The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

Guys (and girls!), I need some advice please.

I met a great girl on match.com around 6-7 weeks ago. We exchanged a couple of emails initially and we met around a week later (start of February).

We have gone on five dates (last one on 28th Feb) and have got on fantastically well, a lot in common as well as good chemistry. I went on vacation back to Ireland for a week (I relocated to Toronto nearly 2 years ago). I texted her when I got back and she replied positively.

Now she seems to have gone cold. For example, she called me on a Sunday, spoke for under 5 mins and then she had to go, 'We'll talk another time' her exact words. I send her a message later that evening suggesting that we have a more extensive chat during the week and make a plan for the next weekend (the current one). No response for 3 days and when it came it went something like, 'Not feeling too well this evening, we'll talk another time'.

Maybe Im reading too much into this, but I seriously think she's lost interest despite telling me otherwise a couple of weeks earlier.

This dating lark is punishing on the mind. Why do women have to be so complicated?

Larianne wrote: »

Well on the Sunday she did call you. I'd say give her a call and see how she is. Better to just get to the problem instead of wondering is it this or that.



Ah its both ways. Men can be just as bad.

Thanks.

I don't deny that at all but I believe its more challenging for the guy as we have to do all the chasing and organisation so there's more pressure on us in my opinion.

Hey guys,
Been following this thread for the last couple of weeks and couldn't wait to get to the end so I could post, some very interesting dating experiences some of you had. Anyways just looking for a bit of advice. Got chatting to a guy in January on POF and have been pretty much texting everyday since. Problem is can't meet up because of work commitments until near end of April and I'm afraid because of the length of time we're talking it might hinder for when we meet, as in we've built up images in each others heads of who we are and really hope to be not let down (either of us to be let down to be fair) Should I curb the daily texting until nearer the time of meeting or just go with the flow? Any advice would be great

fat__tony wrote: »

Thats frankly ridiculous to be honest, work commitments or not waiting 3 months before you go on a date with someone is suspicious.

That's gone through my head too. The reasons seem legit enough considering what he does, maybe it could just be something for him to pass the time. He seems genuine enough and honest about other areas in his life, but it's easy to come across like that when you're hiding behind a computer.

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

That's gone through my head too. The reasons seem legit enough considering what he does, maybe it could just be something for him to pass the time. He seems genuine enough and honest about other areas in his life, but it's easy to come across like that when you're hiding behind a computer.

Sorry, I came across as a bit cynical there but it does seem a bit strange.

What on earth does he do?

Definitely have had that like many on here. Chatting for a while getting on great and then you finally meet and there's no chemistry or connection or whatever you want to call it. I've chatted to guys where we are so well matched on interests and have loads in common but when it comes down to it either I don't fancy them or they don't fancy me or we both don't fancy eachother I think it's always best to meet up asap or you end up building a picture of them in your head that's nothing like the real thing.

She sounds like a keeper! My fiancee trawls this thread because, being honest, she loves car-crash posts. I might note that we met on OkC too, and chatted as friends until we had an opportunity to meet (8 months) and then only for a week...and it was a further 5 months until we could meet again. Granted the distance was non-negotiable, after all I was in Oireland, she was in Croatia.

One of us had to move, and I made the decision that it would be me.

Anyway, during my time on the site, as a singleton, I found that grammar was key for some women (they liked to know their man could handle their dangling prepositions I suppose), or wit was an ice breaker elsewhere (one girl emailed me on the basis of ONE solitary question answered out of over 1000).

Now, a mid-April work deadline does not seem wholly unusual. I work ludicrous hours myself so if I *was* single I could not take the time to travel anywhere. I can have a lazy weekend once a fortnight and be rested for work, or I can go gallivanting about the place and be utterly shattered come Monday morning.

If you like the guy you'll keep an open mind about it. I was messaging a paramedic, a beautiful woman, a long time back, but her hours, while stable, were at complete odds with my own.

Of course these sites are still full of complete whack-jobs. That guy mentioned earlier who wanted to 'break into a park'. Why? Wasn't he loved enough as a child? I was abused by a woman who found herself excluded from being potentially picked because she used drugs, something which I had flagged as a 100% deal-breaker (being a smoker was 70% deal breaker in case the lass in question was, herself, smoking).

Patience is key folks; I met the future Mrs SEE maybe 4-5 weeks into my account being active, and it took me 6 months to realise I liked her a bit more than needing to shag someone... by the time we met in the flesh it was already written in the stars.

Of course there is no Bank Holiday Monday here. Stuck in my office. Phil Coulter on Newstalk though, so that helps.

SEEMagazine wrote: »

She sounds like a keeper! My fiancee trawls this thread because, being honest, she loves car-crash posts. I might note that we met on OkC too, and chatted as friends until we had an opportunity to meet (8 months) and then only for a week...and it was a further 5 months until we could meet again. Granted the distance was non-negotiable, after all I was in Oireland, she was in Croatia.

One of us had to move, and I made the decision that it would be me.

Anyway, during my time on the site, as a singleton, I found that grammar was key for some women (they liked to know their man could handle their dangling prepositions I suppose), or wit was an ice breaker elsewhere (one girl emailed me on the basis of ONE solitary question answered out of over 1000).

Now, a mid-April work deadline does not seem wholly unusual. I work ludicrous hours myself so if I *was* single I could not take the time to travel anywhere. I can have a lazy weekend once a fortnight and be rested for work, or I can go gallivanting about the place and be utterly shattered come Monday morning.

If you like the guy you'll keep an open mind about it. I was messaging a paramedic, a beautiful woman, a long time back, but her hours, while stable, were at complete odds with my own.

Of course these sites are still full of complete whack-jobs. That guy mentioned earlier who wanted to 'break into a park'. Why? Wasn't he loved enough as a child? I was abused by a woman who found herself excluded from being potentially picked because she used drugs, something which I had flagged as a 100% deal-breaker (being a smoker was 70% deal breaker in case the lass in question was, herself, smoking).

Patience is key folks; I met the future Mrs SEE maybe 4-5 weeks into my account being active, and it took me 6 months to realise I liked her a bit more than needing to shag someone... by the time we met in the flesh it was already written in the stars.

Of course there is no Bank Holiday Monday here. Stuck in my office. Phil Coulter on Newstalk though, so that helps.

Ahhhh SEE, you've given me hope, lovely story You're absolutely spot on about grammar, that is a must for me I have to say.. None of this "hi how r u doin babz"

Yes you're right there, it's not entirely unusual, and I do know people that would put their work first and foremost if they have a deadline to meet and everything else goes on the back burner. I suppose, as I said, I've not much else going on so what's the point in pondering it. :rolleyes:

Ah s***e Dovies, any numbers exchanged or social network sites or anything?

It's all a mystery to me, I thought it would be easier on dating sites but nope, seems as complicated as in RL

awec wrote: »

I honestly think it's more difficult than real life.

Definitely as in terms of rejection. If we had to go through say 5 of those on a night out we'd completely lose the will

awec wrote: »

Even aside from that, it's hard to convey tone in text. I mean it's a lot harder to write something funny than it is to say something funny to someone, because you are actually there in person!

And it's harder to read the tone of what people are saying to you!

Which leads to all this guessing of "what did he/she mean by that" etc etc.

Far more difficult in my book, which sucks, because real life is bloody hard as well! :pac:

Completely agree, I have a bit of a warped sense of humour, and it really does not translate well through text.

Dovies wrote: »

My theory on that is surely they would use pics of better looking blokes! :D

If they had any sense, and he had down 'looking for a relationship' boy was my friend maaaaaad :rolleyes:

awec wrote: »

I hear ya!

I've written messages and on re-read thought "woops, better change that because that definitely won't come across as I mean it". :pac:

Ha I've done that too. Saves the having to explain myself after the inevitable response.

Deleted User wrote: »

There's nothing more annoying that exchanging mails with someone for a few hours (especially after they made first contact), getting on quite well and then, the next day, their not replying.

I know, it's like cheers for that, I passed the time for you when you were bored :mad:

Deleted User wrote: »

Their loss though, right?

Spot on

Samich wrote: »

I'm sure fake profiles are against pof rules?

They would be against the rules alright, but that wouldn't stop some people getting around that