Loosing interest in me?

Pyjamarama · 11-01-2008 03:24PM

phi3 wrote: »

Thanks Pyjamarama. It is very hard not knowing what hes thinking. Hes like that with alot of things. He keeps his feelings to himself. We both have out own problems that are making things difficult. Things that would make any relationship difficult. So thats a major issue as far as im concerned. we need to sort out our individual problems before we work on our problems as a couple.

You're definately right here, you need to deal with your own stuff first. Thinking about it that way then I guess I understand him not being sure of his feelings when he is dealing with a lot of other personal problems. If you can support each other through these then hopefully things will get better for you as a couple. I'd say I'm probably the one who finds it harder to talk about things in my relationship sometimes (I found an emotionally open Irish man, who knew they existed?!).

RubyXI · 23-01-2008 01:06PM

hey, sorry for dragging up an old subject but im confused again. One day everything is perfect and i feel like i want to be with him forever and the next it just seems all wrong n that we've no interest at all. Just dont know.

Reku · 23-01-2008 02:27PM

Unfortunately it's the way most of us lads are, we can seem rather distant and uninterested when it's simply that we've other things on our mind and don't want to talk about them. It's like the he said-she said e-mail forward. Maybe you could suggest a fun night out to get his mind off it and back on to why he thinks you're special?
Hope things do improve for you.

MayMay · 23-01-2008 09:56PM

phi3 wrote: »

hey, sorry for dragging up an old subject but im confused again. One day everything is perfect and i feel like i want to be with him forever and the next it just seems all wrong n that we've no interest at all. Just dont know.

I was in a relationship like that....in the end i just got sick of it and we broke up...was so great at the start but i think he just wasn't all that in to me as time went on. not an easy pill to swallow but glad we broke up when we did instead of me clinging on to any false hope. It was constantly up and down, it was a horrible place to be in, one minute you're happy and the next you're really low....either work things out properly with him or let him go...you'll be better for it in the long run. Good luck.

misslt · 23-01-2008 10:49PM

phi3, I think the fact you have to question it not once but twice (and god knows how many times in your head) answers your question. If your gut instinct tells you somethings not right, chances are you are right.

I think you should have a long hard think about what you want, and also about what you need - no girl needs a relationship with a guy she feels isnt interested in her. I know it hurts, but you need to look after yourself and do whats right for you...good luck x

MayMay · 23-01-2008 11:35PM

misslt wrote: »

phi3, I think the fact you have to question it not once but twice (and god knows how many times in your head) answers your question. If your gut instinct tells you somethings not right, chances are you are right.

I think you should have a long hard think about what you want, and also about what you need - no girl needs a relationship with a guy she feels isnt interested in her. I know it hurts, but you need to look after yourself and do whats right for you...good luck x

Exactly...it hurts like hell but being with someone that you "hope" will change their mind isn't healthy....I've been there, it hurt like hell and it hurt for a long time after but I'm glad we broke up now, he was a good guy but just not as in to me as I was with him and that's not a happy place to be. Best of luck with it, I hope things work out well for you either way.

RubyXI · 23-01-2008 11:50PM

i dont think id ever be happy with anyone so i gess if he's willing to stay with me, then id be crazy to throw that away. Its basically weighing up whether i can cope with this pain of not knowing how he feels. and being alone forever. I gess i'll just leave it up to him. If he ever risks making a decision

jellie · 24-01-2008 12:46AM

can i ask what age you are?

relationships should not be a case of settling. yes every relationship has their ups and downs but if you are not happy then why stay? going back to being single after a long term relationship is tough, but people do it all the time, it takes time, but you get over it & get happy again. You sound like you are not happy. (the word happy seems to be in there a lot)

you deserve to be loved. as does your bf. would you want him to stay with you out of pity or fear of being alone? i would apalled & hurt if that was the only reason somebody was with me. i want someone who loves me.

kins1979 · 24-01-2008 12:55AM

I don't think you have anything to worry about. It doesn't mean he's not interested, it just means that he's comfortable enough around you to be himself. That's not to say that he's doing the right thing. Look girl, he obviously loves you, don't make the mistake of over analysing everything in the relationship, men are simple enough, if they're not interested they'll let you know less subtly

Chin up x

RubyXI · 24-01-2008 10:11AM

^^^
I'm 23.
No i'm not happy, but thats not only because of the relationship.
I do worry that i may be over analysing. I do worry a bit much sometimes.

Ginny · 24-01-2008 10:35AM

23?
You're fine you've loads of time to find someone better, take it from someone who has just got out of her second long term thing, both of them eventually ended up like yours, and I'm 29. yes I'm ****e scared, and have awful days where i imagine him ringing and telling me he's found someone to settle down with etc... but you have to get out.
Living on a relationship really does affect you and you probably won't notice how much it has until you're out of it.

As for the over analysing, I do that too, but then you have to realise if you're thinking about something there must be something to think about, it's not you, you're not neurotic, there is a problem. A relationship that has you on tenderhook is not good, and a relationship that has you hoping instead of living is not good.

Loosing interest in me?

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