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Wedding Cost and Gifts

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  • 02-08-2015 7:46pm
    #1
    A_Sober_Paddy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,221 ✭✭✭


    So myself and the girlfriend were just talking about weddings and the cost, we're on different pages re size and budget, but that neither here or there at the moment, she is under the impression that 90% of the cost is recouped with wedding guests presents.

    Just outta curiosity what was yere experience with that, what % of your wedding cost was recouped by gifts. I think 90% is dream world stuff


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    #2
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Are you inviting your guests for their presence or their presents??????


    "recouping costs" Hey why don't you just sell tickets to your wedding so that you "recoup" 100%??????


    Do you expect to recoup costs on every party you throw as a matter of interest?


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    #3
    Lima Golf
    Registered Users Posts: 794 ✭✭✭Lima Golf


    This thread isn't going to end well :/


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    #4
    johnnyonionring
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭johnnyonionring


    amdublin wrote: »
    Are you inviting your guests for their presence or their presents??????


    "recouping costs" Hey why don't you just sell tickets to your wedding so that you "recoup" 100%??????


    Do you expect to recoup costs on every party you throw as a matter of interest?

    If you are not going to answer the question asked without trying to judge people you don't know then you shouldn't be commenting.

    I think its an honest question from someone just being curious. no need for the smartness


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    #5
    aaakev
    Registered Users Posts: 3,088 ✭✭✭aaakev


    Our wedding cost approximately €11k, i think in cash presents we got about €7k. We were delighted and it was unexpected as we only invited people we genuinely wanted to share the day with and would have been happy with just their presence for the weekend


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    #6
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    johnnyonionring wrote: »
    If you are not going to answer the question asked without trying to judge people you don't know then you shouldn't be commenting.

    I think its an honest question from someone just being curious. no need for the smartness



    I honestly don't think I am being smart.


    I don't like when weddings are seen as an opportunity to recoup costs. Why would you want to have a party and celebration with your friends when you are thinking of how to pay for it, and whether you will "recoup your costs" or not.


    I don't throw parties in my house thinking about recouping costs for it. And I paid for my own wedding. I don't need or want presents from my friends but anything they give (anything!!! cash or not) would be graciously accepted for the thought they put into it.


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    #7
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    To be honest, without going into the morality of expecting the wedding paid for, no I don't think you will get as many 'presents' as the wedding will cost. Some people try to give cash gifts to cover the cost of their plate. Not all guests do, and dont forget, on top of venue costs you have band, ceremony music, invite & booklets, cake, attire , make up & hair for the bridal party & wedding cars , flowers, centrepieces & photographer costs to factor in.


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    #8
    johnnyonionring
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭johnnyonionring


    amdublin wrote: »
    I honestly don't think I am being smart.


    I don't like when weddings are seen as an opportunity to recoup costs. Why would you want to have a party and celebration with your friends when you are thinking of how to pay for it, and whether you will "recoup your costs" or not.


    I don't throw parties in my house thinking about recouping costs for it. And I paid for my own wedding. I don't need or want presents from my friends but anything they give (anything!!! cash or not) would be graciously accepted for the thought they put into it.

    I don't think he is viewing his wedding as an opportunity to recoup costs. he was just being curious.


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    #9
    godtabh
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 23,204 Mod ✭✭✭✭godtabh


    amdublin wrote: »
    I honestly don't think I am being smart.


    I don't like when weddings are seen as an opportunity to recoup costs. Why would you want to have a party and celebration with your friends when you are thinking of how to pay for it, and whether you will "recoup your costs" or not.


    I don't throw parties in my house thinking about recouping costs for it. And I paid for my own wedding. I don't need or want presents from my friends but anything they give (anything!!! cash or not) would be graciously accepted for the thought they put into it.

    But that wasn't the question asked.

    For me it was about 50% but we saved for 2 years to make sure we had the wedding / honeymoon we wanted and still have some savings. Anything we got was a bonus and probably got more presents than cash as we had just bought a house as well


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    #10
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    godtabh wrote: »
    But that wasn't the question asked.



    Well this is a discussion forum, it's not unusual for people to give their opinion about the question asked on boards.ie


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    #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    OP, you need to sit down and do all the figures. Venue, food, drinks, band, disco, clothes for whole bridal party, cars, church, flowers hair,makeup, gifts for bridesmaids and anything else you can think of! If you are lucky, you'll get 50% of that in cash presents. If the other 50% is beyond your budget, you need to think again.


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    #12
    A_Sober_Paddy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,221 ✭✭✭A_Sober_Paddy


    I was asking out of curiosity, as my girlfriend was saying we could have a bigger wedding because guests will cover the cost I'd ideally want to be spending no more than 8k no more and she seems to be looking at 12k which is crazy...


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    #13
    johnnyonionring
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭johnnyonionring


    A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »
    I was asking out of curiosity, as my girlfriend was saying we could have a bigger wedding because guests will cover the cost I'd ideally want to be spending no more than 8k no more and she seems to be looking at 12k which is crazy...

    how many guests are you planning on inviting?


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    #14
    A_Sober_Paddy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,221 ✭✭✭A_Sober_Paddy


    johnnyonionring wrote: »
    how many guests are you planning on inviting?

    She was like 120-30


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    #15
    aaakev
    Registered Users Posts: 3,088 ✭✭✭aaakev


    amdublin wrote: »
    Well this is a discussion forum, it's not unusual for people to give their opinion about the question asked on boards.ie

    To be fair to the op he didn't seem like he was thinking that way, you just jumped on it and ran, really really far......


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    #16
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    aaakev wrote: »
    To be fair to the op he didn't seem like he was thinking that way, you just jumped on it and ran, really really far......



    Oh I am sorry? Stating that he/she wants to know how much costs they will recoup does not actually mean he/she wants to recoup costs?


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    #17
    aaakev
    Registered Users Posts: 3,088 ✭✭✭aaakev


    A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »
    She was like 120-30

    I think you will need to up your budget or if not possible, postpone until you can. Weddings, even when you try to keep on top of the costs absorb money like nothing else!

    The advice above from maryanne84 was solid but id say make sure you can cover 75%+


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    #18
    johnnyonionring
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭johnnyonionring


    A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »
    She was like 120-30

    that is not going to be cheap..... average 50 per head is already 6000, not to mention the dress, suits, flowers, cake, band, dj, transport etc....


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    #19
    aaakev
    Registered Users Posts: 3,088 ✭✭✭aaakev


    amdublin wrote: »
    Oh I am sorry? Stating that he/she wants to know how much costs they will recoup does not actually mean he/she wants to recoup costs?

    Come on now your first comment was out of order and i think you know it.
    johnnyonionring wrote: »
    that is not going to be cheap..... average 50 per head is already 6000, not to mention the dress, suits, flowers, cake, band, dj, transport etc....

    Yeah i had expected to get away with a similar budget the op has in mind but that was with 70-80 people in mind! We ended up with 60 odd and €11k. Was grand though because i only plan on doing it the once :P


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    #20
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    aaakev wrote: »
    Come on now your first comment was out of order and i think you know it.


    ....Was grand though because i only plan on doing it the once :P




    No. I personally do not think you should throw a party that you need to rely on your guests cash gifts so that you can "recoup costs". And while the op is not alone in thinking that way and is not alone in asking that question I think the question is out of order.


    I too intend only being married once so I saved and paid for my wedding myself without thought on "recouping costs"


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    #21
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »
    So myself and the girlfriend were just talking about weddings and the cost, we're on different pages re size and budget, but that neither here or there at the moment, she is under the impression that 90% of the cost is recouped with wedding guests presents.

    Just outta curiosity what was yere experience with that, what % of your wedding cost was recouped by gifts. I think 90% is dream world stuff

    You're right. We didn't "cover our costs" but we planned our wedding with our budget and savings in mind. If you can't afford something out of pocket do not rely on gifts to pay for it.


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    #22
    johnnyonionring
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭johnnyonionring


    lazygal wrote: »
    You're right. We didn't "cover our costs" but we planned our wedding with our budget and savings in mind. If you can't afford something out of pocket do not rely on gifts to pay for it.

    absolutely agree, best to just plan for whats in your budget


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    #23
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,905 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »
    I was asking out of curiosity, as my girlfriend was saying we could have a bigger wedding because guests will cover the cost I'd ideally want to be spending no more than 8k no more and she seems to be looking at 12k which is crazy...

    Ooh jaysus that's dangerous territory you're straying into there! Factoring in gifts into the budget is nuts - the days of being guaranteed to get €200+ from each couple are gone. You could get a good chunk of cash, but you could also get a lot of 'wrapped up' gifts instead of cash. My advice is this: if your GF wants to spend 12k, then budget as though you're going to get 130 toasters - make sure you can cover all your costs without needing cash gifts, then any that you do get can be used to buy yourselves some nice treats.


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    #24
    Typer Monkey
    Registered Users Posts: 941 ✭✭✭Typer Monkey


    The cash gifts we got totalled around 50% of what our wedding cost. I'd guess that's pretty standard


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    #25
    chanelfreak
    Registered Users Posts: 212 ✭✭chanelfreak


    I don't remember what we got as cash gifts, to be fair it wasn't much at all and we weren't expecting anything as we got married abroad, so we honestly expected nothing as we knew the people who wanted to come would be out of pocket factoring in flights, hotels, etc.

    We were super-boring and we put everything in a spreadsheet with the max cost factored in to give us an idea of what we'd need and then we saved like mad for two years. We paid for everything ourselves and to be honest with you, boring as it sounds, I'd recommend doing the same thing. As Toots said, the day and age of cash gifts is gone and it's really not a good idea to factor those in to cover some of the cost, as you could end up seriously out of pocket and having to get an unexpected loan out, which takes the shine off the big day.


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    #26
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭skallywag


    amdublin wrote: »
    Oh I am sorry? Stating that he/she wants to know how much costs they will recoup does not actually mean he/she wants to recoup costs?

    Read the OP's opening post again.

    It's something that I could also be curious about myself, without at all necessarily meaning that it was my actual intention. It's a perfectly valid question, and I think that the OP deserves the feedback that he is looking for rather than folk jumping right down his throat.

    OP, when my brother got married four years ago or so the cash gifts that they received were in the region of 2/3 of the total wedding costs.

    The sniping & bitchiness on this forum never ceases to amaze me, it has to be the most acidic place on boards ...


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    #27
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    skallywag wrote: »
    Read the OP's opening post again.

    It's something that I could also be curious about myself, without at all necessarily meaning that it was my actual intention. It's a perfectly valid question, and I think that the OP deserves the feedback that he is looking for rather than folk jumping right down his throat.

    OP, when my brother got married four years ago or so the cash gifts that they received were in the region of 2/3 of the total wedding costs.

    The sniping & bitchiness on this forum never ceases to amaze me, it has to be the most acidic place on boards ...

    Weddings bring out the worst in people!


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    #28
    thomas anderson.
    Registered Users Posts: 1,107 ✭✭✭thomas anderson.


    We're inviting ~80 and it's going to cost ~15k. This is the cheapest we can get it to and doesn't include any surprises along the way


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    #29
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    skallywag wrote: »
    Read the OP's opening post again.

    It's something that I could also be curious about myself, without at all necessarily meaning that it was my actual intention. It's a perfectly valid question, and I think that the OP deserves the feedback that he is looking for rather than folk jumping right down his throat.

    OP, when my brother got married four years ago or so the cash gifts that they received were in the region of 2/3 of the total wedding costs.

    The sniping & bitchiness on this forum never ceases to amaze me, it has to be the most acidic place on boards ...



    I have a differing view. I don't think it's valid at all to be questioning how much cash you will get for throwing a party.


    I invite people to come celebrate with me and I don't think it's appropriate to see them as a method for paying for the party and in advance to be calculating how much I will "recoup" from them.


    Like I said, the op is not alone in thinking like this way, but I don't think that way and I don't like that way of thinking. And I think my opinion is as a valid as all you people who think it is okay to be thinking this way


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    #30
    MsGiggles
    Registered Users Posts: 1,268 ✭✭✭MsGiggles


    amdublin wrote: »
    I have a differing view. I don't think it's valid at all to be questioning how much cash you will get for throwing a party.


    I invite people to come celebrate with me and I don't think it's appropriate to see them as a method for paying for the party and in advance to be calculating how much I will "recoup" from them.


    Like I said, the op is not alone in thinking like this way, but I don't think that way and I don't like that way of thinking. And I think my opinion is as a valid as all you people who think it is okay to be thinking this way

    To be fair I don't think he even said that. He said his partner thought that way and asked if anyone on here would have a similar viewpoint. I don't think its fair to assume he thinks this way when he only asked a question....


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    #31
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭skallywag


    amdublin wrote: »
    ...the op is not alone in thinking like this...

    Read the OP's opening post again.

    He said no such thing.


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