Priest objecting to marriage?

BrianCalgary wrote: »

Hypocrisy to me. If you dont go to mass and are part of the church body how can you expect the priest to roll over and compromise his values for your convenience?

Easily - just tell him that you're both converting to the Church of Ireland and watch that paperwork fly-on through the Archbishop's House.

It's all part of the hypocrisy; the Catholic church allows married Protestant priests with kids who convert to practice as Catholic priests and also recognises the legitimacy of the children.

Basically OP, you made the big mistake of being truthful to your local PP. Just tell him whatever guff he wants to hear and get on with the serious business of planning the reception.

I'm with everyone else. If you don't like the rules of the RC Church then do what I did and excommunicate yourself from it. There are plenty of other ways to get married in the eyes of God. In saying that though you won't get a big Church wedding and won't be able to impress your friends. But if that is what's motivating you to be married in a Catholic Church in the first place rather than because you love the person you are marrying then lying about your motives to the Priest will not make any difference in the eyes of God, you are already lying to yourself anyway.

But I do think it is a bit rich of the Priest to get all Holy on your ass when nearly everyone I know of that has gotten married in a RC Church care nothing for it from one end of the year to the other so I fail to see why he's being so pedantic about it with you

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

From my understanding, the premise of a Christian marriage extends greatly beyond that of loving your spouse, SW. It is a relationship not based merely upon loving your better half but also on God.

Marriage is merely a union between two people that is blessed by God. It’s just a contract (all be it a very special contract to the individuals involved) that two people agree to be faithful to until death in the sight of God. If God exists at all isn’t everything in His sight anyway? What escapes Him? Shouldn't they love God regardless of whether they are married or not? If they don't love Him already then how will getting married to each other change that?

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

With this in mind, and given the OPs lax attitude towards the Church's rules (I'm not judging, btw), it is entirely reasonable for the priest to refuse the OP and his fiancée a service in the Church.

I never said it wasn't reasonable, just very double standard-ish given that there are thousands of people in this country that don't care a dime about the RCC from one end of the year to the other even after they are married? They are not God centred people. They are self centred people. I've nothing against that per se but loose the holy marriage thing and just live with each other and be faithful to each other. God will still bless you if you just ask Him to. He doesn't need a Church building to do that. If you don't believe in Mass and all that RCC stuff then have the gonads to get out of it and live your convictions. Give me an outright atheist any day, I can respect them for at least being honest to what they perceive to be truth and living by it.

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

Given the sentiment of your previous paragraph it is contradictory of you to criticise the priest for his actions.

If the RCC are going to be serious about people going to Mass etc before allowing them to be married then why don't they do it to everyone across the board? Or maybe they do but people just lie to them? Hence my previous point.

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

Actions that you have assumed he is not consistent in applying to others.

Yes I have assumed that and I’m open to correction on it. Do you assume I am wrong? Then I assume that you are probably right.

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

Since the OP has failed to adhere to some of the more basic principles of Catholicism (again, I'm not condemning him), I would question why he and his fiancée feel the need to have a wedding in a Catholic Church at all.

So do I. If they don't like the way the RCC does things then my advice is simple; tow the line and shut up or stop being a so called Catholic living a lie and just get out of it.

If you’re gonna be a Roman Catholic then BE ONE. To me a Roman Catholic is someone who goes to Mass every week, prays the Rosary at whatever time they pray the Rosary, pauses for the Angeles, observes Holy days like Ascension Thursday and Good Friday, who get ashes on Ash Wednesday and so on and so on. I can respect Catholics that do those things because that is what being a Catholic is, actually being one. If you are not doing these Catholic things when it is the Catholic time to do them then you are not a Catholic despite what it says on your Baptismal cert. There is no such thing as a non practising Catholic who call themselves Catholic IMO. To me you’re just non Catholic. It’s no big deal, just stop confusing yourself about who and what you are and just be who you really are and let the chips fall where they may. Like the atheists, at least they know what they are and what believe and don’t believe.

Bduffman wrote: »

Personally I hope the catholic church would enforce their rules if they truly believe they are that important. Then we'd see how many catholics there actually are in the country. I am always amazed at how many people call themselves catholics yet don't believe in the basic beliefs of the church eg the bread used at being actually converted into flesh?? How many people truly believe in that?? I'll bet its far few than is stated on the last census thats for sure. As I said, if the catholic church insist on strictly applying their rules then it'll die off far quicker than its happening now. If you limit marriages to only 'true catholics' we'd see very few church weddings. Keep it up boys you're only speeding up your own demise.

+1
Especially the sacraments. Most people who called themself Roman Catholic haven't really much a clue about what any of its believes are. If the Roman Catholic Church actually stuck to its rules, this OP's dilema would be the rule not the exception. Then people might actually tell the truth on the census, the government would have better data and we actually have more secular schools and multi-denomial schools.

My sister wanted a Church wedding, got it and seemed perturbed by the idea she had to go to Mass and Church wedding course. Now pretty much the same is happening because she wants to baptize her child. She asks the Priest for info, Priest says: "Why are you asking me this? I made an announcement about this at mass last weekend? Where you not there?"
"No"
"Well I'll be making them again this weekend?"
I say fair play to him. All this pretending to be Roman Catholic just to keep up with Jones, is nothing more than lies. Religions thrive on truth. Why should they facilitate things they know are lies?

CTU_Agent wrote: »

I have absolutley no interest in getting married in a church to impress friends and family. If I wanted to impress i would have booked a castle and had a civil ceremony instead. My reasons for getting married in a church are because I am catholic and I want our marriage to take place in the house of god. Simple as that.

How can you call yourself a Catholic when you don’t and won’t even go to Mass? I'm really starting to side with the Priest on this one and I never like it when that happens Why is getting married in a Church building so important to you when 52 Sundays out of every year Church buildings hold no importance to you at all? If you were a committed Catholic and this was happening to you I would be outraged for you but you're not so I have no empathy or sympathy for you I'm sorry.

BrianCalgary wrote: »

There are ways to do it. Go to your former priest who knows you, could be one solution.

But what if he doesn't even know one RC Priest?
What would that say?

BrianCalgary wrote: »

Then how could one be expected to be married in and RC church or participate in any of teh sacraments without ever knowing a priest?

And there you have it in one.

On a completely unrelated note there are these four weird horsemen standing outside my window...

Michael G wrote: »

And there are Christians agreeing with them as well. Actually I think it's just an outbreak of clear thinking on all sides, regardless of people's differing convictions.

I think the common factor between all the Christians and Atheists here is that we try not to be hypocrites. We think about what we belief in and then try to live that way. The OP is bemused why he can't be a hypocrite.

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

The Catholic Church likes to think in numbers. It looks impressive if they can state that 1.2 Billion exist and that they are the largest "Christian" church on earth when infact only a fraction of that amount would be devout Cathiolics.

The present Pope actually takes a different view. He has said that numbers don't matter much; it is the vitality of the Church that counts.

But in any case what proportion of members of other Christian churches could be classified as "devout", even using the basic standard of acquiescing with the Apostles' Creed?

I think if you want to be in a club then you agree to abide by the rules and sign up. If you don't like the rules then leave...simple as! This applies to any religious organisation.

You can't decide to obey/disobey the rules you like/don't like. RC church does not allow contraception, marriage without being open to have children, marriage without attending mass on a regular basis (i.e. practising catholics).
If you don't abide by RC rules and just believe in Christ, that makes you a Christian - not an RC.

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Maybe he thought it was a bad idea for you who said you were going to raise your kids Catholic to be marrying a woman who didn't want to have kids.

I think your fiancee should just pretend to want kids. It's not like the church is a hotel or whatever

Then you would be bearing false witness. I admire the couple for being upfront with the priest. Th enext step is to determine whether or not the RC church is really for them?

If you consider yourself a Christian, but don't wish to get hung up on the contraception thing, you might consider a different denomination or even a non-denominational Church.

Indeed!