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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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    #1832
    southcentralts
    Registered Users Posts: 833 ✭✭✭southcentralts


    and being off it for the past week, was that as bad, as before you started taking it?


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    #1833
    valise le tete
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭valise le tete


    Drumpot wrote: »
    My wife is like that with me and I hate myself for it. . And part of the problem, is admittedly me . . I am very good at expressing my feelings (something I was awful at when younger), but I am now, at least on occasions, very good at articulating to my wife how I feel and why I feel that way. It makes her feel that things that upset her are irrelevant in comparison to my pain. . As she says "it always feels like you have far more serious things to worry about" and part of the problem in my view is that I have to work on listening to her more and trying to empathise, even if I think that she is getting worked up about things that are trivial in my eyes.

    I think its vital that my wife can tell me even the most trivial things, IF THEY REALLY UPSET HER. A persons worst fears or anguish might not bother somebody else, all that matters is that its really serious/important to them. . I admit I havent perfected the art of encouraging my wife to speak more (I try and sometimes Im just barely keeping myself going so I fail!), but I think its terribly important that you dont feel alienated or that your problems/worries feel downgraded by your partners troubles . .

    Thank you for that, yes, thats exactly the way it seems to be. Its very isolating. I guess Im more afraid that if i express some of my sadness that he will not want to be with me and think I am not the strong person he thought I was when we met.

    Its hard to know were to begin really.

    Your poem was beautiful btw, Love the expresson of feelings words can give.


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    #1834
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    I would just raise a note of caution about advice around going on/coming off meds.


    There is good weather around the corner, Tuesday onwards... I'm looking forward to that. I'm kinda scared about the future for no particular reason (except that my life is a never ending series of bizarre events ranging from the catastrophic to the laughable :) ) but I'm trying to summon the steel to face the future and while I'm a bit fragile at the moment, it actually seems like I can face this.

    There have been some good developments in my life in the last 6 months, not the least of which has been deciding to face down this fncking thing and fight. If my depression was a bully and I saw it doing what it does to me to someone else... I'd box its head in :)
    But when its me, I let it get away with murder.

    So, get up Tom, get out, get on. I'm going to fight and I'm going to get put on my arse a few times I guess cos thats what happens in a fight but I've had it with this, I want to be happy and I deserve to be happy. I'm going to fight for me.

    Sorry, I'm kinda talking to myself here, but yer all welcome to earwig :):)

    T.


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    #1835
    jammstarr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    Drumpot wrote: »
    The norm nowadays . . But in all fairness, I know exactly why I feel like this (alot of serious stress/pressure) . .

    But my wife will confirm that I can go days or weeks even months "ok" and likewise weeks/days/months then be just Distant, lethargic, non responsive (like a zombie) . . The anti depressents work at making me "ok", but they had side effects I just couldnt live with.

    How about you . . Is it a daily thing or sporadic like me ?

    They come and go. Sometimes only like this for a few hours whereas other times can be weeks.


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    #1836
    Mucky.Bucky
    Registered Users Posts: 83 ✭✭Mucky.Bucky


    Was watching The Waltons this morning and it was good. :-) I wish I was living in such a life like the Waltons or that of Little House On The Pairie.

    So was racing about all afternoon. And found a lovely little cafe with a country style kitchen decor and guess what? Sitting down having tea I was transported right into the Waltons.

    So I'm back home. I'm going for a quick nap because I'm tired and will be heading out later. Good and peaceful feeling today.

    Dare I say, I'm horny. First time in months. Going for a rub too. Man, I'm gagging for a rattle.


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    #1837
    valise le tete
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭valise le tete


    DeVore wrote: »
    I would just raise a note of caution about advice around going on/coming off meds.


    There is good weather around the corner, Tuesday onwards... I'm looking forward to that. I'm kinda scared about the future for no particular reason (except that my life is a never ending series of bizarre events ranging from the catastrophic to the laughable :) ) but I'm trying to summon the steel to face the future and while I'm a bit fragile at the moment, it actually seems like I can face this.

    There have been some good developments in my life in the last 6 months, not the least of which has been deciding to face down this fncking thing and fight. If my depression was a bully and I saw it doing what it does to me to someone else... I'd box its head in :)
    But when its me, I let it get away with murder.

    So, get up Tom, get out, get on. I'm going to fight and I'm going to get put on my arse a few times I guess cos thats what happens in a fight but I've had it with this, I want to be happy and I deserve to be happy. I'm going to fight for me.

    Sorry, I'm kinda talking to myself here, but yer all welcome to earwig :):)

    T.


    Fair Play to you. That made me smile ( a lot ) and haven't had much of a smile in weeks. I get that feeling a lot, I get angry with the depression like its some kind of parasite, your dead right, you wouldn't let it hurt someone else so why let it hurt you. Will do my upmost to keep your words in mind. Am so glad I found this thread have been feeling a little better since reading it.


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    #1838
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    I was having a ball in that torrential rain on friday round town. I went in during the break between exams, loved walking round with my big hood up.


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    #1839
    stuchyg
    Registered Users Posts: 1,491 ✭✭✭stuchyg


    Never really said any of this before so forgive if I get a bit rambly. My mother has suffered with depression(v slight) since I can remember really so have kinda grown up with it.

    Personally im in my mid twenties, full time job, own house, gorgeous g/f whom i love. The problem i find is that i often fined myself daydreaming of everything in my life going tits up and not in a slapstick kinda way. Il wander off in my own mind to a life where my g/f has left me and iv lost my job and she parades around in front of me, maybe my parents have died or my brother or family is sick. This tends to happen most days at some point or another and tends to get me quite down even if only for a little while, to the point where I know im not great to be around for my partner( she will ask whats wrong). I cant explain to her why I do feel the way I do as I don't even know myself. Some times i wont have daydreamed anything and I will be overcome with this sense of morose.

    Most of the time I am v happy and outgoing with a good sense of humour but these spells still come over me for brief moments of time.

    I guess this has been a very long winded way of asking is depression hereditary


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    #1840
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Yes, I believe it is hereditary.It seems so to me.

    I rarely like to give advice here, I prefer to talk from my experience but one thing I will say is that daydreaming is lethal and you need to grab yourself and attend to the present, to the now. Don't wander away, its not healthy and "just a daydream". Its really bad because where your mind is, your body is and when you think stressful things your body goes into stress mode and dumps all kinds of chemicals into the blood stream. These in turn create that mood you experience. You are literally altering reality with your daydream (even your partner can tell something has changed!).
    I used to daydream like mad, loads of times, even in company and now I try to jerk myself back to the present and not let my mind wander.... even if its 10 x 1 minute daydreams thats much better than a 10 minute daydream where I have time to concoct a bad situation and really stress myself. Give it a try and see if it works for you.


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    #1841
    _AVALANCHE_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,620 ✭✭✭_AVALANCHE_


    DeVore wrote: »


    There is good weather around the corner, Tuesday onwards...
    :pac::pac: Wanna bet??




    Ray D'arcy: Irelands Depression Epidemic TV3 Tuesday at 22.00
    TV3’s issue-based programmes can vary in quality, but hopefully this new three-part series can shed some light on a topic of major importance for Irish society. It’s only in recent years that the subject has been talked about openly, and a major thrust of D’Arcy’s show is help further reduce the stigma associated with the condition. In this opening episode he has some straightforward explanations of the different types of depression, and also talks to people who’ve suffered from them.






    MT C says
    TUESDAY ... Intervals of cloud and sunshine, showers developing mid-day and afternoon, lows near 8 C and highs near 16 C.

    Covering all the bases :pac::D


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    #1842
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I'm feeling a bit better now. my boyfriend came over, and stayed for a couple of days. had a nice time with him. I don't feel bad about losing my friend, I guess it's mostly because I know she was wrong, and showed herself to be quite uncaring about me and my situation. I thought of her as a good friend, but if this is the way she is, well then obviously she didn't ever think much of me.

    Hopefully this won't dent my confidence too much. thanks to all here for support and advice.


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    #1843
    jammstarr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    Hope O_o wrote: »
    ...How long does depression last? I wonder...

    I've been like this so long I can't help but think it'll last forever. I hope it doesn't but can't get out of this mindset.


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    #1844
    flutterflye
    Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    Hope O_o wrote: »
    ..How long does depression last? I wonder...

    Different for everyone, and different each time.
    I've had it on and off since I was about 15.
    Each stint for me can last anywhere from 3 months, to 2 years.
    And each bout differs in intensity too.
    So many variables.


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    #1845
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Low again. :(
    Hope O_o wrote: »
    ...How long does depression last? I wonder...

    Varies hugely person to person and depending on the type of depression you get I think, whether you have some form of bipolar or not etc.


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    #1846
    jammstarr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I think I already know the answer to this but is it normal to not want to live? I'm not suicidal at all but the thought of this for the next few years doesn't fill me with joy. Anyone feel like this too?


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    #1847
    shuridunno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 111 ✭✭shuridunno


    Ray D'arcy: Irelands Depression Epidemic TV3 Tuesday at 22.00



    I don't think anything anyone can say or do will change the perception of of mental health issues. It'd be great if it could but unfortunately, that's just the way things are.

    I'm off to the doc in the morning to hand over €50 for an answer he can't give me. I do it every few months just to keep others happy.


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    #1848
    girlonfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 337 ✭✭girlonfire


    shuridunno wrote: »
    Ray D'arcy: Irelands Depression Epidemic TV3 Tuesday at 22.00



    I don't think anything anyone can say or do will change the perception of of mental health issues. It'd be great if it could but unfortunately, that's just the way things are.

    I don't think this is true. Yes, there's a huge stigma surrounding the issue of mental health, but it doesn't have to remain this way. The more open people are, the greater the chances that people will begin to educate themselves and change their views.


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    #1849
    shuridunno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 111 ✭✭shuridunno


    girlonfire wrote: »
    I don't think this is true. Yes, there's a huge stigma surrounding the issue of mental health, but it doesn't have to remain this way. The more open people are, the greater the chances that people will begin to educate themselves and change their views.

    I agree it would be great, but education wouldn't change a stigma like this. It runs deep in people and scares them, whether they have experience of mental health issues first hand or witnessed it.

    People would rather it be packed away somewhere they didn't have to look at it and be reminded about how fragile the mind is, people would rather ignore what could sometime be their own problem.

    I have seen collegues passed over for promotion because of depression histories. Another person I knew hid their problems, got promotion after promotion but could only do it because every outside of work kept them going.


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    #1850
    Hope O_o
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭Hope O_o


    jammstarr wrote: »
    I've been like this so long I can't help but think it'll last forever. I hope it doesn't but can't get out of this mindset.
    You think our happiness gene has gone missing? or maybe its lying dormant for us to excavate it from all of lifes heartaches we've piled onto it?
    Maybe the more technical the machine and the more intricate its workings, then the more time it takes to repair?
    Someday shall joy be yours/ours... :)
    jammstarr wrote: »
    ...I'm not suicidal at all but the thought of this for the next few years doesn't fill me with joy. Anyone feel like this too?

    I can relate in a way... I find myself wishing "I just wanna go home" (only there is no home to go to), which indicates I'm not happy with where my life is headed... So, yes, I don't look forward to a life of feeling this dead inside when I can clearly see life is filled with a glorious richness... somewhere out there, beyond my grasp at the moment.

    I wonder about perspective and illusion. How solid are these 'walls' we've made for ourselves, in the past, that seemingly direct our destiny? They feel ominous, but the slightest shift in perspective can reveal them to be pure illusion... I dunno...


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    #1851
    shuridunno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 111 ✭✭shuridunno


    Hope O_o wrote: »
    You think our happiness gene has gone missing? or maybe its lying dormant for us to excavate it from all of lifes heartaches we've piled onto it?
    Maybe the more technical the machine and the more intricate its workings, then the more time it takes to repair?
    Someday shall joy be yours/ours... :)

    I think that's very articulate..I like it.



    I can relate in a way... I find myself wishing "I just wanna go home" (only there is no home to go to), which indicates I'm not happy with where my life is headed... So, yes, I don't look forward to a life of feeling this dead inside when I can clearly see life is filled with a glorious richness... somewhere out there, beyond my grasp at the moment.

    I thought it was just me who was homesick..maybe we're from the same place

    I wonder about perspective and illusion. How solid are these 'walls' we've made for ourselves, in the past, that seemingly direct our destiny? They feel ominous, but the slightest shift in perspective can reveal them to be pure illusion... I dunno...

    Have a read of Awareness by Anthony De Mello. It might interest you.


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    #1852
    Hope O_o
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,177 ✭✭✭Hope O_o


    shuridunno wrote: »
    Have a read of Awareness by Anthony De Mello. It might interest you.
    Nope I haven't read it :) will check it out... Thanks shuridunno (love your :) username btw)


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    #1853
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    I have a psychiatritic appointment tomorrow for first time.

    I'm 25, I'm a virgin, a read stuff on eharmony and plenty of fish about women will run mile about guys over 25 and no sexual experiance etc. It depresses me and I feel I have no future.

    I mentioned suicide in my thread and so it got closed. I'm not short term suicidal, but I have considering revaluating it in 6 months time if I'm this depressed. I'll do everything to fight it though. But its REALLY HARD.

    Anti-depressants don't appear to be working. I went and poured my eyes out to my mum, she cried too worried that they're might not be anything that can be done and is panicking.

    I said I don't want to die, but the pain is so immense that I was only considering it 6 months down the road to help them because I don't want them to see me like this anymore.

    Anyway wish me luck in my appointment tomorrow, I'm becoming so desperate. :(


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    #1854
    Leeg17
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,127 ✭✭✭✭Leeg17


    Gnobe, your thread was locked in PI but I'll let the post stand here for now (though a different mod may choose otherwise).

    There's a multitude of helpful links in the original post of this thread. I'm no professional but will say that it does get easier eventually, and suicide should never be an option no matter how bad the future may seem.

    Best of luck.


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    #1855
    prinz
    Registered Users Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    Gnobe wrote: »
    I have a psychiatritic appointment tomorrow for first time.

    Good job taking that step.
    Gnobe wrote: »
    I'm 25, I'm a virgin, a read stuff on eharmony and plenty of fish about women will run mile about guys over 25 and no sexual experiance etc. It depresses me and I feel I have no future.

    I know it's easy to say not to stress about it, but seriously in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal. So what if you're a virgin? My OH was a virgin at your age. Some people make the decision to wait, for others it just doesn't happen, but it happens at different times for different people. If you'd had a drunken fumble 7 years ago, you wouldn't be a virgin, but you wouldn't exactly have a lot of experience etc either. It's a journey. Anyone who'd run a mile from a decent partner because they were a virgin is a muppet plain and simple.
    Gnobe wrote: »
    Anyway wish me luck in my appointment tomorrow, I'm becoming so desperate. :(

    Best of luck.


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    #1856
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    Gnobe wrote: »
    I have a psychiatritic appointment tomorrow for first time.

    I'm 25, I'm a virgin, a read stuff on eharmony and plenty of fish about women will run mile about guys over 25 and no sexual experiance etc. It depresses me and I feel I have no future.

    I mentioned suicide in my thread and so it got closed. I'm not short term suicidal, but I have considering revaluating it in 6 months time if I'm this depressed. I'll do everything to fight it though. But its REALLY HARD.

    Anti-depressants don't appear to be working. I went and poured my eyes out to my mum, she cried too worried that they're might not be anything that can be done and is panicking.

    I said I don't want to die, but the pain is so immense that I was only considering it 6 months down the road to help them because I don't want them to see me like this anymore.

    Anyway wish me luck in my appointment tomorrow, I'm becoming so desperate. :(

    First off, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at all so don't ever think that! So wht if you are! It is not the end of the world and speaking form experience us women are not turned off by that in the slightest :)
    Those that are, are shallow and just bítches! As for reading about it on the dating websites, that is only a small handful of women who think this. The majority of women arent like that! And you shouldnt feel like you have no future...of course you have one! :)

    It is really hard to fight depression. Ill be honest i have thought about killing myself and to be honest i cant go through with it. No matter how hard life is, killing yourself wont make all your problems go away no matter how much you may think it will! It wont! It is never an option! In march my friend tried to kill himself in front of me and another friend and it was terrifying to say the least, i saw how much it affects others and i wont go through with it! You are 25 years old you have your whole life ahead of you!! :)

    You should feel so lucky that you have your family out there supporting you! It is clear that your mum loves you very much that she is showing her emotions to you that she is worried. I havent told my mum or dad about my depression. I dont think they would care. I know them too well and im sure they will just laugh it off and tell me to perk up that im just grumpy! I dont have the support from them, i have some support from my sister but she lives far away and she is the only family member i have opened up to.

    There is always something you can do even if it feels like there isnt! There is always someone there you can talk to whether it be a profession, a friend, a family member or one of us on boards! Sometimes talking can help, i know it is hard to do but it does help :)

    Good Luck with the appointment tomorrow i hope it goes really well for you! :)


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    #1857
    djk1000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 899 ✭✭✭djk1000


    Gnobe wrote: »
    I have a psychiatritic appointment tomorrow for first time.

    I'm 25, I'm a virgin, a read stuff on eharmony and plenty of fish about women will run mile about guys over 25 and no sexual experiance etc. It depresses me and I feel I have no future.

    I mentioned suicide in my thread and so it got closed. I'm not short term suicidal, but I have considering revaluating it in 6 months time if I'm this depressed. I'll do everything to fight it though. But its REALLY HARD.

    Anti-depressants don't appear to be working. I went and poured my eyes out to my mum, she cried too worried that they're might not be anything that can be done and is panicking.

    I said I don't want to die, but the pain is so immense that I was only considering it 6 months down the road to help them because I don't want them to see me like this anymore.

    Anyway wish me luck in my appointment tomorrow, I'm becoming so desperate. :(

    Just wondering if you've been speaking to a counsellor or psychologist on a regular basis?

    I know it's easier said than done, but try not to fixate on stuff. The mind does strange things when you're depressed. It might seem to you that being a virgin is a big deal and a cause of your depression, but it's highly likely that your depression is just latching on to this insecurity and causing you to fixate on what really is not a problem at all.

    There are plenty of 25 year old virgins out there, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. It will happen eventually, probably when you least expect it and when you've stopped worrying about it. :-)


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    #1858
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    djk1000 wrote: »
    Just wondering if you've been speaking to a counsellor or psychologist on a regular basis?

    Yes I have, I've had 5 sessions so far. The councillor I'm speaking to is nice, excellent in fact. But I'm not sure she can help me, infact I'm not sure anyone can, its that deep.

    You see the embarresing thing my father is a consultant psychiatrist (albeit he does old age psychiatry). And he can't help me either much. Maybe because I'm his son not a patient.
    Leeg17 wrote:
    I'm no professional but will say that it does get easier eventually, and suicide should never be an option no matter how bad the future may seem.

    I appreciate that, but at the moment its not, its quite clichiac. I don't want to talk about the subject of suicide but its really hard to avoid the concept right now as the pain is so great. I'm fine on a short term basis but I fear for my long term future if this does not work in the mean time I will fight though.

    Tbh I have considered the concept of suicide for years, since I was about 18 as my life sucked then. If life doesn't get better by 25 I would do xxx, but this is the first I've had help about it.
    Pixie_Fairy wrote:
    You should feel so lucky that you have your family out there supporting you! It is clear that your mum loves you very much that she is showing her emotions to you that she is worried. I havent told my mum or dad about my depression. I dont think they would care

    I have no choice its not like I can hide, I burst into tears for no reason in the kitchen blubbing that the pain is too great and that its selfish to keep me alive etc.

    I appreciate the comments about being a virgin, but to me its signals how much of freak I am, and that I'm a failure, you see I always get the impression that if you're virgin in your late 20s, you're turnoff for life and the whole world will avoid you because it sends out bad signals. Thats understandable, but its hard to live with knowing you're a ticking time clock and time is running out to change, so you end up with these life depressing horrible thoughts.
    prinz wrote:
    Best of luck.

    Thanks.


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    #1859
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Depression lasts until you open up and talk to someone imho.


    See, now I sound like Deepak Chopra. :p




    Stigma's abate. Years ago it was a big thing to be a cliathog, a lefthander. Or to be gay. Or have a kid out of wedlock... all these things changed with time and more importantly, with familiarity. The more people who come out and say "you know what, I get depressed" the more usual it will become and seeking help will be no big thing...
    Attitudes ARE changing, there's a real push on now to end the silence.


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    #1860
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Gnobe, your sexual experience is not really of any interest to women. I've never heard a lady ask how many times a guy has been with another woman before or even after hooking up with them. I was in my 20's when I lost my virginity, a lot of people are in that boat, so its not weird or freakish etc. And you will overcome your wild mood swings when you get stuck into counselling and when you take actions (like chatting with your folks and staying mindful of your emotional state) more regularly. i know it can seem like it will never get better but I've been there and really, 2 days later I can be looking back on it wondering how I got to that state. Things will get better for you and you are going the right way to get there, but you are right, it is hard, very hard, but you are taking the right steps and it gets better. Maybe you should ask your counsellor about group therapy like Aware or Grow, and see that you really arent a freak or a weirdo... honestly, you arent :)


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    #1861
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    Gnobe, have you thought about the "up-side" of being a virgin in your 20's?

    Nowadays, a lot of people throw away their sexuality way too young imho.

    Has it occurred to you that when you meet a girl that the prospect of you being a virgin may be very attractive to her?
    Because you waited for the right girl?
    And that she may be it?
    Just my 2c :)


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