Staying Safe

WindSock · 15-09-2008 4:20pm #1

What do you do to help make you think you are safe? Me? I used to carry around little packets of salt to throw in my attackers eyes. It would probably be more effective if my attacker were a slug though.

JaneyMc · 15-09-2008 4:24pm

I usually just carry my keys in my hand and have the pointy bits sticking throught the my fingers. Makes me fell a little safer.

My Mam always told me, if anything ever happens, boot them as hard as possible in the nads, when they go to grab themselves in pain, jab them in the eyeballs, then run like hell.

15-09-2008 4:24pm

I'm rude and sober.

The Bollox · 15-09-2008 4:26pm

if I was one of teh wimmins and fearing the scum out there I would have this guy take my fancy. think of how much money you would save not having to buy coats

JaneyMc · 15-09-2008 4:30pm

I also note taxi plates when I get in and out, or put a friend into one, and always tell them I have someone waiting for me to get home.

LolaDub · 15-09-2008 4:37pm

Wow i suppose probably not all that much although i thought i was fairly safe. Wouldn't walk on any unlit roads or laneways alone when its dark, i'd make a note of taxi nos and text them to friends but thats about it. if i got into trouble my stilettos double up as weapons and i'd scream/cry my head off. hope i'd be able to grab the phone to call someone

Popinjay · 15-09-2008 4:42pm

I thought there was a really good list of tips for staying safe in the drink spiking thread but can't seem to find it now, curse my own ineptitude.

I used to carry a knife with me at almost all times but that didn't exactly help when I was searched on suspicion of posession of drugs (which I didn't have) and the knife was found.

No conviction from it as this was in the old days but it wasn't the most pleasant of experiences. In hindsight, court aside, carrying any obvious weapon is a bad idea. (Never mind that something like what happened to me could get you in big trouble especially since after the weapons amnesty carrying weapons is more likely to be strictly punished.) Ignoring that, it can tend to raise the stakes significantly in any situation and as the old saying goes 'A weapon which you do not know how to [and here we can insert "or are unwilling to"] use belongs to your enemy.

A lot of the girls here seem to have mentioned some form of martial arts training in the past and I'd say that can help with the feeling of security. But I would still say that the safest thing you can do is to do your best not to be left alone in any dangerous or potentially dangerous situation.

Look after your mates and encourage the 'we don't leave anyone behind' school of thought. It's not always easy and sometimes with a few drinks in you, you can tend to think you'll be grand on your own or 'so-and-so' is being a drunken idiot, let's just leave them and head on. Safety in numbers is still overall the best bet.

Popinjay · 15-09-2008 4:45pm

LolaDub wrote: »

i'd scream/cry my head off

Depressingly, this isn't always much help, as people often think it's a couple having a row and don't want to get involved. Understandably so, as many anectodes on these boards have ended with someone getting a kicking from man and woman for goignt o the defence of a screaming woman.

Macha · 15-09-2008 4:53pm

Probably illegal but I have a small spray can of mace.

Plus keys between fingers when walking alone, and mobile in other hand.

Oh and KravMaga self-defense course under my belt. Ladies: you must all do a self-defense course.

LadyE · 15-09-2008 4:54pm

I dont do anything or carry anything. Im too trusting (which was pointed out to me this weekend) of randomers in the street. Havent been attacked or muggest in Dublin so never thought to.

LolaDub · 15-09-2008 4:55pm

i know all too well, my brother helped a girl in marbella who was getting a beating and was nearly killed by him as he turned out to be a drug dealer.

I think this new all pubs close at 2.30 rule will make this even less safe. We all know how difficult it can be to get home at the end of a night out but with everyone being turfed onto the sts at the same time its going to be impossible

Madame Razz · 15-09-2008 5:02pm

I'm a big girl and I generally find that trouble keeps away from me becuase of it; im over 6ft in heels. But of course that doesn't mean i'm immune, so if I was ever under threat I'd go the nads/eyeballs route.

I do note taxi numbers and always keep my fone in my hand in the taxi just in case. I never walk anywhere at night on my own etc. I keep cans of furniture polish in my car and in random places around the house(this has the same effect as mace but isnt illegal) and I have a panic button on my house alarm, which is a monitored system.

I feel confident that if i ever got into a tricky situation I'd do my damndest to get out of it, but then you never know what sort of lunatic you're going to meet; heres hoping I never have the pleasure of such an encounter.

I suppose we should be more vigilant, but at the same time i don't want to spend my life looking over my shoulder.

Thoie · 15-09-2008 5:06pm

I'm enormous, and I run fast with a bit of adrenalin

I carry my keys between my fingers as well if I'm heading back to my car alone late at night. I never leave myself in a position where I'm going to be somewhere scary in highheels. Change into a pair of runners and you can get away much faster. If you absolutely feel you must punch someone, use your elbow, not your fist. If you have to kick someone in the nads, use your knee, not your foot (less chance of being overbalanced). Carry your handbag across your body - not hanging loose from one shoulder, or in your hand.

If you want to scream, scream "Fire!" rather than "Help!". Studies have shown that screaming for help often gets you ignored, screaming fire brings people running.

Popinjay · 15-09-2008 5:09pm

manukahoney wrote: »

I keep cans of furniture polish in my car and in random places around the house(this has the same effect as mace but isnt illegal)

And one of those small spray cans of sure or similar in the handbag wouldn't hurt either. For all you smokers out there it's an even better defence and nothing illegal about it.

Thoie · 15-09-2008 5:10pm

Popinjay wrote: »

And one of those small spray cans of sure or similar in the handbag wouldn't hurt either. For all you smokers out there it's an even better defence and nothing illegal about it.

What? Sticking lit cigarettes in people's faces? What a horrendous thing to suggest!

*wanders off to turn up the flame on her lighter*

Popinjay · 15-09-2008 5:12pm

taconnol wrote: »

Oh and KravMaga self-defense course under my belt. Ladies: you must all do a self-defense course.

The KravMaga course is pretty damn good but pricey for a one weekend jobby.

Popinjay · 15-09-2008 5:13pm

Thoie wrote: »

What? Sticking lit cigarettes in people's faces? What a horrendous thing to suggest!

*wanders off to turn up the flame on her lighter*

No silly, you light the deodorant... Much better

Although using the cigarette can be handy, it's better just as a distraction before you kick him square in the baby-makers. Flick it at his face and get a good hefty boot in.

EDIT: Should also point out that it's not illegal to carry these things but setting someone's face on fire may be frowned upon. This just means its time to play up the frailties of your sex and break down weeping about how scared you were.

A man wouldn't get away with it but sure our proportionately higher population of male judges are well aware that women are irrational anyway and get crazy under stress*

*Just to point out that I'm not aware of that at all. Put the lighters down please.

brianthebard · 15-09-2008 5:21pm

JaneyMc wrote: »

I usually just carry my keys in my hand and have the pointy bits sticking throught the my fingers. Makes me fell a little safer.

My Mam always told me, if anything ever happens, boot them as hard as possible in the nads, when they go to grab themselves in pain, jab them in the eyeballs, then run like hell.

Never asking you for the time so...

Dragan · 15-09-2008 5:28pm

Popinjay wrote: »

The KravMaga course is pretty damn good but pricey for a one weekend jobby.

Okay, here is my issue with weekend Self Defence courses…..

Your ability to deliver any kind of strike will be based solely on your main delivery system, your main delivery system will need to be trained for a LONG time before you are capable in a stressful aggressive situation. As such, when choosing a self defence course you should also consider joining a local Martial Arts club, the consistant training in the club will do a lot more for you self defence than a simple weekend course.

To be effective you need to drill a move hundreds and thousands of times. It's just the way it is. Some self defence course can be great, they spend a lot of time and effort going though the does and don't of avoiding sticky situations but i personally questioning the effectiveness of anything learned solely over the course of a weekend which you are then expected to delivery with any degree of ability without further training and practice.

My main issue with SD course is they can really give people a false sense of security. From experience I have trained and sparred with females who were effectively better technical fighters than me, yet if we removed the rule set and just scrapped they would lose and badly. In short, those courses can be good but you need to consistantly train what you learn, with a decent instructor, to be even in with a shot of using these moves effectively.

As someone else mentioned it here is the list I posted of does and don'ts for nights on the town for the safety minded.

1) You don't get drunk off your ass to the point you can hardly talk.
2) You don't go wandering to quiet places with people you just met ( will be influenced by the first ).
3) You don't go places alone with people you have just met ( will be influenced by the first ).
4) You don't leave drinks unattended. ( you guess it! )
5) You don't accept drinks from randomers, no matter how hot they are.
6) When going home, go home with someone, or at least get walked to your taxi by mates if possible.
7) Enjoy yourself, have fun and keep an eye on your mates.

Nevyn · 15-09-2008 5:34pm

Ladies please be aware that anything you carry or try to use as a weapon can be taken from you and used against you.

Actually being aware if the best think you can do.

Be aware of how much you are drinking and it's effects on you.
Be aware of where you are and the people around you.
Be aware if someone starts acting odd or creeps you out, make a note of what they looked like and what they are wearing.
Be aware of what you choose to wear for an evening and how it restricts your movements, ie running.
Be aware of how your friends are.
Be aware of where you are going and plan the safest brightest route to it.
Be aware of were the garda are stationed about the streets incase you need to make your way to one.
Be aware of people appraoching you and sidestep or cross to the other side of the road.

Very simple thing but makes a hell of a difference on a night out.

Popinjay · 15-09-2008 5:37pm

Ahah! I had a feeling it was Dragan posted that list. I was waiting for him to see this thread.

And I'll basically +1 everything he just posted. Although, I don't think enough work is done in any SD course about avoidance. Which as we all know is the best way to stay safe.

rainbow kirby · 15-09-2008 5:40pm

Awareness + 12 years of martial arts training.

LolaDub · 15-09-2008 5:42pm

I did judo for years, i wonder though how would i fare if something happened. i could remember everything and smack the be janey out of the attacker or i could get scared and curl up into a weeping ball. Once i was walking out of my house area to meet a friend who was coming to see my new place, had my phone out to text where we both were to find each other. Passed some flats with a bunch of kids hanging around, a few mins later i could hear somebody running. As it was night i thought unusual for people to be jogging and turned my head, one of the kids had his fist aimed at me but i saw and the few seconds notice made all the difference so i could dodge the punch, he made a grab for my phone but i got to hit him first and he and his friends legged it.

Anti · 15-09-2008 5:42pm

manukahoney wrote: »

I keep cans of furniture polish in my car and in random places around the house(this has the same effect as mace but isnt illegal) and I have a panic button on my house alarm, which is a monitored system.

You sure about that? I sprayed myself in the face(dont ask) with Mr. Sheen last night and it barely irritated me.

I dont mean to come off sounding sexist or anything here, but the self defence course dosent always work. I have a friend who is a guard, So she has had all that training. Out of interest one night i asked her to show me the "take down" move they use.... Didn't work at all, and shes not a 4 foot nothing size 6 girl.

Some of the advice already like keys in hand and mobile are great. Remember a swift kick to the shin is one of the most painfull things you can do to a man. As well as pulling his hair. We dont liek that, even in the sack

Larianne · 15-09-2008 5:44pm

Thoie wrote: »

If you want to scream, scream "Fire!" rather than "Help!". Studies have shown that screaming for help often gets you ignored, screaming fire brings people running.

I was just gonna post that!

Also, before going into your house/flat/car, check around you to make sure there is no-one about and have your key ready WAY in advance.

And I never make eye contact with people on the streets at night.

15-09-2008 6:02pm

Larianne wrote: »

And I never make eye contact with people on the streets at night.

If someone is making me feel uncomfortable, I'll make it clear that I am eyeballing them. Even if I have to stop and turn around.
My logic is that, if they are trouble I'm telling them that I'm not the easiest target as I aware of their presence.

Macha · 15-09-2008 6:12pm

The Krav Maga course I did wasn't a weekend thing. It was one night a week over 12 weeks.

It taught me very important points such as:

- never punch with a closed fist, instead hit with the base of the palm of your open hand. Mike Tyson once got in a street fight & he broke his hand punching the normal way, there are just too many little bones in there waiting to be broken.
-If someone approaches you, raise up your hands, not in a defensive way but so that you have a better chance of blocking a punch.
-Your elbow is the sharpest point on your body (as someone else pointed out)
-If someone starts hassling you, ask them a question, something stupid like "are your shoes white?" Even if s/he doesn't want to answer the question, they have to process the question and decide they don't want to answer it, thus giving your precious time to make your getaway.
-Don't feel guilty for saying no, if someone is following/harassing you for money. There are support structures in place to help this person if they look for them.
-There are certain points on the body that are very painful when pressure is applied (very Mr Spock) Apart from the whole nether region, there's pinching the back/inner leg, pressing up under someone's jaw inside the jaw bone, pressing up into the nostrils and into the eyes.

This last one is very important as what women lack in strength, they can make up for in the pure creation of pain. My instructor told us that with rape, often the perpetrator is found with scratches all down his face but with his eyes intact. Even in that horrible moment, women still can't bring themselves to press into his eyes. I say he deserves blindness!!

So those are my little tips.

As Dragan points out, prevention is better than cure.

Thoie · 15-09-2008 6:16pm

Larianne wrote: »

And I never make eye contact with people on the streets at night.

I'd disagree with that. I don't make prolonged eye contact, and I certainly don't stare, but keeping your head down and not looking

a) makes you look vulnerable
b) means you mightn't see someone coming at you

I find head held high, shoulders back, casual sweeping glances to both sides gives off a far more relaxed and less vulnerable air. Horses for courses maybe.

metaoblivia · 15-09-2008 7:00pm

I'm just very aware of the environment I'm in, and I keep an eye on the people around me, particularly their body language. I walk "with a purpose," i.e., head up, alert, and I make eye contact - not lingering, but enough to let people know that I see them and know they're there. I stick to well lit, main streets, and I don't walk around alone in neighborhoods that are known to be dangerous. I'm a non drinker, so getting smashed isn't really an issue. I never leave my water unattended. If I'm going to my car, I generally have my key already in my hand well before I get there.
As for being at home, I keep the doors and windows locked at all times.

Nevyn · 15-09-2008 7:30pm

Manties wrote: »

Remember a swift kick to the shin is one of the most painfull things you can do to a man.

It was true for the sufferagettes and it's true today and a lot less hit and miss then a kick to the groin and it leaves you a lot less off balance and less exposed.

Manties wrote: »

As well as pulling his hair. We dont liek that,

Some men do.

Manties wrote: »

even in the sack

Yes even the hair on their sack. :pac:

dotsman · 15-09-2008 7:51pm

I'd just like to point out the blatant sexism of everybody's (well, at least most people's) posts.

You all seem to assume you're going to be attacked by a bloke! A kick in the nads is not going to as effective if your attacker doesn't have any nads to begin with!

Bar domestics (where it has always been started and/or fully reciprocated by the girl!), the only other times I have ever seen girls getting attacked is by other girls!

No idea of statistics, but from my experiences, if any of you are ever going to be attacked, it is most likely going to be by another girl or group of girls (and girls fight dirty - they do this high-pitched scream which completely disorientates you, prior to landing a barrage of blows and slaps).

Staying Safe

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