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boyfriend watching porn

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    #32
    Dog of Tears
    Closed Accounts Posts: 812 ✭✭✭Dog of Tears


    It doesn't really matter all the 'porn is great, what's the problem you prude' replies you invariably get on these forums.

    If you think it's a problem - then it's a problem.


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    #33
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    I wish the subject line of this thread wasn't about the boyfriend watching porn. Because that is a mere sideshow. He looks up escorts locally . Has had sex with prostitutes. Keeps a video of his ex poledancing on his phone. That is a far cry from someone looking at pornotubey sites.


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    #34
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    Generally an unhealthily relationship with sex one might say?
    How old are you both?


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    #35
    davmol
    Registered Users Posts: 883 ✭✭✭davmol


    gsi300024v wrote: »
    Lets say we're lads who don't watch porn, and our gf watches a lot of it, would we be ok with it? As in we go out to make tea, pause the movie we watching and they watching porn?
    Men who are in better shape then us, bigger man hood? Would we be grand?

    My other half loves pron and we have a great sex life.


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    #36
    davmol
    Registered Users Posts: 883 ✭✭✭davmol


    nashipear wrote: »
    I've asked guy friends and the ones who are able to hold down a relationship don't watch porn and the friend who said it's OK to watch porn is the one who's the town man slut

    I watch porn and have never had any relationship issues nor have my friends.My group about 12+ lads all woudl admit to watching porn and every one of us has a long term partner/wife and the majority have kids.


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    #37
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    davmol wrote: »
    I watch porn and have never had any relationship issues nor have my friends.My group about 12+ lads all woudl admit to watching porn and every one of us has a long term partner/wife and the majority have kids.

    Would they admit to using prostitutes if they had used them? Or cheating or all the other stuff that's so easy to hide?


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    #38
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    davmol wrote: »
    My other half loves pron and we have a great sex life.

    Maybe it's same as booze, some people have an unhealthy relationship with booze or gambling etc, some have a problem with it, could it be the same with sex/porn, some it improves their relationships and some it negatively impacts them?


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    #39
    davmol
    Registered Users Posts: 883 ✭✭✭davmol


    gsi300024v wrote: »
    Would they admit to using prostitutes if they had used them? Or cheating or all the other stuff that's so easy to hide?

    Im lost,just cos you watch porn doesnt mean you will use a hooker.

    If I watch 'trainspotting' it doesnt mean im going to go out and do gear.

    I also like watching peole base jump but id never do it.


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    #40
    LadyAthame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 793 ✭✭✭LadyAthame


    saw he had been looking at escorts in the surrounding areas, after that I didn't talk to him, and he proposed to me with tears in his eyes, and told me he was just looking,

    That is a very dysfunctional relationship. He proposed to get out of a bind. He is probably still looking and going to hookers in my opinion.


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    #41
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    Agreed.

    Do you hide that you watch people base jumping from your wife? Do you look at for hours everyday? Do you ring up places asking how much it is to base jump? Have you done base jumping in the past? Do you watch trainspotting for hrs a day on your phone anytime your gf is out of the room? Do you ring up and find the price of gear in the local area. Have you used gear in the past? Are you hiding the fact you watch trainspotting on your laptop and clearing your history before letting your gf use it. Are you annoyed when your gf catches you looking at trainspotting.
    You are comparing apples with oranges. I'm guessing you do not use porn in the way that guy does?


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    #42
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    davmol wrote: »
    Im lost,just cos you watch porn doesnt mean you will use a hooker.

    If I watch 'trainspotting' it doesnt mean im going to go out and do gear.

    I also like watching peole base jump but id never do it.

    OP's boyfriend has used a Hooker or Hookers. Looks up escorts online. That is not the same was watching porn. It is more proactive.


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    #43
    arayess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭arayess


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It sounds odd that he would threaten to leave over porn and makes me wonder if you have tried to control him in other ways?
    from subsequent posts I'd consider leaving if i was him. they don't seem to be on the same wavelength .
    Stavro Mueller wrote: »
    I think your family and friends would say something entirely different if they knew what was really going on. Someone who looks up escorts doesn't do so for the pretty pictures. How can you be sure he isn't continuing to have sex with prostitutes?

    tbh I and others I know look at those sites for amusements.
    I have visited myself when single but never when seeing somebody. some of my friends would have never gone to see a lady of the night but would looks at those pages for amusement/porn alternative.


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    #44
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,007 ✭ [Deleted User]


    nashipear wrote: »
    I've asked guy friends and the ones who are able to hold down a relationship don't watch porn and the friend who said it's OK to watch porn is the one who's the town man slut
    nashipear wrote: »
    My boyfriend also says that^^^^

    What?? Your boyfriend (who watches porn a lot, even when you're around) says that people who don't watch porn are better able to hold down a relationship and the one who does watch porn is the town "man slut"??


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    #45
    Meauldsegosha
    Registered Users Posts: 7,595 ✭✭✭Meauldsegosha


    nashipear wrote: »
    I've asked guy friends and the ones who are able to hold down a relationship don't watch porn and the friend who said it's OK to watch porn is the one who's the town man slut

    I'm not sure how many guy friends you asked but I would guess 80-85% of them lied to you.


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    #46
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    I heard in the states they wanted to do a study about something, they wanted a group of str men who looked at porn and a group who didn't for the study. They couldn't do the study because they couldn't find enough str men who don't look at.


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    #47
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    gsi300024v wrote: »
    I heard in the states they wanted to do a study about something, they wanted a group of str men who looked at porn and a group who didn't for the study. They couldn't do the study because they couldn't find enough str men who don't look at.

    Yes but that is not the issue here. OP'S boyfriend does it in a very much in your face sort of way. All the time. That coupled with the ex gf 's poledancing video on his phone, looking up escorts and having slept with at least one prostitute points to a man who's prepared to go further than most men. It's ok for the OP not to like it.


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    #48
    north_star_33
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭north_star_33


    You would consider your relationship because your bf is looking at some porn.

    psssssssssttttttt...i got news for ya....

    him and most other blokes out there...

    If hes a good guy and treats ya right then as a famous liverpudlian said "let it be"

    You do sound a bit controlling


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    #49
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    north_star_33 wrote: »
    You would consider your relationship because your bf is looking at some porn.

    psssssssssttttttt...i got news for ya....

    him and most other blokes out there...

    If hes a good guy and treats ya right then as a famous liverpudlian said "let it be"

    You do sound a bit controlling

    Would you like your partner having a clip on their phone of an ex doing a sex dance for you?
    I'd not be mad on it, ringing around prosituties? You'd be ok with it. I suppose some would be ok with all this, but OP is not ok and still partner does it.
    OP I wouldn't see you as controlling, would be interesting though, what might your partner say you could improve on? Either something he's never said but you suspect he might or something he's said and it's not changed, is he trying to punish you or acting out for some reason?


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    #50
    north_star_33
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭north_star_33


    My partner is dead sound..knows i have a string of ex's ...knows my past....isnt controlling and knows about the porno situation...

    Im only replying to what im reading and its funny you didnt reply to what i said...uf hes a good guy and treats her good...he should be entitled to privacy ..not rowing about porno sites..

    thats just silly


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    #51
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    north_star_33 wrote: »
    My partner is dead sound..knows i have a string of ex's ...knows my past....isnt controlling and knows about the porno situation...

    Im only replying to what im reading and its funny you didnt reply to what i said...uf hes a good guy and treats her good...he should be entitled to privacy ..not rowing about porno sites..

    thats just silly

    What about that? Would you mind gf keeping a sexy dance an ex did for them on their phone?
    I don't see it the same as complaining about someone having ex's ?


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