Hello, I'm in my forties and I've had my share of mental health issues in the past and don't really have much dating or relationship experience. I am in a much better place now though and mostly happy and content with my life.
About a month ago, I randomly met a woman at a party I was at. I wasn't looking for anyone. She basically made it really obvious that she wanted me to ask her out. She is attractive and seemed pleasant so I thought why not and see what happens.
As it turned out, she lives quite close to me and as I was walking home, I walked her home too and we did go into a pub and I bought her a drink. She was really touchy-feely and in a way that was more than just being friendly. We agreed to meet again a few days later for a walk in the park.
It went well and we did kiss. As it was getting dark, we went to a pub for a while and we agreed to meet again.
We met twice in the evenings during the week in a pub and I invited her around to my flat last Sunday and we spent the evening together. We did get intimate. She made a big deal about how we are officially a couple now and need to be making plans. I think it is far too soon and not really comfortable.
She also wants me to change how I dress and because I am bald and have been for many years, she's suggesting some sort of treatment that apparently makes hair grow back. I don't like any of this and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
I took her to the theatre during the week and we went for drinks afterwards and as always, she was making such obvious public displays of affection which I feel is a bit OTT.
She's asking when she can take me clothes shopping. I deliberately kept this weekend free so I can do my own thing and made excuses.
My gut instinct from the start was that something wasn't right. I'm not happy with her expecting us to be fully committed and making plans after only a few dates when we know little about each other. I'm not happy with her wanting me to buy a whole new wardrobe. Nobody else I ever tried to date wanted me to dress differently. I feel all the public displays of affection are just too much. Also, every time we went to pubs together, I've bought her drinks all the time. The first few times she had apologised that she'd left her purse at home, now she doesn't even make that excuse and will sit with empty glasses on the table until I give in and buy another round. Even after taking her to the theatre, since I supplied the tickets, I thought she might have bought the drinks at the interval but apparently no.
I've thought several times about ending it but always end up being won over by her flattery. Also because she's been telling everyone who will listen about how lovely I am and how lucky she is, I worry I will be seen as some sort of horrible ogre in my circle of friends if I end it.
It was initially fun and I was flattered but I have serious doubts about this and my gut instinct is to end it immediately, or am I overthinking?
