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What's your ultimate age limit (upper&lower!) when dating?

Vela

What age+gender are you and what's your ultimate age limit when it comes to dating someone older or younger?

I'm a 32 yr old woman and I reckon 28-46 is my limit. When I was younger I always dated guys a lot older than me and still tend to go for older, but I find I'm more open to guys my age or a bit younger now since that means they're at least late 20s. Although, I was getting messages from 23/24 year olds until I sorted out my dating app settings :rolleyes:

My younger sister is early-20s but always dates older (wonder where she got that from:pac:), so we've ended up overlapping on Tinder matches etc. and having to check with each other on who we're talking to. That's been a bit of a strange feeling, to say the least!

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Plopsu

Vela wrote: »

Oh, I gave up on that long ago.

Gas-lighting drama queens often come with a penis attached. And it takes a lot of time and experience to see that they'll simply never change. Or be "fixable".

You can't fix someone who doesn't have the self awareness to realise what they need to work on.

They're equally likely to come with a vagina attached but you're a lot less likely to encounter them romantically (I'm assuming you're a straight woman).

SusieBlue

I'd be reluctant to go more than 1 year younger, but my upper limit would be maybe...40? I'm 27, maybe its the circles I move in but I find guys my age and younger to be very immature and not wanting to settle down.
I know that it wouldn't apply to all men that age but unfortunately all the ones I seem to meet are that way inclined.
My ideal age bracket would be 30-34.

Deebles McBeebles

Fairly open I think. I'm 35, would go down to 25 at a push. As long as she doesn't have her phone permanently attached to her face, that's a deal breaker for me.

Upper limit around 40 I guess but then I've mainly had experience with the younger ladies so maybe some 50 year old could change my opinion on that.

PHG

Would go down to 27 max and upper of 33.

I am 31, but a lot of it is about the emotional maturity and having/in the process of having your sh*t together. Also, they need to enjoy the company of their family. I get on really well with both sides of mine and it means a lot that they would too*.

*Obviously there is at least one crazy on each side and if you don't know who it is, then it is you!!

[Deleted User]

SusieBlue wrote: »

I'd be reluctant to go more than 1 year younger, but my upper limit would be maybe...40? I'm 27, maybe its the circles I move in but I find guys my age and younger to be very immature and not wanting to settle down.
I know that it wouldn't apply to all men that age but unfortunately all the ones I seem to meet are that way inclined.
My ideal age bracket would be 30-34.

I never thought I'd go out with a guy younger than me, but my OH is almost five years younger. He was late twenties and I was early thirties when we got together. Three years later everything is great, it is by far the best relationship I've been in and he's much more mature than my ex (who was three years older than me). It totally depends on the person.

I have noticed there's still a stigma about women going out with younger men, even if it's only a few years. I got negative comments from some of my friends, whereas if I was with a man five years older they wouldn't have batted an eyelid. Since meeting and getting to know my OH they changed their tune though. In fact, one friend who swore she'd never go out with a younger man is now in a relationship with someone four years younger.

Woke Hogan

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Late fifties/early sixties man thinks he deserves a 30-year-old woman (who has her pick of pretty much everyone) but won't date someone a year older than himself. Funny.

Thirty is only as low as I would go. I would happily date a 40-45 year old woman as well.

lainey_d_123

Flying Fox wrote: »

I never thought I'd go out with a guy younger than me, but my OH is almost five years younger. He was late twenties and I was early thirties when we got together. Three years later everything is great, it is by far the best relationship I've been in and he's much more mature than my ex (who was three years older than me). It totally depends on the person.

I have noticed there's still a stigma about women going out with younger men, even if it's only a few years. I got negative comments from some of my friends, whereas if I was with a man five years older they wouldn't have batted an eyelid. Since meeting and getting to know my OH they changed their tune though. In fact, one friend who swore she'd never go out with a younger man is now in a relationship with someone four years younger.

In Ireland there is. I find the Irish incredibly small minded about this kind of thing. I've lived in France and nobody there would have batted an eyelid at a man dating a woman five years older than himself. Sure look at Macron and his missus.

lainey_d_123

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Thirty is only as low as I would go. I would happily date a 40-45 year old woman as well.

I'm sure you would, but why would they date you? You'd still be nearly old enough to be their father. Lots of 40-year-old women still look fantastic, are in great shape and on Tinder etc. Why would they date an (almost) pensioner?

Woke Hogan

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I'm sure you would, but why would they date you? You'd still be nearly old enough to be their father. Lots of 40-year-old women still look fantastic, are in great shape and on Tinder etc. Why would they date an (almost) pensioner?

Because they find me attractive? Who knows. You can hardly blame me for finding women older than me unattractive. My wife isn't much younger than myself but she is still as beautiful as the day we married. Luckily for me.

SkeletonKiss

Worship Baal wrote: »

Bitter, bitter roastie.

Found the incel! What do I win?

Ultimate Seduction

Between 18 - 65.

Dial Hard

cannotlogin wrote: »

I dated a 27 year old when I was 17 & doing my Leaving Cert - didn't see anything wrong with it at the time but looking back it was all kinds of wrong but of course I wouldn't listen to anyone who said that at the time.

Similar here, I was 16 and he was 22 when we started going out and we lasted almost three years til I realised what a controlling, manipulative bollix he was. My mother LOATHED him but she knew that trying to stop me seeing him would just push me further towards him, me being a headstrong little so-and-so who thought I knew better than everyone else. So she chose to bide her time, but god, it must have been difficult.

We broke up over 18 years ago but to this day I can't hear his name without cringing. I generally choose to believe I was abducted by aliens for those three years.

Ugh, gagging just thinking about him. He was a disgusting creature both physically and personality-wise. I have absolutely NO idea what I was thinking.

chrissb8

Vela wrote: »

Yeah, I get that completely. When I was a teenager, my boyfriend was in his 20s because I was definitely more emotionally mature than most 16-year-olds. But it's mainly been my experience that men mature a bit later than women, so they're playing catchup until around 27 when it starts to level out. I think that's why I'd be more open to dating someone a bit younger now, whereas I wouldn't have considered it at all a few years ago.

Your boyfriend was a paedophille then. More "emotionally mature"....right. At 16? What made you so mature at 16? The fact you were with some weirdo who got with a girl who was just about out of childhood. That's not mature that's just freaking ominous. Any guy who can't get a girl within his age group give or take a couple of years and has to go after 16 year olds is a major red flag.

Marcus Rashford

Ephebophile is the correct term.

He had issues, but it’s neither accurate nor fair to bracket someone who’s attracted to sexually mature teenage girls with someone who’s attracted to children.

Reviews and Books Galore

Flying Fox wrote: »

I never thought I'd go out with a guy younger than me, but my OH is almost five years younger. He was late twenties and I was early thirties when we got together. Three years later everything is great, it is by far the best relationship I've been in and he's much more mature than my ex (who was three years older than me). It totally depends on the person.

I have noticed there's still a stigma about women going out with younger men, even if it's only a few years. I got negative comments from some of my friends, whereas if I was with a man five years older they wouldn't have batted an eyelid. Since meeting and getting to know my OH they changed their tune though. In fact, one friend who swore she'd never go out with a younger man is now in a relationship with someone four years younger.

In fairness, I haven't heard an older woman and younger man called exploitive or taking advantage.

I honestly don't see age gaps as that big if a deal. People have different needs and sometimes an age difference can meet that need. The only danger is that the higher the age difference the more probability that those needs will change.

Lorelli!

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

In fairness, I haven't heard an older woman and younger man called exploitive or taking advantage.

I honestly don't see age gaps as that big if a deal. People have different needs and sometimes an age difference can meet that need. The only danger is that the higher the age difference the more probability that those needs will change.

It depends on the age at the time I think like an 18 year old and a 25 year old is quite different than a 35 year old and 28.

I knew a woman who must have been around 35 at the time and was seeing a guy who was 19. His family weren't happy and her kids weren't happy about it. They did seem happy though but they got a lot of stick for the relationship and weren't taken seriously. It lasted about 4 years.

Dalomanakora

I'm 30, female.

I'd probably only be willing to date someone one or two years younger, so an absolute hard limit at 28. Oldest I'd go? Unsure. Maybe 40-ish.

lainey_d_123

Vela wrote: »

Yeah, I get that completely. When I was a teenager, my boyfriend was in his 20s because I was definitely more emotionally mature than most 16-year-olds. But it's mainly been my experience that men mature a bit later than women, so they're playing catchup until around 27 when it starts to level out. I think that's why I'd be more open to dating someone a bit younger now, whereas I wouldn't have considered it at all a few years ago.

That's the oldest line in the book for creepy men who go after naive teenagers. absolutely no normal 20-something man should be dating a child.

EmmetSpiceland

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

In fairness, I haven't heard an older woman and younger man called exploitive or taking advantage.

There’s been stories covered on shows regarding older British, and possibly Irish, women going over to places like Cyprus, Turkey and other such places specifically to hookup with young men.

The women get to have some fun and attention while the young men hope for marriage and a better life or they just enjoy getting showered with gifts.

Undividual

The age of consent.

Undividual

Deleted User wrote: »

Emotional maturity is the clincher for me, whether she be 27 or 37.

Same, whether she be 17 or 17 and a half.

Emme

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The women get to have some fun and attention while the young men hope for marriage and a better life or they just enjoy getting showered with gifts.

It's the same thing as older white men going to places in the Far East and scoring much younger women.

EmmetSpiceland

Emme wrote: »

It's the same thing as older white men going to places in the Far East and scoring much younger women.

No, I wouldn’t agree with that. This is consenting adults, not the underage sex tourism that goes on further afield.

Reviews and Books Galore

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

No, I wouldn’t agree with that. This is consenting adults, not the underage sex tourism that goes on further afield.

I think she was talking about the non child sex tourism. Edit: Which, in fairness, is the vast majority.

I know men who complain about the women back home and date foreign women. Funnilly enough, they put up with abhorrent behaviour as the other woman will always be worse in their minds:P

Vela

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

That's the oldest line in the book for creepy men who go after naive teenagers. absolutely no normal 20-something man should be dating a child.

I wasn't naive at all at 16. I was living independently a year later. I also grew up very independently as my parents were very unfit, to say the least, and matured a lot earlier as a result.

I also wasn't sleeping with him until I was 19. We lived together for 2 years also after that. So ease up on referring to someone I had a 5 year relationship with as a creep please.

Skeleton Key

Vela wrote: »

I wasn't naive at all at 16. I was living independently a year later. I also grew up very independently as my parents were very unfit, to say the least, and matured a lot earlier as a result.

I also wasn't sleeping with him until I was 19. We lived together for 2 years also after that. So ease up on referring to someone I had a 5 year relationship with as a creep please.

Best to ignore Lainey, she has serious issues around men.

Last year, when I was 30, I had a brief sexual relationship with a 19 year old girl. Lainey no doubt considers that creepy.

lainey_d_123

Vela wrote: »

I wasn't naive at all at 16. I was living independently a year later. I also grew up very independently as my parents were very unfit, to say the least, and matured a lot earlier as a result.

I also wasn't sleeping with him until I was 19. We lived together for 2 years also after that. So ease up on referring to someone I had a 5 year relationship with as a creep please.

It is the oldest line in the book though, and a cliche. And to hear that your parents were unfit makes it even worse. I've spent years working with teenagers and have yet to meet any 16-year-old remotely mature enough to be having a relationship with a 20-something adult. 99% of the time in these cases, the adult has some serious issues preventing them having relationships with people their own age and go after younger people because the age gap gives them the upper hand. Maybe you genuinely clicked with the guy and he was genuinely decent and didn't chase you/know your age at first, but in the vast, vast majority of cases, it's predatory and creepy and ends very badly.

lainey_d_123

Skeleton Key wrote: »

Best to ignore Lainey, she has serious issues around men.

Last year, when I was 30, I had a brief sexual relationship with a 19 year old girl. Lainey no doubt considers that creepy.

Yes, it is creepy. But at least she wasn't a minor.

ginandtonicsky

Skeleton Key wrote: »

Best to ignore Lainey, she has serious issues around men.

Last year, when I was 30, I had a brief sexual relationship with a 19 year old girl. Lainey no doubt considers that creepy.

Pretty creepy tbh

Skeleton Key

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Yes, it is creepy. But at least she wasn't a minor.

Only creepy in your little world.