Fernando Torres

Neil3030 wrote: »

There's deluded, and there's LFC. Honest to christ... :rolleyes:

Chucky the tree wrote: »

His form only dropped when Hodgson was in charge, apart from that his goalscoring was excellent. In 09/10 for Rafas last season he score 18 goals in 22 league games. For Kenny he scored 3 goals in 4 league games.

Xavi6 wrote: »

It's Roy's fault, no other possible explanation.

He's also responsible for the recession, Hurricane Sandy and anything else that can be pinned on him.

Where was he when Lennon was shot?

Macca07 wrote: »

Because Hazard and Mata are only average at best...

kippy wrote: »

So nothing to do with injuries?

DaaaaaaaaaaN wrote: »

People are missing the main reason as to why his form has dropped so rapidly over the past two years, and its actually blindingly obvious. Its simply because he cut his hair. Back when he had glorious long blonde hair he was banging them in for the pool left right and center, and was arguably the best striker in the league. Then, for some crazy reason, in mid 2010 he decided to cut his hair considerably shorter. Almost immediately his form went into decline, spiraling downward to the point of no return.

While some argue that this is pure coincidence, one only has to look at the statistics to see the clear correlation. Based on various newspaper articles online, Torres defaced his hair in late May 2010, essentially at the end of the 2009-10 season. Up until that point, Torres had a remarkable scoring record, bagging 24 goals in 33 league games in the 2007-08 during his debut season, 14 goals in 24 league games in his second season, and a further 18 goals in 22 games in the 2009-10 season. This gave him an impressive pre-haircut premier league goal-to-game ratio of 1.4 (79/56).

Almost immediately after this, the goals began to dry up as did his confidence. In the season following the onslaught of his hair, which I will now refer to as 'the incident', he only managed a mere 9 goals in 23 league games which, while still a respectable tally, really didn't live up to the high standards set over his previous three seasons. Add to that his poor performance for Spain at the 2010 World Cup, some early alarm bells were beginning to ring. Unfortunately for Chelsea, they did not hear these bells and signed him in January 2011 for an insane amount of money, enough for him to get all the haircuts and hair extensions in the world. It wasn't enough however for him to regain his confidence and form, as things quickly went from bad to worse. During his first half season with Chelsea he struggled to find the net scoring only once in 14 premier league games, which I believe is solely attributable to him still mourning over the loss of his once magnificent long golden locks. By the end of the 2011-12 season, he scored a pathetic 7 goals in 46 league appearances. While things have improved very very slightly this season, with 4 goals in 10 league games, he is undoubtedly still a shadow of his former self. This is clearly highlighted by his post-haircut premier league goal-to-game ratio, which increased dramatically from the impressive pre-haircut ratio 1.4 to a painful 5.1 (56/11). I just want to highlight the severity of these figures in simpler terms, this means that he now only scores a goal every 5 games since 'the incident' as opposed a goal every 1.4 games which he enjoyed during his glory years. Coincidence? I think not.

So there you have it, I hope you will all now agree that it wasn't his deep love of Liverpool nor the weight of a ridiculously high transfer fee on his shoulders that lead to his steady deterioration in form, it was simply due to the catastrophic mistake of cutting his hair, the source of all his power and skill.

GavRedKing wrote: »

Time for Roman to fork out for some extensions and a bottle of hair dye so and not €50 million on Falcao.

Sorted.