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Comments

  • #652
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Thanks, Realies. And thank YOU for your support, advice and positive attitude - you are a great example to all of us here. :D


  • #653
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    hubba wrote: »
    2 years this week.

    Life is just so different for me off drink that I've no intention of ever going back there.

    And fyi - the 'banter' is a million times better sober with family and friends, or out volunteering or exercising with like minded people! Just sayin'.

    Well done!


  • #654
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    hubba wrote: »
    2 years this week.

    Life is just so different for me off drink that I've no intention of ever going back there.

    And fyi - the 'banter' is a million times better sober with family and friends, or out volunteering or exercising with like minded people! Just sayin'.
    Congrats from me too. As you say, the banter is much more enjoyable when you are in full control of everything you say and most of what you want to hear. Especially among friends and family who are 100% behind you and genuinely wish you well. How many times have we woken up with sick heads and the gradual creeping memory of things we said the night before that we would give ANYTHING to turn the clock back and never have said. Enjoy your nights out now, as I do, and always be aware of the dangers out there. Whenever you feel uneasy just get up and get out of there. Close friends and family will understand and not think any less of you. Keep up the good work fellow escapees and all the best for the future.


  • #655
    Bench Press
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    4 days, in the process of drying out after a bender that lasted 3 years that turned me into a chronic alcoholic and nearly killed me


  • #656
    2lazytogetup
    Registered Users Posts: 844 ✭✭✭2lazytogetup


    How come people always post on this thread a Sunday? Methinks people suspiciously decide to give up then.


  • #657
    Tom_Cruise
    Closed Accounts Posts: 734 ✭✭✭Tom_Cruise


    If you have a problem with alcohol, and then you decide to give it up - you have to be careful and observant to make sure you don't drink again.

    Does this mean that you can never have a life as fulfilling and easy as someone who doesn't have a problem with alcohol? I mean it will always be in the back of your mind that you cant just have a few drinks, and that you cant be complacent with your sobriety - where as a normal drinker never has to worry about such things. Maybe this isn't the best way of describing it but hopefully you'll understand.


  • #658
    tony stark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 543 ✭✭✭tony stark


    I was 4 months off it. Said I'd see how long I could go. Then on Sunday I went on a 14 hour session. Feel absolutely awful now, so low. I can't just have one I have proved to myself. I'm off it forever now. Still waiting for the depression to lift. I had been feeling great for the last 4 months getting fit and eating well in high spirits. I didn't miss the drink thanks to being in a great marriage. But on Sunday I was meeting up with an old friend. Whenever we meet its a mess of drink. Feel sad as I know this friendship is going to go but it has to be done. Don't want to ruin my marriage. Feel terrible having to start from scratch again after 4 months clean. Hopefully reading the posts here will keep me motivated. I had stopped reading them over last two months. I now know I need to keep reading for motivation. In a way I'm glad it happened Sunday as I know for sure I can never just have one.


  • #659
    tony stark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 543 ✭✭✭tony stark


    Also wife's sick of hearing...never again I've learned my lesson. Not fair when you go for a pint and come back 14 hours later. What do you say for reassurance. It definitely was the last time.


  • #660
    Corvo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,704 ✭✭✭Corvo


    Fell off the wagon this week also, very dissapointed. 6 weeks approx. I was off it.


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  • #661
    Bench Press
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    tony stark wrote: »
    I was 4 months off it. Said I'd see how long I could go. Then on Sunday I went on a 14 hour session. Feel absolutely awful now, so low. I can't just have one I have proved to myself. I'm off it forever now. Still waiting for the depression to lift. I had been feeling great for the last 4 months getting fit and eating well in high spirits. I didn't miss the drink thanks to being in a great marriage. But on Sunday I was meeting up with an old friend. Whenever we meet its a mess of drink. Feel sad as I know this friendship is going to go but it has to be done. Don't want to ruin my marriage. Feel terrible having to start from scratch again after 4 months clean. Hopefully reading the posts here will keep me motivated. I had stopped reading them over last two months. I now know I need to keep reading for motivation. In a way I'm glad it happened Sunday as I know for sure I can never just have one.
    the past is the past, forget it about and move on, one day at a time


  • #662
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    tony stark wrote: »
    Also wife's sick of hearing...never again I've learned my lesson. Not fair when you go for a pint and come back 14 hours later. What do you say for reassurance. It definitely was the last time.
    Don't beat yourselves up Tony and Corvo. We are only human and we all make mistakes, but the good news is neither of you WANT to drink so let's get back to positive thinking and try to identify the trigger so it doesn't happen again. I had many false starts before I finally managed, after over thirty years of destructive drinking, to knock it on the head once and for all. There is plenty of professional help out there if you find the going too hard and they helped me to achieve the ten years of sobriety I have behind me now. Believe me, if I could do it ANYBODY can. Best wishes to you both.


  • #663
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    It takes a lot of sobriety time for others to see we are not just going to go back to our old ways.

    In my case, I simply never blamed my family or close friends for not trusting that "this is it." I went through a lot of "this is its" ;) Before it finally was this is it.


  • #664
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    realies wrote: »
    It takes a lot of sobriety time for others to see we are not just going to go back to our old ways.

    In my case, I simply never blamed my family or close friends for not trusting that "this is it." I went through a lot of "this is its" ;) Before it finally was this is it.
    Nail on the head realies. It's just a matter of persisting, on a daily basis. Never give up giving up. Hope is all we have, but that hope can turn to reality if we just keep focused on the big prize. The best thing I found is not to promise giving up to our nearest and dearest, but just to prove, by our actions, that we are trying our best to stay sober, hour by hour, day by day, week by week. When they see we are sincere in our efforts, they will begin to trust us again. It's a hard slog and takes a long time to earn their trust again, but in time they will meet us half way. I let my own people down so many times and saw the hurt in their faces when I betrayed them again that it took a hell of a long time to regain their trust, but in the end I got there and so can anyone. They WANT to believe in us and only we can grant their wish. A day at time. It works.


  • #665
    pa4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 617 ✭✭✭pa4


    156 days so far or 5 months and 6 days :) I made a plan that I wouldn't drink from January the 1st until after my exams which ended two weeks ago.. I actualy have no will to drink now and can't see myself going back on it anytime soon. Lets just hope it was worth it when the results come out :P


  • #666
    hedgehog2
    Registered Users Posts: 317 ✭✭hedgehog2


    10mths now,was half thinking of breaking during the week only crossed my mind really but after reading a few posts over the last few days it has strengthened my will to abstain.
    Keep it up folks,looking forward to my 1yr mark soon and staying on the road of sobriety definitely suits me better.


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  • #667
    TO_ARTHUR!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 509 ✭✭✭TO_ARTHUR!


    138 days (4 months 18 days) I am well proud of myself! Ye should be proud of yourselves as well!


  • #668
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    Nice going. Hope everyone else is ok.


  • #669
    tony stark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 543 ✭✭✭tony stark


    Full week off now. Thank god. Feeling good. Absolutely crap news in work doesn't even make me want to drink. Bad news is bad enough without the depression of hangover for days after a bender.


  • #670
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Deleted

    Great to hear, well done pal.

    It's amazing the life you can create being sober. 3 months off 2 years for me, it's been the best two years of my life without question.


  • #671
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Great to hear, well done pal.

    It's amazing the life you can create being sober. 3 months off 2 years for me, it's been the best two years of my life without question.
    What a beautiful post. Well done and congratulations. We may give you hope but you give us hope too and that's what it's all about. We are doing well, folks. With all the problems we encounter in our lives, just imagine what it would be like for us and our loved ones if we were back living in a bottle again. Onwards and upwards ��


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  • #672
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    I remember peeking into this forum a number of years ago, wondering from my cynical boozers mind who were all these weirdos who didn't drink but there was obviously a reason I was 'peeking' in, to maybe see if I could ever picture myself in their shoes.

    Well 2 years off it now and like KaG, they've been the best ever in terms of life satisfaction, fulfillment and personal growth.

    Now I'm in here with all you great guys looking out at all those like my former self with empathy, but ready to welcome to any of them into the fold, should they decide to take the leap.

    If any of you are 'peeking' now ... have courage and there's support here for you.


  • #673
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    hubba wrote: »
    I remember peeking into this forum a number of years ago, wondering from my cynical boozers mind who were all these weirdos who didn't drink but there was obviously a reason I was 'peeking' in, to maybe see if I could ever picture myself in their shoes.

    Well 2 years off it now and like KaG, they've been the best ever in terms of life satisfaction, fulfillment and personal growth.

    Now I'm in here with all you great guys looking out at all those like my former self with empathy, but ready to welcome to any of them into the fold, should they decide to take the leap.

    If any of you are 'peeking' now ... have courage and there's support here for you.
    I think we were all a bit curious when we were drinking about the mindset of those who had deserted our ranks for sobriety. As you say, maybe we were a bit more than curious and probably secretly envious of the escapees. For my part, I resented these 'traitors' and bad-mouthed them until the day when I joined their ranks. Anyway, for anyone out there who might be peeking and thinking of joining us, please accept our invitation to your new life free from slavery.


  • #674
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Just found this cringe thread from 5 years ago on this very forum! It was always going one way wasn't it. I was so lost back then it was unreal, and constantly lying about anything & everything. I'm rarely dishonest at all these days, maybe the odd little white lie but compared to the bull**** I used to spout protecting my drinking it's unreal.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=54782989


  • #675
    Bench Press
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    17 days now, going well enough so far


  • #676
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Probably the biggest thing I've had to deal with in sobriety happened yesterday. My granddad died last night. Being sober over the last 20 months has given me the chance to spend quality time with him that I wanted to spend with him, which created a bond that we never had before. Compared to when I was actively drinking and the only reason I ever went down to his house was to get money from him or my gran as that is how selfish a person I was. I'm very upset about his death but the power of a program I live by & the people in it has the thought of a drink not even an option.

    So my message to people that are just starting is that if you get through the first few months and then a year anything in life can be dealt with without the need for oblivion. Life becomes what it should have always been, being there for other people & in turn them being there for you. I wish everyone the best.


  • #677
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Probably the biggest thing I've had to deal with in sobriety happened yesterday. My granddad died last night. Being sober over the last 20 months has given me the chance to spend quality time with him that I wanted to spend with him, which created a bond that we never had before. Compared to when I was actively drinking and the only reason I ever went down to his house was to get money from him or my gran as that is how selfish a person I was. I'm very upset about his death but the power of a program I live by & the people in it has the thought of a drink not even an option.

    So my message to people that are just starting is that if you get through the first few months and then a year anything in life can be dealt with without the need for oblivion. Life becomes what it should have always been, being there for other people & in turn them being there for you. I wish everyone the best.

    Fantastic post, KaG. So sorry to hear about your loss but I'm very appreciative that you took the time to share that message with us. Very selfless of you and wise words as such a hard time. I especially like the phrase 'life becomes what it should have always been' - that's exactly how I feel about my new sober life. Thanks, KaG.


  • #678
    ncmc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,852 ✭✭✭ncmc


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Probably the biggest thing I've had to deal with in sobriety happened yesterday. My granddad died last night. Being sober over the last 20 months has given me the chance to spend quality time with him that I wanted to spend with him, which created a bond that we never had before. Compared to when I was actively drinking and the only reason I ever went down to his house was to get money from him or my gran as that is how selfish a person I was. I'm very upset about his death but the power of a program I live by & the people in it has the thought of a drink not even an option.

    So my message to people that are just starting is that if you get through the first few months and then a year anything in life can be dealt with without the need for oblivion. Life becomes what it should have always been, being there for other people & in turn them being there for you. I wish everyone the best.
    I’m very sorry for your loss KaG

    I’m a lurker here rather than a poster, but your post really moved me. The fact that giving up alcohol allowed you to reconnect with your grandfather is amazing. That knowledge will be with you for the rest of your life and I’m sure it meant a lot to your grandfather in his final months. The fact that you’re not even thinking of drinking at such a difficult time shows how strong you are and how far you’ve come. Truly an inspiration to any body either thinking of sobriety or in the early days.


  • #679
    TheKingslayer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 92 ✭✭TheKingslayer


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Probably the biggest thing I've had to deal with in sobriety happened yesterday. My granddad died last night. Being sober over the last 20 months has given me the chance to spend quality time with him that I wanted to spend with him, which created a bond that we never had before. Compared to when I was actively drinking and the only reason I ever went down to his house was to get money from him or my gran as that is how selfish a person I was. I'm very upset about his death but the power of a program I live by & the people in it has the thought of a drink not even an option.

    So my message to people that are just starting is that if you get through the first few months and then a year anything in life can be dealt with without the need for oblivion. Life becomes what it should have always been, being there for other people & in turn them being there for you. I wish everyone the best.

    Thoughts and prayers with you at this time pal.

    Tough times don't last, tough people do.


  • #680
    seanrose
    Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭seanrose


    Hi

    I am after watching the film "Flight" with Denzel Washington and my first thought was to write here.

    The character that he plays is somebody that I can definitely relate to and im sure a lot of people here can relate to

    I wont give to much away but the last 10 minutes of the film I cried and a film I will watch and watch over again when the urge of drink comes upon me and realise how drink can overcome your life and the problems it causes


  • #681
    JonBon27
    Registered Users Posts: 95 ✭✭JonBon27


    471 days:)


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  • #682
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    533 days today!!! :)


  • #683
    Ed The Equalizer
    Registered Users Posts: 577 ✭✭✭Ed The Equalizer


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Probably the biggest thing I've had to deal with in sobriety happened yesterday. My granddad died last night. Being sober over the last 20 months has given me the chance to spend quality time with him that I wanted to spend with him, which created a bond that we never had before. Compared to when I was actively drinking and the only reason I ever went down to his house was to get money from him or my gran as that is how selfish a person I was. I'm very upset about his death but the power of a program I live by & the people in it has the thought of a drink not even an option.

    So my message to people that are just starting is that if you get through the first few months and then a year anything in life can be dealt with without the need for oblivion. Life becomes what it should have always been, being there for other people & in turn them being there for you. I wish everyone the best.

    Thinking of you KaG, I had a similar experience when my great-aunt died when I was 9 months sober, I spent a lot of time with her including sharing overnight duties in the hospital in her last days... couldn't have done it if I was still out drinking.


  • #684
    Ed The Equalizer
    Registered Users Posts: 577 ✭✭✭Ed The Equalizer


    Great to see this thread gaining more and more momentum, keep it up!

    I passed 4 years at the end of May :D


  • #685
    TheKingslayer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 92 ✭✭TheKingslayer


    Anyone watched the film Flight ?

    Loved the quote at the end.
    "This is going to sound real stupid coming from a man in prison. But for the first time in my life, I am free."


  • #686
    Bench Press
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    35 days, will report back in 70, going really well


  • #687
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Four days. Today will be five. Sure tis easy and I've done it regularly, but never with an actual dedicated resolve of "I will NOT drink today". Feels somewhat more resolute and therefore somehow longer...


  • #688
    Bench Press
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    as an aside, I was up in court today for driving offences, which were the result of my drinking, not drink driving but no insurance, failure to produce etc, I got a good result, I must say, only good things are happening to me sinc eI stopped boozing, being honest with myself and being honest with others makes a big difference in life


  • #689
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Four days. Today will be five. Sure tis easy and I've done it regularly, but never with an actual dedicated resolve of "I will NOT drink today". Feels somewhat more resolute and therefore somehow longer...

    One day at a time. In the early days it can also feel like every hour, minute & second. Determination and a will to stop will see you through it. Best of luck


  • #690
    perfectisthe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 289 ✭✭perfectisthe


    It's been 90 days for me today. I gave up for reasons that are probably familiar to many - lost nights, crippling hangovers and the general negative impact it was having on my life.

    So far it's been a very liberating experience. I've had a total change in mindset as regards alcohol, and I'm fully committed to staying off it.

    The first two months were a bit weird socially. I didn't go out with my friends at all because I wanted to stay away from the pub, I just focused my energy on work and getting back into lifting weights. Over the past month though I've been out a good few times, and I have to say I found it no problem at all. I'm lucky that my OH and my friends have all been pretty supportive about my decision.

    I've been keeping up with this thread throughout this time, and I have to say that it's been a big source of inspiration and help. So a big thank you to everyone who's posted in it.


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  • #691
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    perfectisthe wrote: »
    It's been 90 days for me today. I gave up for reasons that are probably familiar to many - lost nights, crippling hangovers and the general negative impact it was having on my life.

    So far it's been a very liberating experience. I've had a total change in mindset as regards alcohol, and I'm fully committed to staying off it.

    The first two months were a bit weird socially. I didn't go out with my friends at all because I wanted to stay away from the pub, I just focused my energy on work and getting back into lifting weights. Over the past month though I've been out a good few times, and I have to say I found it no problem at all. I'm lucky that my OH and my friends have all been pretty supportive about my decision.

    I've been keeping up with this thread throughout this time, and I have to say that it's been a big source of inspiration and help. So a big thank you to everyone who's posted in it.

    Well done

    The part I highlighted most of us would have been the same so don't worry. I had to break ties with some people that just didn't want me to stop even though it was clearly ruining my life. That can happen so don't be shocked great to hear the OH is really supportive that is a huge thing. One saying that has stuck to me in changing how I live and the person I was is this.

    The person you were will drink again, the person you were will have to drink again.

    People like me anyway drank excessively for other reasons that I've only addressed recently(nearly 2 years since I last took a drink!). Another thing you mentioned about exercise I found that AMAZING too, I really got in to that too. Especially running, I was 17 1/2 stone when I quit I'm now a little under 12 and in the best shape of my life hoping to do the Dublin marathon in October. All from living a good life and trying to be there for the people that care about me. Best of luck, one day at a time.


  • #692
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    First weekend and I went out both Friday night and tonight; both in familiar places with drinking buddies. No one passes comment that I'm on the n/a beers. I really do have a pub centred social life, but that doesn't mean it has to be drink centred. I decided to face these locations head on from the very beginning rather than avoid them and dread them. My next step may be one of my favourite craft beer pubs... now that's a challenge.


  • #693
    emmabrighton
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭emmabrighton


    Had my little boys christening on the weekend. We just invited our siblings and their children and the grandparents.

    My mom can be a bit of an auld terror on the drink so it was an alcohol free zone. It is a year and a half off the drink for me and I did a program to help kick start my new life.

    That meant there were no questions asked as to why there was no drink at the party - just fizzy drinks and tea and coffee. We had a great time. Everyone came back to my house for party games and cake. After 2 hours, I was shattered and when everyone did go home, I went straight to bed.

    My hairdresser asked me if I had a baby sitter and would I be heading out after? My immediate response was "fcuk, no" - I was so tired from all the preparation for his christening that I knew that I would be heading to bed for a rest once the party was over.

    But that got me thinking that there are people that treat christenings/childrens birthday parties as an excuse for a booze up. I think that is wrong anyway. Growing up with an alcoholic mother I feel that children and alcohol don't mix, period!

    But, I think that if I was still drinking, even with the very best of intentions I would have gotten rat arsed drinking glass after glass of wine. Other people would have had to taken care of my son, and I would have been completely ashamed the next morning with a crippling hangover to boot.

    I thank god today for my sober life.


  • #694
    ConFurioso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 378 ✭✭ConFurioso


    Emma, that's a great story and happy for you that it worked out. Proof that booze isn't needed at a party to have a good time. :)


  • #695
    DieselPowered
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭DieselPowered


    This thread will only make sense to people who are off the drink and want to be off the drink ;)

    5 months off it now don't miss it at all.I may not stay off it for ever but I can't see it going back to being boozing weekends down the road.


  • #696
    FloatingVoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭FloatingVoter


    Still off it since Jan. 17th ( I'm not counting my pre-planned one night blip on May 7th). While the sun makes the beer gardens tempting, I just remind myself how lousy a hangover feels in hot weather. Even one or two pints of cider on a sunny day leaves me with a nasty headache once I stop.
    I'm actually becoming addicted to those little fruit juice things that you get in Lidl (like Capri-suns only cheaper). Perhaps I'll need a thread for that next :o.


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  • #697
    DieselPowered
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭DieselPowered


    Out of curiousity, is drinking non-alcoholic beer considered 'on the beer'.

    There is a nice weissbier beer out there, very nice to taste and gives the satisfaction of a pint if you want to calm a thirst, while others are just not nice.

    As mentioned, its hard to stay out of beer garden country with the heat wave ;)


  • #698
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DieselPowered wrote: »
    Out of curiousity, is drinking non-alcoholic beer considered 'on the beer'.

    There is a nice weissbier beer out there, very nice to taste and gives the satisfaction of a pint if you want to calm a thirst, while others are just not nice.

    As mentioned, its hard to stay out of beer garden country with the heat wave ;)

    I wouldn't consider it "on the beer" myself but I don't drink it. I loved my beer when I was drinking and I don't want to create unneccessary temptation by drinking that stuff. I've actually come across a few people that went down this route and were back on the real stuff within a month or two.


  • #699
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    I had a non-alcoholic beer a few weeks ago. No big deal as long as your not craving the real stuff.


  • #700
    DieselPowered
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭DieselPowered


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I wouldn't consider it "on the beer" myself. I don't want to create un neccessary temptation by drinking that stuff. I've actually come across a few people that went down this route and were back on the real stuff within a month or two.


    Had 2 non-alcoholic's last night and I have no temptation to go back on to main beer. just wanted something to drink that wasn't minerals at a BBQ, so each to their own I suppose.


  • #701
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DieselPowered wrote: »
    Had 2 non-alcoholic's last night and I have no temptation to go back on to main beer. just wanted something to drink that wasn't minerals at a BBQ, so each to their own I suppose.

    Ah yeah exactly whatever your preference but I genuinely know two people off the top of my head that blamed drinking the non alcoholic stuff as a contributor to going back on the proper stuff. For that reason I just avoid it but I'm sure it's not like that for all people at all.


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