What do attractive girls think about being checked out by hopeless people?

Galwayguy35 · 28-11-2015 7:48pm

Greenmachine wrote: »

What exactly is a hopeless person? Romantic? Not good looking? Not cool? Doesn't have the right phone? Doesn't drink in the right bars? Not enough followers on twitter? Wrong clothes? Bad hair? Unemployed? Doesn't know Kim Kardashian is?

In certain circumstance, I have ended up working casually with girls who most guys would rate 10/10, with catwalk good looks and figure, without airs or graces about them( on film sets as an extra). In one case she really wore her heart on heart sleeve ended up, telling me how happy she was in her marriage etc. I can promise you I am no oil painting, but she was pushing this whole conversation and did try to kiss me at the end of the work day. I made my excused and left.

Funny way of showing she was happy in the marriage if she was going in for the shift with you at work.

Azalea · 28-11-2015 7:51pm

sup_dude wrote: »

You know what, I am attractive. It took me a very very long time to realise it (21 years). Not only had I myself convinced I was ugly by secondary school, but I had completely accepted it and was completely ready for a single life when I left secondary school after not one boy showed any bit of interest in me up until that time. I was the only person that year who didn't have a date for the debs. I was even bullied where my complete lack of boys was a favourite topic, so it was really solidified in my mind that I was ugly and that was that.
When I went to uni, it was a very weird experience. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever had any attention from the opposite gender, and since I'm not trying to be modest in this post, I got a lot of it. It was overwhelming. I kept coming up with excuses for it such as it being dark in a nightclub or that they're just taking the piss, before eventually accepting it. I still didn't believe I was goodlooking as such. I mean, I had spent my whole life being told I had any looks at all by only my mother and family, but being told I was ugly by my "friends". However, after 4 years of it (including getting an amazing boyfriend), I was forced to admit that maybe I wasn't so ugly after all.
Now? Next week I'm going into a modelling agency in order to discuss a signing. It wasn't something I asked for, the agent found me.
So yes, I am attractive and I think the mentality this country (and a lot of others have) that someone thinking they're attractive is somehow wrong, is one of the main reasons so many young girls (and boys) have deep rooted insecurities. I don't mean bigheadedness or egotism or the "yeah, I'm just amazing", but I don't believe there's anything wrong with being able to admit that you're attractive. Heck, it took me years to be able to entertain the notion. Even now, I still get periods where my self esteem collapses again, but if I were to give into the idea that we shouldn't admit we're attractive, I would never come out of those lapses. I think this notion we put on ourselves that we shouldn't be allowed to think we're goodlooking, is one of the main reasons so many people have problems with how they look.

Yeah I wasn't a pretty child or teenager which affected the ego, but I got better looking and more confident and now I like how I look.

Tasden · 28-11-2015 7:58pm

sup_dude wrote: »

Now? Next week I'm going into a modelling agency in order to discuss a signing. It wasn't something I asked for, the agent found me.
So yes, I am attractive and I think the mentality this country (and a lot of others have) that someone thinking they're attractive is somehow wrong, is one of the main reasons so many young girls (and boys) have deep rooted insecurities. I don't mean bigheadedness or egotism or the "yeah, I'm just amazing", but I don't believe there's anything wrong with being able to admit that you're attractive.

That's so exciting!

good luck with it!

Yeah people have a weird mentality about looks in this country. The amount of times I've said so and so is beautiful or whatever and someone would say "ooh not as pretty as you" or something along the lines, as if it's somehow impossible to find another person attractive and not question your own attractiveness.

I can admit I'm not the best looking person, I'm not hideous either (i hope!) but if I say someone else is attractive its not being said out of jealousy or insecurity around my own looks, its just an observation. And in nine times out of ten, the person hasn't done any work to make themselves that way, they just so happen to have been born with a face that is aesthetically pleasing to those looking at it, it's hardly an achievement that others should feel intimidated or jealous about! :pac: same with admitting you're attractive, what's wrong with saying "i was pretty lucky to have been born with such attractive body parts!"

Medusa22 · 28-11-2015 8:03pm

Azalea wrote: »

Yeah I wasn't a pretty child or teenager which affected the ego, but I got better looking and more confident and now I like how I look.

I really wasn't a good looking teenager either, bad teeth, glasses, unibrow going on and had my inhaler with me (I was like the classic nerd :P), it wasn't a good look. But I got the teeth fixed, I like my glasses (and I wear contacts occasionally) and I found a pair of tweezers and some nair :pac: Even when I was heavier I still got attention on a night out but I usually dismissed it as men being drunk and although I didn't get a lot of attention day to day, I never had trouble getting into relationships or having ONS.

Now, I've lost the weight and I do find myself getting more attention but I find it very difficult to decide objectively speaking if I am attractive, growing up I was told so many times that I was ugly that I fully believed it. Now, as an adult, I do get attention from men and it isn't excessive or anything but it would lead me to believe that I'm certainly not hideous, in fact if I'm honest I often look in the mirror and I like what I see, but then at other times I'm unsure.

MilesMorales1 · 28-11-2015 8:25pm

Medusa22 wrote: »

Ah Miles, you shouldn't feel that way about yourself, regardless of what you look like, easier said than done I know, of course.

I just accept the truth and don't waste my time going after things I won't get, it saves in the long run

I used to be even worse, I used to be pig ugly/not have a great personality, and I used to be hugely obese. At least I lost the weight :pac:

wakka12 · 28-11-2015 8:39pm

Is anyone else completely unsure where they fall on the looks scale? I get so many signs that Im ugly and then so many others that Im attractive.. So I honestly have no clue. Ive always been insecure about my looks and Ive definitely improved but Ive still been called ugly ,horrible, cute, adorable, hot ,handsome ,sexy and everything in between since I started college, by people of all genders, ages, races and backgrounds.. both online and in person

kfallon · 28-11-2015 8:41pm

wakka12 wrote: »

Is anyone else completely unsure where they fall on the looks scale? I get so many signs that Im ugly and then so many others that Im attractive.. So I honestly have no clue. Ive always been insecure about my looks and Ive definitely improved but Ive still been called ugly ,horrible, cute, adorable, hot ,handsome ,sexy and everything in between since I started college, by people of all genders, ages, races and backgrounds.. both online and in person

Na I know where I am and it's not on the side of the scale where we'd all like to be! Oh well, them's the breaks......

wakka12 · 28-11-2015 8:43pm

I realise looks are subjective to some extent and people always say oh she might be gods gift to one man and a minger to another but really this isn't so true. We all know a reasonably attractive person when we see one, its whats generally accepted as 'conventional attractiveness' . Like sure you might think somebodys cute and somebody else might pass on them but for instance I doubt theres anyone who thinks emma watsons horrible looking and then I doubt theres many who think steve buschemi is hot stuff

Yakkyda · 28-11-2015 9:04pm

Tasden wrote: »

This is so true, I absolutely hate those two weird dimple things on my lower back, would like a normal back, a few guys over the years have said that they actually really love them- not just on me, on any woman! Although maybe they were just saying it so I'd feel less bad about my nasty back :pac:

Haha, they are actually very, very attractive Imo. Eyes, personality are what hook me but yeah, physical attributes deffo play a major part in initial attraction.

I've punched above me weight a few times, once memorably whilst in the the city centre (in the trackie bottoms to boot), I'm no oil painting but my personality won out. We got talking about books and the like, she was almost shocked that I'd read the stuff I read. Never judge a book by its cover, likewise never stare/leery at a woman, it's creepy as fcuk.

If somebody doesn't take it as a compliment (from someone "below their station" so to speak) and can't be polite in their rejection, they are most likely not worth pursuing. Stunning looks aren't the be all and end all...

28-11-2015 9:06pm

Tasden wrote: »

This is so true, I absolutely hate those two weird dimple things on my lower back, would like a normal back, a few guys over the years have said that they actually really love them- not just on me, on any woman! Although maybe they were just saying it so I'd feel less bad about my nasty back :pac:

You're not alone, I've got the dimples too. I actually thought most people do, no?

I hate people labelling either themselves or others as hopeless, nobody is. Unless you're a repulsive hateful person with no redeeming features at all, there is someone out there who will like you. Maybe not your looks to start with, but would come to like you if you're a half-decent skin.

I'm an average looking girl, and that's fine by me. I think I have enough other stuff going for me to make up for my averageness so I don't dwell on not being a supermodel. One of the secrets to avoiding complete insecurity is to avoid comparing yourself with others, that is the road to self-loathing, if you're at all lacking in confidence.

Tasden · 28-11-2015 9:13pm

Candie wrote: »

You're not alone, I've got the dimples too. I actually thought most people do, no?
.

They're just more prominent looking on some people i think

Figbiscuithead · 28-11-2015 9:16pm

wakka12 wrote: »

Is anyone else completely unsure where they fall on the looks scale? I get so many signs that Im ugly and then so many others that Im attractive.. So I honestly have no clue. Ive always been insecure about my looks and Ive definitely improved but Ive still been called ugly ,horrible, cute, adorable, hot ,handsome ,sexy and everything in between since I started college, by people of all genders, ages, races and backgrounds.. both online and in person

I'd say most people might have an idea but many don't. My boyfriend doesn't like how he looks at all and no amount of telling him he's gorgeous will change that, unfortunately. Some people don't see themselves as they really are when they look in the mirror.

Medusa22 · 28-11-2015 9:16pm

Candie wrote: »

You're not alone, I've got the dimples too. I actually thought most people do, no?

I hate people labelling either themselves or others as hopeless, nobody is. Unless you're a repulsive hateful person with no redeeming features at all, there is someone out there who will like you. Maybe not your looks to start with, but would come to like you if you're a half-decent skin.

I'm an average looking girl, and that's fine by me. I think I have enough other stuff going for me to make up for my averageness so I don't dwell on not being a supermodel. One of the secrets to avoiding complete insecurity is to avoid comparing yourself with others, that is the road to self-loathing, if you're at all lacking in confidence.

You just keep getting better and better, my love

Fox_In_Socks · 28-11-2015 9:16pm

Azalea wrote: »

Putting on a bit of weight actually made me look better - went from being really skinny and kinda "angular" to softer-looking. That was just me though. Not saying being really skinny makes everyone look bad or anything.

Most people fall in the middle though (I think that includes Emma Watson - I think she's pretty but not stunning the way she's made out to be) - attractiveness being subjective is more applicable then. But yeah, there are objectively beautiful people - not everyone will fancy them, but that doesn't change that they're beautiful. Far more of them than "ugly" people. I think very few people are ugly.

Then you haven't met Daddy "Ploppy the Slopper"?:pac:

You may check me out ladies but don't touch what you can't afford.

Erm?

Anyone?

Yakkyda · 28-11-2015 9:16pm

Tasden wrote: »

They're just more prominent looking on some people i think

They're just deadly I think.

cantdecide · 28-11-2015 9:20pm

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

Then you haven't met Daddy "Ploppy the Slopper"?:pac:

His skin diseases are fascinating.

28-11-2015 9:20pm

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

You may check me out ladies but don't touch what you can't afford.

50c?

99c, final offer!

Tasden · 28-11-2015 9:22pm

Yakkyda wrote: »

They're just deadly I think.

Well i think that proves perfectly the poster's point from earlier that some people like what you personally might hate, and that's cool

Paddy Cow · 28-11-2015 9:28pm

I think attractive girls aren't that shallow op. Couples tend to be about the same level of attractiveness but in couples where one is obviously better looking, the women tend to be the better looking one. You don't see that many handsome men with less attractive women.

Fox_In_Socks · 28-11-2015 9:31pm

Candie wrote: »

50c?

99c, final offer!

99 is actually the ice cream that many people compare me to, thank you!:P

http://www.irishexaminer.com/media/images/i/IceCreamConeDENISMINIHANE_large.jpg

Yakkyda · 28-11-2015 9:41pm

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I think attractive girls aren't that shallow op. Couples tend to be about the same level of attractiveness but in couples where one is obviously better looking, the women tend to be the better looking one. You don't see that many handsome men with less attractive women.

I'm sure there's plenty of examples of attractive guys marrying wimmin that look like the arse end of a skip truck. Money is the factor there I'd imagine, same way there's pig ugly rich auld fcukers with —30 year old wives. No love there.

Greenmachine · 28-11-2015 10:57pm

No idea how the thread got to talking about back dimples. Have never even heard of them. But two posters kindly posted them. Can't see the appeal, but never come across them, not seen them in the flesh might not be doing them an justice. A cursory google suggest they tend to be found on skinnier people, no one has any mentioned my having any, and I can't exactly see my own back. Different strokes and all that. As for the word Hopeless.

29-11-2015 12:09am

wakka12 wrote: »

I realise looks are subjective to some extent and people always say oh she might be gods gift to one man and a minger to another but really this isn't so true. We all know a reasonably attractive person when we see one, its whats generally accepted as 'conventional attractiveness' . Like sure you might think somebodys cute and somebody else might pass on them but for instance I doubt theres anyone who thinks emma watsons horrible looking and then I doubt theres many who think steve buschemi is hot stuff

Poor Steve

Azalea · 29-11-2015 12:11am

I honestly don't think he's that bad looking! Fairly average-looking. He has really tired eyes with dark circles - might be a medical condition. I'd bet a bit of concealer on those babies and he'd look grand!

wakka12 · 29-11-2015 12:13am

Azalea wrote: »

I honestly don't think he's that bad looking! Fairly average-looking. He has really tired eyes with dark circles - might be a medical condition. I'd bet a bit of concealer on those babies and he'd look grand!

I suppose. He usually plays seedy or strange characters which doesn't help.

29-11-2015 12:15am

Azalea wrote: »

I honestly don't think he's that bad looking! Fairly average-looking. He has really tired eyes with dark circles - might be a medical condition. I'd bet a bit of concealer on those babies and he'd look grand!

I dunno... He has the look of someone who's been dead about a week.

jimgoose · 29-11-2015 12:17am

I heard attractive girls have that multi-spectrum vision thing like in Predator. So yes, they can actually see if you're playing nervously with your mickey while you stand there trying to think of something devastatingly cool to say. Oh well...

Canterelle · 29-11-2015 12:17am

Steve buscemi has character! Sure he's not a conventional "hot guy" but I'd take him over the likes of Brad Pitt any day!

Fox_In_Socks · 29-11-2015 12:41am

What if Steve checked you out...how would the average woman feel? Or man for that matter?

wakka12 · 29-11-2015 12:56am

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

What if Steve checked you out...how would the average woman feel? Or man for that matter?

Id feel very uncomfortable due to him being nearly triple my age..but I don't take offence to somebody checking me out just because I don't think theyre good looking..

Figbiscuithead · 29-11-2015 12:59am

Deleted User wrote: »

I dunno... He has the look of someone who's been dead about a week.

Dead. So hot right now. Or cold. Depending on how long it's been :-/

Azalea · 29-11-2015 1:14am

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

What if Steve checked you out...how would the average woman feel? Or man for that matter?

I'd probably say I think he's a great actor.

29-11-2015 1:19am

Someone's going to need to define "checking you out". Is it just staring like I think backwards man asked? Or is it something more?

Fox_In_Socks · 29-11-2015 1:22am

Azalea wrote: »

I'd probably say I think he's a great actor.

Rather slippery of you there, Azalea!

How about Ryan Tubridy checking you out while wearing a Christmas jumper? As he drives by in his souped up Honda Civic boy racer with Jay Z pumping out the window?

Very specific I know:pac:

Azalea · 29-11-2015 1:28am

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

Rather slippery of you there, Azalea!

Well in fairness it's what he's known for, and he is a great actor. I'd say the same to anyone I encountered whose work I admire!

How about Ryan Tubridy checking you out while wearing a Christmas jumper? As he drives by in his souped up Honda Civic boy racer with Jay Z pumping out the window?

Very specific I know:pac:

I'd probably just say "Hi Ryan!" He seems like a nice fella in fairness, IMO. Fianna Fáil shilling aside...

retro:electro · 29-11-2015 3:18am

I have good days and bad, I put my picture up here in the lookalikes thread and got some funny private messages lol! I try not to think about my looks too much to be honest. When someone smiles at me I smile back, I don't think "ooh they think I'm hot", I just think awh that's nice.

harry Bailey esq · 29-11-2015 3:28am

anna080 wrote: »

I have good days and bad, I put my picture up here in the lookalikes thread and got some funny private messages lol! I try not to think about my looks too much to be honest. When someone smiles at me I smile back, I don't think "ooh they think I'm hot", I just think awh that's nice.

I lost my virginity to a girl called anna who was born in 1980 :eek: :eek:

beks101 · 29-11-2015 4:16am

sup_dude wrote: »

You know what, I am attractive. It took me a very very long time to realise it (21 years). Not only had I myself convinced I was ugly by secondary school, but I had completely accepted it and was completely ready for a single life when I left secondary school after not one boy showed any bit of interest in me up until that time. I was the only person that year who didn't have a date for the debs. I was even bullied where my complete lack of boys was a favourite topic, so it was really solidified in my mind that I was ugly and that was that.
When I went to uni, it was a very weird experience. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever had any attention from the opposite gender, and since I'm not trying to be modest in this post, I got a lot of it. It was overwhelming. I kept coming up with excuses for it such as it being dark in a nightclub or that they're just taking the piss, before eventually accepting it. I still didn't believe I was goodlooking as such. I mean, I had spent my whole life being told I had any looks at all by only my mother and family, but being told I was ugly by my "friends". However, after 4 years of it (including getting an amazing boyfriend), I was forced to admit that maybe I wasn't so ugly after all.
Now? Next week I'm going into a modelling agency in order to discuss a signing. It wasn't something I asked for, the agent found me.
So yes, I am attractive and I think the mentality this country (and a lot of others have) that someone thinking they're attractive is somehow wrong, is one of the main reasons so many young girls (and boys) have deep rooted insecurities. I don't mean bigheadedness or egotism or the "yeah, I'm just amazing", but I don't believe there's anything wrong with being able to admit that you're attractive. Heck, it took me years to be able to entertain the notion. Even now, I still get periods where my self esteem collapses again, but if I were to give into the idea that we shouldn't admit we're attractive, I would never come out of those lapses. I think this notion we put on ourselves that we shouldn't be allowed to think we're goodlooking, is one of the main reasons so many people have problems with how they look.

Ah what a lovely refreshing attitude. Fair play to ya!

It is the unmentionable in Ireland really. Much like mentioning or celebrating your own accomplishments, it puts people on edge. Maybe it's down to our collective history of being put down as a nation, the underdog thing. Or the parochial nature of the place.

I think I always thought of myself as attractive. No major traffic stopper and not about to sign any modelling contracts, but I've probably always had a relatively healthy self image that way. I think it's everything to do with what you hear as a child and my mother always thought I was only deadly. It kills me a bit inside when I hear about the bullying others had to endure about their looks, especially by family members or close 'friends'. That probably would have killed any self confidence I ever developed.

All the same it was never impressed on me as something I should hold in any major esteem. Just, wasn't I lucky to have my mother's eyes or that lovely thick hair or whatever. But there's more important things to worry about. Like getting a good education and then a good job and developing a a decent sense of independence and integrity. Things you have to work hard on, things that will stay with you long after your hair/teeth start falling out and you lose that youthful glow.

Azalea · 29-11-2015 4:32am

pickarooney wrote: »

Because that's simple isn't, being just nice enough so that some hopeless ****er won't get ideas above his station. It's up to the uggo to aim within his own league and not get the hump when a pretty girl does not want to bang him.

Quite the interpretation/inference/implication (all the i's)!

Nothing about whom he "should" be checking out, or "leagues" or whatever - just in reference to individual such incidents: if the woman does not fancy him, she can't help that, but it would be **** for her to be rude also. It isn't always simple, no, but it's the most ideal way to address the situation in my opinion. At times, if she isn't very receptive she's considered an ice queen; if she's friendly she's a tease. Damned do, damned don't. So, best approach is somewhere in the middle.

I don't envy guys doing the chatting-up thing and women who don't feel an attraction to them shouldn't be rude but shouldn't be made to feel bad about this involuntary feeling either.

ThinkProgress · 29-11-2015 6:16am

Azalea wrote: »

I don't envy guys doing the chatting-up thing and women who don't feel an attraction to them shouldn't be rude but shouldn't be made to feel bad about this involuntary feeling either.

I've never chatted a girl up... I've always let them initiate. Probably makes me a bit of an odd male in that respect.

I'm not really attracted to shy quiet women anyway, so it's really never been an issue for me!

I watch other guys desperately chasing women and it looks a bit tragic to me at times... Self control and composure are attractive qualities in a person - regardless of gender!

Frucht · 29-11-2015 9:23am

ThinkProgress wrote: »

I've never chatted a girl up... I've always let them initiate. Probably makes me a bit of an odd male in that respect.

I'm not really attracted to shy quiet women anyway, so it's really never been an issue for me!

I watch other guys desperately chasing women and it looks a bit tragic to me at times... Self control and composure are attractive qualities in a person - regardless of gender!

You can chat up women without desperately chasing. If you don't put yourself in the driving seat you can't choose who you want to talk to, you are just passively hoping something happens. I think it's therapeutic and fulfilling to take action and to be assertive rather than passive.

My attitude when approaching a woman is that I want to go over and talk to her and find out if I like her, she still has to win me over though, my mind is far from made up, but first and foremost I'm going to have fun regardless and that's always my priority. Whether she rejects me, I reject her, we hook up or whatever, I'll be having fun either way.

ThinkProgress · 29-11-2015 10:09am

Frucht wrote: »

You can chat up women without desperately chasing. If you don't put yourself in the driving seat you can't choose who you want to talk to, you are just passively hoping something happens. I think it's therapeutic and fulfilling to take action and to be assertive rather than passive.

My attitude when approaching a woman is that I want to go over and talk to her and find out if I like her, she still has to win me over though, my mind is far from made up, but first and foremost I'm going to have fun regardless and that's always my priority. Whether she rejects me, I reject her, we hook up or whatever, I'll be having fun either way.

Oh yeah I wasn't trying to say every guy acts desperate. But the vast majority probably do from what I've seen.

It's just not in my personality to go chasing a woman in very obvious and open manner. My attitude is that you need to let relationships happen in a more organic way...

Plus people can be very fake with each other in those situations... You rarely see the real person from a forced interaction.

I was around my current GF for several weeks before I gave her any indication that I was into her. And even after that, I still teased her and played games with her... (In a fun way, not mean or anything)

You become friends with someone first, then you find out if there's something else there.

Too many people hook up really quick, then slowly realise there's nothing much beyond the physical.

Wibbs · 29-11-2015 10:35am

*aside*

Yakkyda wrote: »

Never judge a book by its cover,

Not singling you out Y, but I could never understand that phrase even when I heard it as a kid. I mean the title is there for all too see, so…

/aside.

Pac1Man · 29-11-2015 11:26am

Am I the only one who finds it odd to smile at strangers? I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.

Yakkyda · 29-11-2015 1:30pm

Pac1Man wrote: »

Am I the only one who finds it odd to smile at strangers? I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.

I do, it confuses the fcuk outta people.

Menas · 29-11-2015 3:24pm

Pac1Man wrote: »

Am I the only one who finds it odd to smile at strangers? I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.

I have a rotten memory for names and faces. So when I am in my home town I just walk round like a simpleton with a smile on my face and nod at everyone.

Dont want to offend anyone who knows me by ignoring them.

The rest must think I am a bit touched. Friendly, but touched.

cantdecide · 29-11-2015 6:30pm

I do realise that this may sound a bit weird but I was meeting a mate for a coffee in town today and I decided to smile at a lady or two just for the purpose of experimentation. And 4 out of 4 smiled back. I found this intriguing.

I'd normally rather die than intrude but today I decided to just behave more confidently than I probably am and surprisingly nothing bad happened. It's not like I had to draw attention to myself or anything- maybe some people are just happy to engage with those around.

pappyodaniel · 29-11-2015 6:51pm

katemarch wrote: »

I always like being admired. I smile back. They haven't a hope, but why be mean? It's still a compliment!

Are you attractive?

Precious flower · 29-11-2015 7:21pm

Tasden wrote: »

They're just more prominent looking on some people i think

I have them too, but I think they look weird.:o I couldn't believe when I Googled it and it actually had a name and is considered a sign of beauty!

29-11-2015 7:49pm

i wouldn't consider myself attractive but I think it's flattering when anyone checks you out - personality can win over looks sometimes the less good looking someone is the more they treasure you. Not so good looking people's compliments and stares are equally as nice as good looking peoples

What do attractive girls think about being checked out by hopeless people?

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