Did I "do the gayness"?

tallaght01 · 02-08-2008 7:42am #1

I'm a straight man. Not an ounce of the ghey in me. No probs with the ghays, but it ain't for me :P

Anyway, was out last night. All went well. No major banter just a bit of a boogie, and some banter with a few middle-aged Japanesetourists.

Went to bed about 5am.

As the cock crowed at about 7am, I rolled over in my warm bed. I put my arm out and embraced the warm, sleeping body that was lying in a deep slumber beside me.

eh.....HANG ON ONE ****LING MINUTE.........

WHY IS THERE A PERSON IN MY BED???????

WHY IS HE...........A HE??????????????

Jesus H Christ on a mountainbike there's a bloke in bed with me.

I grabbed him and shook him violently. It was an old mate of mine from uni. He's staying with me for the weekend.

"Dude, why are you in my bed????? How did you get into my flat????".

Last time I saw him was about midnight and he was getting stuck into some bird in the nightclub. I didn't expect to see him until later today, tbh.

So, we both sat bolt upright. A bead of sweat ran down my forehead.

He was still wasted. I hadn't been drinking.

"Tallaght01, did you take advantage of me while I was drunk??".

"**** off".

So, we've tried to retrace our steps. He says he definitely remebers having sex last night. His sticky underpants back up his claim. However he thinks it was with the girl he met last night,but he can't be sure.
I don't remember having a recent sexual experience, and I was sober.

I think he stumbled home drunk and let himself in (I gave him a key) and climbed into my bed.

Itwould be impossible for us to have had a drunken, sleepy moment of ghayness. Wouldn't it?

I've shared beds with guys before, but have always observed the "duvet rule", whereby one guy has to sleep on top of the duvet while the other sleeps under it.

So, I'm trying to look at the facts here.

Factors that go against us having done gayness:

1) I was sober and I don't remember any gayness.

2) He was fully clothed when we woke up

3) It's likely that he had sex with an actual woman earlier in the night.

Factors that suggest we may have had gayness:

1) I woke up in bed with a dude

2)he reckons he definitely had sex. He's unsure who it was with, though.

3) He would rattle anything when he's drunk

Anyone else every been in the position. I need some closure on this so that I can look me old buddy in the eye once more :pac:

Dave147 · 02-08-2008 7:52am

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
PWNED

TequilaMockingBird · 02-08-2008 8:04am

Good morning tallaght01,

Here is your ghey password: xxxxxxxx.
Please enjoy all our facilities and visit us again soon.
Please use the link here to visit our homepage: www.iamnowghey.com

Best wishes and thanks for joining our group!
The Ghey Team

jaffa20 · 02-08-2008 8:07am

even a mod can't choose the right forum:rolleyes:

I would say you've caught a dose of the 'gayness'. do you want me to come over later...:P

TequilaMockingBird · 02-08-2008 8:11am

jaffa20 wrote: »

even a mod can't choose the right forum:rolleyes:

Which forum would you recommend?

R0ot · 02-08-2008 8:17am

Funniest thread i've read in quite a while, but I do not believe you did the 'gayness' :pac:

brianthebard · 02-08-2008 8:21am

Is your bumhole sore op?If you were sober why can't you remember?

jaffa20 · 02-08-2008 8:22am

sueme wrote: »

Which forum would you recommend?

Personal issues, humour, lgbt ???

It really depends on the OP's aim with this post and where he wants his gheyness to go...

tallaght01 · 02-08-2008 8:23am

jaffa20 wrote: »

Personal issues, humour, lgbt ???

It really depends on the OP's aim with this post and where he wants his gheyness to go...

jaffa20 wrote: »

even a mod can't choose the right forum:rolleyes:

I would say you've caught a dose of the 'gayness'. do you want me to come over later...:P

keep yer rolleyes to yerself, kid. It's just a bit of banter.

R0ot · 02-08-2008 8:23am

jaffa20 wrote: »

Personal issues, humour, lgbt ???

It really depends on the OP's aim with this post and where he wants his gheyness to go...

I think this kind of thread perfectly fits in AH

SimpleSam06 · 02-08-2008 8:26am

Ah jesus am I going to catch teh ghey after reading that post? Its wafting off me monitor now...

jaffa20 · 02-08-2008 8:27am

tallaght01 wrote: »

keep yer rolleyes to yerself, kid. It's just a bit of banter.

No worries kid :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Go back to bed;)

DublinWriter · 02-08-2008 8:28am

tallaght01 wrote: »

As the cock crowed...

Indeed

tallaght01 wrote: »

Anyone else every been in the position.

Nope.

tallaght01 wrote: »

I need some closure on this so that I can look me old buddy in the eye once more

Which eye would that be?

R0ot · 02-08-2008 8:28am

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Its wafting off me monitor now...

Your wafting what off your monitor? :eek:

Marcus.Aurelius · 02-08-2008 8:34am

I doubt there was teh ghey.

Is your butt sore OP? I mean, your a doccy for God's sake.

SimpleSam06 · 02-08-2008 8:52am

Marcus.Aurelius wrote: »

I doubt there was teh ghey.

Is your butt sore OP? I mean, your a doccy for God's sake.

Well he might have just been teabagged when he was asleep. That would also explain the sticky underwear.

SimpleSam06 · 02-08-2008 8:54am

R0ot wrote: »

Your wafting what off your monitor? :eek:

Its alright I've a tescos bag dropped over it now.

BenjAii · 02-08-2008 8:54am

OMG !!

Have you noticed any of the other "gheyness" danger signs ?? If so get yourself checked out straight away ...

1. Suddenly have better taste in clothes and want to bin 75% of you old wardrobe ?
2. Started fretting that you've wasted all these years without using moisturiser.
3. Taste in pop music converging with that of your 13 old niece.
4. Do a double take when you pass a stunningly attractive woman on the street - wow, she knows how to accessorize, where did she get those shoes ?
5. Sudden passion for rugby ? It is loads of strapping muscular men in cute tiny little shorts bending over a lot ....

The waking of in bed with another man sober is the least of your danger signals, start getting more than 1 or 2 of the above and you're literally f*****

Flamed Diving · 02-08-2008 8:57am

So your friend has a memory of having sex with a woman, and then had sticky pants?

Wet dream?

tallaght01 · 02-08-2008 9:04am

To those who have questioned my anal integrity....I don't have a sore arse. But what if I was the pitcher, and he was the taker? :P

BenjAii wrote: »

OMG !!

Have you noticed any of the other "gheyness" danger signs ?? If so get yourself checked out straight away ...

1. Suddenly have better taste in clothes and want to bin 75% of you old wardrobe ?
2. Started fretting that you've wasted all these years without using moisturiser.
3. Taste in pop music converging with that of your 13 old niece.
4. Do a double take when you pass a stunningly attractive woman on the street - wow, she knows how to accessorize, where did she get those shoes ?
5. Sudden passion for rugby ? It is loads of strapping muscular men in cute tiny little shorts bending over a lot ....

The waking of in bed with another man sober is the least of your danger signals, start getting more than 1 or 2 of the above and you're literally f*****

Jesus. I never thought of that. After the incident, I went to get me haircut. For only the second time in my life, I went to a "hairdresser", rather than a barber. I thought it was just a question of convenience. But what if it was my latent homosexuality bubbling under the surface???

:pac:

Overheal · 02-08-2008 9:06am

Its just a little Sparkle dear, nothing to go flamboyant over.

Wibbs · 02-08-2008 9:15am

tallaght01 wrote: »

To those who have questioned my anal integrity....I don't have a sore arse. But what i I was the pitcher, and he was the taker? :P

Whoa whoa slow down with the medical mumbo jumbo there Ted! Why can't you lot just speak english ffs? Just give it to me straight doc, or ghey if that suits you better......

chem · 02-08-2008 9:31am

Only one thing can sort out this problem. You will both have to smell each others love sticks. It might mean a 69 position:o If you suddenly feel the urge to put your m8s love stick into your mouth, I am afraid you are now a gaylord:P

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 02-08-2008 9:49am

tallaght01 wrote: »

I've shared beds with guys before, but have always observed the "duvet rule", whereby one guy has to sleep on top of the duvet while the other sleeps under it.

That's only to prevent dutch ovens... it doesn't prevent the ghay, since dry-humping is still extremely likely.
Real (homophobic) men sleep on the floor at opposite ends of the room.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 02-08-2008 10:13am

BenjAii wrote: »

OMG !!

Have you noticed any of the other "gheyness" danger signs ?? If so get yourself checked out straight away ...

1. Suddenly have better taste in clothes and want to bin 75% of you old wardrobe ?
2. Started fretting that you've wasted all these years without using moisturiser.
3. Taste in pop music converging with that of your 13 old niece.
4. Do a double take when you pass a stunningly attractive woman on the street - wow, she knows how to accessorize, where did she get those shoes ?
5. Sudden passion for rugby ? It is loads of strapping muscular men in cute tiny little shorts bending over a lot ....

The waking of in bed with another man sober is the least of your danger signals, start getting more than 1 or 2 of the above and you're literally f*****

In fairness, with the exceptional of 3/4, that could be three quarters of the hetrosexual population of Dublin in there.

OP - if it turned out that you did do they gay thing, would you be that bothered...? Or would you need drastic counselling...? PI form

>

Voodu Child · 02-08-2008 11:15am

tallaght01 wrote: »

I've shared beds with guys before, but have always observed the "duvet rule", whereby one guy has to sleep on top of the duvet while the other sleeps under it.

WTF?

There's no such thing as a 'duvet rule', you're definitely gay OP.

Don't worry, you're in Australia, nobody will notice.

taidghbaby · 02-08-2008 11:15am

OP you have to ask yourself three questions:

1. did you remove any short and curlys from your teeth thismorning
2. is there any half-chewed sweetcorn in your bed
3. is it sore to piss

if the answer is yes to any of the above, then my friend you have had a night of rampant, homo-erotic man love......check your camera for evidence!

(i would just like to put it on the record that none of the above is from personal experience, before some smart arse comes on saying i seem to have a knowledge in this area)

adsgirl · 02-08-2008 11:23am

Can you remember where you hand was when you woke up??

super_furry · 02-08-2008 11:30am

You didn't, at any stage, dream you were skiing, did you?

SimpleSam06 · 02-08-2008 11:31am

Heh. Imagine his grandkids reading this thread. And they will.

Dun laoire · 02-08-2008 11:35am

adsgirl wrote: »

Can you remember where you hand was when you woke up??

Probably trying to remover his mates sticky cacks from his head :pac:

Did I "do the gayness"?

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