Social Anxiety Phobia/Disorder

clancyboy · 24-10-2012 1:41am

I think your right about childhood shapes people but some people i think are just more susceptible. I read lately that in general older sibling dont develop mental disorders as much as younger sibling which makes a lot of sense. I hope therapy is going well for you & everything works out for the best. All we can do is keep trying

Johro · 24-10-2012 10:39pm

I think the problem is that there is no 'cure' that suits everybody, we all react differently to different situations, and advice (or meds) that are of great help to a particular person may do nothing for another with similar symptoms.
For me what's most important is to put myself in charge of my own well-being as much as possible, like make time to do a daily exercise routine or relaxation exercise or something, whatever works for you, just something that makes you take a little time out to devote to yourself.
I used to do a bit of yoga to settle me and that did definitely help, just twenty minutes to half an hour every day, I downloaded an audio yoga exercise from yogadownloads.com, it's free for half hour classes and you get an mp3 audio download and pdf posture chart.
Lately though I've been concentrating on getting fitter, I felt I wasn't getting enough exercise through driving everywhere, so I got myself a treadmill (99 euro from argos) and I do half an hour on that instead, been doing it for a few months now, started off with ten minutes here or there, now used to the half hour a day. It's helped me loads, and I guess it's because when you look and feel fit your confidence is boosted as well.
I know it won't help everyone but it made a big difference to me, especially when you consider a lot of it is about confidence after all. Even when you don't get the benefit of exercise straight away, you'll feel better for having done it.

Btw, I used to feel I couldn't breathe properly when I got a panic attack, I felt I couldn't get in enough air and would end up gasping for breath, which of course makes you panic more, and the best advice I got for that was to not fight it, but instead of trying so hard to get a breath in, breathe out instead, as much as you can, and your body's reflex will make you breathe in and breathe normally all by itself, that really works. So now whenever I feel a bit panicky, I let my breath out slowly and take in a breath, then breathe out slowly again, til I feel better, which doesn't take long.
Also, I know that you can't always help yourself and for some problems you might want to see a professional, but I believe in being independent as much as possible, and would rather not rely on meds or rescue remedies or whatever, I just think that the best way of feeling in charge is to put yourself in charge and just do it.
Worked for me anyway.

nervousneddy · 15-12-2012 2:55pm

I'm really glad I found this thread it's comforting to know there are other people who experience the same feelings as me. I've suffered with social anxiety since my teens (I'm now 33). I was originally diagnosed with depression when I was 21. I was put on antidepressants which worked for a while but then stopped. Then I was put on anti-anxiety meds which were brilliant but recently had to stop because I became so dependent on them.

I've always felt really paranoid around people and never able to completely relax and be myself. Always worrying in case they thought negatively about me. Always ruminating over conversations I have with people scanning them for things I may have said that made me sound stupid or that may have offended people. Every time I walk down the street I worry about the way I walk in case I look funny or odd to the point I'd end up stumbling or tripping as I walk by people.

Recently its got very bad. I dread going to work. I work in a small space shared by 8 people and a lot of the time there is dead silence and I just can't bear it sometimes. I think Oh God somebody say something to someone I can't bear this. When I try and initiate conversation I hate the sound of my own voice and I think what I'm saying is dumb and of no interest to anyone and I end up getting embarrassed and stressed and my cheeks go bright red. I count the minutes to break time when I can get out of the environment for a break. When I walk by somebody in the hallway in work I look at their face and think they are judging me. I try to say hello and I just mutter and then I think they must think I'm so dumb and annoying. If I have to take a phone call in work I will do my best to do it in private and quickly so noone will hear me talk. If someone is watching me carry out a task my hands start to shake. Like signing my name in front of people, my signature is all shaky. If I make a mistake in work I get really embarrassed and think that I'm so stupid for doing that. Staff meetings are the worst. The last one we had I had my first panic attack and had to run out of the room. I was mortified.

When I go shopping in the supermarket (which I dread, especially if its busy) I have to know exactly what I want and ill run round and get everything quickly or else I'll have to move in and out of people and get in their way and they'll get annoyed at me for getting in their way. If I stop to look at the shelves I feel like people are pushing and shoving by me and wishing I would just move. Sometimes I get really annoyed and wish they would all just go away. When I get to the checkout and have to stand in a queue I think people are looking at me. I think that they will see how anxious I look. I worry in case I do something stupid and embarrass myself and my cheeks go bright red. I have to make sure I have my money ready so that I can pay quickly and not hold anyone up.

This anxiety has become so pervasive in my life that I've become so reclusive. I only leave the house when I absolutely have to like going to work or going food shopping and even then I sometimes feel frozen at the door before I leave. I've completely isolated myself from people because its become too painful and humiliating to interact with them. I feel hopelessly imprisoned in my life.

At the moment I'm doing CBT and I'm getting to the root of why I'm feeling like this. As part of the therapy I have to do certain tasks to try and get past this. I haven't been successful with these yet because I feel too terrified to go out in public and do these because the pain I feel inside when I embarrass myself is just too much. I hope I can get the courage to overcome these fears. I will keep trying. I'm thinking of applying for the social anxiety group in the Mater as well. It might help me to meet people who feel similar and that might inspire me a bit to overcome some of my fears

Sandumon · 10-01-2013 10:54pm

First post for me on my SA and I'm 35! I've had it since my late teens and only sought help in the last year. CBT was fine but I forget to practice it in everyday life.

Unlike some of the posts above I don't suffer panic attacks, hold down a professional job, can perform well at interviews/presentations, have nice material things, go on foreign holidays and appear to be socially confident. Truth is I have SA and struggle with it everyday. I'm not sure why I have it, don't really care to be honest.

Might be interested in meeting others with SA, if such an event exists, as I've never spoken to anyone about this apart from my CBT therapist and am determined to tackle this.

dd972 · 13-03-2013 1:37am

Had a phone interview for a job today, all prepared and relaxed beforehand. had all my notes and what to say ready and didn't perceive any problems.

Anyway the phone rang, the guy introduced himself and explained the format and what would be asked, I've had these before by the way.

He then proceeded with the questions, and **** me !

What should have come out of my mouth as an understandable discourse was reduced to a hesitant load of umming and awwing, rapid nervous sounding bits of speech, being asked by him to re explain myself etc, etc.

And all the while it was happening I was thinking ''Why am I feeling this level of fear and anxiety, I'm not in any threatening or dangerous situation? ''If I was pinned up against a wall down a dark alley with a loaded pistol held to my head, then yes this would be understandable but for talking to someone friendly and non threatening on a phone this was ridiculous.

I'm of the inclination that there has to be a neurological or physiological inclination in some people to feel this level of fear and people who come across as confident and relaxed are not afflicted by this.

A bit of nervousness and anxiety in all people is normal, but what I think fecked up my job chances today is bordering on a disability.

SCOOP 64 · 04-05-2013 11:19pm

Did you get the job?

S.A.D. · 22-07-2013 12:02pm

Hi everybody, I'm in a very desperate state at the moment. I have had social anxiety disorder since about 13. I didn't show obvious symptoms to those around me but I put on as much of an act as I could not to appear "odd" while at school. Nonetheless, outside of school I rarely left my room and never went anywhere without my parents. When school ended I spent 5 years in my bedroom. I got to college through an enormous amount of courage building and a push from my parents who thought I was just lazy. I am a total social screw up and can never make long lasting friendships or do the things I'd like out of fear. Any sort of confrontations makes me have a panic attack and makes me freeze stone cold. I'm afraid of going places and no matter how much people say "you will get used to doing things and combat it", that just isn't true. I went to college, put on my act once settled in and now have less confidence in myself. My biggest trouble however is that I am now 30, my parents have never sought treatment for my psychological problems, I don't have the money for psychological treatment and spent most of my life not even being able to help myself because thats part of the problem, facing new people. I did get me GP to send me to the state funded place but they gave me a brush off. My mother does care for me but is ignorant to mental illness. Now, my father wants me out of the house. For over a decade I've tried to communicate my problems to him but he doesn't care. I used to feel suicidal but I feel I overcame that some time ago but I am feeling sick to my stomach as to what to do. I have panic attacks the whole time when I am required to face any stranger who can have an authority or opinion over me. I can't live without the blanket care of the home I grew up in. I just don't know what to do or where to turn. Please, I hope somebody here has some answers.

JDAWG90 · 24-07-2013 1:14am

hey S.A.D, I just happened to be looking up stuff on forums about anxiety in Ireland and stumbled across your post. I myself suffer with social anxiety and I understand completely how u feel, especially the bit about people in authority. I have been lucky enough to get help through my college without costing a fortune, this support helped me loads and thaught me how to deal with the condition. I understand that u may not have much money but The best advice I can give is to go to another gp and tell them your problems, they will probly prescribe u some xanax, this drug is a lifesaver, it is the best tool to enable u to begin to deal with your condition, this along with therapy or councilling can really improve you and I would recommend spending your last dollar on the gp if needs be as it will stand to you.
there is also alot to be said for lifestyle changes like avoiding abuse of alcohol(even one drink every 2 days can be enough to noticably worsen your condition) avoiding caffeine and eating healthy. Exercise can be a great help to give u self confidence and better equip u for fearful situations. Taking pride in your appearance also reduces anxiety, for example shower daily and groom often, when u look good u feel good. meditation is another thing u can do to ease the mind and is as simple as watching a video of it on youtube.

I hope some of the info above is helpful, and just remember, things will get better and there is always some1 that understands how u feel and willing to listen!! look after yourself, remember you are THE man!!!!

stop animal cruelty · 24-07-2013 1:35am

JDAWG90 wrote: »

hey S.A.D, I just happened to be looking up stuff on forums about anxiety in Ireland and stumbled across your post. I myself suffer with social anxiety and I understand completely how u feel, especially the bit about people in authority. I have been lucky enough to get help through my college without costing a fortune, this support helped me loads and thaught me how to deal with the condition. I understand that u may not have much money but The best advice I can give is to go to another gp and tell them your problems, they will probly prescribe u some xanax, this drug is a lifesaver, it is the best tool to enable u to begin to deal with your condition, this along with therapy or councilling can really improve you and I would recommend spending your last dollar on the gp if needs be as it will stand to you.
there is also alot to be said for lifestyle changes like avoiding abuse of alcohol(even one drink every 2 days can be enough to noticably worsen your condition) avoiding caffeine and eating healthy. Exercise can be a great help to give u self confidence and better equip u for fearful situations. Taking pride in your appearance also reduces anxiety, for example shower daily and groom often, when u look good u feel good. meditation is another thing u can do to ease the mind and is as simple as watching a video of it on youtube.

I hope some of the info above is helpful, and just remember, things will get better and there is always some1 that understands how u feel and willing to listen!! look after yourself, remember you are THE man!!!!

how does the xanax work for you? do u still suffer with SA?

JDAWG90 · 24-07-2013 8:24am

Hey, yes I still suffer from SA but not to the extent I once did, infact I'd say I'm 80% better maybe 90%! I was prescribed 0.5g to take 3 times a day, and this makes u feel much more calmer and less aware of things like, "did I do that right" "did I sound like a fool" and what other pple may be thinkin, it worked so well in the beginning that I would forget to look for on coming traffic when crossing road. I soon adjusted to the drug and began to use it just when I began to feel anxious, the feelings rapidly disapate and instea of taking 3 a day I adjust to maybe 1 every 1-2 days. Because Xanax allows you to get through normally anxious times you begin to learn that your fears are irrational and that it ain't so bad! This being said its still normal to fear public speaking or a meeting with your boss, these occasions I still take a Xanax before hand and everything is just fine. With Xanax it is important not to abuse it and only take it when u really feel anxiety coming on and not just cos u feel a little bit down. Only bad side effect I've noticed is it can make u sleep and I have fallen asleep on a bus!:-) but if you drink lots of water after it generally wakes u up. There's a reason this is the number 1 drug for anxiety and that's cos it works, it saved me!

Starfox · 06-09-2013 11:49am

When i created this thread i asked the admin to pin it but i never realized it would be so successful, so a big thanks

I have created a facebook group for people in Ireland with Social Anxiety, it is very much a secret group so nobody will know your in it, see your posts or activity unless of course they are also in it.

I have just created it so not many members but it could have the potential to grow. And its purpose is to attract like minded people that also suffer from this to discuss it, help each other and even meet up or arrange group meet ups if wanted.

So, if anyone is interested in joining and essentially making new friends please send me a PM and i can add you.

Thanks

also* send me your email addy attached to your facebook

markomuscle · 25-09-2013 10:16pm

Hi, i have social anxiety disorder as well.

It has gradually got worse over the last 6 years, it wasn't until i was 18 three years ago that i found out that there was a name for it.

I have found out recently that the less confident I get the worse the symptoms have become, the worst is blushing, in any situation i feel uncomfortable in now my face heats up and i start to sweat. I am looking into hypnotherapy for that as i'm at the end of my tether with it.

stop animal cruelty · 25-09-2013 10:49pm

markomuscle wrote: »

Hi, i have social anxiety disorder as well.

It has gradually got worse over the last 6 years, it wasn't until i was 18 three years ago that i found out that there was a name for it.

I have found out recently that the less confident I get the worse the symptoms have become, the worst is blushing, in any situation i feel uncomfortable in now my face heats up and i start to sweat. I am looking into hypnotherapy for that as i'm at the end of my tether with it.

Hey lm the same age as you and have a bad time with the blushing! l honestly thought l was the only person in the world, that had this problem, it wasnt til l was 16/17 that l heard of SA, it was such a relief to find out l wasnt the only one.

l have to say, it has gotten better over time, why? well l think its cause lv just gotten so use to going red, l tend to just say to myself "fuk it" or "l dont give a sh*t if lv gone red" l use try and forget it. l know its really hard but like if you dont dwell and worry everytime you have gone red in front of someone, l find l forget about it! They say you have to face your fear, so times when l have been bright, bright red talking to someone, l have looked them in the eye, and it actually felt as if my secret is out, they know l go red , they dont know why, but its like its less pressure to cover it up, you know?

find out what is the root cause of your SA, l know what mine is and its not my fault lm like this. Its really important not to beat yourself up, treat and talk to yourself like how you would to a friend who had this problem. I went bright red today talking to a lad, now usually ld say for no reason...but there was...l asked him if he was related to this girl l work with, and thought l knew his father aswel cause he is the chef in the hotel l work in...l had this flash thought, it was my concious...telling me "l know his dad thinks lm an eejet and usless cause l often mess up orders etc"...now if l didnt think that, if l didnt give a flying ****e what that man thought of me..l would not have gone red....see thats what happends when you beat yourself up...this ****ty little stupid thoughts sticks in your head and pop up out of the blue in any social suituations...for years l beat myself up which did make the SA worse.

Sorry for going on and on, but your not alone. You not weird. I wish I had the cure for this, but my only advice, is keep strong, keep going, people are always gonna judge weather you go red or not. Find out the root cause, this is where hypotherapy will come in handy, and work on it. I think things will get easier in the furture, if we learn to love and accept ourselves and grow confidence.

markomuscle · 26-09-2013 2:59am

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Hey lm the same age as you and have a bad time with the blushing! l honestly thought l was the only person in the world, that had this problem, it wasnt til l was 16/17 that l heard of SA, it was such a relief to find out l wasnt the only one.

l have to say, it has gotten better over time, why? well l think its cause lv just gotten so use to going red, l tend to just say to myself "fuk it" or "l dont give a sh*t if lv gone red" l use try and forget it. l know its really hard but like if you dont dwell and worry everytime you have gone red in front of someone, l find l forget about it! They say you have to face your fear, so times when l have been bright, bright red talking to someone, l have looked them in the eye, and it actually felt as if my secret is out, they know l go red , they dont know why, but its like its less pressure to cover it up, you know?

find out what is the root cause of your SA, l know what mine is and its not my fault lm like this. Its really important not to beat yourself up, treat and talk to yourself like how you would to a friend who had this problem. I went bright red today talking to a lad, now usually ld say for no reason...but there was...l asked him if he was related to this girl l work with, and thought l knew his father aswel cause he is the chef in the hotel l work in...l had this flash thought, it was my concious...telling me "l know his dad thinks lm an eejet and usless cause l often mess up orders etc"...now if l didnt think that, if l didnt give a flying ****e what that man thought of me..l would not have gone red....see thats what happends when you beat yourself up...this ****ty little stupid thoughts sticks in your head and pop up out of the blue in any social suituations...for years l beat myself up which did make the SA worse.

Sorry for going on and on, but your not alone. You not weird. I wish I had the cure for this, but my only advice, is keep strong, keep going, people are always gonna judge weather you go red or not. Find out the root cause, this is where hypotherapy will come in handy, and work on it. I think things will get easier in the furture, if we learn to love and accept ourselves and grow confidence.

A big part of my problem is image, when i look better i seem to be more confident, it's a bit of a cycle, as i lost confidence i stopped working out and then got out of shape and lost more confidence, I have started to workout again and i'm sure it will improve my confidence in my self at least a little bit. I have recently got a book about social anxiety cbt from the library which i have started to read.

ihate6thyear · 07-10-2013 11:48pm

I'm nineteen and I was diagnosed with social anxiety. I'm currently repeating my leaving cert and it's so bad that it brings on terrible migraines which means I miss school a lot. This summer I attended an anxiety course in St. Pats hospital and it really helped me! The key to social anxiety is to stop avoiding the things that make you anxious. The more you avoid it the worse it gets. You have to expose yourself if you want it to get better. The course helped me a bit and provided me with a lot of support. I'm going to do the level 2 of the course next summer when I'm finished school. I would highly recommend this course to anyone who has any type of anxiety (GAD, SA, agoraphobia, panic) just get your doctor to refer you on. Hope this is of some help to anyone who is suffering!

Starfox · 23-10-2013 1:39pm

ihate6thyear wrote: »

I'm nineteen and I was diagnosed with social anxiety. I'm currently repeating my leaving cert and it's so bad that it brings on terrible migraines which means I miss school a lot. This summer I attended an anxiety course in St. Pats hospital and it really helped me! The key to social anxiety is to stop avoiding the things that make you anxious. The more you avoid it the worse it gets. You have to expose yourself if you want it to get better. The course helped me a bit and provided me with a lot of support. I'm going to do the level 2 of the course next summer when I'm finished school. I would highly recommend this course to anyone who has any type of anxiety (GAD, SA, agoraphobia, panic) just get your doctor to refer you on. Hope this is of some help to anyone who is suffering!

Im happy its working for you

arsenal1991 · 02-02-2014 3:57am

ihate6thyear wrote: »

I'm nineteen and I was diagnosed with social anxiety. I'm currently repeating my leaving cert and it's so bad that it brings on terrible migraines which means I miss school a lot. This summer I attended an anxiety course in St. Pats hospital and it really helped me! The key to social anxiety is to stop avoiding the things that make you anxious. The more you avoid it the worse it gets. You have to expose yourself if you want it to get better. The course helped me a bit and provided me with a lot of support. I'm going to do the level 2 of the course next summer when I'm finished school. I would highly recommend this course to anyone who has any type of anxiety (GAD, SA, agoraphobia, panic) just get your doctor to refer you on. Hope this is of some help to anyone who is suffering!

I don't avoid things that make me nervous and still struggle. Perhaps I need to do I more

stop animal cruelty · 10-02-2014 11:52pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1IH4j_mwjw just came across this

stop animal cruelty · 09-03-2014 12:53am

http://socialanxietyireland.com/social-anxiety/social-anxiety-ireland/ Came across this website, gives a good insight to SA, bit of advice and tips, hopfully it might be of help to someone...

2scared · 15-03-2014 5:58pm

Social phobia is torture. I've tried everything - medication, counselling, CBT, group therapy - and nothing has worked, not even a little bit. I have no friends, no job, no money. I live with my parents and I'm almost 30. I've never had sex; actually, I've never been kissed or even hugged. I feel direfully, achingly lonely. If someone was kind to me or even spoke warmly to me I would probably have a complete meltdown. At school I got straight As and now I'm nothing, trapped in a prison with no way out. People in jail have a better standard of living. I'm morbidly depressed and lacking in energy. I cloak my pain under a very unappealing facade of cynicism and misanthropy. I have constant anxiety about my financial future and I even fear homelessness. I can't believe this is what I've become. Every day is like 'Groundhog Day' without the humour. I can see no way out, not even suicide, which would destroy my parents.

I'm not sure what the point of saying all that was, but there you go. *screams*

driftkingire · 28-05-2014 11:47pm

great post, thanks

Starfox · 29-05-2014 9:50pm

2scared wrote: »

Social phobia is torture. I've tried everything - medication, counselling, CBT, group therapy - and nothing has worked, not even a little bit. I have no friends, no job, no money. I live with my parents and I'm almost 30. I've never had sex; actually, I've never been kissed or even hugged. I feel direfully, achingly lonely. If someone was kind to me or even spoke warmly to me I would probably have a complete meltdown. At school I got straight As and now I'm nothing, trapped in a prison with no way out. People in jail have a better standard of living. I'm morbidly depressed and lacking in energy. I cloak my pain under a very unappealing facade of cynicism and misanthropy. I have constant anxiety about my financial future and I even fear homelessness. I can't believe this is what I've become. Every day is like 'Groundhog Day' without the humour. I can see no way out, not even suicide, which would destroy my parents.

I'm not sure what the point of saying all that was, but there you go. *screams*

You say you tried everything? but you didn't mention meditation? And this worked for me 100% I live in a world with very little SA thanks to it. I use Transcendental Meditation and it changed everything for me.

exercise is the antidote · 05-06-2014 11:04am

Has anyone ever tried hypnotherapy for social anxiety ?

driftkingire · 05-06-2014 8:09pm

never tried that, i dont like the idea of getting hypnotised to be honest, i think its a fear thing for me, being totally under someone else's control scares me a bit!

exercise is the antidote · 16-06-2014 10:00pm

driftkingire wrote: »

never tried that, i dont like the idea of getting hypnotised to be honest, i think its a fear thing for me, being totally under someone else's control scares me a bit!

Would be abit like that too but to get over social phobia, I would nearly do anything :-)

Starfox · 24-06-2014 7:58pm

Social Anxiety Ireland (SAI) have been just informed by the Mater Hospital CEO (Prof. Mary day) and management team that - following an extensive review of its services - that SAI has no role in its future vision for the Hospital. As a result of this SAI has been instructed to cease operations within the Mater Hospital premises within the next six weeks, all reference to the Mater Hospital has to be removed from our website and no Mater staff (on Mater paid time) is to be involved in it.

exercise is the antidote · 28-07-2014 1:46am

Is there any good forums or groups to join for social phobia.?!

driftkingire · 03-08-2014 12:51am

Starfox wrote: »

Social Anxiety Ireland (SAI) have been just informed by the Mater Hospital CEO (Prof. Mary day) and management team that - following an extensive review of its services - that SAI has no role in its future vision for the Hospital. As a result of this SAI has been instructed to cease operations within the Mater Hospital premises within the next six weeks, all reference to the Mater Hospital has to be removed from our website and no Mater staff (on Mater paid time) is to be involved in it.

well thats typical.

SIX PACK · 19-09-2014 12:15am

Just been browsing through this thread and pretty sure I have it myself sometimes around certain people that that I don't click with.

Wonder what the best cure is ?

driftkingire · 21-09-2014 10:30pm

SIX PACK wrote: »

Just been browsing through this thread and pretty sure I have it myself sometimes around certain people that that I don't click with.

Wonder what the best cure is ?

stay away from the people you dont click with. if you dont like them then there's probably a reason you dont like them. unless you work with them, then there's not much you can do about it apart from quitting which i wouldnt do unless i was desperate. if you think you have it go to your gp and he will probably arrange for you to see a psycologist to confirm you have it. there's loads of treatments available.

2scared · 13-11-2014 4:35pm

This thread seems to have become somewhat inactive. How is everyone doing? Anyone had any success at overcoming (or at least containing) this dreadful illness?

driftkingire · 13-11-2014 9:17pm

i think the best way to deal with it is to be proactive. if you get it into your head that everythings an insurmountable challange
then everything will be. make little steps, like exerciseing for instance. start exerciseing regularly,it costs nothing and is proven to
improve your mood and you will be activley taking steps to improve your situation. this in itself will improve your confidence even if
its only slightly. but isnt that how every recovery starts?. little steps, then build up slowly to what you want to be.

stop animal cruelty · 15-11-2014 10:54am

^^ all the above very true.

Im still not over it, dont know if I ever will be, but I know I'll always be improving. Ivcome very far since secondary school. You gotta change your thinking, you've got to accept and love yourself.

I found counselling brillant, I know the root of my cause, thats very important I think, I try not to beat myself up anymore if I encounter awkward moments, I just say fcuk it and try get on with things. The less you think about it, the more positive steps you take to overcome this, thats when you'll see change.

driftkingire · 15-11-2014 6:02pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

^^ all the above very true.

Im still not over it, dont know if I ever will be, but I know I'll always be improving. Ivcome very far since secondary school. You gotta change your thinking, you've got to accept and love yourself.

I found counselling brillant, I know the root of my cause, thats very important I think, I try not to beat myself up anymore if I encounter awkward moments, I just say fcuk it and try get on with things. The less you think about it, the more positive steps you take to overcome this, thats when you'll see change.

there will always be a certain amount of anxiety in everyones lives, its how badly it affects you that makes it a problem. your exactly right stopanimalcruelty its the
way you think about it and handle it that makes all the difference. well said.

stop animal cruelty · 15-11-2014 6:36pm

driftkingire wrote: »

there will always be a certain amount of anxiety in everyones lives, its how badly it affects you that makes it a problem. your exactly right stopanimalcruelty its the
way you think about it and handle it that makes all the difference. well said.

tooks me years, and l mean years to realise this....we need to take it easy on yourselves...beating ourselves up about it causes much more harm.
"
Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.
"
Just gotta keep going!

2scared · 15-11-2014 9:58pm

Okay but every time I go into ANY social situation, my heart starts thumping wildly like I'm having a heart attack, and it doesn't stop thumping no matter how long I stay there. I can't think or speak clearly. I sweat. I jump at noises. My eyes dart back and forth like I'm about to be attacked. I get flushes of heat, cold extremities, and I blush when spoken to. When I'm finally back home and in the safety of an enclosed space with no other people, I am so exhausted by the non-stop surge of adrenaline that I can't do anything else that day except stare blankly ahead. If I have to go somewhere the next day, I won't sleep. I have tried three different SSRIs, Xanax and Beta Blockers, and all I got from any of them was side effects. How am I supposed to start small and work my way up when even the smallest thing causes such distress, and when repeating it multiple times has no positive effect but only reinforces the negative response?

Sorry, I know that is a bit of a diatribe, but I am close to giving up on fighting this thing and just staying in for good.

stop animal cruelty · 15-11-2014 10:01pm

2scared wrote: »

Okay but every time I go into ANY social situation, my heart starts thumping wildly like I'm having a heart attack, and it doesn't stop thumping no matter how long I stay there. I can't think or speak clearly. I sweat. I jump at noises. My eyes dart back and forth like I'm about to be attacked. I get flushes of heat, cold extremities, and I blush when spoken to. When I'm finally back home and in the safety of an enclosed space with no other people, I am so exhausted by the non-stop surge of adrenaline that I can't do anything else that day except stare blankly ahead. If I have to go somewhere the next day, I won't sleep. I have tried three different SSRIs, Xanax and Beta Blockers, and all I got from any of them was side effects. How am I supposed to start small and work my way up when even the smallest thing causes such distress, and when repeating it multiple times has no positive effect but only reinforces the negative response?

Sorry, I know that is a bit of a diatribe, but I am close to giving up on fighting this thing and just staying in for good.

have you done counselling or had any therapy?

2scared · 15-11-2014 10:05pm

Hi. Yeah I have. I didn't find it any good, but maybe I didn't have good psychologists. In some cases, they didn't seem to have a clue what I was talking about and I spent most of the time explaining the condition to them / trying to convince them that it was a condition.

Also, I guess my previous post was more of a rant than a diatribe.

stop animal cruelty · 15-11-2014 10:25pm

you need to talk/work with someone who can find the root cause of this. had you a bad upbringing? bullied at school? just v shy and embarressed about it?

Iv learned l just gotta put up with it, like l said the more lv accepted it, and the less l care what people thought, its become easier. l think it all comes down the self confidence, self esteem and self trust.

driftkingire · 16-11-2014 7:57pm

yes, usually there's an underlying cause for your anxiety. sometimes its just stress that has built up over many years that hasnt been dealt with properly. and you can excercise in the comfort of your own home without any pressure to look good or achieve a huge amount. i cant stress
enough how regular exercise can help with stress,depression and anxiety. a lot of hse psyciatrists are worse than useless thats true, but
there are good ones out there, you just need to keep looking. there is a medication for general anxiety disorder that is supposed to be
very effective. but i dont think i can recommend any medication on this site due to rules about self proscription. anxiety is not the same as depression so ssri's may not nessesarily work for an individual with anxiety!in some cases they might but i think there's a more spicific medication
available for anxiety available. go to your gp and ask him about it. it might make all the difference. but definitley try exercising also.

2scared · 17-11-2014 7:31pm

Hi again. Thanks for replying guys.

I already exercise a lot, which is useful (particularly for sleep).

I am going to try beta blockers over the next few days to see if they're any good at combating the physical symptoms.

As for the underlying cause, I think it's largely genetic. I wasn't bullied and I didn't have a bad childhood. Just extreme sensitivity, the panic response that can come from that, and lots of negative reinforcement that have made the fear response generalised and automatic.

Could you give me the name of a good psychiatrist?

stop animal cruelty · 17-11-2014 7:41pm

2scared wrote: »

Hi again. Thanks for replying guys.

I already exercise a lot, which is useful (particularly for sleep).

I am going to try beta blockers over the next few days to see if they're any good at combating the physical symptoms.

As for the underlying cause, I think it's largely genetic. I wasn't bullied and I didn't have a bad childhood. Just extreme sensitivity, the panic response that can come from that, and lots of negative reinforcement that have made the fear response generalised and automatic.

Could you give me the name of a good psychiatrist?

Don't know any psychiatrists, IMO your as well off the see a psychologist.

driftkingire · 17-11-2014 8:03pm

dont know what county your in but here's a number for a councelor in westmeath, i know its not a psyciatrist but its all i have
at the moment and could still help. 0879067505. also here's a great link with loads of info on anxiety http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/home.asp

Starfox · 21-11-2014 5:16pm

Try and do less of the things that stimulate your mind, like drink too much coffee, caffeine, stay up to late, use your computer too long, your smart phone too long. Try avoid negative people. Like i said many times on this post meditation has helped me overcome so much of SA to the point where i am not anxious around people or thinking about some meeting in the future or what i said and 'didn't say right' after i am with people.

Social Anxiety Phobia/Disorder

Comments