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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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taytobreath

other people with shopping trolleys that are in a world of their own.....get out of my fukin way!!!

s8n

retalivity wrote: »

bigpink wrote: »

That "Bro " look guys thats only work upper body backwards cap tight shorts tough guy but looks gay look

Anyone over the age of 12 wearing a baseball cap deserves a slap in the face. 2 slaps if it is on backwards

I'm a well known style icon here on boards and have an assortment of baseball caps which I occasionally wear backwards.

Bet you wish you could retract that statement now

biko

Pink polo shirt wearers, particularly if collar is turned up

D3V!L

Guys in blue suits with tan shoes, its like a f*cking uniform !! :rolleyes:

Usually accompanied with a smug look.

EagererBeaver

D3V!L wrote: »

Guys in blue suits with tan shoes, its like a f*cking uniform !! :rolleyes:

Usually accompanied with a smug look.

If you work in a ****e menswear shop.

Aongus Von Bismarck

I've spent the last 10 days playing golf in Ireland on some of its signature courses. The amount of people who don't repair divots or pitch marks is shocking. These people should be named and shamed and not allowed back on the course until they've completed a comprehensive course on golf etiquette.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I've spent the last 10 days playing golf in Ireland on some of its signature courses. The amount of people who don't repair divots or pitch marks is shocking. These people should be named and shamed and not allowed back on the course until they've completed a comprehensive course on golf etiquette.

Saw a lad playing in bootcut jeans on my home course last Sunday.

Pinch Flat

biko wrote: »

Pink polo shirt wearers, particularly if collar is turned up

Usually accompanied by a pint of Heino in hand and wearing deck shoes, to complete the w@nker look

cbreeze

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I've spent the last 10 days playing golf in Ireland on some of its signature courses. The amount of people who don't repair divots or pitch marks is shocking. These people should be named and shamed and not allowed back on the course until they've completed a comprehensive course on golf etiquette.

if you are lucky enough to play the Master's course in Augusta, your caddie has a bag of soil and he fills in your divots:), I was at a funeral afters in Castleknock GC and they had bags of earth for golfers to take with them to fill in their marks

Easy Rod

bigpink wrote: »

That "Bro " look guys thats only work upper body backwards cap tight shorts tough guy but looks gay look

People who still use 'gay' as an insult.

D3V!L

Easy Rod wrote: »

People who still use 'gay' as an insult.

Yes , yes they do.

When they're 12. :rolleyes:

Aongus Von Bismarck

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Saw a lad playing in bootcut jeans on my home course last Sunday.

Disgraceful! Where was the course warden?

5rtytry56

At any sort of reunion somebody with that snarky complexion and whose sole topic of conversation is degoratory comments about other past pupils flaws and failings.

peckdunn

If you don't have simple manners; holding a door open for a lady, child, next person. Not saying thank you when someone/anyone does something for them.

Just generally being aware that there are other people in the world and not just them.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Kintarō Hattori

D3V!L wrote: »

Guys in blue suits with tan shoes, its like a f*cking uniform !! :rolleyes:

Usually accompanied with a smug look.

*Looks down at feet...*

I don't have a smug look on my face though 😐

HensVassal

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

*Looks down at feet...*

I don't have a smug look on my face though 😐

You're only 80% of a wanker then.

KikiDee

Post on Facebook: F*ck the world, etc, etc,
Friend: What's up?
Reply back: I'll PM you babes

Wanker

s8n

KikiDee wrote: »

Post on Facebook: F*ck the world, etc, etc,
Friend: What's up?
Reply back: I'll PM you babes

Wanker

R u ok Hun ?

fryup

For ever odd wrote: »

Is there a female equivalent to the word 'wanker '? I mean you hardly ever hear of a woman been called a wanker.

thats a good question, can a woman be referred to as a wanker??

Arghus

That they are still there arguing, after a thread has reached 300+ replies and all their posts are prefaced with a large multiquote.

mosesgun

People in restaurants who sneeze loudly into their tissues, look at the contents of the tissue and go again. Christ, I'm eating my diinner, you wanker.

People who use Facebook to check into hospitals without any explanation purely as an attention seeking exercise. You ok Hun? Hope all ok Cuz? (thats another annoying phrase) Grrrr!!!!

People who say "Pardy" instead of "Party". F*ck that for a game of soldiers.

Dublin GAA fans who try to out Dublin each other!!! Ah jaysus, I'd only ever be in the Hill, I couldn't sit in a bleedin' seat in Croker. Full of bandwagon jumpers' You don't see them lads here at a league match in february. Summertime fans blah blah

Country lads that wear cowboy hats at GAA matches! Galway lads are particularly fond of this. Big 10 gallon hat right on front of you and you trying to watch the match.

Don't get me started.....

Brendan Bendar

mosesgun wrote: »

People in restaurants who sneeze loudly into their tissues, look at the contents of the tissue and go again. Christ, I'm eating my diinner, you wanker.

People who use Facebook to check into hospitals without any explanation purely as an attention seeking exercise. You ok Hun? Hope all ok Cuz? (thats another annoying phrase) Grrrr!!!!

People who say "Pardy" instead of "Party". F*ck that for a game of soldiers.

Dublin GAA fans who try to out Dublin each other!!! Ah jaysus, I'd only ever be in the Hill, I couldn't sit in a bleedin' seat in Croker. Full of bandwagon jumpers' You don't see them lads here at a league match in february. Summertime fans blah blah

Country lads that wear cowboy hats at GAA matches! Galway lads are particularly fond of this. Big 10 gallon hat right on front of you and you trying to watch the match.

Don't get me started.....

:eek:

Ticked a lot of boxes there Moses......

Ps weren't you Bumpy Jonas in Shaft??

Grayson

mosesgun wrote: »

People in restaurants who sneeze loudly into their tissues, look at the contents of the tissue and go again. Christ, I'm eating my diinner, you wanker.

I have horrible allergies. I also have an upper rhinital malformation which means my sneezes can be loud. I'm probably that guy you're annoyed with.

5rtytry56

Grayson wrote: »

I have horrible allergies. I also have an upper rhinital malformation which means my sneezes can be loud. I'm probably that guy you're annoyed with.

Attend to your aching adenoids so sir, and don't mind about us.

mosesgun

Grayson wrote: »

I have horrible allergies. I also have an upper rhinital malformation which means my sneezes can be loud. I'm probably that guy you're annoyed with.

It's not necessarily the volume that I take exception to its more the location. However you sound like you've plenty of issues so I'll let you off

Hesh's Umpire

People who seem almost surprised to be asked for money at the supermarket checkout, dig out the wallet, root out the card/cash, start handing in vouchers etc. etc. etc.
Have all that **** ready.

cazzer22

I know a girl who will always disagree with anything other people recommend. I might say ''Oh, I went to this place in Stillorgan and it was so lovely, you should definitely check it out.''. ''Oh I was there before and thought it was awful''. I get everyone is entitled to their opinion but this happens with EVERYTHING. From movies, restaurants, shops, cities in Europe. It's almost like she's making a conscious effort to be contrary.

Means Of Escape

That_Guy wrote: »

People who light up a cigarette at a sporting event. Inconsiderate wankerish behaviour on every level.

Serge Blanco would disagree

Smondie

Greedy people, who accuse everyone else of money grabbing and try and shut down any conversation about what thier competitors charge, because thier competitors are cheaper.