Rules of Dating

Donie75 · 03-04-2008 12:05pm #1

Ladies,
I'm looking for some help, as a guy who is useless at this dating & relationship stuff.
Do women have dating rules? I was talking to a group of friengs (guys) recently who said that there is a book (probably American) detailing the techniques and rules of dating and finding the right man. Apparently it covers stuff like time schedules in a relationship, not being too clingy or available... and lots of other stuff.
What do the Ladies of TLL think?

LadyE · 03-04-2008 12:07pm

Donie75 wrote: »

Ladies,
I'm looking for some help, as a guy who is useless at this dating & relationship stuff.
Do women have dating rules? I was talking to a group of friengs (guys) recently who said that there is a book (probably American) detailing the techniques and rules of dating and finding the right man. Apparently it covers stuff like time schedules in a relationship, not being too clingy or available... and lots of other stuff.
What do the Ladies of TLL think?

I think I need that book!

[WoW] · 03-04-2008 12:11pm

IMO books on dating are just a money making racket. everyone's different. I know everyone says this but just act yourself;). whats the point in sticking to rules if eventually you might go steady and you'll have to act yourself anyway?
you'll either get along or you wont.
Some girls probably do have rules like not texting back for at least a day or they'l seem too clingy etc

tallaght01 · 03-04-2008 12:12pm

Rule number 1 from the Tallaght01 (stunningly unsuccessful) dating rule book:

No matter how much you like her early on, don't let her see the full extent of your feelings. She'll run a mile. So play it cool for the first while.

Haven't gotten to rule 2 yet

aye · 03-04-2008 12:13pm

read the game by neill strauss. it's a biography of how he bacame a pick up artist. it's not a relationship or self help book, it's a good read tho.

minidazzler · 03-04-2008 12:17pm

Donie, Why would you tell the Ladies of TLL about this book? Are you mad? Now every guy any of them dates (who believe what the Book says and act on it) Will not feel well!!!!

Knowledge is Power, but American Dating books are horrible horrible things!!!

heavyheart · 03-04-2008 12:21pm

Chemistry between ye will make you forget about any rules anyway so forget about them... relax and go with the flow of the date (s) ...

Latchy · 03-04-2008 12:37pm

That dating book sounds so 50s american but then again the amercian way of dating is a bit different to the european/irish way in that dating to them is like sugar in their coffee, like a routine of sorts and they can be dating 2,3 or more people at once .Their are no rules to dating really except appearences good manners, and not being a tight wad go a long way in the end .

kaimera · 03-04-2008 12:45pm

There was me thinking there might be something useful I could use for tomorrow night

Guess I'll have to wing it

watna · 03-04-2008 12:48pm

I think the whole ideas of dating books is ridiculous. They actually annoy me. There's not prescribed behaviour that women (or men) find attractive and no sure fire way to be succesful at dating.

You just meet the right person, that's all. What one lay-dee might think was sweet and romantic and a nice way to play things, might have me reaching for a bucket!

Maple · 03-04-2008 12:50pm

aye wrote: »

read the game by neill strauss. it's a biography of how he bacame a pick up artist. it's not a relationship or self help book, it's a good read tho.

Good God not this book. Its hilarious. "I find you oddly attractive" :eek: Bog off you gobsh1te!

MizzLolly · 03-04-2008 12:53pm

tallaght01 wrote: »

Rule number 1 from the Tallaght01 (stunningly unsuccessful) dating rule book:

No matter how much you like her early on, don't let her see the full extent of your feelings. She'll run a mile. So play it cool for the first while.

Haven't gotten to rule 2 yet

He's totally right!!

watna · 03-04-2008 12:54pm

tallaght01 wrote: »

Rule number 1 from the Tallaght01 (stunningly unsuccessful) dating rule book:

No matter how much you like her early on, don't let her see the full extent of your feelings. She'll run a mile. So play it cool for the first while.

Haven't gotten to rule 2 yet

Rule 2: Wash regularly!

aye · 03-04-2008 12:54pm

maple wrote: »

Good God not this book. Its hilarious. "I find you oddly attractive" :eek: Bog off you gobsh1te!

yep it's hilarious i agree. its not a relationship book, just funny and interesting.

Dragan · 03-04-2008 1:14pm

aye wrote: »

read the game by neill strauss. it's a biography of how he bacame a pick up artist. it's not a relationship or self help book, it's a good read tho.

I read that and thought it was a comedy to be honest.

Besides, if you need a book for something as simple as human interaction with the opposite sex then you'd be better off buying a bible and having a pray.

It would help about as much as anything else.

Maple · 03-04-2008 1:35pm

aye wrote: »

yep it's hilarious i agree. its not a relationship book, just funny and interesting.

A guy at home tried to use some lines out of this book on my sister and I at Christmas. He was mortified when we pulled him up on it. The tool.

03-04-2008 1:48pm

There is absolutly nothing less attractive than someone not listening to you, with a smug **** eating grin on their face. Having already anticipated your point/reactions/desires.
Because someone has let them in on the holy grail of intersex relations.
The knowledge that women are essentially uniform, like a borg collective.

I smack men like this.

John Mason · 03-04-2008 1:56pm

The Book is called "The Rules". it's about 10 years old, we bought it for a ex-friend for her birthday because was/is a mess when i comes to men, she turns into a bunny boiler and stalks them until they have to get restraining orders (i am serious)

anyway, it says things like: -

Always finish the phone call first, that way he will think are a busy

If you phone him, keep a stop watch and time the call, you must finish it after 9 minutes, i think

If he phones after wednesday to ask you out for a date at the weekend. Always so no that you have plans. whether you do or not or else he will think you have kept your weekend free just in case he called

thats all i can remember

tallaght01 · 03-04-2008 2:00pm

watna wrote: »

Rule 2: Wash regularly!

Jeezo, girls are so demanding nowadays.

Donie75 · 03-04-2008 2:01pm

Cheers for all the replies. This is only a bit of fun. The topic came up for discussion when one of the lads said he thought he was being played a bit by a woman he is seeing. He said he felt she was working from a set of rules like not replying to texts immediately, sometimes 24 hours. Also things like not being available for a few days or not inviting him when he drops her home after a date even though they were seeing each other for a few weeks.
All the guys are in their early thirties so I guess most of the women they meet would have a more long term view to relationships, but not all.

Nevyn · 03-04-2008 2:03pm

Rules ? like as in THE rules, as in a codifed set that everyone agrees to be bound by and to used ?

No such things, other crap if you ask me, people may have thier own personal rules but if there is a generic set that all women are ment to use then I never recieved a copy or signed up to be bound by them.

aye · 03-04-2008 2:16pm

irishbird wrote: »

anyway, it says things like: -

If he phones after wednesday to ask you out for a date at the weekend. Always so no that you have plans. whether you do or not or else he will think you have kept your weekend free just in case he called

thats all i can remember

thats ridiculous.
as a guy i would just think she doesnt have much on this weekend, not that she kept it free for me. our ego's aren't that big :rolleyes: (i hope)

netopia789 · 03-04-2008 2:19pm

but how do i ask out a gril i like in school

humanji · 03-04-2008 2:32pm

Apparently you keep pulling her pigtails.

Balmed Out · 03-04-2008 2:37pm

Be clean and put some thought into what your wearing, consider using the iron.
Be on time, she prob wont but still.
Notice and complement her appearance. I find compliments regarding hair and accesories etc that match what shes wearing work best. Shows u appreciate she put a bit of time into getting ready.
Dont be too passive. Girls apparently dont like it if u let her decide everyrthing ie where u go, sit etc.
Be funny without saying anything too risky.
Be interested in what she does, is interested in etc. Try your best to remember it too.
Remember her name.

topper75 · 03-04-2008 2:43pm

Was really into this girl at start of year - she was ticking boxes faster than a pen can write. Blonde, bubbly, intelligent, sporty, seemed v. together emotionally.

However, I got these alternate waves of enthusiasm and coolness that just did my head in.

The really odd thing was this mathematical proportion of communication initiatives! i.e. she only calls/texts me once for every two calls/texts from me to her! A perfect 2:1 rule thing going on.

I had to move on. It was childish. Shame.

Moral of the story - girls can play games to entertain themselves - however if you really want a fella to stick around - natural is always best approach. We fellas can be thick - but not that thick. From some of the posts here - it seems that the only possible approaches for a girl are 'cucumber cool' or 'bunny-boiler'!

Donie75 · 03-04-2008 2:44pm

I did a bit of googling and found a list of "The Rules" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules
I read them in amazement because I could see how a lot of them have been used on my and my mates. A good few were very relevant to the discussion we had...
They must be very shallow women to live by these rules...

Dragan · 03-04-2008 2:55pm

31 : Don't Discuss the Rules with your Therapist lol

Man, those rules seem pretty tailor made to keep you single.

aye · 03-04-2008 3:15pm

Dragan wrote: »

31 : Don't Discuss the Rules with your Therapist lol

Man, those rules seem pretty tailor made to keep you single.

got to agree with that!!

# 05: Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls

Donie75 · 03-04-2008 3:38pm

Yeah Topper75,
I had a similar experience with a girl before, it all looked perfect but she definitely seemed to be playing some sort of game. One of her friends even told me that she worked of a set of dating rules. I'm not sure if they were the same ones but i could definitely see a similarity with a good few of them. Like not seeing me more than once or twice a week. I lost interest after a few months of trying fairly hard.

D

topper75 · 03-04-2008 3:42pm

Shame Donie.

I can understand a girl in midteens trying this but when girls in their late20s early30s are reading such books... any girl with a half a brain would recognise this book as daft. Don't see any girl here defending them.

Rules of Dating

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