What Do You Do While Having A Dump?

Optimalprimerib · 20-11-2010 9:19am

i swirl my arse attempting to make it look like an ice cream cone. Id post pictures but i am on my mobile

Banjaxed82 · 20-11-2010 9:22am

I read the ingredients on the back of the shampoo bottles.

Magi11 · 20-11-2010 9:30am

I remember reading in Kevin Smiths "my boring arse life" that staying on the bog us very bad for you. That said, I would still be a 10 minute man, I have that today fm "us" book that I flick through!

discus · 20-11-2010 11:03am

The early morning cup of tea usually gives my bowels a spurt of energy, usually ending in a totally massive turd. Don't drink it while I ****e though.

I'm also a big fan of the nest method, personally.

Son Of A Vidic · 20-11-2010 11:06am

I think of the Government looking up at my arse!

R0ot · 20-11-2010 11:14am

Read.

antodeco · 20-11-2010 11:15am

Try all new positions. AC Slater is the hardest!

Princess Peach · 20-11-2010 11:39am

Boys are icky.

discus · 20-11-2010 12:23pm

WHO DELETED MY POST?!

jimthemental · 20-11-2010 2:16pm

Solve sudoku in the paper, or read the form for the racing.

Voodoomelon · 20-11-2010 2:34pm

Every Sunday after a big lunch at home, go routin for In Gear in the Sunday Times. "So you're off for a poo then?" "Yup".

Rustling the paper to cover the splashes, classic.

Agricola · 20-11-2010 2:38pm

If Im at home, I might take the laptop in with me. Have a look at some funny vids on youtube. I find it helps the extraction.

If Im out and about, Ill just fiddle with my phone.

deman · 20-11-2010 2:39pm

This.

Zebra3 · 20-11-2010 2:46pm

I take pics for uploading to this site.

Diapason · 20-11-2010 3:01pm

If you're not going to read in there, what's the point of Heat and Now and all that other stuff?

So yes, I read or, occasionally, grip the side of the bath and hang on for dear life, muffling the screams with a towel.

hzhang · 20-11-2010 3:55pm

web surfing with IPAD, perhaps the only time of the day that I use my IPAD.

AckwelFoley · 20-11-2010 4:18pm

What do i do while having a dump?

Concentrate

EverEvolving · 20-11-2010 5:18pm

I have volume one and two of "Is it just me, or is everything shít" on the stand and randomly pick a page each time

Hogzy · 20-11-2010 5:53pm

FoxT wrote: »

I could write a book on this. Chapter headings would be:

Anticipation
preparation
elimination & meditation
relaxation
Examination
decontamination
ventilation
deodorization
restoration

Im sure masturbation could fit in their somewhere. As well as condensation depending on how long your on the bowl,

GerardKeating · 21-11-2010 12:58am

starbelgrade wrote: »

Let's face it. Having a poo is a fairly mundane chore, so what do you do to pass the time while you're passing out effluent?

Some people like to read.

Some people are probably reading this whilst breaking a log.

I normally play a game of FIFA on the DS-Nintendo.

So what do you do whilst dropping the kids off at the pool?

Or do you just stare at the wall and grimace?

Read this post...

yoshytoshy · 21-11-2010 1:08am

Overheard in Dublin ,Classic little book.

blogga · 21-11-2010 1:20am

starbelgrade wrote: »

You should see some of my other threads, like -

"Is Enda Kenny a Robot?" (with added poll option)

"Do You Have A Pet Name For Your Todger?"

and

"If you were going to die with one thing in your mouth, what would it be?"

Why would I want to see anything else? You are fascinated by people on the toilet. I know enough forever about you.

langer91 · 21-11-2010 1:28am

afterwards i measure my log to see how big it is. i keep a record of all of them and i also record what i eat during the day so i know how to make really really big poo

UnknownSpecies · 21-11-2010 1:30am

langer91 wrote: »

afterwards i measure my log to see how big it is. i keep a record of all of them and i also record what i eat during the day so i know how to make really really big poo

didnt you know, thats actually fairly normal :rolleyes:

Kintarō Hattori · 21-11-2010 1:53am

At home: read a small factual book. Almost always about planes or cars.

In work: take out the phone and play a game of Solitaire.

smokie2008 · 21-11-2010 1:55am

Star Bingo · 21-11-2010 2:01am

pretend i'm having a smoke. try it, you'll sh!t faster

Equium · 21-11-2010 2:07am

I spend my time trying not to get caught. It's exhilarating to sneak into the ladies room and have a crafty crap. The only problem is having to lift your legs when someone else enters the room- it can get messy. But the reaction of women around the office to finding the present is worth it every time.
'Mary did you smell that one in the bathroom?' 'I sure did. Wasn't Sandra in their at lunch?' 'Has she no shame...'

0verblood · 21-11-2010 10:33am

I usually read. I love coming back from Tesco with a nice fresh magazine and bringing it into the bog. If the magazine is very interesting I ration out my poo by leaving out small bits at a time until the bowl is full of nesquik like shitlets and I've nothin left in me bowels.

daddydick · 21-11-2010 12:28pm

If I'm at home alone I will usually take something to read/ take out the iphone and read some newspapers and spent 10-15 minutes on the pot.

What Do You Do While Having A Dump?

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