Most incorrect thing you were taught?

Thwip! · 17-04-2012 8:06pm

Patchy~ wrote: »

Actually my geography teacher (remember, I'm in sixth year) constantly lectures me when I start a sentence with because. Not only is that the most ridiculous piece of primary school education, I dont know why hes insisting on it when I clearly make sense!

For example we did a question on meanders - I wrote "Because the river flows fast, it erodes the bank" and he circled the because. Yet English is one of my best subjects. :rolleyes:

Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us

FOOK DAH AUTORATAH

steddyeddy · 17-04-2012 8:38pm

Chris columbus discovered America, all the animals have been discovered and there was only one species of man.

Chazz Michael Michaels · 17-04-2012 8:39pm

steddyeddy wrote: »

only one species of man.

?

Canard · 17-04-2012 8:41pm

This man's father (talking about your own dad now)...is my father's son.

"My father is my father's son".
It makes no sense!

deise go deo · 17-04-2012 8:44pm

Patchy~ wrote: »

This man's father (talking about your own dad now)...is my father's son.

"My father is my father's son".
It makes no sense!

Pah, Its so obvious, he went back in time and rode his own mammy. Makes perfect sense. :rolleyes:

steddyeddy · 17-04-2012 8:46pm

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

?

Well homind. There were thought to be over twenty species of the genus homo at various points in the past. In indonesia up to 12 thousand years ago islanders shared the island with a three foot tall man like like species.

Chazz Michael Michaels · 17-04-2012 8:51pm

steddyeddy wrote: »

Well homind. There were thought to be over twenty species of the genus homo at various points in the past. In indonesia up to 12 thousand years ago islanders shared the island with a three foot tall man like like species.

Ok. Although that latter example isn't exactly an 'open and shut' case, is it?

steddyeddy · 17-04-2012 8:55pm

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Ok. Although that latter example isn't exactly an 'open and shut' case, is it?

Well they did exist or is that what your asking?

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/10/1027_041027_homo_floresiensis.html

Chazz Michael Michaels · 17-04-2012 8:57pm

steddyeddy wrote: »

Well they did exist or is that what your asking?

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/10/1027_041027_homo_floresiensis.html

No, the debate surrounds just how 'manny' they were.

EDIT: I might be thinking of something else...

steddyeddy · 17-04-2012 9:02pm

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

No, the debate surrounds just how 'manny' they were.

EDIT: I might be thinking of something else...

Ah right yes well theres huge debate over how many hominds there were and indeed what point they existed up until.

Capt'n Midnight · 18-04-2012 1:38am

That man's father...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw

im invisible · 18-04-2012 4:15am

doctor working ie the emergency room one weekend, a kid is brought in after been in a hit and run, the doctor sees him, and screams "NO, thats my son!"
but the doctor wasnt the boys father...

riddle me that

deise go deo · 18-04-2012 5:10am

im invisible wrote: »

doctor working ie the emergency room one weekend, a kid is brought in after been in a hit and run, the doctor sees him, and screams "NO, thats my son!"
but the doctor wasnt the boys father...

riddle me that

Its actually shameful how long it took me to work this out the first time I heard it.

Is a mháthair atá ann.

toexpress · 18-04-2012 8:41am

When my sister was in primary school she was told by a teacher that men could give birth!

That teacher ended up having a nervous breakdown shortly thereafter and went totally off the rails she could be seen walking around the town for years looking completely nuts until she chucked herself in the canal.

That's a kinda sad story now that I think about it

Wibbs · 18-04-2012 8:45am

toexpress wrote: »

When my sister was in primary school she was told by a teacher that men could give birth!

IIRC men could technically, with a lot of medical intervention carry a foetus. Attached to their kidney(again IIRC). Like an artificial ectopic pregnancy kinda thing. So maybe slightly correct? I doubt they could carry it for long though and I seriously doubt they could carry one to anything like full term.

Father Damo · 18-04-2012 9:49am

Our religion teacher told us not to let leaving cert "stress" get to us (stress? Couldnt give a sh1te myself)

Anyway, about said stress, she told us of a case a few years ago where a stressed out student had prodded himself to death using sharpened pencils up his nose in the middle of an exam, and LC exam protocol at the time prevented teachers from physically restraining him, I sh1t you not :pac: :pac: :pac:

People who believe urban legends outright should be shot tbh.

Also, we had a science teacher who insisted adding rat poison and heroin as mixers in ecstasy was common practice.

wallpaper12 · 18-04-2012 10:19am

Patchy~ wrote: »

Actually my geography teacher (remember, I'm in sixth year) constantly lectures me when I start a sentence with because. Not only is that the most ridiculous piece of primary school education, I dont know why hes insisting on it when I clearly make sense!

For example we did a question on meanders - I wrote "Because the river flows fast, it erodes the bank" and he circled the because. Yet English is one of my best subjects. :rolleyes:

Ok I believe that because can be used at the start of sentences but in the case you have given it sounds really bad. Something like 'The bank is eroded because the river flows fast' would have been more correct.

The King of Moo · 18-04-2012 10:36am

wallpaper12 wrote: »

Ok I believe that because can be used at the start of sentences but in the case you have given it sounds really bad. Something like 'The bank is eroded because the river flows fast' would have been more correct.

I have to disagree. "The bank is eroded because the river flows fast" sounds better because it's the more common construction, but it's not more right. Both are perfectly correct.

"Rules" like not starting a sentence with a conjuction came about because people thought it sounded wrong, not because the grammar involved is wrong.
As long as you've got both your main clause and your subordinate clause in the sentence, the order isn't important.
The order isn't important, as long as you've got both your main clause and your subordinate clause in the sentence.

paddyandy · 18-04-2012 11:00am

Don't Worry be Happy ......life is for fun .....and lotza other nonsenses from the teen years .

BizzyC · 18-04-2012 11:30am

im invisible wrote: »

doctor working ie the emergency room one weekend, a kid is brought in after been in a hit and run, the doctor sees him, and screams "NO, thats my son!"
but the doctor wasnt the boys father...

riddle me that

Doctor was his mother

Wossack · 18-04-2012 12:03pm

BizzyC wrote: »

Doctor was his mother

nah, it says doctor, not nurse

kidding...!

Galwayguy35 · 18-04-2012 12:09pm

Was told when I was 4 that I would love school, I hated it:(

I Heart Internet · 18-04-2012 12:12pm

^^Wow^^

Edit: Awwwwwwwwww tennis racket guy is gone :-(

sbsquarepants · 18-04-2012 1:05pm

Father Damo wrote: »

Our religion teacher told us not to let leaving cert "stress" get to us (stress? Couldnt give a sh1te myself)

Anyway, about said stress, she told us of a case a few years ago where a stressed out student had prodded himself to death using sharpened pencils up his nose in the middle of an exam, and LC exam protocol at the time prevented teachers from physically restraining him, I sh1t you not :pac: :pac: :pac:

People who believe urban legends outright should be shot tbh.

Also, we had a science teacher who insisted adding rat poison and heroin as mixers in ecstasy was common practice.

A nun in my school told us that a sign you may be stressed is if you sweat blood!:eek:

Now i aint no doctor - but that's pretty fúcking stressed!

steddyeddy · 18-04-2012 2:00pm

Father Damo wrote: »

Our religion teacher told us not to let leaving cert "stress" get to us (stress? Couldnt give a sh1te myself)

Anyway, about said stress, she told us of a case a few years ago where a stressed out student had prodded himself to death using sharpened pencils up his nose in the middle of an exam, and LC exam protocol at the time prevented teachers from physically restraining him, I sh1t you not :pac: :pac: :pac:

People who believe urban legends outright should be shot tbh.

Also, we had a science teacher who insisted adding rat poison and heroin as mixers in ecstasy was common practice.

Father Damien your tea is ready!!!!

mooonpie · 18-04-2012 2:06pm

Patchy~ wrote: »

...The C is there, and the I isnt before the E. So thats actually following the rule?

I remembered another one today. Not exactly something I was taught but the riddle "Brothers and sisters I have none, but this man's father is my father's son" with the answer being "hes looking at a picture of himself" makes no sense. The dad is his own son?
Once again, a primary school teacher. :rolleyes:

I've always heard that as:
"Brothers and sisters I have none, but that man there is my father's son"
Which would fit the answer you were given ("hes looking at a picture of himself")

mikemac1 · 18-04-2012 2:15pm

deise go deo wrote: »

Nope, Carr was the old Irish word for Charoite, it predates the word Car in literature.

Gluastain is a recent made up word.;)

:eek:

I was certain that carr was the recent made up word and gluastain was the old and proper word.
Well you'd think it wouldn't you, just a lazy translation, stick on an extra letter there for carr and it's looks Irish, be grand.

Well there is something I've learned today

jessiejam · 18-04-2012 2:48pm

Had a teacher in primary school she was the headmistress. We all had to sing in the school choir no matter now bad we were and stand along the back of the classroom in a row.

She would have a chair in front of her while we sang and would beat... I mean beat!.. a metre stick off it until we got in rhythm. When the metre stick broke she would use a tin whistle till it bent. She was a scary *itch.
Her tongue would be bent in her mouth and she would bite it between her teeth cause we were mostly crap and singing some opera ****e!

If all of this didn't work she would walk along sticking 4 of her fingers in each and everyone of our mouths till we opened wide enough to get the notes out properly. I will never forget the smell of coffee and fags off her manky fingers.

If all else failed then she would just fcuk the duster, (you know the one with the wood at one side and green sponge at the other) in the general direction of the group. dont know how one of us didn't get knocked out!

So opening your mouth 4 fingers wide.... doesn't make you a better singer.

MadameGascar · 18-04-2012 2:59pm

That I'm not a girl...I'm a hen.

psicic · 18-04-2012 3:13pm

jessiejam wrote: »

If all of this didn't work she would walk along sticking 4 of her fingers in each and everyone of our mouths till we opened wide enough to get the notes out properly.

Luckily she wasn't a priest in a boys school - god knows where those fingers would have ended up!

Wibbs wrote: »

IIRC men could technically, with a lot of medical intervention carry a foetus.

I remember back in Primary School, slightly before the time that movie Twins came out, there was lots and lots of pop science talk about male pregnancy - everything from National Enquirer to actual reputable sources.

I figure there must have been some teachers or ecumenical conference the idea came up at, because I've heard it mentioned in relation to primary school teachers before. My first class teacher - who was near her 60s and was a woman of science and real feminism - was very keen on the idea that men and women might be able to 'share' a pregnancy - the first few months in a male, then finish it off in the female's womb. I remember her wondering about the potential nutrional benefits/drawbacks.... then dressing it up in some sort of spiritual mumbo-jumbo for the thickos in the class in case it got reported back to any of the nuns in the school!

Same teacher was the one that got the school to spend £180 on maps drawn from satellite images that showed the true size of countries (up until then, most of the maps used in our school, at least, made Europe look bigger than it was and reduced the size of Australia and certain other countries for aesthic/political reasons. Hard to believe in this day and age, but once we left that school - boys had to leave after first class - we went back to using the 'wrong' maps, and woe betide any child that tried to tell Christain Brothers that they had seen a more accurate map in a girls school!)

mikemac1 · 18-04-2012 3:49pm

Ah ha Twins, what a great film

All the lads in primary school class were astounded by Schwarzenegger's physique, sure what young lad wouldn't be

And he never slept in a bed, he always slept on the floor

Ah, so that's the key, the Mammy thought I was mad but I slept on the floor too
So did the rest of the lads in the class

mikemac1 · 18-04-2012 3:51pm

psicic wrote: »

I remember back in Primary School, slightly before the time that movie Twins came out, there was lots and lots of pop science talk about male pregnancy - everything from National Enquirer to actual reputable sources.

That was Junior

Twins was a great film, Junior was trash

steddyeddy · 18-04-2012 3:53pm

One of the most incorrect things I was thought (Im not blaming the teachers in the slightest for this) was that traits gained during a life time like faster running ability or increased memory arent passed on to your children.

deise go deo · 18-04-2012 3:54pm

mikemac1 wrote: »

:eek:

I was certain that carr was the recent made up word and gluastain was the old and proper word.
Well you'd think it wouldn't you, just a lazy translation, stick on an extra letter there for carr and it's looks Irish, be grand.

Well there is something I've learned today

English and Irish, and most other languages in Europe share a common ancestory, there are bound to be a few words common between both that mean the same thing.

Same for the word Ród meaning road, looks like a made up word, but it goes right the way back too.

Another interesting thing is when Irish words get borrowed into English.

Ever here an American say 'So Long'? Slán:eek:

shizz · 18-04-2012 3:55pm

psicic wrote: »

Same teacher was the one that got the school to spend £180 on maps drawn from satellite images that showed the true size of countries (up until then, most of the maps used in our school, at least, made Europe look bigger than it was and reduced the size of Australia and certain other countries for aesthic/political reasons. Hard to believe in this day and age, but once we left that school - boys had to leave after first class - we went back to using the 'wrong' maps, and woe betide any child that tried to tell Christain Brothers that they had seen a more accurate map in a girls school!)

I think nearly every map is like that. Obviously except for the specifically made ones. But an average map has all the scales mixed up.

mikemac1 · 18-04-2012 4:10pm

deise go deo wrote: »

Ever here an American say 'So Long'? Slán:eek:

I heard another one

When the Irish arrived in the USA they were poor so lived in the worst parts of the cities, the blacks were there too.

Excuse the spelling; dtuiggeann tú? got picked up by the locals and you hear it nowadays, dig it? Can ya dig it?

Same meaning, do you understand

Don't know if it's true but I suspect it is.

Victor · 18-04-2012 4:21pm

MrSnuffleupagus wrote: »

I also had to argue with a (different) JC teacher because she thought (as the rest of the class did) that to find the difference between a positive and negative number you subtract it

It is, just not the way she said it

20-(-6)=26

Difference, is, by definition, subtraction.

Quazzie wrote: »

So November is in Autumn now? The Equinox marks the middle of the season which means that Summer if May June July which means Spring is February, March, and April.

In Britain and Ireland the start of summer was traditionally 1 May. Other societies and place attach different definitons to the seasons. Remember in Australia, that Christams is at the height of summer.

LordSutch wrote: »

I had heard of this before, but I thought it was an urban myth! but if its true, why 'Gold' (instead of Orange)?

There was a song about 1980 that went on about the green, white and old. It suited ignorant republicans as they could then exclude the orange tradition.

fishy fishy wrote: »

the irish flag used to have a gold harp on it. when it was taken off it was known as green, white and gold. the "orange" instead of "gold" is only fairly recent teaching - it was always thought as green white and gold.

That was a completely different flag: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_harp_flag#Green_harp_flag

maximoose · 18-04-2012 4:24pm

It is actually mental how many people have spelt taught as "thought" in this thread. Mental.

EmatoelDiablo · 18-04-2012 4:31pm

maximoose wrote: »

It is actually mental how many people have spelt taught as "thought" in this thread. Mental.

And I even put it in the fúcking title :rolleyes:

Canard · 18-04-2012 4:31pm

wallpaper12 wrote: »

Ok I believe that because can be used at the start of sentences but in the case you have given it sounds really bad. Something like 'The bank is eroded because the river flows fast' would have been more correct.

Not really...thats besides the point, I'd written more, something like "Because the river flows quickly, the bank is eroded and deposition occurs", which is perfectly fine. My teacher was just nitpicking the because thing though, for no reason.

These Irish -> English things are so cool!

OldNotWIse · 18-04-2012 4:32pm

If you pull out a hair, two grow in it's place...

And also, if you cut your hair, it will grow faster

purpur1 · 18-04-2012 4:38pm

Sex education. Was told its impossible to have sex while a girl is on her rag. Made me confused for ages

retalivity · 18-04-2012 4:42pm

OldNotWIse wrote: »

If you pull out a hair, two grow in it's place... And also, if you cut your hair, it will grow faster

This fallacy is proved by the fact im going bald.

Also, the virgin birth. Now besides the argument against religion as a whole, when I was in primary school someone asked why mary was called the virgin mary and what virgin meant. We were told that virgin meant she had no job as she was disabled and therefore also couldn't have kids. As she looked pretty normal in all the pictures in the religion book, we were then told that the disability was 'inside her' and could not be seen.

some epic truth-mangling there with a little bit of sacrilege thrown in for good measure.

OldNotWIse · 18-04-2012 4:45pm

realies wrote: »

We were told if we didn't do well in our exams, We could end up sweeping the streets.In hindsight its not the worst paid or hard job one can do :-)

We were told (or rather, it was strongly implied on a daily basis for six years lol) that if we got high points the world would be our oyster... High points this, high points that, CAO, honours maths blah de blah bullsh1t... hmm... :rolleyes: I got a (reasonably) good lc (500pts) and have managed to completely fcuk up my life in every possible way :mad:

CardBordWindow · 18-04-2012 4:54pm

mikemac1 wrote: »

I heard another one

When the Irish arrived in the USA they were poor so lived in the worst parts of the cities, the blacks were there too.

Excuse the spelling; dtuiggeann tú? got picked up by the locals and you hear it nowadays, dig it? Can ya dig it?

Same meaning, do you understand

Don't know if it's true but I suspect it is.

I've heard the same about didgeridoo. It's not an Aboriginal word. They use the word Yidaki.
I heard it was derived from the Irish, piobaire dubh (black piper)

Borat_Sagdiyev · 18-04-2012 6:17pm

Wibbs wrote: »

IIRC men could technically, with a lot of medical intervention carry a foetus. Attached to their kidney(again IIRC). Like an artificial ectopic pregnancy kinda thing. So maybe slightly correct? I doubt they could carry it for long though and I seriously doubt they could carry one to anything like full term.

Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But you can't have babies.
Stan: Don't you oppress me.
Reg: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

Source.

Bruce7 · 18-04-2012 6:30pm

dalta5billion wrote: »

Fair enough.

Ok, so her version is foreign to euro = bank buys rate - this is correct.

However, iffff dear Holly walked into her bank with the resulting 75 and five-ninths of a euro, she wouldn't get out 68£ to buy the wonderful contraption.

So I say it's an equation.

x = euros holly needs to get £68 from bank

So it's actually euros to foreign - where we know the exchange rate and the result.

0.85x = 68

x = 68 ÷ 0.85

x = 80

And they say students need to think outside of the box more...

That is correct. The price in the local shop is irrelevant, and so is the rate that the bank buys sterling at.

What does your teacher say the answer is, and why?

psicic · 18-04-2012 6:50pm

mikemac1 wrote: »

That was Junior

Twins was a great film, Junior was trash

Thanks, I did get the two movies confused, but I was talking mid-eighties (Twins-era), not the ninties (Junior-era). The only point of mentioning the movie anyways was to stress it was being talked about by our teachers before the movie came out.

shizz wrote: »

I think nearly every map is like that.

Yeah, there are lots of different ways of showing a map of the world... I think the term is 'projection'. More than 20 years later, though, I couldn't honestly say what type of map it was, other than she was extremely excited because it was based on satellite measurements. (So, I'm fairly confidient it wasn't the standard Mercator map).

Edit: A quick google tells me it could have been a Peters Map, which doesn't really sit with the satellite thing.

kaji · 18-04-2012 6:53pm

Did any of you moaners ever think that maybe the teachers were taking the piss with ye and that ye were too thick to get it at the time?

shizz · 18-04-2012 7:04pm

psicic wrote: »

Yeah, there are lots of different ways of showing a map of the world... I think the term is 'projection'. More than 20 years later, though, I couldn't honestly say what type of map it was, other than she was extremely excited because it was based on satellite measurements. (So, I'm fairly confidient it wasn't the standard Mercator map).

Edit: A quick google tells me it could have been a Peters Map, which doesn't really sit with the satellite thing.

I would be fairly confident it's peters map.

Most incorrect thing you were taught?

Comments