry at some point. He said to my father that I have "an abnormally low opinion of myself".

    Well you would do I suppose, if you've never had a girlfriend, having no prospect of having one, knowing what the consequences of not having one are (i.e. major red flags for women), in addition to having no social life and the prospects of not ever having one either in the future.

    Just die sad and lonely. I have no social skills and I'm not cool so I know the world hates me, whats the point in living like this much longer?

    I'm going to give this ago, but it is very hard. I feel like I have no future in this planet, unless I'm content enough to live like a loner for the rest of my sad sad life.


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    #1866
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Gnobe wrote: »
    I'm just back from Strabane and had my medical assessment. Didn't say very much other than write stuff down, spoke to my father afterwards and then suggested that I see a psychologist as I need to change the way I view myself apparantly. I'm due to have therapy in Derry at some point. He said to my father that I have "an abnormally low opinion of myself".

    Well you would do I suppose, if you've never had a girlfriend, having no prospect of having one, knowing what the consequences of not having one are (i.e. major red flags for women), in addition to having no social life and the prospects of not ever having one either in the future.

    Just die sad and lonely. I have no social skills and I'm not cool so I know the world hates me, whats the point in living like this much longer?

    I'm going to give this ago, but it is very hard. I feel like I have no future in this planet, unless I'm content enough to live like a loner for the rest of my sad sad life.

    I'm in the process of trying to get help to change the way I view myself and everything else. No doubt it will be tough, but it's the only way out.

    For what it's worth (being a female and all), to me, a guy not having had a girlfriend would mean nothing to me. If anything, it could be a good thing, as many people in relationships can become cynical from bad experiences. The sex thing is worth very little to a majority of girls. Being honest, as you get older you do tend to prefer a guy to know what he's doing, but there is definitely something great about learning with someone, especially someone you're mad about. I know it probably seems impossible right now, but try not to think of sex and girlfriends as what your life amounts to.


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    #1867
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    A guy not being a virgin doesn't always mean he knows what he is doing! :pac:

    Speaking just for myself, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Guys who have slept around a lot are actually a turn off for me. And I agree that being a virgin is a bit of a turn on :p

    Past sexual experience really isn't important in a good relationship, you learn from each other. You could be with a girl for ages, and the next girl you're with might like totally different things you have no experience of.

    What is important in a good relationship is what you bring emotionally, which is what you need to work on Gnobe. But you shouldn't be doing this with the hope of what you can offer a girl, but for what you need for yourself. Put relationships out of your mind and work on being happy with yourself. I've been in relationships at times I really should not have been, and they didn't turn out well.

    You say you are due to see a therapist at some point, follow up on that appointment and try and make it as soon as possible.


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    #1868
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,076 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    stupidusername wrote: »
    If anything, it could be a good thing, as many people in relationships can become cynical from bad experiences.
    +1. I'm significantly more cynical now than I was when I had very little relationship experience and TBH I'd love to wipe that from my mind. It's a lot easier to gain experience than to lose or ignore it.
    Gnobe wrote: »
    Well you would do I suppose, if you've never had a girlfriend, having no prospect of having one, knowing what the consequences of not having one are (i.e. major red flags for women), in addition to having no social life and the prospects of not ever having one either in the future.
    Try to remember G the bold parts are the bloody illness talking, not the real you, nor the potential you have, nor objective reality. I'd add the "major red flags for women" part too. Women have come on here and stated that it's not the case for them and even though I'm speaking as a bloke that's been my experience of what women have told me and what I've personally observed.
    This:
    Princess Peach wrote:
    Guys who have slept around a lot are actually a turn off for me.
    is more the general consensus than not in my experience.

    When you start to make changes and gain a foothold against the symptoms of your illness you'll begin to see more of a light at the end of this tunnel. You've made the first step and it wasn't an easy one for you and you should be proud of yourself for that. You might not feel that now, but I'll make a prediction now that in a shorter time than you think you'll look back at this first step and feel happy an proud you made it.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #1869
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Wibbs wrote: »
    +1. I'm significantly more cynical now than I was when I had very little relationship experience and TBH I'd love to wipe that from my mind. It's a lot easier to gain experience than to lose or ignore it.

    yep, it'd be a great thing not to carry our baggage everywhere.

    my first relationship was the worst thing for me, after the childhood and all I had before it, in terms of security and trust. I didn't know it at the time, but I needed my head sorting out then, before I got into any relationship. If I had done, well I would've found out what a dick my first bf was, possibly later, but there's a chance I would've had the security to end it a lot sooner, knowing it was bad for me.

    But at the same time, if a relationship is what you crave, to not feel alone, none of this is likely to sink in or mean anything.


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    #1870
    shuridunno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 111 ✭✭shuridunno


    Gnobe wrote: »
    I'm just back from Strabane and had my medical assessment. Didn't say very much other than write stuff down, spoke to my father afterwards and then suggested that I see a psychologist as I need to change the way I view myself apparantly. I'm due to have therapy in Derry at some point. He said to my father that I have "an abnormally low opinion of myself".

    Well you would do I suppose, if you've never had a girlfriend, having no prospect of having one, knowing what the consequences of not having one are (i.e. major red flags for women), in addition to having no social life and the prospects of not ever having one either in the future.

    Just die sad and lonely. I have no social skills and I'm not cool so I know the world hates me, whats the point in living like this much longer?

    I'm going to give this ago, but it is very hard. I feel like I have no future in this planet, unless I'm content enough to live like a loner for the rest of my sad sad life.

    Accepting how hard it is, is one of the first things in understanding yourself. You will find ways to cope, it does get easier as you get older. I thought I was finished with counselling last week and the counsellor just said..'now your ready to start' I've been going occasionally for nearly a year now.

    I know there's no point in saying anything about your virgin issue, but be assured, it's not near as big a problem as you think.

    I wish you well and I hope you take solace in knowing you are not alone.


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    #1871
    jammstarr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I'm very much in the same mindset as Gnobe.

    I've noticed my negativity is really affecting my relationships, it's been noted a few times now. I have to be less negative for fear of alienating myself further.


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    #1872
    Varied
    Closed Accounts Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Varied


    Fair play Gnobe, you're doing all the right things ie seeking help. A lot of people need to see others doing something about their depression, so it becomes less of a stigma.

    Good luck.


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    #1873
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    This may be of interest to a lot of people reading this thread:
    http://www.nda.ie/website/nda/cntmgmtnew.nsf/0/8F824B264630E702802579F4003B62DF?OpenDocument

    Not only for sufferers and the disabled but also for advocates, guardians, parents and carers.


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    #1874
    Morag
    Registered Users Posts: 8,423 ✭✭✭Morag


    Gnobe you can be a virgin and be an incredibly well informed one when ti comes to sex, sexuality and the body.

    I would suggest you look into learning about anatomy, technique, body language and reading peoples reactions and with "loving" yourself. No seriously, there is so much you can learn beforehand.


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    #1875
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    Hi,

    I just had another thread on PI closed, I didn't mean to repost the thread, I'm just very lonely and want to talk and becoming very desperate.

    I don't know if I will be here by the end of year, possibly not, but I will try.

    I'm not sure professional help will work, I know rightly the world hates me, the whole process feels incredibley robotic, I deserve it I have poor genes anyway. Science and natural selection is saying so.

    There's no point feeling sorry for myself. I'm grieving because I don't want die or end my life, and I'm scared sh*tless. But theres nothing I can do. I don't want to speak to samaritans, they don't really care about me, nobody does. I have to accept that and learn to live with it (which I probably wont).


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    #1876
    prinz
    Registered Users Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    Gnobe wrote: »
    I'm not sure professional help will work, I know rightly the world hates me, the whole process feels incredibley robotic, I deserve it I have poor genes anyway. Science and natural selection is saying so.

    No it isn't. Do you know the odds of you even getting as far as you've gotten? Even existing as you do today? So huge it's not even possible to understand. The chances of conception, the chances of surviving pregnancy, the chances of surviving birth, the chances that come with every decision your parents and others around you made while you were growing up, the outcomes of every decision you have made for yourself. it's not even possible to beging to comprehend the odds that have resulted in you being who you are today.If I cut my foot on a rusty nail is science and natural selection determing that I should die? Or should I go get a tetanus shot and move on? I don't know if you are religious or not but one of the main concepts of all the major world religions is appreciating ourselves for the miracle that we are every single day.
    Gnobe wrote: »
    But theres nothing I can do. I don't want to speak to samaritans, they don't really care about me, nobody does. I have to accept that and learn to live with it (which I probably wont).

    From your posts already it certainly sounds like your family cares. The professionals who have dedicated their lives to be in a position to help people in your position care. The people who volunteer their time to be a listening ear when you need it most.... do you think they do that because they don't care about people?


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    #1877
    shuridunno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 111 ✭✭shuridunno


    Realising you are on your own in this world is a good thing, you have only yourself to count on.

    I feel for you, I really do..There is a history and genetic element to my own situation, but I am still my own person despite that. So don't let science dictate how you feel.

    You may feel desparate now, but I don't think this is the best place to seek help.

    Sorry, I wish I could be more helpful.


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    #1878
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Gnobe wrote: »
    Hi,

    I just had another thread on PI closed, I didn't mean to repost the thread, I'm just very lonely and want to talk and becoming very desperate.

    I don't know if I will be here by the end of year, possibly not, but I will try.

    I'm not sure professional help will work, I know rightly the world hates me, the whole process feels incredibley robotic, I deserve it I have poor genes anyway. Science and natural selection is saying so.

    There's no point feeling sorry for myself. I'm grieving because I don't want die or end my life, and I'm scared sh*tless. But theres nothing I can do. I don't want to speak to samaritans, they don't really care about me, nobody does. I have to accept that and learn to live with it (which I probably wont).

    Hi Gnobe,

    I would urge you at this point to check here. If you are considering ending your own life, please get in contact with your GP as they are qualified to help you in ways we cannot. There are valid reasons why the threads in personal issues were closed.

    thanks and good luck.


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    #1879
    flutterflye
    Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    Gnobe wrote: »
    Hi,

    I just had another thread on PI closed, I didn't mean to repost the thread, I'm just very lonely and want to talk and becoming very desperate.

    I don't know if I will be here by the end of year, possibly not, but I will try.

    I'm not sure professional help will work, I know rightly the world hates me, the whole process feels incredibley robotic, I deserve it I have poor genes anyway. Science and natural selection is saying so.

    There's no point feeling sorry for myself. I'm grieving because I don't want die or end my life, and I'm scared sh*tless. But theres nothing I can do. I don't want to speak to samaritans, they don't really care about me, nobody does. I have to accept that and learn to live with it (which I probably wont).

    I've had those exact thoughts and feelings many many times before.
    Even still, I have no idea what to say to you.
    I don't know what services there are in Omagh, but here there is Pieta House - they're very good - is there anything like that near you?


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    #1880
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    I got a phone call there from my mental health guy I saw in strabane.

    He rang pretty much at the wrong time, at the time I was feeling suicidal. I was nearly in tears and he could hear the trembling in my voice. He asked me does my mother know how I feel right now, I said no I don't want to upset her because she'll burst into tears. She has to live her life.

    Its 5 days in row I've burst into tears. It seems to be coming every 6-12 hours now. I can't even get out of bed.

    That poll on the ah thread has confirmed all my worst fears. I'm not sure I want help, I dont want to annoy people and feel I'm a lost cause.

    The guy was ringing and wanted to increase citalopram from 20mg to 40mg and somebody needs to collect it today.

    Whatever it wont work. I know if I die I wont be feeling this pain anymore. I don't want to die, but I feel it might have to be for the best in the long run. Its a terrible situation I'm in. I can't help think about my funeral, and the grieving that will go on.


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    #1881
    The Black Oil
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 18,219 CMod ✭✭✭✭The Black Oil


    Gnobe wrote: »
    I know if I die I wont be feeling this pain anymore. I don't want to die, but I feel it might have to be for the best in the long run. Its a terrible situation I'm in. I can't help think about my funeral, and the grieving that will go on.

    No. No, it's not.

    Moderator: Television, Psychology and Dublin County North.

    CMod: Entertainment



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    #1882
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    dr.bollocko wrote: »
    Hi Gnobe,

    I would urge you at this point to check here. If you are considering ending your own life, please get in contact with your GP as they are qualified to help you in ways we cannot. There are valid reasons why the threads in personal issues were closed.

    thanks and good luck.
    Gnobe wrote: »
    I got a phone call there from my mental health guy I saw in strabane.

    He rang pretty much at the wrong time, at the time I was feeling suicidal. I was nearly in tears and he could hear the trembling in my voice. He asked me does my mother know how I feel right now, I said no I don't want to upset her because she'll burst into tears. She has to live her life.

    Its 5 days in row I've burst into tears. It seems to be coming every 6-12 hours now. I can't even get out of bed.

    That poll on the ah thread has confirmed all my worst fears. I'm not sure I want help, I dont want to annoy people and feel I'm a lost cause.

    The guy was ringing and wanted to increase citalopram from 20mg to 40mg and somebody needs to collect it today.

    Whatever it wont work. I know if I die I wont be feeling this pain anymore. I don't want to die, but I feel it might have to be for the best in the long run. Its a terrible situation I'm in. I can't help think about my funeral, and the grieving that will go on.

    Hi Gnobe. We here at AH are not qualified to help you through this time.

    You clearly have some mental health issues and you need to get professional help for that.

    This is outside of the scope of this forum and those who post in it.

    Please do not repost.


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    #1883
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    Hi all,

    I hope you allow me to post here I just want to say something decent for once.

    I spoke to a random university councillor and she was desperate to contact my gp, which she did.

    I then got speaking to my former GP who my father knows well. He offered me to come in for a chat, to which I wasn't sure because I didn't want put doctors off schedule for some loser like me.

    He then asked me about increasing my dosage of citalopram from 20mg to 40mg and to speed up my process of getting a psychologist quicker.

    I apologise for speaking on here so depressingly, but I wanted to speak to somebody other than my mother, who I've made cry every night and couldn't hack that anymore. Its very lonely and the internet was my only option. :(

    Anyway finally he offered to come to my house and see me at 5pm, to which I was delighted and accepted.

    So some good news and I hope don't get banned for writing this, I just thank people who took an interest and who advised me this route for last couple of hours.

    I wont be posting on here for a while now, at least not until tonight. I just want to thank everyone and I'm sorry for getting threads closed etc.

    Thank you and sorry for the trouble caused.


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    #1884
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    mod:

    Hello folks.

    Lets please move on from the above and get back to the topic of the thread in general.

    Please PM for clarification.


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    #1885
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Dr Bollocko smells of wee. (but he's right, Gnobe you are most welcome here, but you need to get professional guidance and we arent professionals, we're just sharing experience here)


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    #1886
    Chucken
    Registered Users Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Good programme just started on TV3. :)


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    #1887
    girlonfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 337 ✭✭girlonfire


    ^^ What did you think of the programme? I found it interesting. A little bit scary in the sense that I may be dealing with this for the rest of my life all the same


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    #1888
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    My thinking on the whole "willI have this for the rest of my life" is this...


    I probably wont have lung cancer for the rest of my life because I dont smoke.

    I take basic health precautions and it massively reduces my risk of getting lung cancer.
    Now, you could say that I could easily take up smoking tomorrow and lung cancer could strike and so therefore I am currently, and will for the rest of my life, suffer from lung cancer. But that would be silly, no?

    Similarly, I am taking basic mental health precautions and it massively reduces my risk of getting depressed.
    Now you could say that I could easily stop doing that and depression could strike and therefore I am currently, and will for the rest of my life, suffer from depression. But that would be silly, no?



    Yes it could return, but I could also get cancer. You wouldnt say I was suffering from cancer. :)


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    #1889
    girlonfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 337 ✭✭girlonfire


    Thank you! Much more logical way to look at it, not to mention stepping out of the victim role.


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    #1890
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Thank you :)

    As tempting as "pity"/victimhood is... its lethal to me, I can't have a pity-party (what if nobody came?? omg... morto! :) )
    No really, pity leads to me thinking its ok to wallow, just for a bit and then pretty soon after that its all "wooooeee is me!!!" and 2 days in bed with a giant tub of Ben and Jerrys.



    Actually, B&Js is awesome, must get some.


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    #1891
    girlonfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 337 ✭✭girlonfire


    I think it's lethal for anyone dealing with depression and funnily enough, I slipped right in there watching the programme tonight - nothing to do with the programme, but with my own thoughts. Again, goes to show the impact of this thread and of support from great people like yourself DeVore. I feel empowered again.

    I think the most decent thing I can do is have a toast for you and every other supportive poster here over a tub of Ben & Jerry's;)


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