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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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Charizard

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Still no

PopePalpatine

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

The only "theory" you've proved there is that you're still bitter about your ex.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Smondie

People who use thier own made up version of pidgin English and abrevations.

Dy mk8 me lol.

you're over 30 pick up a dictionary.

NufcNavan

Smondie wrote: »

People who use thier own made up version of pidgin English and abrevations.

Dy mk8 me lol.

you're over 30 pick up a dictionary.

I know of English teachers who text like this. Embarrassing.

Esel

Smondie wrote: »

People who use thier own made up version of pidgin English and abrevations.

Dy mk8 me lol.

you're over 30 pick up a dictionary.

Say what?

Smondie

Attenchion seeking idiots who try to dox people. I never laughed so hard when the idiot was told to get ****ed with themselves by other posters.

readyletsgo

Smondie wrote: »

Dy mk8 me lol.

.

Die Mario Kart 8 me?

MeatTwoVeg

Smondie wrote:

Attenchion seeking idiots who try to dox people.

Hate doxers.

Smondie

MeatTwoVeg wrote: »

Smondie wrote:

Attenchion seeking idiots who try to dox people.

Hate doxers.

Throwing thier toys out of the pram because someone disagreed with them.

I can imagine the therapy sessions. Show us on the keyboard where smondie touched you.

PopePalpatine

readyletsgo wrote: »

Die Mario Kart 8 me?

No, it looks more like "dye Mortal Kombat 8 me".

Robsweezie

When they only own up to a lie/mistake because they know they're about to be caught.

fryup

when they don't make eye contact with you when you're talking to them, i find that very rude

irish bloke

fryup wrote: »

when they don't make eye contact with you when you're talking to them, i find that very rude

Hardly a sign of a wanker now is it?

They could just be shy/nervous disposition etc...

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

no, i know the difference..its in the body language..shy people usually smile and nod while you're talking to them

whereas **** usually look away with an arrogant/dismissive look on their face

D3V!L

fryup wrote: »

when they don't make eye contact with you when you're talking to them, i find that very rude

I know someone that does that in work, I dont trust them one bit.

PaddyWilliams

ger vallely wrote: »

I have been loading my weekly shop when I've had people behind me 'tut tutting' and sighing heavily as they've stomped off. Only as they are in the process of this have I realised they are carrying only an item or two. They make me feel bad for not noticing! Seriously, if I notice then I guess I would let someone go ahead but if I don't well then it's not my problem. Seriously, if they ask politely and I am in some sort of apocalyptic hurry I will politely explain but usually it's no bother. I would never blame anyone for manners, that'd be wankerish. But don't get the hump because I am checking that my eggs don't get squashed by my potatoes instead of checking how many items you have in your basket.

I'm all for letting people go ahead if they have only one or two items, but if they start tutting or sighing, they can fúck right off.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

PaddyWilliams

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

People who eat when they're in the middle of a phone conversation. It's ignorant and revolting!!

I know a fella who constantly clears his throat while on the phone to people.. Big, long, ignorant, growly clearing. Wanker.

PaddyWilliams

People who refuse to call out numbers as they are e.g. 7, 9 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 7, but have to go 79, 34, 57 instead, or worse 'eh, 793, 457'. I don't know why, it just irritates the **** out of me. Grrr

ohnonotgmail

They think that making quips about concentration camps to a jewish person is perfectly fine and dandy.

[Deleted User]

Absolutely and unequivocally the people who use the words "dictators", "dictatorship", "diktats", "imposed", "nanny state" and so on to describe the EU and its actions, while also making comparisons between the Third Reich and the EU, top any wankerwatch list.

N365

People who answer every question by starting with the word "So". Facking grinds my facking gears.****.

Esel

N365 wrote: »

People who answer every question by starting with the word "So". Facking grinds my facking gears.****.

Or those who make every statement sound like a question by inflecting up at the end?

Like I just did?

Robsweezie

Haggling aggressively in charity shops.

Esel

Robsweezie wrote: »

Haggling aggressively in charity shops.

Haggling at all in charity shops.

Shoplifting in charity shops.

Brendan Bendar

Posters who sign off every post with their name, every post !.

C'mon.

5rtytry56

Either gender wearing an animal's tail (these can be got in joke shops etc) out their rear end outdoors. Even it's a party. Indication that you are self centred attention seeking douch.

Robsweezie

ordering extra portions of food when they're not the ones paying. in other words, its okay to take the piss cause its someone elses money. you'd think that because of that fact, they'd be a bit more modest.

N365

The overuse of the words "physicality"and "intensity" by GAA commentators. It's time for new words lads.