Where are all the decent guys of Dublin gone???

shellyboo wrote: »

Yay! Do I get a prize?

Anyhoodles, back on topic... there are loads of decent men in Dublin, and I have the good fortune to be friends with some of them

I also have the good fortune to be friends with a lot of fantastic single women... but even I think that they're too picky when it comes to men. If one little thing isn't perfect, then the guy is written off with much sighing and lamenting that there's no decent men around.

My propensity to compromise when it comes to guys (and by compromise I mean dating someone who I think may not be 100% perfect for me) means that I've had my fair share of failed relationships - but hey, I'm getting laid on a semi-regular basis and at least I haven't been single for years on end! No, all joking aside - I'm getting valuable dating experience, I'm getting better at knowing what I want from a guy and what's important to me, what my dealbreakers are, and I'm learning about myself... these are things which I think (hope) will help me when it comes to meeting the guy of my dreams!

That's one thing that profoundly disturbs me about the "dating market". As you said, if your single friends think that "one little thing isn't perfect", it's a deal breaker. It sounds like they're looking for a second hand car. And that's what disturbs me, people look for a relationship just like they look for a new car or a new job, weighting the pros and cons, taking decisions and commitments ahead of time, like "this time I'll settle down", like, regardless of the next guy's qualities.

The way I see things, ideally, one should talk to people naturally without looking for anything special, and mostly not "vetting" them for an eventual relationship. In pretty much all cases you become friends with the person, how good friends depends on the "chemistry" between the two persons and the merits of the other person, and if your feelings grow for your a person beyond a certain point then you can consider a relationship. That's how I see things, relationships should be emotion-driven, and not driven by pros and cons or uninformed decisions. Then people wonder why their relationships don't work, because they crash their way through starting a relationship without waiting for feelings and binding to build up.

I think that that approach is at the root of the problem at hand, i.e., you need to become real friends with someone before you become lovers. I takes time, like months or more, but I think that's the right way to do it. This being said, you might want to take that with a pinch of salt, not only do I not have any friends in this country (Ireland), but I've never been in a relationship or anything. Hehe.

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

women arnt to picky in ireland i think it down to one thing they a lot of irish womn allways had the playing card there's only irish women...

but now we've got eastern european, women and there easyer to talk to ... in genrall i think irish women are starting to take care of them selves in genrall a lot more.. its odd really with all the compition they have, i see more irish blokes with polish latvian and Estonein girls....


Why because there not anoying there not rude... i think more irish women will be single in later life because, Of there pickyness, it's a joke....

Irish women need to wake up and see that polish latvian women are just hot. and freiendlyer... and wait for it aproachable...


not all irish women but quite a few...

Wait, are you saying that Irish women are annoying, rude and picky? Damn, no point in me moving from France to here then, hehehe.

shellyboo wrote: »

*rolls eyes*

So what are Irish women to do about this? Become Eastern European? Not all Irish women are picky and rude, and I know a fair few picky and rude (and, shocka, not hot!) Eastern European women myself.

I'll grant you that they may be more open to being chatted up and taken out than Irish women - but from what I hear from male friends (again, all conjecture, excuse my generalising) they have very different attitudes within a relationship than Irish women too, and not in a good way.

Something just came to my realisation. One reason why immigrant women may be "nicer" would be that there's more gold diggers among immigrants. Just look at statistics on how long marriages with mail-order brides last depending on their country of origin, the poorer the country the best it lasts. That's why you've got women in like Nigeria spending their entire days on the Internet like it's a full time job to find a European or American man stupid enough to want to marry them. Can't blame them, I know that when you hardly have enough money to eat suddenly everything looks different and you consider things you would have never considered before.

So if immigrant women are any nicer, the flipside is quite undesirable, unless you don't mind a woman who has a bit too much interest in how much money you make.

shellyboo wrote: »

Personal experience? I've had pretty much every boyfriend I've had tell me that my appearance is an issue for them, and none of them looked anything remotely like Brad Pitt themselves

I would never see appearance as an issue as long as I was attracted to the person - yet I know that men, despite being attracted to me and wanting to have sex with me, would not go out with me because I'm overweight for fear of what others would think. For me - and for a lot of women - that's not an issue. I can't think of any woman that I know who would be ashamed or reluctant to date a man because he's not Brad Pitt.

It's not just to do with size, if you do not conform to a certain range of stereotypes are are a lot of people who despite being attracted and interested won't for fear of what other thinks or what it says about them.

Meh sheeple are boring anyway.

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

quite simple because he wants to be....

Which seems to preclude random girl in nightclub for more than some quick nookie.

Alicia Angel wrote: »

Good Morning Everyone!
Newbie here! But have often kept an eye on the boards- they can at times be very entertaining!!

So yeah maybe the title of my thread is a little negative! But lets put into perspective! Im a 25 year old good looking female ( not wanting to sound arrogant), succesful career, and really outgoing! Have had few diffferent boyfriends in the past, but none of them have taken to my heart if you get me!

Ok, I have high standards- and no they are not ridiculously high, but I wont settle for just anyone, I do believe that a lot of people just settle for the sake of it Im not going to.

So begs the question where are the decent guys of Dublin?

This is one of the most disrespectful and arrogant thread I've ever read. Your description of yourself is so exaggerated that I doubt just decent guys will be enough for you.
Just because you have a job and because you like yourself a lot when you look in the mirror you think you're too good for us? Well guess what, there are lot of good looking women in Ireland, I even think that the majority of women are good looking in Ireland, so you're not that special and your so called "successful career" sounds quiet vain as you are only 25, you haven't achieved anything yet. We'll talk about your career in 10, 20 or 30 years. IT, Real Estate, Construction, Finance, all those sectors have crashed lately so everything is fragile.There is a recession, you could be sacked one day, have difficulties to pay your mortgage or even worse, trouble happens you know. You sound like a young football player, who scored a couple of goals and who think he is a superstar and write his biography about his life.

TMoreno wrote: »

This is one of the most disrespectful and arrogant thread I've ever read. Your description of yourself is so exaggerated that I doubt just decent guys will be enough for you.
Just because you have a job and because you like yourself a lot when you look in the mirror you think you're too good for us? Well guess what, there are lot of good looking women in Ireland, I even think that the majority of women are good looking in Ireland, so you're not that special and your so called "successful career" sounds quiet vain as you are only 25, you haven't achieved anything yet. We'll talk about your career in 10, 20 or 30 years. IT, Real Estate, Construction, Finance, all those sectors have crashed lately so everything is fragile.There is a recession, you could be sacked one day, have difficulties to pay your mortgage or even worse, trouble happens you know. You sound like a young football player, who scored a couple of goals and who think he is a superstar and write his biography about his life.

Someone's bitter . But has a point.

BKtje wrote: »

I'm afraid i'm not sure that i agree. Having standards is not a bad thing as such. If you have some idea what you want then why would you aim lower just to get someone. Sure i disagree with the whole " if i can't find my perfect guy then there's none left" situation but i see nothing wrong with looking for your ideal mate. You may be left looking a while but surely that's your choice to make and if/when you find that person (or even someone who isn't but they do it for you even with their flaws) then it's all the more worthwhile.

Well while I completely agree that it's an awful thing to settle for less than you want, I think the disturbing aspect of these standards is that it's overly criteria-based, rather than on how you really _feel_ about a person as you get to know them. I.e. you dismiss people based on some shallow bull**** arbitrary criteria that are so mutually exclusive it severely limits who you get to 'choose' from just because the person has to have a car, make 40+ k a year and have the same religious views as you or whatever such criteria can be.

My point is, it's good to not settle for what you don't really want, but dismissing people instantly based on some criteria is just balls, I really think people should get to befriend with people and get to know them well as such, and act according to their feelings.

Maybe the reason is that you keep looking for them in bars. I'm a guy and I think that most of the men out on a given night are ****ing idiots. Try looking in more subtle, sociable places such as dance classes, etc.

Flamed Diving wrote: »

Maybe the reason is that you keep looking for them in bars. I'm a guy and I think that most of the men out on a given night are ****ing idiots. Try looking in more subtle, sociable places such as dance classes, etc.

true that! ... or the fact that some women dont approach men they like, they wait for the men to approach them, my friends always do it, it bugs the life out of me !

To be honest I could say the same thing about women, where are all the good women!! I'm not single myself but loads of my friends are and they're nice lads. From what I have seen women is, no matter how good looking, successful, funny etc etc a lad is it's all down to one think......luck. With a lad if he like someone he likes someone with women it depends on a lot of things.....

Her mood
Is pluto lined up with the moon
Her mood


Sorry to off the point but sometimes you have to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Mistika wrote: »

Should I try a library?;)
Maybe the main problem is that they just don't approach me in other places, only in bars, clubs and (what a nonsense) in public transport . And my personal experience has shown so far that such acquaitances are worthless.

I would definitely be open to being chatted up while in the library...far more likely to be there than the pub lately!

copacetic wrote: »

fairy nuff, personally I know some Guys who go to dance classes and cookery classes etc as it is a goldmine for picking up women. Thats the creepy/desperate/dickhead way, not just saying hello to someone you don't know in a bar or cafe...

I had been considering doing a cookery course with the direct intention of learning to cook better, now i'm completely put off it!

Flamed Diving wrote: »

Irish women can be very arrogant when it comes to guys, it has to be said. I'm intrigued to know where this stems from. Maybe all the drunken arseholes I refer to have put them off!



In my time at college, I have met women from various parts of the world, and they are far more friendly than Irish girls. Although I am reluctant to generalise, of course not all Irish women are like this, but a significant proportion are. Any thoughts?

Ok Im a single girl and I think that sometimes girls are stand offish but maybe this is down to something I have noticed. If you are in a bar/club and a guy approaches you and has a few drinks, they are not as interested in having conversation with you as they are in diving in for a full on tongue down throat experience. Recently I had a guy say to me that he didnt want a chat, he wanted "some fun".
So sometimes if girls have had this experience and are with their friends and the guy doesnt seem like the type to be into conversation and just wants to get you in the corner and eventually home, you will be stand offish.

Also I am branded very fussy by my friends but the truth of it is that when I say I didnt like something specific about him that seems insignificant for someone else it really means that the chemistry/attraction/spark wasnt enough to stop me noticing the little things.
In the two long term relationships Ive had I liked the guys enough not to notice the little things that might have put me off other guys.

For the OP I would say that trying to make friends in loads of different situations out of the pub/club scene is the only way to meet decent guys, the wider you cast your net, the more fish you catch

PillyPen wrote: »

Is that bad? It sounds like a good way to meet women, nothing wrong with that. Unless they're making the women think they have honorable intentions when they only want to get into their pants. But I could see myself taking classes to meet men. Hope that doesn't make me creepy or desperate, lolz.:D

I'm sure most would say the same about Girls in Dublin. Once the weekend comes though everyone goes out and starts drinking & drinking and getting drunk and then you get a few men who start chatting to girls who are sober and girls with men, everyone starts talking bo**ox and taking the piss. I honeslty think it depends on what bar, pub or club you end up in. I think once you get to a certain stage at night the last thing most would be thinking of is who can i pull but more i need to get another drink inot me:).

I usually find the english, scots girls in town are more craic then the irish but again it depends on were you end up.