Break up relief

Madame Razz · 17-09-2008 11:32am #1

Well girlies..

I'm sure we've all been there...

What do you do when you break up with somebody/get broken up with.

Cry? Get Drunk? Eat? Exercise? Get mad?

Personally I go shopping, and get my hair done, and generally be nice to myself whether I'm the dumper or the dumpee. The big night out ASAP after the break-up is also a prerequisite, though sometimes these can be a real test!

I Don't cry much in a break-up situation; usually the only crying is done when I get the credit card bill!!!

That said, I have done the crying+food gorging thing once; but usually I lose all appetite!

Do you find its different for different situations and different men or do you always have a sure fire solution to getting back on top??

17-09-2008 11:38am

I'm weird.....I don't stay upset for long. Might have one good cry and then I'm over it.

Femelade · 17-09-2008 12:09pm

I cry and puke for a few weeks, and avoid everyone. stay in my room and watch tv..

RxQueen · 17-09-2008 12:19pm

yeah im the same as moonbaby, no point in dwelling on it. Night out tho always helps

Clare Bear · 17-09-2008 12:29pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'm weird.....I don't stay upset for long. Might have one good cry and then I'm over it.

God I wish I was like that! I'll cry my eyes out for a few days, not eat a thing, then go out every night and go mad which makes me feel worse again but it has to be done. I tend to hang out with my male friends more after a break up than my female ones for some reason. It depends on the situation and the length of the relationship etc....my only long term 3 year relationship was a hell of a tough one to get over. The rest were nothing compared to that one.

Break ups suck! I think I'll actually murder my boyfriend if he tries to dump me, I'm not going through another one, fact!

Rattlehead_ie · 17-09-2008 12:30pm

Listen to v loud Metal music and go for a v long long walk.......... I do this to destress when in really bad form as well.Night out is alwaus good too

I tend to hang out with my male friends more after a break up than my female ones for some reason.

Thats usually cause men distance themselves (not talk bout it) and try to keep busy or keep there mates thats just broken up busy to make them forget, it works v well

ANGEM · 17-09-2008 12:30pm

Broke up last week nite out helps sense of relief confirms i did the right thing

Clare Bear · 17-09-2008 12:32pm

Oh and have a good rant about it on Boards

Some people on here cheered me up and helped so much. Will always be grateful

Rattlehead_ie · 17-09-2008 12:33pm

Clare Bear wrote: »

Oh and have a good rant about it on Boards Some people on here cheered me up and helped so much. Will always be grateful

I miss your cow avatar, it reminds me of the squishy toy I have

Clare Bear · 17-09-2008 12:37pm

Rattlehead_ie wrote: »

I miss your cow avatar, it reminds me of the squishy toy I have

Aww I miss the cow too, I'm gonna get her back!

Rattlehead_ie · 17-09-2008 12:40pm

Clare Bear wrote: »

Aww I miss the cow too, I'm gonna get her back!

Rattlehead saving Moo Cows since September 08. Back on topic! Mate of mine used to do the whole burning of EX possession things, he said that helped

fonpokno · 17-09-2008 12:42pm

I watch loads and loads of Father Ted and Black Books and as much comedy as I can find. Anything that doesn't have a relationship theme basically! Then I eat a ton of ice-cream and hang out with my friends as much as possible. I only cry when I'm at home on my own but by God do i cry!

17-09-2008 12:47pm

Clare Bear wrote: »

God I wish I was like that! I'll cry my eyes out for a few days, not eat a thing, then go out every night and go mad which makes me feel worse again but it has to be done.

See I didn't so much as look at another man for months and months after myself and thee ex broke up. Because I knew I was still in love with him, and it would hurt and confuse me.
Your way has its definite highlights.

Clare Bear · 17-09-2008 12:48pm

And don't go near the radio or any love songs for at least 2 weeks!

lasorciere · 17-09-2008 12:49pm

It depends on relationships. Sometimes love ends before break up and it makes me happy-single-again. In case when I'm dumped calling for my girlfriends...whith a bottle of whiskey.

Clare Bear · 17-09-2008 12:53pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

See I didn't so much as look at another man for months and months after myself and thee ex broke up. Because I knew I was still in love with him, and it would hurt and confuse me.
Your way has its definite highlights.

Oh when I say I go mad I don't go mad with the men or anything lol, just go mad with partying. Yeah was over a year when I even looked at another man after my ex. Just had zero interest, sad I know but I still loved him. Such a waste looking back but maybe it was just something I had to go through.

My boyfriend knows if he dumps me he'll have his spine ripped out so we're going to be together FOREVER!!!!!

(Enter horror music):pac:

17-09-2008 12:55pm

Will · 17-09-2008 1:27pm

I've a weird lil ritual, or maybe not so weird, not sure.

I get rid of everything in my life that reminds me of them, down to texts, phone numbers, msn details, emails, everything.
Always associate a song with a girl so depending on my mood either delete it, put it in 'the playlist' or just listen to it over and over again until it bares no meaning to me.

Once that's done, I go on long long walks everyday, around 3 hours or so to clear my head, reflect and just have time to myself.

Don't really talk about it to my mates as I feel I'm imposing on them.

Pyr0 · 17-09-2008 2:11pm

Will wrote: »

Don't really talk about it to my mates as I feel I'm imposing on them.

I think you meant to say as you're too much of a manly macho man to talk about your feelings in front of 'da lads', don't wanna seem like a pansy after all
*flexes*

:pac:

LolaDub · 17-09-2008 2:15pm

I guess i surround myself with the lady friends, head out on the town and flirt a lot or girly/horror movies with wine and chocolate, and go beserk shopping. Shoes always fill that void!

madziuda · 17-09-2008 2:45pm

I make sure I have loads of really loud, agressive songs on my ipod and go for a run in the park, singing along and scaring poor kids playing football there into a near catatonic state.

Fuuuuun:D

Crying comes later

Oh, and sometimes I make really rash, life-changing decisions. Like, say, emigrating...

Madame Razz · 17-09-2008 3:13pm

LolaDub wrote: »

Shoes always fill that void!

They so do.....they so really really do......:D

Will · 17-09-2008 3:29pm

Pyr0 wrote: »

I think you meant to say as you're too much of a manly macho man to talk about your feelings in front of 'da lads', don't wanna seem like a pansy after all
*flexes*

:pac:

Ha ha, no not at all. :cool:
Think it's just the done thing for guys, not to talk about the issues, just grin and bare it on your own.

JaneyMc · 17-09-2008 3:34pm

I feel nauseous for a week or so, I like to wallow in self pity in my bed and then go out and then go get drunk with my friends. I usually delete all traces of music that reminds me of them. Last time it was a huge chunk of my music gone :mad:

Cazlou · 17-09-2008 3:55pm

God you lot are so lucky you had friends around you to go out and party with!
My one and only breakup was a horrible horrible time. He finished with me on a day I had an exam, my family were all away on holiday so I was home alone and we were supposed to go to a concert that night. SO instead I was left curled up in a ball sobbing my heart out for three days til my family came home - that day I took my mind off things by scrubbing the house from top to bottom and making a casserole so there'd be something for them to eat when they got back.. My friends were all in relationships at the time and rather than trying to take my mind off things I just got 'there there' texts and one 'friend' ended our friendship as "now you're single we've nothing to talk about" that still makes me :eek: now! I'd have loved just one person to go on a mad night of dancing with, instead my poor Dad had to deal with all the tears:p

Awayindahils · 17-09-2008 4:07pm

Cazlou wrote: »

God you lot are so lucky you had friends around you to go out and party with!
My one and only breakup was a horrible horrible time. He finished with me on a day I had an exam, my family were all away on holiday so I was home alone and we were supposed to go to a concert that night. SO instead I was left curled up in a ball sobbing my heart out for three days til my family came home - that day I took my mind off things by scrubbing the house from top to bottom and making a casserole so there'd be something for them to eat when they got back.. My friends were all in relationships at the time and rather than trying to take my mind off things I just got 'there there' texts and one 'friend' ended our friendship as "now you're single we've nothing to talk about" that still makes me :eek: now! I'd have loved just one person to go on a mad night of dancing with, instead my poor Dad had to deal with all the tears:p

You poor thing!!

Dads can be good with tears though.

Cazlou · 17-09-2008 4:14pm

Awayindahils wrote: »

You poor thing!!

Dads can be good with tears though.

yeah he was a legend! first time he's ever had to deal with anything like that and he came up trumps!:D

Pyr0 · 17-09-2008 4:28pm

Will wrote: »

Ha ha, no not at all. :cool:
Think it's just the done thing for guys, not to talk about the issues, just grin and bare it on your own.

Not for me personally, I like talking about whats going on with my feelings to friends, gives another point of view on a problem and can give a little hand in coping with whatever is going on. And of course there's the shoulder to lean on and all that jazz !

17-09-2008 6:05pm

Cazlou wrote: »

God you lot are so lucky you had friends around you to go out and party with!
My one and only breakup was a horrible horrible time. He finished with me on a day I had an exam, my family were all away on holiday so I was home alone and we were supposed to go to a concert that night. SO instead I was left curled up in a ball sobbing my heart out for three days til my family came home - that day I took my mind off things by scrubbing the house from top to bottom and making a casserole so there'd be something for them to eat when they got back.. My friends were all in relationships at the time and rather than trying to take my mind off things I just got 'there there' texts and one 'friend' ended our friendship as "now you're single we've nothing to talk about" that still makes me :eek: now! I'd have loved just one person to go on a mad night of dancing with, instead my poor Dad had to deal with all the tears:p

That is just so horrible....How did these friends cope when their own relationships came to an end?

Raze_them_all · 17-09-2008 6:14pm

Get very drunk it works wonders.
My ex had an interesting method...go for a weekend away...with some lads...make one of them her new fella...break up with me...****!!!
Cue alot of alcohol consuming on my part, a bit of harmless fun and wayhey

Cazlou · 17-09-2008 6:16pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

That is just so horrible....How did these friends cope when their own relationships came to an end?

Well last I heard that 'friend' was engaged. Don't know anything further... for obvious reasons;)
Only one of them has actually been through a break-up since, my parents always saw her as a surrogate daughter so we had her come stay with us for a couple of days when her relationship hit the rocks, then she moved in with a workmate as it was closer to work, and did the whole out-on-the-lash thing with her. I ran into her ex's best mate one night and when I went back to her with the news that he wasn't doing great - it put her in great form and got her over the last stretch of grief:pac:

Aisling(",) · 17-09-2008 7:22pm

i dont really have break ups since i dont have relationships but i find that kids filims and musicals and not eating,and not talking to anyone helps me
then comes the i miss them stuffing my face stage but thankfully thats over pretty sharpish

pow wow · 17-09-2008 7:49pm

Find a replacement

Pj! · 17-09-2008 8:02pm

Feel very very crap for a very long time.

wasabi · 17-09-2008 8:25pm

In no particular order...
Cry.
Read comforting books like Harry Potter novels or Lois McMaster Bujold's stuff.
Eat chocolate, drink cocktails.
Go scuba diving.
Lift heavy things in the gym.
Imagine meeting ex in 10 years time trailing around Tesco, looking fat and knackered with a nagging wife and several whining snotnosed ugly kids in tow, and a trolley full of Dutch Gold and cheap frozen pizzas

pow wow · 17-09-2008 10:13pm

wasabi wrote: »

In no particular order...
Cry.
Read comforting books like Harry Potter novels or Lois McMaster Bujold's stuff.
Eat chocolate, drink cocktails.
Go scuba diving.
Lift heavy things in the gym.
Imagine meeting ex in 10 years time trailing around Tesco, looking fat and knackered with a nagging wife and several whining snotnosed ugly kids in tow, and a trolley full of Dutch Gold and cheap frozen pizzas

Pure gold Wasabi...and not the Dutch kind either

Dave147 · 17-09-2008 10:17pm

The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

It's a must for all break ups!

Just thought I'd intrude with that

LolaDub · 17-09-2008 10:17pm

ellscurr wrote: »

Find a replacement

Actually this /shopping is what i do. I tend to get over relationships quickly as well. If it was something i'm finding hard to get over a good flirt sorts it out. Tbh a week later when people ask if i'm ok all i think is who??

17-09-2008 10:22pm

wasabi wrote: »

Imagine meeting ex in 10 years time trailing around Tesco, looking fat and knackered with a nagging wife and several whining snotnosed ugly kids in tow, and a trolley full of Dutch Gold and cheap frozen pizzas

I saw the first ever boy to break my heart this week. Hadn't seen him in donkeys years.
He has finally caught the baldness.

17-09-2008 10:24pm

Cazlou wrote: »

Well last I heard that 'friend' was engaged. Don't know anything further... for obvious reasons;)
Only one of them has actually been through a break-up since, my parents always saw her as a surrogate daughter so we had her come stay with us for a couple of days when her relationship hit the rocks, then she moved in with a workmate as it was closer to work, and did the whole out-on-the-lash thing with her. I ran into her ex's best mate one night and when I went back to her with the news that he wasn't doing great - it put her in great form and got her over the last stretch of grief:pac:

Aww ye are very good.
Some of my friends are too into their relationships, they won't come out unless it is to a couple thing.
So I have seen alot less of them since I have become single.
If they ever break up with their beaus, I genuinely don't know how they will function.

Pj! · 17-09-2008 10:30pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

Aww ye are very good.
Some of my friends are too into their relationships, they won't come out unless it is to a couple thing.
So I have seen alot less of them since I have become single.
If they ever break up with their beaus, I genuinely don't know how they will function.

Yeah I know the kind. I'm all for falling in love but some couples are definitely wayyy too into it.

Rozabeez · 17-09-2008 10:38pm

After being dumped by my first boyfriend I was like a zombie, I couldn't eat, barely talked to anyone, at 15 it was a reeeeally big deal. 6 or 7 months seemed like a looong time, I laugh at it now though! None of my more recent 'boyfriends' actually lasted long enough for me to consider it a relationship. One lasted a year or so and the break up wasn't so bad, we both accepted that it had just run its course really.

So to sum it up, I don't really know how I'd relieve it other than going out with my girlfriends and getting twisted. Sad, I know.

wasabi · 17-09-2008 11:16pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

I saw the first ever boy to break my heart this week. Hadn't seen him in donkeys years.
He has finally caught the baldness.

Nice one!

Forky wrote: »

Yeah I know the kind. I'm all for falling in love but some couples are definitely wayyy too into it.

Yep, the couples events thing is just strange, I've seen this happen too! Have some good friends I never see except as part of the Unit. It's like the Borg.

ellscurr wrote: »

Pure gold Wasabi...and not the Dutch kind either

Thank you - that one is working well at the moment for me, got dumped out of the blue five weeks ago. Onwards and upwards...

Zaph · 17-09-2008 11:22pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

I saw the first ever boy to break my heart this week. Hadn't seen him in donkeys years.
He has finally caught the baldness.

I thought women liked bald men?

LolaDub · 18-09-2008 12:48am

Zaph wrote: »

I thought women liked bald men?

We do????

I suppose it depends on the type of baldness, don't like the i'll pinch your handbag after i get your number look but the old man balding (non combover) sometimes has a bit of maturity about it and we might feel a little sorry for the baldy. Can't dump someone for a hairstyle can we now!

Zaph · 18-09-2008 12:55am

Well the amount of women I see drooling over Sean Connery and Patrick Stewart is incredible. And almost all of them go on about bald being sexy. I suppose it does make a difference how they deal with their baldness. Combovers or growing the rest of the hair long is wrong no matter how you look at it.

As for dumping people for their hairstyle, if that really did happen the birth rate in the 80s would have been zero.

LolaDub · 18-09-2008 1:00am

That is matter of beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Every morning i wake up as an 80's dream but a 2008 nightmare!

Sean Connery is hawt! Patrick stewart not so much. I think Sean Connery has the hotness despite his age and baldness not because of it? James Bond will always be insanely attractive(except fot the one that cried-you're bond damnit grow a pair!)

18-09-2008 1:03am

LolaDub wrote: »

We do????

I suppose it depends on the type of baldness, don't like the i'll pinch your handbag after i get your number look but the old man balding (non combover) sometimes has a bit of maturity about it and we might feel a little sorry for the baldy. Can't dump someone for a hairstyle can we now!

Good lord no!!! You need to stay away from men who you pity missy!

There might be something to be said for the type of shiney headed baldy who makes up for it by being immaculately turned out. If your into that sort of thing.
But balding is never attractive.

LolaDub · 18-09-2008 1:05am

Moonbaby wrote: »

Good lord no!!! You need to stay away from men who you pity missy!

If i do the worst dates thread will start getting very boring

Raze_them_all · 18-09-2008 1:10am

LolaDub wrote: »

If i do the worst dates thread will start getting very boring

only go for people you pity!!! your providing me with to much entertainment to stop!!!

LolaDub · 18-09-2008 1:15am

Aw i feel like i'm getting a little fan club together!!! Mario has nothing on me!!

Break up relief

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