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How much would you change to keep a man?

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Comments

  • #52
    Pyr0
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    The thing about weight i don't get, if the girl was average size when the started going out, then piled it on over the years out of pure laziness would the guy still be in the wrong asking the girl to lose weight 'cause he's finding his attraction to her dwindling ? Would it be alright for a girl to say it to a man about his weight if he's getting a belly and what not ?.

    If my girlfriend started gaining weight steadily over the years and I was unhappy with it, I'd say it to her and let her know i'm not happy with it. I'm pretty sure she'd do the same thing, and I'd understand that.


  • #53
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Pyr0 wrote: »
    The thing about weight i don't get, if the girl was average size when the started going out, then piled it on over the years out of pure laziness would the guy still be in the wrong asking the girl to lose weight 'cause he's finding his attraction to her dwindling ? Would it be alright for a girl to say it to a man about his weight if he's getting a belly and what not ?.

    If my girlfriend started gaining weight steadily over the years and I was unhappy with it, I'd say it to her and let her know i'm not happy with it. I'm pretty sure she'd do the same thing, and I'd understand that.

    It's within a partner's right to tell their other half that something they're doing is affecting the relationship. So, if your partner was to put on weight and it made you feel less attracted towards them, to the point where it was maybe damaging your sex life or making you want to look elsewhere then it's entirely your obligation to tell them that, for the sake of the relationship - whether you're male or female.


  • #54
    Pyr0
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Yeah thats what I think completely, but i've heard a few people say "You should never point out your girlfriends weight, unless its for a good reason" type of stuff, just wondering if anyone agreed with that type of attitude.


  • #55
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Pyr0 wrote: »
    Yeah thats what I think completely, but i've heard a few people say "You should never point out your girlfriends weight, unless its for a good reason" type of stuff
    Weight gain would be a good reason in and of itself in my opinion.


  • #56
    Blush_01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    Pyr0 wrote: »
    Yeah thats what I think completely, but i've heard a few people say "You should never point out your girlfriends weight, unless its for a good reason" type of stuff, just wondering if anyone agreed with that type of attitude.

    Would your dwindling attraction and the resultant jeopardy to your relationship not be a good reason to mention it? I'm no skinnymalink but I can understand and appreciate how certain changes you go through in a relationship can adjust that relationship. Piling on weight can reduce how attractive you are to some people - that's their prerogative. I don't think anyone should be with someone they're not happy with, for whatever reason. If you're not happy, you should try to become happy. If pointing out an issue will have such a detrimental effect to your relationship then what are you doing with someone you can't even talk to or express concern about? I'm constantly gobsmacked!

    I don't think I'd intentionally change for anyone, definitely not anyone I know at the moment anyway. But then again, when you're with someone you change subtly without even realising it. Because you're not single, you have to factor someone else into your consciousness. If you're trying to make yourself different in a way you're uncomfortable with, is it really a relationship you want to be in?


  • #57
    b3t4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,325 ✭✭✭b3t4


    I've changed enough so that I can include him in my life.

    I won't change my appearance for a man.

    If I were with a man who after 10yrs - 20yrs expected me to be the same as I was when we first started going out I'd be disappointed in his unrealistic expectations of me. Age causes a lot of physical changes in humans (not to mind pregnancy for those women who have children). In my opinion, a woman and a man should expect, and deal with, physical changes of their partner over the course of a substantial amount of time. Nobody can be 20 forever.

    A.


  • #58
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    I dont think I would get surgery just to please a fella. You should love each other for you are and what was there when you met. The furtherest I have gone to keep my OH happy is keeping my hair long because he likes it and I wear skirts more often. I can also stay quiet for an entire football match which he loves :D

    I would love to get stuff done to keep myself happy though :)


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