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Overreaction?

LegacyUser

The other day myself and the gf were lying in bed when i asked her for a back masage because my back was killing me (mainly from pleasuring her for hours), her responce was no way, so i persisted and said it was only fair cause of what id been doing for her all morning, in the end no masage

next day i went out and got a masage and i felt great after it, that night we were out, myself the gf her friend and friends boyfriend, two girls were chatting and i was chatting to the boyfriend who said i was sitting very straight and i told him about the masage, he asked how was it and i said i felt unbelivable which was the only part the gf cought and asked what was unbelivable, so i told her the masage i got today, of course she got the hump

one week later shes still in a huff and refused to go out with me at all this week end, went out with her friends instead

i no what she wants, an apology, the old your right im wrong wont do it again bs, lets go for dinner heres some flowers blah blah blah

this time though i dont think its deserved, i think i did nothing wrong, i want a masage, she couldnt be bothered to give me one so i went out and got one myself

anyone have any advice for me on it?

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Wagon

Your back was hurting you - you went to get a massage.

Seems perfectly reasonable to me. How can your girlfriend possibly require an apology because you relieved some pain?

Does she always go on like this?

christ on a bike!

I wouldn't engage in the usual apologies for the sake of peace when you haven't actually done anything wrong, as can often happen in a relationship.

I'd be rightly pissed off, write her an e-mail, text or leave a voicemail and tell her straight that your back was killing you, she wouldn't massage it so you had to get someone to do it as she wouldn't help you out. If she doesn't like this then she should help you out next time when you have a very reasonable request.

really, you should stand your ground on this one imo

seenitall

Your gf is a spoilt, entitled little madam. Women like her give women a bad name, unfortunately.

Aside from the fact you have absolutely nothing to apologise for, I will be honest and say that no way would I stand for being treated the way she is treating you, I'd be outta there in a flash. But then, I have had my share of dealing with (male) self-centered, immature drama queens, and so I know that some people have to experience it in order to learn never to go back there. I hope you will be one of them.

SheRa

oldmanback wrote: »

so i persisted and said it was only fair cause of what id been doing for her all morning, in the end no masage

What you said above struck me. If your back was sore, grand, stop pleasuring her, but to say that she should give you a message because its sore from you pleasuring her, sounds a bit manipulative on your part, and perhaps she heard it as a complaint that you were sick of pleasuring her?

Now either way her reaction is way OTT, I have absolutely no time for sulking, its pathetic and immature. But Im just suggesting what might be going through her head, and maybe she thought you mentioned the above to her friends boyf, who knows?

Why dont you ask her why it bothered her so much?

iguana

What sort of massage did you go for? While obviously most masseuses are on the level there are certain 'massage parlours' that are fronts for brothels. Your gf could have the idea that you went for a massage for sexual reasons, especially as you were equating getting a massage from her with sexual pleasures you had given her.

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies, im going to give her a few days to cool off then ill talk to her about it, will not be apologising though,
the masage parlor was legit, she knows im compleatly against prostitution and strip clubs and all that, she knows id never go for that sort of thing

Asphyxia

Wagon wrote: »

Your back was hurting you - you went to get a massage.

Seems perfectly reasonable to me. How can your girlfriend possibly require an apology because you relieved some pain? Does she always go on like this?

+ 1 on this. She doesn't really have a reason to be mad unless you never told her you were getting a massage. I think I would feel a bit funny aswell especially if it was a woman giving it to him, but I wouldn't start sulking about it, maybe you should just have a chat with her about it and see why she's angry.

DamoKen

Pocketfizz wrote: »

+ 1 on this. She doesn't really have a reason to be mad unless you never told her you were getting a massage. I think I would feel a bit funny aswell especially if it was a woman giving it to him, but I wouldn't start sulking about it, maybe you should just have a chat with her about it and see why she's angry.

what if he went to a doctor for an examination and the doctor was female? would you feel funny about that too? Not having a go, just curious.

Strikes me as a weird attitude and not really trustful. The guy had back pain, his girlfriend knew but didn't want to give him a massage so he went and paid for a massage but he should have got her permission first???

miec

Hi Op

You are in the right in this situation, she did not have to give you a massage which is fair enough but you equally have the right to get a massage elsewhere and it is her problem. The fact that she is blanking you and ignoring you is worrying and shows a distinct lack of respect for you.

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