Freddie Mays in Vegas Part I

Got this email from a good mate I havent seen in years. He isnt a boardsie and is based in London.

Just to let you know I got to Vegas in one piece and to let you know how I am getting on. It appears my mobile does NOT work like I thought it would so Im afraid I cant text or call. If I hadn't told you I am in Las Vegas until 27th August with a totally inadequate bankroll and I am trying to make it pay playing poker against the locals and also trying to win a seat at the World Series. It's all going mightily unsuccessfully so far but more on that later. They charge $12 an hour for internet out here so I don't get on it much. And I have to sit in a pikey souveneir shop to send emails. So Im sure you will excuse the typos as Ive got a fair bit to say and Im in a 38 mniute rush against the clock.

The journey was 28 hours door to door and I recommend never getting a connecting flight to Vegas with abbots travel. I land in Philadelphia at 4pm and am due to board the next flight at 5.30pm. This is physically impossible to do in 90 minutes. It's 45min to an hour to get through immigration. IF THERE are no hitches. And it is another 45 mins to an hour to get through security ni the longest windiest queue ever. There is a THIRD queue before security to dump you bags. Luckily, my plane was delayed 2 hours and I didn't have to sweat much, although I didnt know it was delayed until I had cleared immigration.

I got here on 19 June and fired downtown to Binions. Only one thing to do - sit at a poker table and play $1-3 NL holdem. 90 minutes later and $300up at cash. So Im ahead on the trip so far and I go to bed happy. EASY GAME. It was just like the last time I went there. Binions is WELL old, est 1951 and the decor hasn't changed much since then. But $49 a night and I also get a players discount of $35 per night if I play 4 hours a day plus free food. So I can basically live for less than 20 quid a day if I so choose (I haven't yet, but the option does exist NOT to spend loads of money). Downtown Vegas is full of pikies like you wouldn't believe. And this is the tourists Im talking about. I am not kidding you when I say I haven't even seen any decent looking women yet, apart from 1 dealer and 1 cocktail waitress in Binions. They (the fit women) are all on the strip. Ive only been up there for a quick trip to Rios to see that everything is ship shape for the WSOP. It is. At the weekend the massively jack up the rates and availability is scarce everywhere. This is how I came to find myself staying on 8th street, 4 blocks away from the main street with all the casinos, about 1km away, in a place called the 'Downtowner'. Well grim. in future I book up in advance to make sure this doesn't happen. I actually encountered a place (fortunately there was nothing available in it) where the rate was 130 dollars a WEEK. I shudder the think what sort of quality the room was. Some places advertise 'weekly maid service'. This one didn't even advertise that!

As all the streets are carved up into a grid you have to walk past loads of junctions and there are loads of black geezers loitering round in baggy clothes at said corners. There's no point trying to avoid them by doing a left then a right then a right say, because that left will take you to another corner, where there will no doubt be other people knocking about. It also makes it look like you are avoiding them and that you are bricking it. I figure if they are going to rob you they will follow you so best just bowl straight past them rather than going further away from the main street. I almost got myself in a spot the first night I spent in the DOWNTOWNER. I was walking past a group of blokes and I remembered a certain person who will remain nameless from the time we went to VEgas in 2006. On this occasion the unamed person was so blatantly SH!TTING himself but we were only walking up the side of the road and there were no other people. There must have been some pretty bad dudes in those cars out there driving past at 50mph. Anyway, remembering this I started laughnig. Im laughing away but Im looking straight at this big black bloke and he says to me "Hey Big Guy". Oh sh!t. Who's cr@pping it now? He goes on "It's $190 fine for jaywalking, gotta cross att he crosswalk". He's doing me a favour tellnig me about the local traffic regulations. I had no clue, but in order to save time atthe junctions I dont always wait for the lights and I just cross a bit further down. Illegally, as it turns out. So I thank him and go on my way.

From 20-22 I played some big tournaments. How is this for teh height of arrogance. I enter the HORSE event. Holdem, Omaha Hi/Lo, Razz, Stud, Stud Eight or Better. I have never played Stud 8 and I have never even SEEN a game of Razz. But I pay my $260 and line up against a load of pros thinking I can wni. I come 199th of 271 runners. But you should have seen the looks on their faces when I asked if someone could exlpain the rules of Razz to me. The man to my left, young bloke, glasses, really patient with my stupid questions, helpfully explains. He's really helpful, nice bloke. When I return 17 hours later they are still playing. He is chip leader and they chop it up, too exhausted to carry on. He gets the lions share of the $15k first prize. I'm well chuffed for him. So the good guys can win. I played a $150 omaha 8 or better (BTW this is my cash game of choice when I am exhausted. I play 3-6 limit and it is good because you dont have to think, dont need to really get reads on players and you can rack up the hours just playnig tight and bettnig for value. When Im a bit sharper and focussed I play no limit hold em. You need your wits about you more at no limit holdem.

Anyway, enough on poker because I am runnnig out of internet time and there is something that I need to tell you that happened yesterday, totally unrelated to poker. I can always send another poker email if you want because Im keeping a black book on sessions played, other players, profit and loss, as well as a few interesting hands that have cropped up. Suffice to say that my net losses are $500 after my tournament losses and one session of losnig 400 at cash in 2 hands (AA cracked but I didnt write this email to whine about bad beats). But I have seen enough in the cash games to know I can survive out here.

Right - onto what happened yesterday. I'd taken a taxi to a place called Maryland and joined a gym (I encountered noe of the biggest ever mongs at reception but thats adifferent story). This gym is the size of Wales. I have a quick workout and a laugh at teh yankee gym psychos in there. Oh yes they are REALLY mad. One bloke opposite likes to talk to himself. I mean REALLY talk to himself. COME ON COME ON COME, ONE MORE YOU MTHRFKKER etc etc. He is erally disconcertnig and people just stay away from him. I saw 130lb dumbell, which is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I mean no-one could lift it, its impossible. when I left I decided I would buy a bicycle. That way I can cycle the 4-5 miles to the gym and back when I go, keep fit and all that and get a tan ni the bargain (get completely burned as it transpired). By the way, Im glad no-one knows me out here. They sell hydrogen peroxide in the shops and I thought - I wonder if you could use that to dye hair blonde. It's only a dollar a litre for this 3 percent stuff. So I tried it out. And my hair has gone completely ginger. So I look a right twat. Sunburned ginger tourist. (Another thing - all the poker playing guests and locals in Binions call me Harry Potter. When I moved in on the river this bloke folded and said "I ain't taking on Harry all in. This boys a wizard - he can even change the colour of his hair". Anyway, I buy this bicycle. HAd to walk 2 miles to K Mart in 110f heat and I am baked. I ask directions back to Downtown and some absolute CNUT deliberately sends me the wrong way. I thought I could trust this bloke. After asking a few hispanics who didnt speak any English I saw this man in a security uniform. thinking back it was so obvious - he said "cnotinue West until you reach Paradise, then take a left". Continue till you reach Paradise eh? What an absolute twat I am fallnig for that one. Mind you there were places called "Sahara" and "Desert" and "Eastern" so it wasnt as far fetched as it sounded. but he has sent me 180 degrees the wrong way.This actually isnt funny, you can literally die in this heat. 2 or 3 miles later I speak to a couple of blokes in overalls. One is ex Army and sound. there is no way he is lying I figure and he sends me back the way I came. He advises I put my bike on the bus (you can do that) and get the same bus as him all the way back. good lpan. Bad news is that the bus only takes 3 bikes on the front and all 3 racks are full. So I just bite the bullet and ride back. Its only about 7 miles but after waitnig for that bus in the heat I am well well hot. I get to Fremont Street and this is where the serious sh1t happens. I go past a bus stop. I notice a black woman with her 9-10 year old child with her. I go another 200 yards past. Fremont street is a highway with 4 wide lanes on each side of the road, much like a motorway. but there is a narrow sidewalk on either side (there's no way I would ride on the actual freeway, although staggeringly, it is legal). On one side of the road there are huge stores, like WalMart, Dennys. On the side of the road I am is just a vast vast area which is fenced off and it looks earmarked for building. there is a 10 foot fence and just acres and acres of concrete inside. To my amazement I see a human leg sticking out the bottom of the fence. I stop and go back to check it isnt a dummy or something. I can just about see through the slats in the fence, which are about 2 inches apart. To my absolute horror, I can see a face, head rolled back, eyes wide open. I can see white, dried foam in his mouth and bogies dried in each nostril. He looks well dead. 20 yards behind him is what looks like his bedding. Looks like a down and out who has got drunk, staggered over to the corner of this "compound" and crashed out. There is a wound on the side of his face on his cheek and the blood still looks wet. I shout out to him. No answer. I can't reach him because of the fence but his face is only inches from the fence. I remembered I had a bottle of water so I grab it open it and splash waterthrough the gap ni teh fence onto his face. Some goes in his mouth and his lips move. Christ, he's alive and he is tryng to talk to me. I splash more water ni his mouth and his lips move again. Now I am panicking like never before. this bloke is so close to dying it isn't true. What to do? I dont have a phone so I cycle back to the bus stop I passed and scream for help from this woman. Im screaming PHONE PHONE and she doesnt want to let me use it. I tell her THIS MAN IS GOING TO DIE. What man what man. I oint up the road, tell her to call 911, get an ambulance and follow me. A car pulls over. A woman and her kids has seen the commotion and wants to know if there is anything wrong and can she help. I tell her the score and she pulls over. When we are all there I give him more water. The woman says "I saw his stomach twitch when you gave him the water".

We are all telling him to hang in there and the ambulance arrives after about 5-10 minutes. They walk over, take one look and say "He's dead". I say "NO WAY - look his lips have been moving". the woman backs me up - "yes they were and his body moved too". "No he is dead - has been for hours, he repeats, feeling the blokes leg. "Look rigor mortis". HOws that then I say. "Cos he is spasming. Dead bodies spasm". Each paramedic puts an electrode on him. I still cant beleiev he is dead. I think they are trynig to jump start him. "No elctrical signal whatsoever and no pulse" (I hadnt thought to check his pulse). He is stone cold dead. We all stand and stare in disbelief. The medics have seen it all before. I ask if there is nything they need from me, like a statement, and they say they dont. The lady asks me if I need a lift and I say why not, so she puts the bike on her car and we head off. 4 days in the US and Ive seen a dead body

Got to go chaps. Ive spent 2 hours ni this souvenir shop on the internet and Ive noly got 3 minutes left

Take care you all. And be lucky. I'll send another update soon. Hopefully a bit more cheerful.