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Comments required on these lyrics please

  • 17-09-2013 9:44am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭


    Hi, I`d appreciate any comments on these lyrics which ive put together. Im going to put them to slowish Irish beat, Maybe a foxtrot. Any suggestions/comments appreciated.


    Just A Dream To Me:


    It`s a long long way from Ireland here to Denver
    And I sure miss green fields round Ardboe
    They say that absense makes the heart grow fonder
    Well I tell now that what they say is true
    At night I dream the old home and the mountains
    And I still see the soft atlantic hue



    Well the years have simply dissappeared
    And my hair has turned to grey
    Oh how I rue the hour and day I left to roam
    Are things back there the same today
    I wanna go back home
    Oh but its so far across the sea
    It`s just a dream to me



    I remember grandma knittin by the window
    And Mamas cookin` always smelt so good
    The old road and the oak tree in the meadow
    With daddy in the back yard cuttin` wood
    Everything back then just seemed so simple
    I guess nothing`s ever meant to stay the same



    Well the years have simply dissappeared
    And my hair has turned to grey
    Oh how I rue the hour and day I left to roam
    Are things back there the same today
    I wanna to go back home
    Oh but its so far across the sea
    It`s just a dream to me


Comments

  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 2,147 Mod ✭✭✭✭Oink


    Not exactly my cuppatae, and I could certainly try and pick holes in it, but the more I look at it, the more I think it does its job :).

    It's not Yeats or Wordsworth, but at the same time if you were to sing that in between two other well-known songs, it wouldn't necessarily be the worse. And I do mean that as a real compliment! Good job...

    I think the crucial part is going to be the delivery. For example "From Clare to Here" as good lyrics, but when they added that well-crafted tune to it, it just took off. That's going to make or break the tune...

    Good luck with that, and keep us posted. I wouldn't a pm if you ever put it on soundcloud or something.


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