A rethink in my attitude

As some of ye are already aware, a close family relative of mine was killed on Sunday morning in a single car accident, a young man of 17 who had just completed his Leaving Cert. I know the assumption that people make (and indeed, I made) when you hear that combination 'crash+17 year old male+ early hours=speeding.'

Your assumption would be correct...it appears he was speeding. On a stretch of road that he knew like the back of his hand, a stretch of road I would drive very very regularly. It's not exactly what you would call a dangerous stretch. Wide, open, very very slight long bend. However, speeding isn't what appeared to have been the cause of the accident, it appears it was a tyre blowout at an estimated 70-75mph.

The last two days, I have had the opportunity to see what my own funeral would have been like if i had crashed on one of the nights of sheer driving lunacy i used to regularly have. He was a very similar person to me, in terms of what he did, what he wanted to do, what he drove, his interests and tastes, and in physical appearance. I saw the utter despair and hurt that each family member went through, and I saw the consuming loss that they all felt.

Since I started driving four years ago, I've had a somewhat relaxed attitude towards speed. I've been pulled over countless times, have had a good few penalty points, and have crashed cars. In the last year or so, I have calmed down a lot. I was never one for speeding around towns/villages or busy areas, but I was quite bold on motorways/national roads. I have more or less obeyed every limit for about the last year ( Partly down to penalty points, partly down to growing maturity), despite having a quicker car now than I've ever had. Despite my own driving, I've never had a problem with people speeding or going too fast on open roads, if that was what they felt like.

The passenger in the car with him Sunday morning escaped with a broken elbow. He has reported back every detail of what happened. And whats becoming obvious is that, with a lower speed, he might not have died. OK there's no guarantee, but apparently he struggled to keep control of the car for up to ten seconds prior to impact. If he had been going slower, he may not have hit the wall.

This young man was due to go to his debs tonight, after getting his Leaving Cert results last Wednesday. Right now, he should be at home, putting on his suit and texting his girlfriend. Instead, hes in his grave, wearing the same suit. I am sitting here, dressed in my funeral clothes, ready to get on with the rest of my life. In just over two days, you can be dead and buried, and thats it, the person you were is...gone.

I am not the only person on Boards who has lost a family member or friend in tragic circumstances. Far from it. I'm partly writing this to vent my own sadness, partly to tell you that the stereotype you form when you hear of a young drivers crash may not be true, and partly to say my new view on speeding.

It's not a case of 'all speeders must be shot' or that I'm gonna become one of the high horse brigade. It's more a case of....for every extra mph you go, the greater the chance that if something goes wrong, the less chance you have of escaping. This goes for old and young, girls & boys. Is the extra 5mph really worth the utter destruction of the lives of all around you?

I'm sorry for rambling on a bit, I'm still a bit upset. It's something you never see happening to you. But it can happen to you. His death has done what no advertisement on telly could ever hope to achieve. I saw the extent of his injuries, and it was a violent death. Quick, but violent. No mother should have to do what his mother had to do. No father should ever have identify his dead son by the remains of his arm. No brother should ever want to wear the bloodstained bracelet taken from his corpse. No sister should ever have to stroke the cold, dead, waxy hands in his coffin.

If you can at all, even just 5mph, just slow down a tiny bit. It could be what prevents you from becoming the latest headline.