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Close Security Diary in Dangerous Terrain

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  • 07-06-2012 2:41pm
    #1
    investment
    Registered Users Posts: 573 ✭✭✭


    Ok as many of you know I moved to dubai recently to start my new job. I will be head of security for a well know shakai who his worth billions through his oil fields. I'll update you on day to day events without security
    being compromised.

    This thread can answer a lot of questions for those who are considering a job in security abroad.

    I've had a few minor run ins with the law over not wearing a tee shirt the first day I arrived.however my boss was able to save my ass (which sounds Irony when I should be saving his ass)


    The weather is good its over 30 degrees today :D
    Tagged:


«1345

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    #2
    Morpheus
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 2,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Morpheus


    Is that shakai hislop or shakai khan!?

    :D

    Investment on duty:

    tumblr_m4i49va6Qo1r0jfn8o1_500.gif


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    #3
    goldie fish
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,195 ✭✭✭goldie fish


    Dear investment.

    I have discovered hair growing on the strangest places on my body. Is this normal. Do you want to see?

    Regards etc.

    A Man.


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    #4
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    Dear Investment,

    I have been considering a career in Private Security. But I have a problem you may be able to help me with, I am a very handsome man, I also have amazing soldiering skills (honed by years of reading andy mcnabb books and watching ultimate force on repeat) and a body envied by adonis himself, a lot of traits shared by yourself. I'm worried that if I go to Muslamic country all their wimminz will be instantly wet and throw off their burkas and try have sex with me.

    I know you have had a similar problem recently with roger and that incident involving the bikers and paddling pool of baby oil. What would you reccomend that I do in order to avoid offending their beliefs? As, aswell as being an awesome soldier and handsome I am sensitive and culturally aware.

    Would you reccomend I avoid arsless chaps and desert boots? Or should I stick to the the standard jeans and baseball cap PSD chic?


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    #5
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    Dear Investment,

    Can you please have a word with "FANTAPANTS" and "IRISHREDSTAR", who may or may not be sharing the same brain.

    I think they would benefit from you and Roger "educating" them on military matters.


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    #6
    investment
    Registered Users Posts: 573 ✭✭✭investment


    Ok men cope the fcuk on :mad::mad:...I'm giving up my time when I could be out chasing black pussey and looking around dubai and shopping


    Anymore stupid questions and your post will be reported. I've been asked to write this diary after receiving lots of pm's asking how I'm getting on being a CS in dubai


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    #7
    bodyguard1
    Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭bodyguard1


    Just came across your thread entitled Close Security Diary in Dangerous Terrain

    Firstly I think the only danger there is in that Terrain, is YOU ! I'm hoping that you are really some 16 year old Walter Mitty type character sitting in the safety of their bedroom under the Close Protection of your parents roof because if you are for real and indeed recently appointed to the position of Head of Security for some well know shaki (as you so elegantly describe yourself) I feel sorry for your client, as I think his life is in serious danger !

    If you are in fact contracted to the position you describe, and this blog is for genuine, I have learned a lot about a career in security abroad that obviously their standards are extremely low as you were hired to protect a WELL KNOWN figure in Dubai who is worth Billions.

    It won't be too hard for the terrorists to track down your BOSS as he will be the one with bright red Paddy not wearing a T-shirt wandering approximately 30 feet behind him with his hands in his pockets enjoying the lovely weather.


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    #8
    twinytwo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,166 ✭✭✭twinytwo


    to walter mitty with this drivel


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    #9
    Kat1170
    Registered Users Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭Kat1170


    Is it really called Dubai beacuse when you go there you Dubai lots of stuff 'cos its really cheap :D


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    #10
    goldie fish
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,195 ✭✭✭goldie fish


    Kat1170 wrote: »
    Is it really called Dubai beacuse when you go there you Dubai lots of stuff 'cos its really cheap :D


    It is called Dubai because the irish built their oil infastructure. The Locals were so impressed, now that they had enough wealth to create an independant arab state, they were most thankful to the Irish workers, and wished to name the land in their honour.

    One of the Sheiks went to an irish builder, about to depart for his less sunny home in cork and asked
    "Can I name this land after your people?"

    The corkman replied...


    DO BOY!


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    #11
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    goldie fish wrote: »
    Kat1170 wrote: »
    Is it really called Dubai beacuse when you go there you Dubai lots of stuff 'cos its really cheap :D


    It is called Dubai because the irish built their oil infastructure. The Locals were so impressed, now that they had enough wealth to create an independant arab state, they were most thankful to the Irish workers, and wished to name the land in their honour.

    One of the Sheiks went to an irish builder, about to depart for his less sunny home in cork and asked
    "Can I name this land after your people?"

    The corkman replied...


    DO BOY!


    That story has a greater ring of truth to it than the OP's


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    #12
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    investment wrote: »
    Ok as many of you know I moved to dubai recently to start my new job. I will be head of security for a well know shakai who his worth billions through his oil fields. I'll update you on day to day events without security
    being compromised.

    This thread can answer a lot of questions for those who are considering a job in security abroad.

    I've had a few minor run ins with the law over not wearing a tee shirt the first day I arrived.however my boss was able to save my ass (which sounds Irony when I should be saving his ass)


    The weather is good its over 30 degrees today :D

    I've never been to Dubai (apart to fly through it's airport), but I have been to other parts of the UAE and to Oman further along the coast and I would observe the following from your statement........

    1 - what you're doing is close protection, not close security

    2 - progressive and all as the Dubai Police Force are, I doubt they'd overlook a modesty offence as you describe - also, given the importance of dresscode in the UAE, I doubt your boss would have tolerated you going shirtless for whatever reason because your behaviour reflects on him, his family and his company (and even his tribe, depending on how traditional his outlook is) - if you got lifted by the cops he would drop you quicker than soggy jocks for what would be regarded as dishonourable and disrespectful behaviour

    3 - this time of year the weather is always over 30 degrees in UAE - daytime temps get well over 40 and even at night it's over 30 degrees (desert temps can top 50!)

    4 - I may be wrong on this one, but I think the Al Maktoum family own all the oilfields (or perhaps the state does) and licences exploitation of them to other companies - are you claiming to work for the Dubai Royal Family?

    If you are going to post crap, at least make it well researched crap......


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    #13
    investment
    Registered Users Posts: 573 ✭✭✭investment


    Jawgap wrote: »
    I've never been to Dubai (apart to fly through it's airport), but I have been to other parts of the UAE and to Oman further along the coast and I would observe the following from your statement........

    1 - what you're doing is close protection, not close security

    2 - progressive and all as the Dubai Police Force are, I doubt they'd overlook a modesty offence as you describe - also, given the importance of dresscode in the UAE, I doubt your boss would have tolerated you going shirtless for whatever reason because your behaviour reflects on him, his family and his company (and even his tribe, depending on how traditional his outlook is) - if you got lifted by the cops he would drop you quicker than soggy jocks for what would be regarded as dishonourable and disrespectful behaviour

    3 - this time of year the weather is always over 30 degrees in UAE - daytime temps get well over 40 and even at night it's over 30 degrees (desert temps can top 50!)

    4 - I may be wrong on this one, but I think the Al Maktoum family own all the oilfields (or perhaps the state does) and licences exploitation of them to other companies - are you claiming to work for the Dubai Royal Family?

    If you are going to post crap, at least make it well researched crap......


    First off if your going to post shoite about me here get your facts right or I'll put another gap in your jaw.

    I'm in dubai working and I could not give a fcuk about you..sitting a home on the dole. While I live the dream

    This is a diary not an inquire you MOG:mad::mad:


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    #14
    Tabnabs
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 15,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tabnabs


    investment wrote: »
    Ok as many of you know I moved to dubai recently to start my new job. I will be head of security for a well know shakai who his worth billions through his oil fields. I'll update you on day to day events without security
    being compromised.

    This thread can answer a lot of questions for those who are considering a job in security abroad.

    I've had a few minor run ins with the law over not wearing a tee shirt the first day I arrived.however my boss was able to save my ass (which sounds Irony when I should be saving his ass)


    The weather is good its over 30 degrees today :D

    Ninja%20Security.jpg

    "Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it"


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    #15
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    investment wrote: »
    First off if your going to post shoite about me here get your facts right or I'll put another gap in your jaw.

    I'm in dubai working and I could not give a fcuk about you..sitting a home on the dole. While I live the dream

    This is a diary not an inquire you MOG:mad::mad:

    What's happening now (right now) in Dubai?


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    #16
    helimachoptor
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,643 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    Jawgap wrote: »
    What's happening now (right now) in Dubai?

    Off to google "current activities in Dubai":pac::pac::pac:

    Erm Sunshine??


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    #17
    fenris
    Registered Users Posts: 3,078 ✭✭✭fenris


    investment wrote: »
    sitting at home on the dole. While I live in a dream

    Fixed that for you


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    #18
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    helimachoptor wrote: »
    Off to google "current activities in Dubai":pac::pac::pac:

    Erm Sunshine??

    Wrong!!:D

    Friday prayers - the place will be dead quiet until Jumu'ah ends in about 5 minutes (starts at mid-day and depending on the sermon can go on for 90 minutes or more). Today is like Sunday!

    @investment is probably waiting for his boss outside the mosque and he can't tell us which mosque so the next one for him is an easy one.......

    your boss' family - Shi'a or Sunni?


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    #19
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    awww lads lets let investment be investment.

    he's much funnier when he thinks people are playing along.

    we all know he's a wum, probably something along the lines of that fat kid in the airsoft gear, but its more fun when we pretend to take him seriously.

    Anyway, no doubt manic will be along shortly so i'm IBTM

    (in before the move)


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    #20
    Morpheus
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 2,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Morpheus


    ok... humour me

    what equipment are you carrying when on close protection,

    are you armed, overtly or covertly?

    pistol or rifle or both?

    with what weapon if you ARE armed?

    what kind of holster,

    have you body armour,

    how many rounds are you carrying?

    have you done and defensive driving courses?

    what level of protection does the vehicle offer?

    what kind of vehicle is it?

    etc


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    #21
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Morphéus wrote: »
    ok... humour me

    what equipment are you carrying when on close protection,

    are you armed, overtly or covertly?

    pistol or rifle or both?

    with what weapon if you ARE armed?

    what kind of holster,

    have you body armour,

    how many rounds are you carrying?

    have you done and defensive driving courses?

    what level of protection does the vehicle offer?

    what kind of vehicle is it?

    etc

    What kind of nonsense questions are those :D - the only question that matters for close protection personnel is......

    .........Oakleys or Ray Bans

    @investment, I suggest you read this before posting further......

    51a5JLTg4EL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-52,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg


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    #22
    Harry Bosch.
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Harry Bosch.


    Lad's, i think i know who it is! Its Frank Framer from "The Bodyguard". Since Whitney Houston passed away this chap is obviously in demand!!


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    #23
    investment
    Registered Users Posts: 573 ✭✭✭investment


    Diary 2

    Ok I finished for the night its 10 to 10 and i'm ****ed the weather is warm and the days are long

    I think I should be clear on my role ...I drive for my boss and I offer close protection. I have the skills required for this course. I got this job through roger who has been in the business for over 10 years

    I get paid every month so I'm living on the money I brough over. Its no that expensive as I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free. I work 16 hour days and I get paid 60Dirhams an hour

    I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:


    I'm meeting up with roger sunday and we are going on a pussy patrol so hopefully I get some photos up next week


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    #24
    whydave
    Registered Users Posts: 4,061 ✭✭✭whydave


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00Kvyw7AEKU

    Watch your back man !!!! and remember to drink as much beer as you can that heat can be a killer !!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YADH-QSSaxk


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    #25
    twinytwo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,166 ✭✭✭twinytwo


    investment wrote: »
    Diary 2

    Ok I finished for the night its 10 to 10 and i'm ****ed the weather is warm and the days are long

    I think I should be clear on my role ...I drive for my boss and I offer close protection. I have the skills required for this course. I got this job through roger who has been in the business for over 10 years

    I get paid every month so I'm living on the money I brough over. Its no that expensive as I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free. I work 16 hour days and I get paid 60Dirhams an hour

    I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:


    I'm meeting up with roger sunday and we are going on a pussy patrol so hopefully I get some photos up next week

    :eek: you dont say.....


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    #26
    Sappa
    Registered Users Posts: 885 ✭✭✭Sappa


    investment wrote: »
    Diary 2

    Ok I finished for the night its 10 to 10 and i'm ****ed the weather is warm and the days are long

    I think I should be clear on my role ...I drive for my boss and I offer close protection. I have the skills required for this course. I got this job through roger who has been in the business for over 10 years

    I get paid every month so I'm living on the money I brough over. Its no that expensive as I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free. I work 16 hour days and I get paid 60Dirhams an hour

    I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:


    I'm meeting up with roger sunday and we are going on a pussy patrol so hopefully I get some photos up next week
    What balarney,I had a good laugh at least.
    investment having spent a few years in the middle east I can tell you that no police officer would dare to leave a sheik at the side of the road,also its next to impossible for them to be pulled over as they have a diplomatic number plate.
    How in the hell would you be hired without the proper papers,as I have a cousin in this industry I am going to cut this short as I know a bit abput the protocol of hiring for these roles,can you enlighten us to your military background or what qualifies you to protect the royals in Dubai.
    Would that be Roger Melly the man on the telly?


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    #27
    Tekken
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Tekken


    Right im a long time lurker here.

    60 Emirati Dirham is 13 Euro an hour...... Absolute spoof merchant.

    The girls on the checkout in dunnes are on nearly that....... but your getting 13 Euro an hour to do close protection for a sheikh thats a billionaire.
    Someone would want to tell blackwater (xe) that their paying to much!!!


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    #28
    RMD
    Registered Users Posts: 2,662 ✭✭✭RMD


    To people who are unaware of Investment's previous work he's either one of 2

    1) Mentally deluded and living in a fantasy realm
    2) Some kid taking the piss with ridiculous stories, spoofs and claims.

    Personally I think it could be 1. It's seem to have gone beyond the point of it being a pisstake at this stage.


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    #29
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    investment wrote: »
    .......so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road ........

    Chocolate or strawberry?


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    #30
    ChunkyLover_53
    Closed Accounts Posts: 901 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover_53


    OP said it was 10 to 10 yet you posted @ 1929hrs...2hr time difference to Dubai which means it should have been 2129hrs. Your watch is knackered.

    4 meals a day? 2nd breakfast? are you a Hobbit?

    Don't even know why I'm posting the guy is nuts, still good fun though.


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    #31
    Tekken
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Tekken


    I can't wait to hear what kind of crazy wild adventures they get upto


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