Plans for World Domination- post them here.

The Beer Baron

The lottery thread sorta put me on this way of thinking.
Everyone was on about giving their money to charity and children and their family and all this other crap- and here was me rabbiting on about buying tanks and such.
Am I the only one who thinks like this? Am I delusional? Surely not.

So what would you rather be? A Blofeld-esque supervillain playing one side against the other (yes please! where do I sign up?!)

Or perhaps you'd rather be an evil despot with pictures of yourself on every road and in every building and, of course, a militia- no self-respecting tinpot dictator could ever rule with an iron fist without a militia.

Perhaps you're the Mad Scientist sort, robots, lasers, quasi-psychedellic brain-washing rooms with strobes and moog synthesiser noises...

Let's not forget the kick ass kung-fu/Bruce Lee movie Mr Big with chop-socky hencemen or the evil Columbian drug baron sort.

What kind of henchmen? What sort of evil layer? What would your plans be?

mr_angry

Definitely in the mad scientist category. Give me with a big lair with some extremely large electrodes, and some manical laughter, and I'm a happy (but insane) man.

Villain Supply

I don't know if that site's still going, but it used to be the ultimate resource for us villains.

Amz

I plan on rounding up an army of niccotine addicted squirrels from the worlds public parks and training them in the ways of the samurai and with my fearless army I shall take over the world!

The squirrels will be in need of niccotine so will attack smokers for a fix, eventually they will become dependent on other substances and I will harness the awesome power of the squirrel to completely obliterate any opposition to my rule!

Obviously there are a few flaws in this plan but it's early days yet...

Indeed...

(c) Amz 2004

atheist

Shoot consultants

echomadman

/me narrows eyes.

OK then, I though you were divulging details of The Plan in here beerbaron.



as you were people,

Kold

Genetically modified penguins.

The Beer Baron

/me narrows eyes.
OK then, I though you were divulging details of The Plan in here beerbaron.

Of course not.
Jesus! Wouldn't be much of a plan if these crowd knew it- and don't think I don't see your hands under the table, like I don't know what that button is- who you think installed it.


Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, revenge, Extortion

Jim

Originally posted by The Beer Baron
Of course not.
Jesus! Wouldn't be much of a plan if these crowd knew it- and don't think I don't see your hands under the table, like I don't know what that button is- who you think installed it.


Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, revenge, Extortion

in other words he doesnt have a plan.

well....his plan was to start this thread and steal other peoples plans. but now were on to him...

me? id build a underground network of tunnels and mini cities. oohhh yes. im gonna draw some diagrams.

User45701

I posted in the lottery thread that i would build a complex instead of a house.
I would have a great interest in world domination there are too many problem in this world that goverments cant solve. A Dictator ship (A positive dictator ship) would solve so many problems and make the world a better place.

The main problem with a good dictatorship is that when the leader dies who replaces him?? Thats when trouble starts to happen

magick

Im starting a politcial party called Wiltons, basically when we get into power ,our slogan is "threats win votes" we shall take over waterford city and rename it woganland and launch an invasion (using the boats in dunmore) to GreenLand, there we shall set up our city blakestown, now using ww2 blueprints we can then harness the resources and make some volksjager jet fighters and Heinkel 111 bombers and then launch an invasion of Iceland, now by doing this we shall then recive serious resistance both from the Irish Govt and the UN, however we can buy tme, by setting up a shipping blockade from the gap of iceland to greenland and charge shipping fees. Now this might piss off the Royal Navy but we will get decoy boats loaded with tied up hostages (from either freezeland aka greenland, or Generic Island aka iceland) and float them though the passage so the RN think their enemy ships and blow them up which with all the civilan deaths will not help the war effort for Woganlands enemys.
the rest im currently working on..............

Agent Smith

yeah right, like i'd tell you people?

swiss

I think I would have to go down the tried and tested route for world domination. Of course, it hasn't worked (yet) but I fail to see a better way to do it.

Hitler/Mussolini/Stalin etc had the right idea when it came to dictatorships. Propoganda and controlling the flow of information was absolutely pivotal in achieving their goals

1) Create and foster a sense of discontent with the current administration. If such a discontent already exists, do everything in your power to exacerbate this tension. This include rallies, marches, anything your maniacal mind can dream up.

2) Blame all of the countries problems on some minority group, a scapegoat if you will. This can be jews, gays, blacks etc etc. I don't know, be creative. If you can't find such a group, make one up. Maybe bridge players.

3) Patriotism may be the last refuge of the scoundrel, but it's a godsend to dictators. No matter what you do, say that it is to protect and secure the future of the country. If anyone disagrees with you accuse them of being 'unpatriotic' and throw them in jail. If anyone accuses you of being a Nazi/Communist/whatever, do the same to them.

4) Make the people believe that there is a clear and present threat faced by other countries, and use this as a premise for war. This should stir up patriotic feeling, which has the fringe benefits already discussed. It also means you can make far more 'ethically questionable' decisions without worrying too much whether people will oppose you or not. Hey, they're 'unpatriotic' if they do oppose you. (see America V Iraq for a perfect execution of this policy).

5) With a beefed up armed force, you should be ready to start taking over other countries. Tight control over the media should convince people that you are taking the 'right' course of action. Stifle opposition ruthlessly.

At this point, of course, other countries will be sitting up and taking notice. Depending on your circumstance, you might want to seek out a few allies in your new wonderful vision of world order. I haven't quite figured out where to go from here though.

User45701

Well said swiss

On point 3 - if we start a nice little party here in ireland who could we ALL agree on the scapegoat being??
Yes you guesed it - The "scumbags" or "scangers" or whatever you want to call them, also if you blame them for all the problems you would be telling the truth!

On point 5 i only have 1 thing to say "Control The Media Control The Mind"

NinjaBart

I thought I was weird for having detailed plans for world domination

(tehy look nothing like swiss' plan though)

wiped

Piss filled balloons ... and printed on each balloon will be the words "That ain't apple juice"

peterk19

I would start by releasing something that everybody likes and lace it with a super addictive chemical so they crave if daily and will do anything for i will start off small by only selling contaminated product somewere small like America Once i have america under my control then Korea and Germany then the world BABY YEA then the entire world will be mine all addicted to my Irresisable range of frozen meals (ive said too much)

peterk19

Oh and anybody that dare defy me will be hunted down by my own private Mounties riding Camels and equipped with daggers and explosive Pee shooters

Commissar

World domination?
:dunno:
Who wants the hassle?

dictatorcat

mad scientist type take-over. My plan is to make an army of nanobots that will ride the wind and at my command will strike down my enemies by dissolving them molecule by molecule. Everyone will fear me as all i will have to do is think it and they will die a most horrible and gruesome death. The catch will be that only skangers and right-wing loons will fear me, once i have wiped them out the world will become a liberal wonderland like the Netherlands or summit and then i might consider deactivating my nanobots.

Alternatively a big space laser.........it'd be like burning ants:p

Btw. I'm now taking bids on Canada if anyone wants a bit of the action!

Johnny Versace

What a coincidence. I posted something totally along these lines this morning on my blog...

The Creatures 3 Feb 2004|10:58

I was forced to shake someones hand a few minutes ago. He was greasy, sweaty, and cleary doesn't wash his hands after taking a shít.

UGH.

It got me thinking. You know the way our bodies are covered in tiny little insects/organisms/germs/creatures? Well, when I shook his hand some of my insects would have crawled onto his hand. At this moment in time they might be battling his insects for control of his body. They will then be passed into his wifes vagína when he ****s her tonight, and slowly proceed to take over the world!

In other words, 1 0VV|\| U |\|0VV!!! U F00L5!!! B3|\|D 0V3R F0R J35U5!!!

...

Yes, I'm in a strange mood today.

magick

swiss

3) Patriotism may be the last refuge of the scoundrel, but it's a godsend to dictators. No matter what you do, say that it is to protect and secure the future of the country. If anyone disagrees with you accuse them of being 'unpatriotic' and throw them in jail. If anyone accuses you of being a Nazi/Communist/whatever, do the same to them.

Just like what Bush and his supporters are doing now

Make the people believe that there is a clear and present threat faced by other countries, and use this as a premise for war. This should stir up patriotic feeling, which has the fringe benefits already discussed. It also means you can make far more 'ethically questionable' decisions without worrying too much whether people will oppose you or not. Hey, they're 'unpatriotic' if they do oppose you. (see America V Iraq for a perfect execution of this policy).

Bush again

With a beefed up armed force, you should be ready to start taking over other countries. Tight control over the media should convince people that you are taking the 'right' course of action. Stifle opposition ruthlessly.

are you copying bush?!

mr_angry

Originally posted by User45701
Well said swiss

On point 3 - if we start a nice little party here in ireland who could we ALL agree on the scapegoat being??
Yes you guesed it - The "scumbags" or "scangers" or whatever you want to call them, also if you blame them for all the problems you would be telling the truth!

Or taxi drivers. Taxi drivers get my vote!

blondie83

i think I'd have to have a super secret army of ninjas that no one knew about...untill it was too late! I'd have a big secret lair too, that no James Bond types could find. Don't know if I'd be bothered with the whole world domination thing though, it sounds too much like hard work:ninja:

AL][EN

I didnt see the "what if you won the lotto" thread but i sure as hell would keep all the money if i won. anyway thats not the topic here yea of course world domination sounds like a plan really. Now i'll give you, the army of niccotine crazed addicted squirrels is a damn good plan and if i had though of it first i'd be half way to conquering the world by now however my plan B is even more cunning than that.

I will create a genetically enhanced clone of Jimmy Hoffa, then i shall get him eleceted as the next President of the United States... Behind the smoke screen of his presidency, I, as his Chief of Staff, will implement world domination plan 433B.

I shall create an army of unstoppable of slaves. I shall create this army with the aid of legions of unassuming humans...they will be hypnotized by the secretions of a rare Peruvian Gaokian...It's skin gives off a powerful hypnotic fluid full of active peptides...After we collect the frog's fluid i have devised a plan to draw thousands of people here to ingest it and become hypnotized...i shall mix the fluid into a floury batter and have a gigantic pancake jamboree, thus creating an unstoppable army of slaves.

kano476

Originally posted by magick
Im starting a politcial party called Wiltons, basically when we get into power ,our slogan is "threats win votes" we shall take over waterford city and rename it woganland and launch an invasion (using the boats in dunmore) to GreenLand, there we shall set up our city blakestown, now using ww2 blueprints we can then harness the resources and make some volksjager jet fighters and Heinkel 111 bombers and then launch an invasion of Iceland, now by doing this we shall then recive serious resistance both from the Irish Govt and the UN, however we can buy tme, by setting up a shipping blockade from the gap of iceland to greenland and charge shipping fees. Now this might piss off the Royal Navy but we will get decoy boats loaded with tied up hostages (from either freezeland aka greenland, or Generic Island aka iceland) and float them though the passage so the RN think their enemy ships and blow them up which with all the civilan deaths will not help the war effort for Woganlands enemys.
the rest im currently working on..............

leave ballybeg behind u m8.
is woganland named after terry wogan?
are you on drugs?
can i come?
do i need a passport coz mines outta date?
stop reading tom clancy books it doesent do you any good.
can we use the boats in tramore aswell?
will there be tuc in woganland?

i had a plan to take over switzerland when i was on tour there but it didn't work. the sheep arent as easily convinced over there. in fact i couldnt find any sheep. just mountins. too many mountins.

Deadwing

I have a plan that cannot fail. During football matches, i will broadcast pornography over the big screens, interspersed with subliminal messages. The following morning, everyone who saw said messages will get an uncontrollable urge to send me money.
This will happen every saturday, making me the richest man in the world in roughly 3 weeks.
I will use this money to construct a giant 500ft plank of wood with a nail in it, and proclaim myself Uber Fuhrer!!! All will ph33r my plank of wood with a nail in it!!!

TheSonOfBattles

Originally posted by Deadwing
I will use this money to construct a giant 500ft plank of wood with a nail in it, and proclaim myself Uber Fuhrer!!! All will ph33r my plank of wood with a nail in it!!!

/nick Kodos

<Kodos> Yes, that board with a nail with it may have stopped us….but some day…they will create bigger boards with bigger nails…and one day they'll create a board with a nail in it so big, it'll destroy them all! Ha….Ha.Ha…..HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa HaHa!

/nick TheSonOfBattles

End Communication

Dooom

Well, I'd let someone else take over the world, and while he's giving his big speech to the masses of people or whatever - walk up to him, kick him really really hard in the nuts, take his crown or what not (big planks with nails in it for some people..) and then get his guards (now mine) to shoot him. A lot. And then reign supreme over the world till I get bored of it and blow it up.

etc etc.

Jim

i think its only when the thread reaches 3 pages that the yanks start to get paranoid.

AL][EN

Originally posted by Jimeatsmenu
i think its only when the thread reaches 3 pages that the yanks start to get paranoid.

really you reckon after 3 pages?? i reckon the FBI are over at Dev's house now having a chat to him

The Beer Baron

Well that's phase one completed then...

/me strokes his white pussy.