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"I Love You"

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    #32
    Censorsh!t
    Registered Users Posts: 1,121 ✭✭✭Censorsh!t


    my current bf told me he loved me after about 3/4 weeks. He also told me that he realy didnt think he'd be saying it so soon. :)

    Also, id ever tell a guy i loved them before they told me. Id feel like a comeplete idiot if they didnt say it back.


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    #33
    kazkiely
    Registered Users Posts: 31 ✭kazkiely


    My bf said it to me first and I was like 'eep!'. But had to be honest. We were together three months that stage and I only said it back after a further three weeks or something. It's been 2 years now :)

    I have a friend who had been with her fella maybe about a month I think and they were all "I love you"s. Can't understand it. You can't possible know someone well enough after that length of time to say it, imo. That said, I suppose it depends on the person and their personality.


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    #34
    homerun_homer
    Registered Users Posts: 7,024 ✭✭✭homerun_homer


    The first time I told someone I loved them (and there was only one - it's not a frequent thing for me) was a funny experience. We were in bed, it was very late, some shennanigans had gone on and she asks me "Did you mean what you said earlier?".
    This meant within the last hour and I wasn't sure what I had said as I was very tired. She had a smile and optimistic look on her face so I said "yes", to which she replied "I love you too".

    It caught me off guard, didn't freak me out but then realised that if I said it that it was true.


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    #35
    Reku
    Registered Users Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Reku


    sar84 wrote: »
    yeah definitely. people who fall in love quickly (or think they do) tend do fall out of love just as quickly.

    Can't say I'd agree with that, I tended to fall fast but didn't lose interest to quickly, e.g. I remember one girl I think I was only dating for about 3 weeks-1month when I said it went out with her for about a year.
    You sure they weren't just saying it because they felt it was expected or might get them a roll in the sack? I've never said it and not meant it, would only just cheapen it when I did say it if I did that IMO.

    Yeah it's led to them being unable to respond in kind, but as long as they meant it when they said it that's fine with me.


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    #36
    Crumble Froo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    hehe, with my current fella, we'd been using the 'l' word before we realised we liked each other in that way. it was great being able to say it to each other in person for the first time.

    that said, there is an ex. who... even just thinking about, i feel completely creeped and and vaguely nasueous... but he said it within a week or two of meeting each other, and that was without even seeing a lot of each other at the time. and he was just a creepy, sleazy, manipulative prat. he was the only one who, when he said it, it did genuinely feel 'too soon' for me. and he's the only ex i dont think of fondly too.


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    #37
    jellie
    Registered Users Posts: 15,503 ✭✭✭✭jellie


    farohar wrote: »
    Can't say I'd agree with that, I tended to fall fast but didn't lose interest to quickly, e.g. I remember one girl I think I was only dating for about 3 weeks-1month when I said it went out with her for about a year.
    You sure they weren't just saying it because they felt it was expected or might get them a roll in the sack? I've never said it and not meant it, would only just cheapen it when I did say it if I did that IMO.

    Yeah it's led to them being unable to respond in kind, but as long as they meant it when they said it that's fine with me.

    maybe i was generalising a bit. & it wasnt expected, it slightly freaked me out. i do think he thought he loved me when he said it, & we were together for over a year. but the end was a rather sudden "i dont feel the same anymore" when he had felt it a few weeks previously. which makes me think either a) he didnt love me, he loved the idea of being in love b) he thought he loved me c) hes an idiot or d) he did love me but was still an idiot

    ill go with d. i think he actually did love me, he showed it plenty of times, but he was the kind of person that expected it to be perfect all the time. when real life affected things he couldnt cope & took it as he didnt love me anymore. but then he missed me, wanted me back, blah blah.. ah maybe he didnt. who knows... long time ago, ill cope with not knowing :P

    boys :confused:


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    #38
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    "Do you think we're in love?"


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    #39
    Dave147
    Registered Users Posts: 3,235 ✭✭✭Dave147


    I think I'm falling in love at the moment :) won't tell her till I'm sure but it's a nice feeling :D only ever told one girl I loved her, 3 months into our relationship, lasted 2 and a half years and I really did love her.


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    #40
    Rattlehead_ie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,882 ✭✭✭Rattlehead_ie


    peanuthead wrote: »
    (1) those words are so overused by EVERYONE that they mean fuck all anymore really,
    (2) I know he loves me by the things he does for me/says to me/ times he's there for me...
    (3) When he does say it, its way more special than hearing it everyday and I know he means it.

    Nail hit on the head there really to be honest. Gennerally in this day and age, I have heard those 3 words said too many times that its lost its meaning. IF and when I would say them I want the other person to know that I mean it + I think she would know already from the things I do on a day to day basis.


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    #41
    Piste
    Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    peanuthead wrote: »
    (1) those words are so overused by EVERYONE that they mean fuck all anymore really



    Yeah it's sad, but after the first week or so of saying it, it begins to lose a lot of meaning. But when you first say it, and can freely say it to eachother for a few days it's really wonderful. Then there are occasions when it means so much more, even though it's the same words and the same tone of voice, but the situation or the look on his face makes it so much more meaningful.

    I always told myself if I said that to someone that I wouldn't overuse it and would only say it occasionally- failed epically there!


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    #42
    Aurora Borealis
    Registered Users Posts: 939 ✭✭✭Aurora Borealis


    Maybe I'm getting wary in my old age but I'd rather wait and have my partner wait too before we said the I love yous. My last two relationships it was said quite early on and I don't think it gives the relationship the chance to mature properly. The last one I felt a bit pushed by it mostly because i wasn't ready for that level of a relationship and sad that things didn't feel the same for me. Not nice to have to explain that to someone. The one before, though I could say it back that time, in retrospect having discovered a whole load of lies after things finished it felt like I had been duped all along.

    I would never say it unless I meant it and would hope in future that whoever I meet operates on the same premise.


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    #43
    nightowl27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭nightowl27


    my current b/f told me he loved me about a month in, feeling rather shocked i "discreetly" changed the subject to football....knew it'd get his mind off it! then about a month later whilst on the way back from dinner, in the pouring rain, he pulls me aside looks at me and tells me he loves me, i literally nearly melted one of the most amazing feelings, knew i felt the same too....2 years down the line now!:) ah memories!!

    as to the lust/love thing. i think lust is what the begginings of a relationship is like, cant keep your hands off eachother etc. this can fizzle out if there is nothing else behind but it can grow to love too.


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    #44
    mollybird
    Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭mollybird


    well this is the first time ive been in love and when i did say it to him it took him a good 6 months to say it off his own bat. before that i knew he loved me by the things he done for me and how he was there for me when i needed him. but he did say it once when was drunk on a guys weekend away and i ate him over it. he knows not to do that again:p. i have told him how i feel about him not saying it that often. yes i do say it alot as it's how i feel. i could shout it from the roof tops.


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    #45
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I've had it said to me by 3 girls. Said it back to only one. I know for sure one who said it for sure didn't mean it and was just acting needy and desperate (long long story which I'm not repeating)

    It's not a big deal for me, 3 words mean a lot less than that look in the eye, the things they do for you or that sacrifice she makes....because it's for you. I know couples who say it to each other ALL THE TIME and I know they look at it from the perspective of "Oh well I want him/her to really KNOW I mean it" but I think what you do for them and how you act towards them is how to do that. Those 3 words can be as much used as a manipulative tool as they can a means of expressing feelings. My approach would be to show it in my actions and to say it fairly infrequently so as for it to mean something to her when I did say it.

    How do you girls define "all the time" by the by?! Said everyday? Said at the end of every phonecall/text? Or what?!

    I do find it hard at times to distinguish between love and lust! There has been one or two occasions when i thought I was in love but realised later that it was lust! Silly me eh!


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