Girls doing the asking?

Vanbis · 12-11-2008 8:45pm #1

Hi all,

It always seems that the guy generally do the asking if they spot a girl they like if out and about. I'm sure there are a few girls who have asked guy out when in a pub or clubs, but I'm just curious after reading another thread if there are many girls who have every approached a guy they have seeing out while on the dart/bus or in general really.

Nevyn · 12-11-2008 8:48pm

yup.

12-11-2008 8:55pm

No because I like to know that my dates own a pair of testicles.

fatal · 12-11-2008 8:57pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

No because I like to know that my dates own a pair of testicles.

I lol'd!

F.A. · 12-11-2008 9:04pm

Hmm, maybe not on the bus, but in other social settings, yeah, I've done it. Not as in asking a total stranger out on a date, but as in general conversation to break the ice and get to know them better.

Nevyn · 12-11-2008 9:42pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

No because I like to know that my dates own a pair of testicles.

There are time I prefer my date not to have testicles esp when I have asked a lady on a date.

OpenYourEyes · 12-11-2008 9:44pm

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are time I prefer my date not to have testicles esp when I have asked a lady on a date.

christ! picky or what!!:rolleyes:

Vanbis · 12-11-2008 9:46pm

OpenYourEyes wrote: »

christ! picky or what!!:rolleyes:

hehe

little lady · 12-11-2008 9:50pm

Never asked out a complete stranger but I have asked guys out.

Elle Victorine · 12-11-2008 9:54pm

I never approached a randomer I thought was hot. ANd if they approached me I'd tell them to head off. BUt I have done the asking out for guys I've known and liked.

Placid_Casual · 12-11-2008 9:57pm

Its happened to me the once or twice. Personally, I wish it'd happen more, it makes you feel great. That, and the fact that I can be a little shy myself.

g'em · 12-11-2008 10:01pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

No because I like to know that my dates own a pair of testicles.

Y'know, I think I'm going to employ this line of thinking for a while; asking blokes out has generally ended up in me cursing them for this very reason somewhere down the line.

And lol btw

Zaph · 12-11-2008 10:24pm

g'em wrote: »

asking blokes out has generally ended up in me cursing them for this very reason somewhere down the line.

[mutter]never asked me out

[/mutter]

g'em · 12-11-2008 10:36pm

Zaph wrote: »

[mutter]never asked me out [/mutter]

And take you away from the luscious ladies of tLL?? I wouldn't dare

Galvasean · 12-11-2008 10:58pm

It's the 21st Century. We have female bus drivers, female war veterans...

Why not?

kingtut · 12-11-2008 11:03pm

I have the utmost respect for any woman who would do the asking...It would make a very pleasant change. Shows that she has guts. Shame no girl has ever made the first move on me

I don't get why girls still prefer the old fashioned way....

I asked one girl if she really really wanted to kiss a guy would she and she said "no, he would have to kiss me first", so I said are you saying that he will possibly never find out that you want to kiss him and she said yes...
Seems kinda dissapointing to me.... I live in hope that there are lots of girls out there that fancy me but just won't make the first move*.

*crosses fingers and anything else that he can cross*

cuckoo · 12-11-2008 11:11pm

I have asked guys out, and have kissed rather than wait to be kissed.

Each situation is different so I wouldn't have hard and fast rules about it.

Although...i did make the first move on someone that i ended up seeing for a while, and during the relationship he said that he regreted that he hadn't made the first move himself, and that he felt a little lessened somehow.

So, now i'm a little wary - but, then, a guy that can't handle the (omg!) threat to his masculinity of not being the All Seducing Macho Man is probably not someone I'd be happy with anyways.

So - yes, I'm all for people making moves on people.

kingtut · 12-11-2008 11:20pm

cuckoo wrote: »

I have asked guys out, and have kissed rather than wait to be kissed.

Where are you hiding?? Are there more of you?? :eek:

Any of your 'kind' in Cork by any chance...Plzzzzzzz say there is

Bottle_of_Smoke · 13-11-2008 12:26am

It's just nature, men are the chasers, see behaviour of other animals. It's not within the scope of "equality". Sure some women will but for the majority it's never gonna change.

Just like the US presidential election :P

ironictoaster · 13-11-2008 12:33am

I have never heard or seen a girl doing the asking, ah well.

brianthebard · 13-11-2008 12:48am

g'em wrote: »

Y'know, I think I'm going to employ this line of thinking for a while; asking blokes out has generally ended up in me cursing them for this very reason somewhere down the line.

Well on that note; want to go out for a carb up sometime? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively*

Oh, on the theme of girls asking out; don't think I've ever been asked out on a date before but I have been jumped by a girl. It sounds kind of cool but its pretty silly-she fancied me for a while, but she had this overwrought way of showing it that made me think she was pulling the piss so I ignored it or sometimes played along. So eventually one night she jumped me. :cool:
I'd like to be asked on a date sometime, that'd be nice.

Weidii · 13-11-2008 1:51am

I could never ever, EVER ask a guy out. (Though somehow I think I might be able to pluck up the courage when it comes to females)

C.D. · 13-11-2008 2:13am

I'm a confident guy, and I saw an incredible girl a few weeks- so much so that I thought she was out of my league. Lo and behold she approached me, later asked me for my number and later asked me for a date. Needless to say I was totally flattered, have had a few fantastic dates and hopefully it will keep going that way. Personally, I thought it was refreshingly different and very flattering- though this girl is not Irish so maybe it was not as much of a big deal for her!

Puddleduck · 13-11-2008 9:26am

Yes, since Ive started dating Ive had no problem asking guys out..sometimes its blown up in my face, sometimes it hasnt. Thats the game.

I've also kissed men Ive wanted to kiss...why wait???

Carturo · 13-11-2008 9:33am

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

It's just nature, men are the chasers, see behaviour of other animals. It's not within the scope of "equality". Sure some women will but for the majority it's never gonna change.

Just like the US presidential election :P

Yeah I love the chase to be honest! Wouldn't mind if a girl wanted to kiss me and did, it's happened before and was pretty cool. If a girl wants to take the risk as guys always do I'm on for that.

enda1 · 13-11-2008 9:44am

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

It's just nature, men are the chasers, see behaviour of other animals. It's not within the scope of "equality". Sure some women will but for the majority it's never gonna change.

Just like the US presidential election :P

Its just nature women are the carers, see behaviour of other animals. It's not within the scope of "equality". Sure some women will but for the majority it's never going to change.

Therefore stay home have babies and cook.

Fast foreward to the 21st centuary - grow up!

g'em · 13-11-2008 9:52am

Puddleduck wrote: »

Yes, since Ive started dating Ive had no problem asking guys out..sometimes its blown up in my face, sometimes it hasnt. Thats the game.

Well here's the thing - I have absolutely no problem whatsoever asking a guy out, I tend to have the patience of a two year old so I don't like the whole hanging around waiting for them to make the move thing. But, like I said above I'm beginning to realise that this has a tendency to backfire.

A guy who hasn't the cojones to ask me out on a date (and believe me, it's not that difficult to tell when I like someone) is probably not going to be suitable for me in the long run. I'm strong minded (read: stubborn) and I'm not exactly the most laid back person in the world - I know, I know, I'm making myself sound like such a catch right now

- so what's the point in me actively choosing someone who can't speak their mind right from the get-go?

There's also an argument to be made that I'm too forward, and that this kind of thing scares the bejeebus out of guys. Well, if that's the case "meh" frankly to that individual, if you can't handle me asking for what I want you're not going to last very long in my company.

So perhaps I need to strike a balance, and allow the chase to come to me a bit more often. I know in society is increasingly dictating that women can and should call the shots where asking men out is concerned, but the old school rules of attraction will still apply in general terms (men are chasers etc. etc.).

Bah, I dunno, men are just as confusing as women where this stuff is concerned tbh, and you can't pigeon-hole them any more than you can with the wimmin.

enda1 wrote:

Its just nature women are the carers, see behaviour of other animals

Careful with that argument, you can't blanket example the evolution of gender roles quite that simplistically - see penguins and seahorses for obvious sex-role reversals.

Puddleduck · 13-11-2008 9:55am

You have to sort of balance it out. If you see somebody you like then make a move, thats my motto!! Although I do agree that sometimes the men that dont ask are a bit..weak willed, but sometimes they are just shy.

CDfm · 13-11-2008 9:58am

Got an invite to dinner me paying a few months back. champagne etc was planned.

Just happened to be lunching with some great girls - who had a text war with the wan while i was out for a ciggy. Furious exchange of what she would do for dinnner ended up with her getting a takeaway chinese delivered later that day.I was totally unaware and blissfully innocent.

Very mcnasty- but very funny- I was saved for someone nicer.

Thats 6 months ago and I havent heard from the wan since- hope she liked chicken balls.:eek:

g'em · 13-11-2008 9:59am

brianthebard wrote: »

Well on that note; want to go out for a carb up sometime? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively*

Your date suggestion is inherently flawed though: low-carbing = low moods and crap temperament, and at the point of carb ingestion the only thing visible in my eyes is the food in front of me, George flippin' Clooney could be two feet away and I'd still push him aside in favour of a family-sized bowl of pesto taglietelle

Carturo · 13-11-2008 10:02am

CDfm wrote: »

Got an invite to dinner me paying a few months back. champagne etc was planned.

Just happened to be lunching with some great girls - who had a text war with the wan while i was out for a ciggy. Furious exchange of what she would do for dinnner ended up with her getting a takeaway chinese delivered later that day.I was totally unaware and blissfully innocent.

Eh..what?

brianthebard · 13-11-2008 10:47am

g'em wrote: »

There's also an argument to be made that I'm too forward, and that this kind of thing scares the bejeebus out of guys. Well, if that's the case "meh" frankly to that individual, if you can't handle me asking for what I want you're not going to last very long in my company.

So perhaps I need to strike a balance, and allow the chase to come to me a bit more often. I know in society is increasingly dictating that women can and should call the shots where asking men out is concerned, but the old school rules of attraction will still apply in general terms (men are chasers etc. etc.).

Bah, I dunno, men are just as confusing as women where this stuff is concerned tbh, and you can't pigeon-hole them any more than you can with the wimmin.

I think the last point there is the most important. Guys are confused about the whole thing, but at least they know they are supposed to be the ones doing the asking out, bad as that is. If women take that role from them, even if they didn't like it, what the hell are they supposed to do instead? Listen?? :eek:

Your date suggestion is inherently flawed though: low-carbing = low moods and crap temperament, and at the point of carb ingestion the only thing visible in my eyes is the food in front of me, George flippin' Clooney could be two feet away and I'd still push him aside in favour of a family-sized bowl of pesto taglietelle

Lolz!

Madame Razz · 13-11-2008 11:06am

Funny, I always thought that asking somebody out meant asking somebody to be their boyfriend/girlfriend???

(In which case yes, I was seeing a guy for a while and eventually got sick of the humming and hawing and asked him to be my boyfriend. He said yes and we were together over two years:D)

But as regards asking a guy on a date/for a drink. I think firstly it depnds on the nationality of a man. It might be ok to ask a guy from elsewhere out, but the Irishman is a entirely different breed.

If an Irish guy likes you enough he will ask you, if he really likes you that much, even if he has the balls of a rodent, he will ask you to go a drink/date. Irish Men are remarkably complicated when they want to be, and remarkably UNcomplicated when they want to be. Simplicity becomes de riguer when an Irish man is genuinely interested.

Which is why, despite how much the role of women has changed blahblah blah, I would never ask an Irish man out; because if he was genuinely interested he would have been straight in there doing the asking.

And sure, you could do the asking, and Mr Irish might say yes, but he might not really be that into you, but go along with the whole thing, maybe even see you for a while cos its easier than saying no, and heck, maybe hes slightly enjoying it; but eventually he'll be honest with himself and it'll all end in tears. (Sometimes we are still far too polite for our own good. We've got the silly manners thing ingrained in us still nearly 100 years later. I blame the Brits)

So Ladies, even in this fine year of 2008, let the Irish men do the asking, at least you'll know from the off that they're super keen, which makes this easier/better/nicer in the long run!!

Kya1976 · 13-11-2008 11:24am

I've no problems asking someone out, kinda enjoy it tbh:)

homerun_homer · 13-11-2008 11:28am

manukahoney wrote: »

If an Irish guy likes you enough he will ask you, if he really likes you that much, even if he has the balls of a rodent, he will ask you to go a drink/date. Irish Men are remarkably complicated when they want to be, and remarkably UNcomplicated when they want to be. Simplicity becomes de riguer when an Irish man is genuinely interested.

I would never ask an Irish man out; because if he was genuinely interested he would have been straight in there doing the asking.

So Ladies, even in this fine year of 2008, let the Irish men do the asking, at least you'll know from the off that they're super keen, which makes this easier/better/nicer in the long run!!

Nooooo!! There are countless threads on boards with guys saying girls should do a bit more on the flirting/asking a guy out front. You can't say a guy isn't interested in a girl because he didn't go up to her to talk/ask her for a drink.
You have to realise what's going on in his head;
"she's hot...wonder has she a boyfriend...she keeps looking over...should I go over...what do I say...what if she or her friends laugh me out of it...screw it I'll just stay here and hope she comes by and says hello"

Reku · 13-11-2008 11:30am

A simple way to look at this, regardless of the gender of the asker, is that if asking them is not worth the risk of rejection then you apparently don't find them that attractive, whether it be physically or psychologically. There should be no expectation for either gender to take the lead, it should simply be down to who is the most interested in the other.

G'em's problems may stem from this, the lads didn't ask as they weren't that attracted to her but decided to give things a try anyway when she asked.

Madame Razz · 13-11-2008 11:31am

homerun_homer wrote: »

Nooooo!! There are countless threads on boards with guys saying girls should do a bit more on the flirting/asking a guy out front. You can't say a guy isn't interested in a girl because he didn't go up to her to talk/ask her for a drink.
You have to realise what's going on in his head;
"she's hot...wonder has she a boyfriend...she keeps looking over...should I go over...what do I say...what if she or her friends laugh me out of it...screw it I'll just stay here and hope she comes by and says hello"

I still maintain if a guy is interested enough they will do the asking/make the move regardless. They'll figure what have they got to lose.

Maybe thats just down here in the sticks tho!

g'em · 13-11-2008 11:34am

farohar wrote: »

G'em's problems may stem from this, the lads didn't ask as they weren't that attracted to her but decided to give things a try anyway when she asked.

Wow. That makes me feel so... shit frankly

enda1 · 13-11-2008 11:35am

manukahoney wrote: »

I still maintain if a guy is interested enough they will do the asking/make the move regardless. They'll figure what have they got to lose.

Maybe thats just down here in the sticks tho!

Sher maybe he hasn't seen you across the bar? Thinks your not single? Seems like an awful waste that girls would be waiting for the guy to come to them, look at all the missed possibilities!!

Also the fact that there are probably loads of guys without the confidence in certain circumstances to ask a girl out, doesn't mean he's a bad guy or that your not suited but maybe its his one weakness. Seems all very old fashioned to me to be honest and think it stems these ladies fear of rejection.

homerun_homer · 13-11-2008 11:36am

manukahoney wrote: »

I still maintain if a guy is interested enough they will do the asking/make the move regardless. They'll figure what have they got to lose.

Maybe thats just down here in the sticks tho!

Galway the sticks?? granted in a city there is not much to lose because you can lose yourself in a crowd but unfortunately the Clare/Limerick side of things ain't too hot and everyone knows or at least recognises everyone most of the time so frmo that perspective it has become a daunting task.

I am in Dublin enough though and still don't pluck up the courage half the time, there is no big excuse but fear I suppose. I think it should be a 2 way street, the girl doesn't have to ask the guy out but if she instigated a wee chat then there is no harm in waiting for the guy to ask.

norrie rugger · 13-11-2008 11:41am

C.D. wrote: »

I'm a confident guy, and I saw an incredible girl a few weeks- so much so that I thought she was out of my league. Lo and behold she approached me, later asked me for my number and later asked me for a date. Needless to say I was totally flattered, have had a few fantastic dates and hopefully it will keep going that way. Personally, I thought it was refreshingly different and very flattering- though this girl is not Irish so maybe it was not as much of a big deal for her!

I hope that she paid for the first date!
seeing as she asked you out

Madame Razz · 13-11-2008 11:50am

homerun_homer wrote: »

Galway the sticks?? granted in a city there is not much to lose because you can lose yourself in a crowd but unfortunately the Clare/Limerick side of things ain't too hot and everyone knows or at least recognises everyone most of the time so frmo that perspective it has become a daunting task.

I am in Dublin enough though and still don't pluck up the courage half the time, there is no big excuse but fear I suppose. I think it should be a 2 way street, the girl doesn't have to ask the guy out but if she instigated a wee chat then there is no harm in waiting for the guy to ask.

Galway is a bloody small place, and actually isn't the easiest city to meet somebody in. evrybody is more interested in having a good time!!

I don't mena that a girl should close herself off to a guy completely and wait for him to do the approaching. I'm all for mutual instigation of small talk etc, even the girl instigating it. But I still reckon beyond the getting to know you, number swapping, maybe little good night kiss point it is much better to have the guy do the asking.

Just my 2c

homerun_homer · 13-11-2008 11:54am

manukahoney wrote: »

Galway is a bloody small place, and actually isn't the easiest city to meet somebody in. evrybody is more interested in having a good time!!

I don't mena that a girl should close herself off to a guy completely and wait for him to do the approaching. I'm all for mutual instigation of small talk etc, even the girl instigating it. But I still reckon beyond the getting to know you, number swapping, maybe little good night kiss point it is much better to have the guy do the asking.

Just my 2c

You're right there, girls should get in there with the small talk. It is cooler that the guy asks her out if he is put in the position to ask her but anyone who doesn't then is a fool.

Galway is quite small, I was up every weekend for the bones of a year and you keep seeing the same heads around so I suppose it's a bit like the predicament down here.

norrie rugger · 13-11-2008 11:58am

easy answer is,

Girl instigates the talking, this breaks the ice for the guy.
It will then be much easier if he wants to ask you out to do so

Madame Razz · 13-11-2008 12:00pm

homerun_homer wrote: »

You're right there, girls should get in there with the small talk. It is cooler that the guy asks her out if he is put in the position to ask her but anyone who doesn't then is a fool.

Galway is quite small, I was up every weekend for the bones of a year and you keep seeing the same heads around so I suppose it's a bit like the predicament down here.

+1 to all of the above!!!

brianthebard · 13-11-2008 12:01pm

homerun_homer wrote: »

Nooooo!! There are countless threads on boards with guys saying girls should do a bit more on the flirting/asking a guy out front. You can't say a guy isn't interested in a girl because he didn't go up to her to talk/ask her for a drink.
You have to realise what's going on in his head;
"she's hot...wonder has she a boyfriend...she keeps looking over...should I go over...what do I say...what if she or her friends laugh me out of it...screw it I'll just stay here and hope she comes by and says hello" have another pint to work up the courage

Fyp for you!

Climate Expert · 13-11-2008 12:09pm

My friends and I have given up chasing girls as they always come after us. We could probably end up with a few more if we put in the effort but what is the point?

homerun_homer · 13-11-2008 12:15pm

Climate Expert wrote: »

My friends and I have given up chasing girls as they always come after us. We could probably end up with a few more if we put in the effort but what is the point?

Where are ye going every week, coppers??

brianthebard · 13-11-2008 12:17pm

A harem is a useful thing to have CE. Besides who doesn't like appropriating objects?

Casey ca · 13-11-2008 12:19pm

I once told a random stranger that he was the hottest guy that i had ever seen. He thanked me, kissed me on the cheek and then his girlfriend (a 6ft blonde) came back. Never had the courage since then!

norrie rugger · 13-11-2008 12:19pm

homerun_homer wrote: »

You're right there, girls should get in there with the small talk. It is cooler that the guy asks her out if he is put in the position to ask her but anyone who doesn't then is a fool.

Galway is quite small, I was up every weekend for the bones of a year and you keep seeing the same heads around so I suppose it's a bit like the predicament down here.

Bugger,

I had to answer the phone before I posted my reply. ya beat me to it

Girls doing the asking?

Comments