Favourite Simpsons Quote

Lisa- I am the Lizard Queen!!

and

Lisa- Can't talk, coming down!

"Oh, could you be careful not to scrape my asphalt?"

"Kiss my asphalt".

"oh my god!, this man is my exact double - hey!, that dog has a puffy tail!! , here puff - here puff."

One of many greats

Maude (i think):They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty : Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down.

One more then

Kent Brockman : Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.

'they've got the internet on computers now????????????'

there are so many, so I have included a few (most from homer )

"Eh, you never know what you are capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong" - Abe Simpson

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"

"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that."

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

"Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"

"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

"Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day."

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

"Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"

"You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment', and God bless her soul, she was really onto something."

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:
You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

"Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow."

"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."

"You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!"

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?"

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."