Poem by an Irish Expat In Australia

pedro1234 · 21-11-2014 4:12am

sashafierce wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Could *have* my dear. Not of.

NIMAN · 21-11-2014 4:20am

What is it with the Irish and moaning about their own country?

Personally I think its a great country, and all the better for getting rid of moaners like this punter.

If Ireland is so grim, how come its so popular with tourists and regularly rated as one of the best places to live in the world. Far off fields always seem greener.

Bipolar Joe · 21-11-2014 4:56am

NIMAN wrote: »

What is it with the Irish and moaning about their own country?

Personally I think its a great country, and all the better for getting rid of moaners like this punter.

If Ireland is so grim, how come its so popular with tourists and regularly rated as one of the best places to live in the world. Far off fields always seem greener.

Because the tourists get to go home, the lucky bastards.

Lapin · 21-11-2014 5:53am

I'd rather sit in an empty pub here than put up with this shít....

As the sun burns my skin and the sweat stings my eyes,
Covered in dust and tormented with flies,

Fuck Australia and give me a pint and a paper to read by a nice warm fire looking out at the pissin rain any day.

Canis Lupus · 21-11-2014 7:22am

Lapin wrote: »

I'd rather sit in an empty pub here than put up with this shít....

As the sun burns my skin and the sweat stings my eyes,
Covered in dust and tormented with flies,

Fuck Australia and give me a pint and a paper to read by a nice warm fire looking out at the pissin rain any day.

I get to wear shorts and a tshirt 365 days a year. Sitting here now with a fan on me sipping a vodka and coke and will be putting some pork ribs onto my BBQ in a couple of hours. I can ride my motorbike in some lovely scenery and can cycle my bike without suffering frostbite or coming off on black ice. I live an hour from the beach that I can visit 365 days a year and unless you're a poor schlep doing the rural part of the 457 visa I have no issue with sunburn or flies as my office is air conditioned. Enjoy your empty pub and pissin rain :P

kuntboy · 21-11-2014 8:12am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I get to wear shorts and a tshirt 365 days a year. Sitting here now with a fan on me sipping a vodka and coke and will be putting some pork ribs onto my BBQ in a couple of hours. I can ride my motorbike in some lovely scenery and can cycle my bike without suffering frostbite or coming off on black ice. I live an hour from the beach that I can visit 365 days a year and unless you're a poor schlep doing the rural part of the 457 visa I have no issue with sunburn or flies as my office is air conditioned. Enjoy your empty pub and pissin rain :P

Enjoy your skin cancer and dikchead Aussie friends.

mad muffin · 21-11-2014 8:27am

Don Kedick wrote: »

Even if you google 'racist Australia' you'll see plenty of evidence. Considering their history it's really sad that there's still such a huge level of racism.

It had a good Irish bedrock

Which is evident in this thread. Just a bunch of whinging Irish cnats…

etoughguy · 21-11-2014 8:43am

I presume that was from his junior cert foundation level English exam a few years back?

Canis Lupus · 21-11-2014 8:51am

kuntboy wrote: »

Enjoy your skin cancer and dikchead Aussie friends.

Hey, don't be bitter.

jimgoose · 21-11-2014 8:52am

elefant wrote: »

Agreed. Besides the shockingly bad content, it is also written like a poem a child would write in primary school. What word rhymes with 'shut' teacher?

On par with:
I don't want to see a ghost
It's a sight I fear the most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news.

That... that's brilliant!! :eek:

It captures perfectly the perennial existential dread deep in all our psyches, together with the primitive cave-man need to counteract it - albeit however vainly - with temporary comfort.

whatawaster · 21-11-2014 9:06am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I get to wear shorts and a tshirt 365 days a year. Sitting here now with a fan on me sipping a vodka and coke and will be putting some pork ribs onto my BBQ in a couple of hours. I can ride my motorbike in some lovely scenery and can cycle my bike without suffering frostbite or coming off on black ice. I live an hour from the beach that I can visit 365 days a year and unless you're a poor schlep doing the rural part of the 457 visa I have no issue with sunburn or flies as my office is air conditioned. Enjoy your empty pub and pissin rain :P

I live 5 minutes from a beach that is (wait for it!) also open 365 days a year and is as lovely to walk on in winter as it is in summer.

Having to sit with a fan sounds like hell. Come to Ireland, we have warm summers and "crisp" winters. We also have a thing called "rain" which is really quite lovely most of the time.

We too have some of the best scenery in the world, and if you want to barbeque some meat, at least come over here and get some of the good stuff.

And we have Tayto. And the proper Cadbury chocolate, so there

cloud493 · 21-11-2014 9:56am

That Australia you described sounds rubbish, think I'l stay in the rain.

Macavity. · 21-11-2014 10:14am

You know it's good because the end of the line rhymes with the end of the next one.

Canis Lupus · 21-11-2014 10:35am

whatawaster wrote: »

I live 5 minutes from a beach that is (wait for it!) also open 365 days a year and is as lovely to walk on in winter as it is in summer.

Having to sit with a fan sounds like hell. Come to Ireland, we have warm summers and "crisp" winters. We also have a thing called "rain" which is really quite lovely most of the time.

We too have some of the best scenery in the world, and if you want to barbeque some meat, at least come over here and get some of the good stuff.

And we have Tayto. And the proper Cadbury chocolate, so there

Hush your pasty, vitamin D deprived face.

ps: Taytos are gross

caustic 1 · 21-11-2014 10:40am

Poem refers to Dublin rather than the whole of Ireland.

mad muffin · 21-11-2014 10:41am

I love how the thread started with a poem by a drongo ex paddy and has now become an Aussie bashing thread.

Typical Oirish shíte :rolleyes:

jimgoose · 21-11-2014 11:06am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Hush your pasty, vitamin D deprived face.

ps: Taytos are gross

Look, if you're going to write a poem at least do it properly. Here's an example of how it's done, by Paddy Kavanagh:

My black hills have never seen the sun rising,
Eternally they look north towards Armagh.
Lot's wife would not be salt if she had been
Incurious as my black hills that are happy
When dawn whitens Glassdrummond chapel.

My hills hoard the bright shillings of March
While the sun searches in every pocket.
They are my Alps and I have climbed the Matterhorn
With a sheaf of hay for three perishing calves
In the field under the Big Forth of Rocksavage.

The sleety winds fondle the rushy beards of Shancoduff
While the cattle-drovers sheltering in the Featherna Bush
Look up and say: "Who owns them hungry hills
That the water-hen and snipe must have forsaken?
A poet? Then by heavens he must be poor."
I hear, and is my heart not badly shaken?

Lapin · 21-11-2014 12:01pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I get to wear shorts and a tshirt 365 days a year.

Sounds like Butlins for Village People fans.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Sitting here now with a fan on me sipping a vodka and coke

Makes my pint in a cosy pub by a turf fire sound even nicer.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

...and will be putting some pork ribs onto my BBQ in a couple of hours.

As its Friday, Myself and herself will probably head out to one of dozens of excellent little restaurants here in Galway this evening and a nice meal without paying the extortionate prices we did to do the same thing down under.

As for BBQs, most people here are sick of them after the fine Summer we had, but will no doubt look forward to them again by the time next Summer comes around.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I can ride my motorbike in some lovely scenery and can cycle my bike without suffering frostbite or coming off on black ice.

I can do the same as there is no frost here, let alone black ice. I'm not into motorbikes but I can get a flight to cities around Europe for the price of a meal in Melbourne, head off for a weekend and be in any of 20 different countries in less then two and a half hours. Beats being stuck on a giant land mass where a short haul flight only takes you to another part of the same country.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I live an hour from the beach that I can visit 365 days a year

I live across the road from the beach. Took the dog for a run and a swim there this morning.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

and unless you're a poor schlep doing the rural part of the 457 visa I have no issue with sunburn or flies as my office is air conditioned.

Damn - You got me there.

I don't have an office. But I hear the have this air con gimmick here as well. :pac:

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Enjoy your empty pub and pissin rain :P

Roll on 4.43 this afternoon

coffee_cake · 21-11-2014 12:05pm

Maybe one day il return to stay.

If you're going to have your poem published would you not at least check for stuff like "il" instead of "I'll"

coffee_cake · 21-11-2014 12:11pm

also it's a crap poem

SEPT 23 1989 · 21-11-2014 12:20pm

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--dy3hfRhT--/660998891194573712.jpg

Generic Dreadhead · 21-11-2014 12:35pm

Anyone else not bother reading the poem and just read the most thanked posts in the 1st few pages of the thread? :pac:

folbotcar · 21-11-2014 12:41pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I get to wear shorts and a tshirt 365 days a year. Sitting here now with a fan on me sipping a vodka and coke and will be putting some pork ribs onto my BBQ in a couple of hours. I can ride my motorbike in some lovely scenery and can cycle my bike without suffering frostbite or coming off on black ice. I live an hour from the beach that I can visit 365 days a year and unless you're a poor schlep doing the rural part of the 457 visa I have no issue with sunburn or flies as my office is air conditioned. Enjoy your empty pub and pissin rain :P

I saw someone this morning riding his bike in his shorts. Ok it was raining but there was no black ice or frostbite and frankly the last we had any blackice round here was in 2010. I didn't even need to turn on the heater in my car. I live five minutes from the beach which I can visit 365 days a year and within in a hour of me are several more world class beaches. Ok the sun doesn't beat down every day but we had a good summer and autumn. I don't have a motorbike anymore but if I did there is world class scenery and biker roads right on my doorstep. We have vodka and coke and BBQ ribs too. The pubs are not empty round here and there is nothing better enjoying your whiskey in front of a roaring fire in a convivial Irish pub.

So by all mean enjoy Australia but there's no need to slag off Ireland.

As for the 'poem' I was knocking out 'poems' like that when I was 12 years old. My English teacher pointedly remarked that I was a great rhymer. He didn't say poet because I'm not one any more than our friend is.

A certain class of expat always feel the need to run down Ireland as if they feel the need to justify their exile. I think it's particularly common when life over there isn't the bed of roses they expected.

nxbyveromdwjpg · 21-11-2014 1:05pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I get to wear shorts and a tshirt 365 days a year. Sitting here now with a fan on me sipping a vodka and coke and will be putting some pork ribs onto my BBQ in a couple of hours. I can ride my motorbike in some lovely scenery and can cycle my bike without suffering frostbite or coming off on black ice. I live an hour from the beach that I can visit 365 days a year and unless you're a poor schlep doing the rural part of the 457 visa I have no issue with sunburn or flies as my office is air conditioned. Enjoy your empty pub and pissin rain :P

Your sausages are ****e over there though

sashafierce · 21-11-2014 1:11pm

This post has been deleted.

old_aussie · 21-11-2014 1:15pm

super_furry wrote: »

Weird. I could have sworn I was out in town with my friends last weekend and had a great night in a series of packed pubs.

From thias thread Im get the impression that life in Ireland is all about living for the night out in the pub, that there is nothing more to life in Ireland than going to the pub.

jimgoose · 21-11-2014 1:15pm

sashafierce wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

That, and twunting on about the 40-degree heat and compulsory barbecues every five minutes as if they were good things. All this standardized compulsory "fun" would bore the ballacks off me quare lively, I must say. :pac:

bodice ripper · 21-11-2014 1:32pm

“And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying.”

Lapin · 21-11-2014 1:43pm

Cormac... wrote: »

Anyone else not bother reading the poem and just read the most thanked posts in the 1st few pages of the thread? :pac:

Its only five verses. We're not on about the Canterbury Tales here.

It would take a lot longer to read the most thanked posts in the first few pages.

Having said that, the poem isn't worth reading. Its shíte.

Thats my critical analysis of the thing anyway.

keithclancy · 21-11-2014 1:50pm

Maybe he was from Cavan.

Poem by an Irish Expat In Australia

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