Most disappointing toys from your childhood

Akrasia · 18-04-2014 9:28am #1

Everyone remembers the toys that they always wanted but never got, and the toys that they loved and played with every day, but what about the toys that promised so much but delivered so little?

I remember when I was 8, I got 'Shark Attack Bowling' for my birthday
It's a game where you have a wind up plastic shark that you aim at a bunch of plastic pins shaped like fish.

The Ads on the tv were cool but man was it boring to play. It took ages to set up the pins and then when you hit them with the shark, half the time they didn't fall over properly, and even if they did, the payoff was nowhere near the effort.

We ended up using the pins as targets for water guns and bow and arrows (that we made from beech trees and bailing twine) so at least it wasn't a complete waste of money.

18-04-2014 9:29am

Dolls. I never could understand why girls got given dolls. They're so frickin boring.

MrSchecter · 18-04-2014 9:30am

The virtual reality advertisements were grossly misleading.

El Guapo! · 18-04-2014 9:32am

A pair of rollerblades.

Put them on, fell on my hole a thousand times, buried them in a wardrobe forever.

stefan idiot jones · 18-04-2014 9:35am

Evil Knevil rocket and motorbike.

Utter Crap. Fell over within a foot of the winding launcher.

fryup · 18-04-2014 9:36am

the stylophone, awful sound off it..like a bumble bee in a jar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqpICSfKFE0

RoboRat · 18-04-2014 9:37am

Domino Rally... reminds me of sex, hours of putting the groundwork and effort in for a couple of seconds of pleasure.... even worse when you are let down by a faulty product

Akrasia · 18-04-2014 9:40am

Deleted User wrote: »

Dolls. I never could understand why girls got given dolls. They're so frickin boring.

My wife got some china dolls from an aunt when she was a girl but wasn't allowed to play with them in case they broke. When she was a teenager she drew goth makeup all over them in permanent marker and altered all their clothes so now they're pretty freakin badass

whiskeyman · 18-04-2014 9:42am

Asking Santa for a radio controlled truck, but getting one that has a cable going to it instead!
I may as well just push the truck along as the cable is only 2 metres long anyway!
Had dreams of controlling it from my bedroom window and watchin it zoom around the streets and back garden...

Akrasia · 18-04-2014 9:42am

El Guapo! wrote: »

A pair of rollerblades.

Put them on, fell on my hole a thousand times, buried them in a wardrobe forever.

I got rollerblades while on holiday in France, they were really cheap over there, i think 200 francs or something. I spent half the holiday learning how to skate and brought them home.
It's much harder to rollerblade on gravel than it is on tarmac.

Akrasia · 18-04-2014 9:53am

whiskeyman wrote: »

Asking Santa for a radio controlled truck, but getting one that has a cable going to it instead!
I may as well just push the truck along as the cable is only 2 metres long anyway!
Had dreams of controlling it from my bedroom window and watchin it zoom around the streets and back garden...

Most radio control cars promise more than they deliver.

I remember my uncle had this RC car in his bedroom and he would never let me play with it and it looked so awesome, Finally years later he was moving house and he said I could have it.

It was not as fast or as fun as it looked on his shelf.

anncoates · 18-04-2014 9:54am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Dolls. I never could understand why girls got given dolls. They're so frickin boring.

So their brothers can take the dolls hostage and force them to do sex positions.

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 9:56am

I got one of those push scooters for Christmas one year.

Such a waste. the roads were/are terrible at home so couldn't use it, the house was surrounded by either grass or gravel so couldn't use it there and the footpath didn't even go the whole way to town.

smallerthanyou · 18-04-2014 9:57am

Mousetrap. Wanted it for about two years, finally got it and it wasn't very good!

pickarooney · 18-04-2014 9:57am

Deleted User wrote: »

Dolls. I never could understand why girls got given dolls. They're so frickin boring.

How are they boring, assuming they're in some way articulated? You can do pretty much anything with a doll.

Gambas · 18-04-2014 9:59am

Scalectrix.

Always wanted a set, but never got one. Until I was a parent and I bought it 'for the kids'. Very disappointed.

dan1895 · 18-04-2014 10:01am

whiskeyman wrote: »

Asking Santa for a radio controlled truck, but getting one that has a cable going to it instead!
I may as well just push the truck along as the cable is only 2 metres long anyway!
Had dreams of controlling it from my bedroom window and watchin it zoom around the streets and back garden...

I got what looked like a radio controlled police car before but on opening the box it turned it was just a battery operated police car. Just switch it on and let it go, had absolutely no control over it. Two minutes of this before it was switched off and next time it was seen was on its way to the sale of work.

biketard · 18-04-2014 10:03am

whiskeyman wrote: »

Asking Santa for a radio controlled truck, but getting one that has a cable going to it instead!
I may as well just push the truck along as the cable is only 2 metres long anyway!
Had dreams of controlling it from my bedroom window and watchin it zoom around the streets and back garden...

Ha! You just reminded me of a "remote controlled" police car my granny bought me. It had the (far too short) cable, like yours. Also, it could only go straight forward, or backwards while swerving to the left. Trouble is that the wheel that was supposed to move so that it reversed on a curve didn't work right, so it ended up only ever going straight forward or straight back. Brilliant present that one.

Will I Amnt · 18-04-2014 10:04am

Bought one of these last Sunday. They don't tell you that it's on a fecking string and you have to drag it around :rolleyes:

Gambas · 18-04-2014 10:04am

Oh, and Action Man. Looked so cool in the ads, but in real life he was almost impossible to stand up, nevermind stand up and look imposing. Always with bendy limbs that made him look like he suffered from rickets, and he held guns like an accordion.

Gambas · 18-04-2014 10:05am

dan1895 wrote: »

sale of work.

haven't heard that expression in a looooong time.

Davarus Walrus · 18-04-2014 10:06am

Subbuteo. The ads made it look like you could capture the atmosphere of a FA Cup Final. The reality was a crumpled pitch, complex rules flicking plastic players with your finger, and punching your brother in the face after playing it for 5 minutes with him.

anncoates · 18-04-2014 10:07am

Gambas wrote: »

Scalectrix.

Always wanted a set, but never got one. Until I was a parent and I bought it 'for the kids'. Very disappointed.

This.

And subbuteo as well.

Totally looked better on TV.

The sandwich toaster of the toy world.

castletownman · 18-04-2014 10:09am

When I first got a video games console the coolest game around was Bonestorm.

But I ended up getting Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge. It was sooo boring.

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:10am

whiskeyman wrote: »

Asking Santa for a radio controlled truck, but getting one that has a cable going to it instead!
I may as well just push the truck along as the cable is only 2 metres long anyway!
Had dreams of controlling it from my bedroom window and watchin it zoom around the streets and back garden...

Akrasia wrote: »

Most radio control cars promise more than they deliver.

I remember my uncle had this RC car in his bedroom and he would never let me play with it and it looked so awesome, Finally years later he was moving house and he said I could have it.

It was not as fast or as fun as it looked on his shelf.

What you wanted is this beast

The Tyco RC Python (stupid name when you see what it does)

Looked like a normal RC car and was really fecking good, great speed fairly bullet proof but with the press of a button it opened up to reveal a snake that would shoot water (ya know like a spitting cobra, not a fecking python)
images below and pretty sure i have one down home, must check now this weekend

Waitsian · 18-04-2014 10:10am

The Slinky.

Its a spring that goes down the stairs. Yeah, and....? :rolleyes:

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:11am

anncoates wrote: »

This.

And subbuteo as well.

Totally looked better on TV.

The sandwich toaster of the toy world.

wow wow wow hang on...

are you dissing sandwich toasters?

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:12am

mod9maple wrote: »

The Slinky.

Its a spring that goes down the stairs. Yeah, and....? :rolleyes:

it breaks gravity...

http://media.giphy.com/media/huYDeLxRJEXGU/giphy.gif

Maphisto · 18-04-2014 10:12am

Deleted User wrote: »

Dolls. I never could understand why girls got given dolls. They're so frickin boring.

I always peeked in there undies - for a time I thought everyone must be like that too.

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:13am

Maphisto wrote: »

I always peeked in there undies - for a time I thought everyone must be like that too.

peeking into undies or smooth?

anncoates · 18-04-2014 10:15am

danniemcq wrote: »

wow wow wow hang on...

are you dissing sandwich toasters?

No, they're awesome.

But they never turn out as stylishly perfect as the blurb pictures.

Or maybe my technique is to blame.

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:17am

anncoates wrote: »

No, they're awesome.

But they never turn out as stylishly perfect as the blurb pictures.

Or maybe my technique is to blame.

Tiny bit of oil/butter on the plates and put butter on the inside of the sandwich.

make sure you put sandwich in when its nice and hot (i wait that extra while after the light) when done add a nice bit of proper butter on top of it for that extra bit of awesomeness.

Maphisto · 18-04-2014 10:18am

danniemcq wrote: »

peeking into undies or smooth?

Both thinking about it. But when I wrote (like 2 seconds ago) I meant smooth I thought I was the only one avec ...

whisky_galore · 18-04-2014 10:20am

Akrasia wrote: »

My wife got some china dolls from an aunt when she was a girl but wasn't allowed to play with them in case they broke. When she was a teenager she drew goth makeup all over them in permanent marker and altered all their clothes so now they're pretty freakin badass

They'd be probably worth €100's as antiques if she left them alone!

wp_rathead · 18-04-2014 10:20am

Living out in the shticks was rare I got to get to go toy shop, had a bit saved up and when I got in I bought a toy wrestling ring. Got home and opened it and little did I know the wrestler action figures were sold separately.. for two months I had to use rolled up socks and pretend they were wrestlers...

anncoates · 18-04-2014 10:20am

danniemcq wrote: »

Tiny bit of oil/butter on the plates and put butter on the inside of the sandwich.

make sure you put sandwich in when its nice and hot (i wait that extra while after the light) when done add a nice bit of proper butter on top of it for that extra bit of awesomeness.

Firing up that mother now.

Cheese and onion toastie here I come.

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:21am

Maphisto wrote: »

Both thinking about it. But when I wrote (like 2 seconds ago) I meant smooth I thought I was the only one avec ...

Must have been awful confusing looking at action men

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:21am

anncoates wrote: »

Firing up that mother now.

Cheese and onion toastie here I come.

I used to have sugar in mine, just butter and sugar. jeez i'm fierce hungry now

Maphisto · 18-04-2014 10:23am

danniemcq wrote: »

Must have been awful confusing looking at action men

Welcome to my world

Ihatecuddles · 18-04-2014 10:24am

I thought you butter the outside of the bread in the sandwich toaster?

Oh God they're so awesome I might just get out of bed for one.

anncoates · 18-04-2014 10:24am

danniemcq wrote: »

I used to have sugar in mine, just butter and sugar. jeez i'm fierce hungry new

A mate of mine in school used to love sugar sambos. Classic 80s Dublin fare

pickarooney · 18-04-2014 10:26am

I'm having a toasted sandwich tonight.

danniemcq · 18-04-2014 10:28am

mauzo! wrote: »

I thought you butter the outside of the bread in the sandwich toaster?

Oh God they're so awesome I might just get out of bed for one.

If the outside has butter it makes it wile soggy and can do more harm than good so a light coating on the plates is all you really need.

With the butter on the inside only you get the crunch on the outside and a lovely soft middle

Well thats what i find anyway

anncoates wrote: »

A mate of mine in school used to love sugar sambos. Classic 80s Dublin fare

Food Hack: if you ever have a banana sandwich sprinkle some sugar on it too.

MS.ing · 18-04-2014 10:35am

pickarooney wrote: »

I'm having a toasted sandwich tonight.

is that a euphamism involving two black women?

Akrasia · 18-04-2014 10:37am

Gambas wrote: »

Scalectrix.

Always wanted a set, but never got one. Until I was a parent and I bought it 'for the kids'. Very disappointed.

It was better in the 1980s

My father bought us a set that had 4 lanes and the proper little cars. It was awesome. the cars had lights on them and we set up the barriers with little reflective stickers and drove around in the dark with the curtains drawn. Half the fun was making your own tracks with hills and going under furniture and stuff.

I was looking at a modern Scalectrix set recently for and the quality was nowhere near as good

Ace Attorney · 18-04-2014 10:39am

This creepy ass toy phone on wheels.

D.Q · 18-04-2014 10:41am

Stretch Armstrong.

MS.ing · 18-04-2014 10:42am

danniemcq wrote: »

Food Hack: if you ever have a banana sandwich sprinkle some sugar on it too.

thats the thing I thought of when he mentioned sugar sandwiches (dafuq

)

use to be mad for them when a kid :cool:

Akrasia · 18-04-2014 10:42am

danniemcq wrote: »

What you wanted is this beast

The Tyco RC Python (stupid name when you see what it does)

Looked like a normal RC car and was really fecking good, great speed fairly bullet proof but with the press of a button it opened up to reveal a snake that would shoot water (ya know like a spitting cobra, not a fecking python)
images below and pretty sure i have one down home, must check now this weekend

I always wanted one of those

We had a porsche 911 'remote' controlled car with the string (not radio controlled). My dad decided it was too slow so he jammed in some D batteries when it was only supposed to take C batteries. The car took off like lightning and we ran around chasing it for about 3 minutes until the motor totally burnt out.

It was worth it.

problemchimp · 18-04-2014 10:42am

My older sister got a torch with no bulb and it just vibrated when turned on. Rubbish, she just put it under her matress and left it there. She used to try to get it to work every now and then and just groaned when it wouldn't light up

GerB40 · 18-04-2014 10:42am

A yo-yo. Fúckin pointless piece of shyte. "Oh look it's going down. Oh wait a sec, yep it's comin back up!!, ah crap it's slowing down, no wait, it's going back down again!!!!, what an age we live in!".

Most disappointing toys from your childhood

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