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Senior officer - married - sexual misconduct

rapid_velocity23

My sister-in-law has a cheating husband who is an officer in the defence forces. The other party is not a member of the defence forces. I have not told her yet. That aside. Are there regs in the defence forces regarding conduct in personal life that would jeopardise security of their job performance - think Commandant level. Surely there are?

And if so - to who do you raise a security risk like this? What happens with breaches like this?

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Larbre34

No there are not. Because on the face of it, what you report is going on, is not illegal in civil or military law. And I'm dying to know in what context you believe it creates a security risk. He's not a secret agent, presumably!

Now, I'm not saying I agree with what he's doing, but I would say this:

A) This is none of your business. This is two adults behaving in a way they choose to behave, that is not illegal.

B) If you decide to make it your business and if it occurs to you to try and damage his military career by spreading information irrelevant to his military career, out of spite, be prepared to face very serious legal consequences for potential reputational damage and loss of potential earnings. He would nail you to the wall, figuratively speaking.

Have you any idea how dangerous it is calling something sexual "misconduct", that clearly is no sort of sexual assault or crime? I mean it's so reckless of you its incredible.

Probably best not to mention it again.

rapid_velocity23

Its a security risk because this person has created a vulnerability for themselves. It doesnt matter what job they hold. I have personally seen an individual sign a multimillion GBP contract after having been wined and dined to excess. So there is a security risk. If they were a security patrol and this person was forced to reveal the location of checkpoints or position of personnel - thats a valid case that could happen.

Its actually everyones business. Heres why. Its about trust. Each and every one of us rely on the person next to us being truthful, honest and to do what they say they will and to be loyal when they say they are loyal. This person took vows when they got married. So when they throw those away for themselves and worse, throw another marriage into the flames along with it - the other affair partner is also married - it burns two marriages. Both families have kids.

Theres no danger in calling it misconduct. Its exactly what it is - they made a promise before family and god when they got married -- even reduce that to a social contract. And they have broken that. Broken their word. Broken their committments. All of those things are misconduct.

Its actually best to cc all 4 of them. That theres nothing left in the shadows. No one has lies left to protect. Theres nothing to fear from truth. If anything it'll level the playing field and they can each decide whats best for them. What he's not going to do is to treat his wife this way and hide it.

You are correct and I agree its not illegal. Though I have yet to be in an organisation whose contract language doesnt lean into "actions that bring the institute into disrepute" - And I've seen people forced into resignations for similar behaviour. So theres that. I appreciate your steer - but with a familial interest in this - inaction is wrong.

TheW1zard

Why do you care?

rapid_velocity23

Sister-in-law

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118843260#Comment_118843260

Section 168 says otherwise.

wildwillow

It really is none of your business. They are adults and your sister in law may be well aware of the situation and doesn't need your input.

As for security, I doubt that it has any implication for our military forces.

Kimbot

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118847019#Comment_118847019

Because this man has the launch codes.......

rapid_velocity23

whats Section 168????

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118847146#Comment_118847146

Conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline. Doesn't matter though, no one in the Defence Forces wil give two shites.

rapid_velocity23

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118847146#Comment_118847146

Read that - and agree. Sounds to be the “good behaviour” conditions of employment.

CreadanLady

I think you should cc the 4 of them and guys CO in that email you are on about. CC the busiest busy body on their residents association too.

Make sure to come back and let us know how it goes.

Witcher

Thread has to be a windup.

[Deleted User]

Whats the name of this movie?

CreadanLady

Maybe you should get on to him and say to him "look, I'll say nothing to your CO or missus if you gimmie a go and let me service your beour as well".

Provided she's a hottie of course.

Notmything

Assuming this is not a windup or trolling if the DF were to take action against all the personnel who are "playing away from home" they'll never get any other work done.

Tell your sister in law or don't tell her, that's your choice. Reality is noone will give a fcuk about hubby's job.

virginmediapls

Yo,

rapid velocity - stop being mean

Cheers.

CreadanLady

It is the DF so the reality is, like any military, when they are on deployment somewhere the chances are they are doing a bit of covering on the side. Especially likely since a lot of them would be uniformed alphas so they would have plenty opportunity while off duty.

Now look, in reality this is none of yours nor none of the DF's business. Anyone drilling around outside of their marriage is not the business of their employer. You can't sack someone for riding.

ShamanRing

It is indeed some sort of risk. This officer is now potentially suitable to be blackmailed.

Having said that, I think DF would be more shocked that officers aren’t banging all and sundry.

CreadanLady

I think OP needs to relax about the whole security and blackmail risk, revealing locations of checkpoints.

FFS, this is the Irish DF, not a Tom Clancy novel.

Maybe he will be blackmailed to reveal the locations of the stock of sandbags for use during floods. Or blackmailed to reveal how much diesel they pilfer out of army vehicles for their own use.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118847057#Comment_118847057

Imagine if he had the 'lunch' codes......... ole put in wouldn't be long backing off then🤣

Methinks the OP is either trolling or has watched too much Jason Bourne over the weekend

zg3409

What do you expect to happen when you report them? If they lose their job then what? Will.employer stop the cheating? It sounds like you would like to get them in hot water, reality is you may be laughed at.

If you intend telling person's wife then that's a totally different matter and would need very careful consideration. Personally I would not get involved, it's likely lots of people including wife may be somewhat aware of acts or person's reputation.

Larbre34

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118847175#Comment_118847175

Having an private affair with a woman, not a member of the DF, could never in a million years be construed as conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline.

It'd be like charging him under that provision for being a vegetarian or being fond of scuba-diving, a total nonsense notion concerning personal choice around an issue that is not an offence.

To the OP again, if you push this, it will end worse for you than it will for the Officer.

Signore Fancy Pants

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118848628#Comment_118848628

People have been charged with a 168 from issues relating to civvy street.

It highly depends on the context. People have indeed been blackmailed into providing information to a third party.

To be honest, in cases where it has been exposed, it usually ends up worse for the blackmailer.

In this case, with absolutely zero context, the DF won't give a fcuk, unless he's banging the likes of a wife of a criminal etc.

If its just some Gen Pop aul one, the DF wont care, its a civil matter.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058239117/senior-officer-married-sexual-misconduct

Condoms are pretty safe...

CreadanLady

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118880727#Comment_118880727

Its not even a civil matter. Having an affair is not illegal.

Signore Fancy Pants

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118882672#Comment_118882672

Its a civil matter in the sense that its not a military matter.

Manic Moran

Tell her or not, depends on the level of proof.

However, I do think it’s the sort of behavior which shouldn’t be tolerated by a professional military. If the man can’t be trusted by his wife, how is he going to be trusted by his subordinates and colleagues?

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118847146#Comment_118847146

The one in the middle of section 167 and 169

[Deleted User]

Does anyone else think that a lot of on boards these days are made up by bots or soemthing?

Heart Break Kid

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118847023#Comment_118847023

If you care enough, tell your sister in law, if not, mind your own business and no, sexual relations with non members of the defense forces is not a security risk.