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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

G_R

Original thread here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056238863

Last thread hit 10k posts so needed to be closed.

Remember, no personally identifiable information please and thanks.

Anyway, as you were

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b_mac2

coolhull wrote: »

A weird one from a friend of a friend.

"Was tinkin las nite bout the stuf we deleet off a our fones. Texts, pitchers, fillums anal. Where do dey go? Dey mus go into space sum where, rite? Cud it be dat dats wots runing the climate.?Yeers ago dey said it's de gas from our hare sprays and boddy sprais. Cud it may be be the sh1te weer deleetin off our fones n computers? It mus be harmful to the world, rite. Hu knose?

Class, discuss this theory among yourselves. Quietly.

Surely a wind up?

rawn

"Looking at all da Tweets complaining about the Government not doing enough.........Der da fecking eegits da vote these wasters into power!!!!!!!!!!!!"

RonanP77

coolhull wrote:

"Was tinkin las nite bout the stuf we deleet off a our fones. Texts, pitchers, fillums anal. Where do dey go? Dey mus go into space sum where, rite? Cud it be dat dats wots runing the climate.?Yeers ago dey said it's de gas from our hare sprays and boddy sprais. Cud it may be be the sh1te weer deleetin off our fones n computers? It mus be harmful to the world, rite. Hu knose?

Two things immediaty stand out.

First, your friend is a semi literate moron.

Second, if I were to watch any fillums about anal, I would most definitely not have them saved on my phone to need deletion.

Liam McPoyle

dirkmeister wrote: »

I'm not sure when men decided that 30 was the new 15. When men thought it was better to remain independent than making a commitment to another. When men we're courageous in business and battle but afraid to be fathers. I'm not sure when video games and "guy night" became more important than tee-ball and date night. When 4 year relationships weren't long enough for a proposal. When staying out became cooler than showing up. I'm not sure when men became boys.

Our culture has a boy problem. In Italy, they call it Peter Pan Syndrome. I call it immaturity and selfishness. Men so focused on their dreams, their visions, and their desires they find themselves wealthy, known, and alone.

The adult world doesn't need more boys. We need men who will grow up, know up, and show up. Who will fight for romance and commit quickly and stay indefinitely. To turn their hearts toward children and work to raise them well. To be friends who grow friends. Not just by compliments, but accountability and conviction. We need more men.

We need more men of integrity and character. Those who will hold a moral code and not compromise it. Those who love women, treat them as they would their own daughters and lead them when everything doesn't make sense... They would lead. We need more men.

Today, I turn 31. I'm a man. And I'm proud of that. Please share as a birthday gift #EveryPostALesson #DaleyWisdom

The one who shared this keeps her husbands balls in her purse.

She's always sharing memes about how a man needs to treat his other half better.

Who the hell is Daley Wisdom?

coolhull

RonanP77 wrote: »

Two things immediaty stand out.

First, your friend is a semi literate moron.

Second, if I were to watch any fillums about anal, I would most definitely not have them saved on my phone to need deletion.

Comments include : "das rite hun. I never tawt bout it b4"
"Wudnt u think some 1 would a figgered it out b4 now? "
Plus a few sensible ones but they take all the fun out of it

marcbrophy

coolhull wrote: »

A weird one from a friend of a friend.

"Was tinkin las nite bout the stuf we deleet off a our fones. Texts, pitchers, fillums anal. Where do dey go? Dey mus go into space sum where, rite? Cud it be dat dats wots runing the climat?Yeers ago dey said it's de gas from our hare sprays and boddy sprais. Cud it may be be the sh1te weer deleetin off our fones n computers? Where do it end up onley in de clouds. It mus be harmful to the world, rite.

Class, discuss this theory among yourselves. Quietly.

Who said that we don't have philosophers in the modern era???

Kovu

Someone needs to show her this and tell her it's a documentary...

cowboyBuilder

coolhull wrote: »

A weird one from a friend of a friend.

"Was tinkin las nite bout the stuf we deleet off a our fones. Texts, pitchers, fillums anal. Where do dey go? Dey mus go into space sum where, rite? Cud it be dat dats wots runing the climat?Yeers ago dey said it's de gas from our hare sprays and boddy sprais. Cud it may be be the sh1te weer deleetin off our fones n computers? Where do it end up onley in de clouds. It mus be harmful to the world, rite.

Class, discuss this theory among yourselves. Quietly.

Congratulations! you win the internet.
Has to be from one of those "You ok Hun xxx" facebook type joke groups right ?? .... RIGHT ???

dub_skav

coolhull wrote: »

A weird one from a friend of a friend.

"Was tinkin las nite bout the stuf we deleet off a our fones. Texts, pitchers, fillums anal. Where do dey go? Dey mus go into space sum where, rite? Cud it be dat dats wots runing the climat?Yeers ago dey said it's de gas from our hare sprays and boddy sprais. Cud it may be be the sh1te weer deleetin off our fones n computers? Where do it end up onley in de clouds. It mus be harmful to the world, rite.

Class, discuss this theory among yourselves. Quietly.

You need to ask them what happens to stuff that they watch on Netflix

inforfun

Send that dope a box with 1's and 0's and add a note that it was last night's anal fillum he deleted.

fussyonion

"To everyone wonderin where ive been today an why ive been so queit well i was vissiously attacked today.yes attacked an my head is cut and hairs all falling out in clumps and ive scratches on my arms and shoulders. im not postin pics cos im in the garda station an im not replying to private messages on here cos im too upset.and i dont want to talk about it on facebook anyway so leave me be for the day."

"JESUS CHRIST DARLING ARE U ALRI"

"Fine darlin just shok up. comin round laura's later? if i ever needed a few drinks it tonite"

"YEH COURSE LOVE.I INVITE CARL ANAL"

"No dont ask tha muppe."

"IT WASNT HIM WHO DONE IT WAS IT?"

"No for f*** sake it was two smelly g**bags up in the square an i tell ya somethin the next time i see them and believe me i wont forget. wont forget the f***** smell of them anyway.they are gona wish they never clapped eyes on me. me and sabrina were sayin there gonna have to lock me in a stait jacket the rate il be goin. gona go up wait outside (>names shop and day<) an ho just they wait."

"U alright love? smelly g**bags wait til i get me hands on dem. so wat happened anyway?"

"I told u i dont want to talk abou it on facebook. come over lauras tonight."

coolhull

cowboyBuilder wrote: »

Congratulations! you win the internet.
Has to be from one of those "You ok Hun xxx" facebook type joke groups right ?? .... RIGHT ???

Ah, it'd be grand if it was, but it's a genuine post, and as far as I can tell, this girl is fairly normal otherwise. Though some people say that the normal ones are the ones to watch....

cowboyBuilder

fussyonion wrote: »

" blah blah blah attention seek attention seek attention seek attention seek .... im not replying to private messages on here cos im too upset.and i dont want to talk about it on facebook anyway so leave me be for the day."

more attention seeking in conversation ...
.
.
.

"I told u i dont want to talk abou it on facebook. come over lauras tonight."

If you don't wanna talk about it on FB, DON'T F*CKING POST IT ON YOUR FB WALL SO!

Big Nasty

fussyonion wrote: »

"To everyone wonderin where ive been today an why ive been so queit well i was vissiously attacked today.yes attacked an my head is cut and hairs all falling out in clumps and ive scratches on my arms and shoulders. im not postin pics cos im in the garda station an im not replying to private messages on here cos im too upset.and i dont want to talk about it on facebook anyway so leave me be for the day."

"JESUS CHRIST DARLING ARE U ALRI"

"Fine darlin just shok up. comin round laura's later? if i ever needed a few drinks it tonite"

"YEH COURSE LOVE.I INVITE CARL ANAL"

"No dont ask tha muppe."

"IT WASNT HIM WHO DONE IT WAS IT?"

"No for f*** sake it was two smelly g**bags up in the square an i tell ya somethin the next time i see them and believe me i wont forget. wont forget the f***** smell of them anyway.they are gona wish they never clapped eyes on me. me and sabrina were sayin there gonna have to lock me in a stait jacket the rate il be goin. gona go up wait outside (>names shop and day<) an ho just they wait."

"U alright love? smelly g**bags wait til i get me hands on dem. so wat happened anyway?"

"I told u i dont want to talk abou it on facebook. come over lauras tonight."

That's fookin gold!

Should screengrab it and blur the names. Would go viral very quickly!

kunst nugget

Saul T Nutzz wrote: »

Who the hell is Daley Wisdom?

It's a guy called Dale Partridge aha. He's what I'd call a positivity hipster. The type of dude that are constantly self congratulating themselves for being so great and constantly writing snappy articles teaching us how to be as great as them. Reading through his Facebook page, you'd swear nobody was a father before him. Absolute knob jockey.

That_Guy

fussyonion wrote: »

"YEH COURSE LOVE.I INVITE CARL ANAL"

Carl Anal... :pac:

Maximus Alexander

That_Guy wrote: »

Carl Anal... :pac:

I love the idea that having a get together and inviting Carl Anal is how this group of pals cheer each other up.

Captain Flaps

Michael D Not Higgins wrote: »

I've seen other versions of this as well, with one guy changing his first name to initials and the surname to a shortened version, e.g. Michael D Higgins -> MD Higs

That one guy isn't a recently qualified Dr who went to a rathgar secondary school is he by any chance? :P

Michael D Not Higgins

Captain Flaps wrote: »

That one guy isn't a recently qualified Dr who went to a rathgar secondary school is he by any chance? :P

Way off, this guy wasn't intelligent enough to be a doctor.

mickmackmcgoo

Work colleague had this on his Facebook feed posted by a relative.

So ya think your clever do ya.. one of the reasons I dumped you was cause your thick ! You sunk to a new low now hackin into my phone seein all my texts and photos. Well I found your email addresses an disabled so you won't see em anymore. Spose your gonna show the photos to the boys in whstsapp group?? Well I don't care i have a good body an not ashamed. Oh an don't worry bout showing them to micko or Andy cause I was riding them behind your back ha now leave me alone !!

Cue a reply of " ignore him hun your a great mother and have a body of a super model "

pc7

What's 'tee-ball'?

kunst nugget

pc7 wrote: »

What's 'tee-ball'?

That's what Americans call their testicles.

Mam of 4

failinis wrote: »

Just came up on my Facebook - I do think its sad about the girl but the comments are all "Amen" and "Jesus heal her" and you are looking at it .... its not going to cure her.

This came up on my daughters facebook also.. small world

Big Nasty

Mam of 4 wrote: »

This came up on my daughters facebook also.. small world

Where social media posts are concerned it's not small at all.

Not. At. All.

Mam of 4

Big Nasty wrote: »

Where social media posts are concerned it's not small at all.

Not. At. All.

True!! Typical me to post a statement like that :pac:

[Deleted User]

kunst nugget wrote: »

It's a guy called Dale Partridge aha. He's what I'd call a positivity hipster. The type of dude that are constantly self congratulating themselves for being so great and constantly writing snappy articles teaching us how to be as great as them. Reading through his Facebook page, you'd swear nobody was a father before him. Absolute knob jockey.

The Father Joe Briefly of Facebook??

Captain Flaps

Had to screenshot this as it had to be seen to be believed, but I've removed the personal info (including 20 vomit inducing hashtags)

I'm cringing so hard even reading it again now.

This is the most odious social network faux pas I can imagine.

Tasden

Captain Flaps wrote: »

Had to screenshot this as it had to be seen to be believed, but I've removed the personal info (including 20 vomit inducing hashtags)

I'm cringing so hard even reading it again now.

This is the most odious social network faux pas I can imagine.

You would be surprised. I was walking past a homeless person in dublin city centre who seemed to be having difficulty breathing and was a bit out of it moreso than the usual kind you see in town, I asked if he wanted me to call an ambulance etc and sat with him for a bit. Someone stopped and gawked at us and then took a photo of us and asked me my name for if i want to be.. im guessing tagged??.. on facebook!!

gutenberg

Friend of a friend posted a poem and a 'Happy Birthday to our special Angel in Heaven....I know it must be the most beautiful place because she is there....love and miss her so much, today and always xxx' for her deceased mother's birthday.

Ehh, I doubt the mother knows or cares...

Lady is a tramp

gutenberg wrote: »

Friend of a friend posted a poem and a 'Happy Birthday to our special Angel in Heaven....I know it must be the most beautiful place because she is there....love and miss her so much, today and always xxx' for her deceased mother's birthday.

Ehh, I doubt the mother knows or cares...

If you think that's bad, I recently saw someone put up a photo of herself and her siblings at her mum's funeral. All of them in black and (understandably) visibly distraught. And she tagged her mum's Facebook page in the post!

OK I understand grief does funny things to people, but seriously, how would it even occur to you to ask someone to take a photo of you for Facebook at a moment like that?