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Weird IM Conversation Openers

  • 16-09-2009 03:05PM
    #1
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭


    Just got this one now.

    andy says (15:00):
    ok, for some reason im shítting a lot lately
    ``liah?! says (15:00):
    well that's a lovely conversation starter

    What are some utterly bizarre or TMI conversation openers you've come across.. or sent?


«1

Comments

  • #2
    lucky-colm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 798 ✭✭✭lucky-colm


    what about starting with

    is there any chance i could borrow you'r wife's undies for a day or two

    or.....

    was that you'r mother i seen on stage last night down the lap dancing club

    or.....

    when do you think you'r buddie will get fed up of you'r wife and start coming down the pub again, he was great at pool


  • #3
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I usually start anonymous ones on Omegle with something totally random like.....

    ASL

    or

    What do you think about Obama and his first hundred days in Office.

    or

    Pikachu, Squirtle, Charmander or Bulbasaur, you can only pick one. Which is it?


  • #4
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,683 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Uhm, Squirtle. Duh.

    Worst starters involve Hi Hey Yo Hello and any variation thereof. At least "Im ****ting a lot lately" lets you know what they wanna talk about before you actually commit to the conversation by responding to "Hello"


  • #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Overheal wrote: »
    Uhm, Squirtle. Duh.

    Worst starters involve Hi Hey Yo Hello and any variation thereof. At least "Im ****ting a lot lately" lets you know what they wanna talk about before you actually commit to the conversation by responding to "Hello"

    Charmander.Squirtle was a batty boy.


  • #6
    Neamhshuntasach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,184 ✭✭✭Neamhshuntasach


    What's this IM nonsense?


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  • #7
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Neamhshuntasach wrote: »
    What's this IM nonsense?

    Instant Messenger.

    Windows Live Messenger
    AIM
    That sort of thing.


  • #8
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    I am required by law, and as part of my probation to tell you that I am a convicted sex offender.

    ASL?
    Then I normally paste in a ASCII Pedobear.


  • #9
    stepbar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,123 ✭✭✭stepbar


    "I'm watching you......"


  • #10
    Gone Drinking
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,814 ✭✭✭Gone Drinking


    liah wrote: »
    andy says (15:00):
    ok, for some reason im shítting a lot lately
    ``liah?! says (15:00):
    well that's a lovely conversation starter

    Jesus christ, can you keep anything to yourself?

    Andy


  • #11
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Gone Drinking wrote: »
    Jesus christ, can you keep anything to yourself?

    Andy

    You're not the real Slim Shady!


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  • #12
    Pimp Ninja
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,131 ✭✭✭Pimp Ninja


    I put on my robe and my wizard hat !


  • #13
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    I normally start with "Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
    or "Baaaaaaaaaaa" for one lad because he's welsh.

    I hate people who start with 'hello' or 'hi'.. just eurgh


  • #14
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,102 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    I'm 100% guilty of opening with "hi" or "hey".

    I'm quite tempted to start a convo with "So, when are we gonna do it?" just to see if it works get a reaction...

    <_<

    >_>


  • #15
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    An File wrote: »
    I'm 100% guilty of opening with "hi" or "hey".

    I'm quite tempted to start a convo with "So, when are we gonna do it?" just to see if it works get a reaction...

    <_<

    >_>

    Ohh, quite often I start a conversation with a girl with
    "Aren't you meant to be working the streets at the moment?" :cool:


  • #16
    NedTermo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 280 ✭✭NedTermo


    If they're female: "Hows your fanny for a lodger?"

    If they're male: "Hows your aul one's fanny for a lodger?"

    Im an English lecturer.


  • #17
    OK-Cancel-Apply
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,528 ✭✭✭OK-Cancel-Apply


    A friend's IM opener to me: "Wanker"


  • #18
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    How bout this one?


  • #19
    Midnight_EG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,799 ✭✭✭Midnight_EG


    Best one I use is an emoticon, but you'd have to have my msn for me to show you :)


  • #20
    Midnight_EG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,799 ✭✭✭Midnight_EG


    Well I just started a conversation like this, I thought it was funny :o

    Kev says (20:37):
    story
    Nick....Jennifer <3 says (20:38):
    two men walk into a bar, one buys a drink and the other goes for a piss, he then comes back and orders a coke n jack daniels. They proceed to have a good night then go home and sleep.
    Kev says (20:38):
    ...


  • #21
    Irish Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 589 ✭✭✭Irish Trinity


    brummytom wrote: »
    Ohh, quite often I start a conversation with a girl with
    "Aren't you meant to be working the streets at the moment?" :cool:

    how far ya get with that line?


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  • #22
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,296 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    To me; "I've been thinking about this and I would like to have your first child for you". True story. Saved that convo and that was the third line in. :eek:

    I barely knew her. She was part of a circle of people I knew through an ex. Mate of hers too. And it turned out she was totally serious too and reckoned this would be a good opener.

    I think even our learned friends in the mental health arena who would normally frown on such descriptions as unethical and inaccurate would diagnose "loooooooooooooper!".

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #23
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Wibbs wrote: »
    To me; "I've been thinking about this and I would like to have your first child for you". True story. Saved that convo and that was the third line in. :eek:

    Did you sell?


  • #24
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Wibbs wrote: »
    To me; "I've been thinking about this and I would like to have your first child for you". True story. Saved that convo and that was the third line in. :eek:

    I barely knew her. She was part of a circle of people I knew through an ex. Mate of hers too. And it turned out she was totally serious too and reckoned this would be a good opener.

    I think even our learned friends in the mental health arena who would normally frown on such descriptions as unethical and inaccurate would diagnose "loooooooooooooper!".

    An unethical person would have said "Sure I'll father your child" and then got some sort of non barrier male contraception.

    Good thing you're not unethical.


    What's her addy???:D


  • #25
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,296 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Naw no way. I like you too much mate.:D Did I emphasise Loooooooooooooooooooper!!!! The only non barrier method I would have used with that wan was penile amputation.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #26
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Naw no way. I like you too much mate.:D Did I emphasise Loooooooooooooooooooper!!!! The only non barrier method I would have used with that wan was penile amputation.

    So if I made fun of you I'd get it:D

    I have experienced loopers, fun for a while, then just plain old get me outta here:D


  • #27
    TPD
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,813 ✭✭✭TPD


    Would generally start a conversation with one of the following:

    Boss
    Wols
    San
    Blun
    Bleag

    And a few more insults which are said in jest but may be deemed offensive by some of the meeker posters in AH so I won't bother.


  • #28
    TimTim
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 804 ✭✭✭TimTim


    I usually open up with a "hey, you alive?"

    Oddly enough nobody has said no to that question yet.


  • #29
    pikachucheeks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,488 ✭✭✭pikachucheeks


    A friend of mine used to start conversations with me asking for sexual favours and nude photos.
    Not even so much as "Hi, how are you?" before delving into the filth!

    ... He's not my friend anymore! :pac:


  • #30
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    pikachucheeks wrote: »
    A friend of mine used to start conversations with me asking for sexual favours and nude photos.
    Not even so much as "Hi, how are you?" before delving into the filth!

    ... He's not my friend anymore! :pac:

    What did you do with the photos ?


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  • #31
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    pikachucheeks wrote: »
    A friend of mine used to start conversations with me asking for sexual favours and nude photos.
    Not even so much as "Hi, how are you?" before delving into the filth!

    ... He's not my friend anymore! :pac:
    Got what he wanted then moved on.Typical


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