Things you've found about the ageing process

Dudess · 16-03-2011 12:45am

bangra bangra wrote: »

I'm 39, when I was around 30 a good friend said to me "You know you won't get away with long hair for much longer"

I never understand such sentiment as that held by your friend - what is there to "get away" with? Yeah, I had hair down to my waist up to a few months ago - chopped a lot off because it was annoying me the way there was hair everywhere (my hair is quite fine in texture so it's breaky) and damn, do I miss it. It totally suited me and I loved it - growing it again! :pac:

Aishae · 16-03-2011 1:11am

Dudess wrote: »

I never understand such sentiment as that held by your friend - what is there to "get away" with? Yeah, I had hair down to my waist up to a few months ago - chopped a lot off because it was annoying me the way there was hair everywhere (my hair is quite fine in texture so it's breaky) and damn, do I miss it. It totally suited me and I loved it - growing it again! :pac:

i think this is just based on the way shot hair makes a lot of people look more youthful - i say a lot but not all. we all suit different hairstyles anyway. so its a bit of a generalization to say long hair + older = no.
i had long hair till i was 21. i looked like SUCH a dork with long hair. and i looked about 14.

long hair gives plenty of women a nice frame for the face that makes them look older so its a silly generalization i agree. theres no absolute hair standard

Dudess · 16-03-2011 1:57am

Yeah, shorter hair does look better on some women, but I get the impression those who see long hair on a woman past the age of, say, 35 as "inappropriate" reckon they're now at the age where they should have a "grand, sensible" short hair-cut. :pac:

Acoshla · 16-03-2011 10:34am

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah, shorter hair does look better on some women, but I get the impression those who see long hair on a woman past the age of, say, 35 as "inappropriate" reckon they're now at the age where they should have a "grand, sensible" short hair-cut. :pac:

Otherwise known as the dreaded married hair!

CathyMoran · 16-03-2011 10:51am

I understand the shorter hair thing from a point of view that young children do tend to grab your hair a lot but you can always put it back. I may be married but I still want to look after myself and long hair suits me. Oh, I will be 37 in less than a week!

mood · 16-03-2011 11:01am

I think short age can age women. I know women who had long shoulder length hair and cut it short when they get to about 40 and suddenly they look middle aged! I don't think I'll ever cut my hair short.

Maple · 16-03-2011 12:23pm

I'm not cutting my hair because some wally tells me it doesn't suit me as a result of my age. What a load of waffle.

I have a fear of the Catholic Irish Mammy hair, as portrayed here by Brenda Fricker in My Left Foot. Gak-tastic.

Aishae · 16-03-2011 7:20pm

ah no! i want a more gok-esque highstreet haircut :pac:
i get away with short hair as according to mam i have a slavic look. mind you, most people find it hard to believe im irish unless im having a pint :pac:

back on topic - im 27 today - and i chose a dress to wear to town that is loose fitting but as gok would say 'makes your bangers look lovely' - lol.
i noticed a wrinkle on my under eye last night but i only noticed cos i was fishing for a stray eyelash. it was a 'well hello there, hows yourself?' kind of moment. i treat winkles like i do scars: they all tell stories.

Poor Craythur · 16-03-2011 7:32pm

Aishae wrote: »

back on topic - im 27 today

I'm 27 tomorrow!

Ickle Magoo · 16-03-2011 8:39pm

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah, shorter hair does look better on some women, but I get the impression those who see long hair on a woman past the age of, say, 35 as "inappropriate" reckon they're now at the age where they should have a "grand, sensible" short hair-cut. :pac:

I sometime wear my hair in plaits and I get comments about that - I just do it to keep my hair out my eyes and out of the paint or food or whatever I'm doing but that together with blue nail varnish or the like seems to be barred for the over 30's...

Spadina wrote: »

Otherwise known as the dreaded married hair!

Oi! I'm married & I have long hair - not a blue rinse in sight!

:pac:

The Sweeper · 17-03-2011 6:58am

Things I've found out about the aging process:

I like myself now at 34 a lot more than I did when I was 24.
I was better looking at 24 than I am now at 34 but didn't know what to do with myself.
Younger men (age group 20-25) tend to treat me with the sort of deference I would normally associate with someone else's mum, which can throw me a bit.
A lot of other adults don't take me seriously because I don't have children.
Now that I have the money to buy the clothes I always wanted they're no longer age-appropriate.
Now that I have the money to buy the shoes I always wanted I have nowhere to go in them because I'd rather be in cooking a nice meal for friends on a Saturday night than out in the city in my swish heels.
Now that I have the money to buy the car I always wanted, I'd rather stick with my 4x4.
Younger people ask me for advice and seriously they really shouldn't.
I find myself looking at both gorgeous but clueless 20 year olds, and 44 year old cougars, with a similar mix of suspicion and pity.
When I'm out for an evening and men go around me rather than come up to me, I try to persuade myself it's because I'm wise to their bullshit now, but think it's probably because I'm by far not the hottest thing in the place any more, by about 15 years.
Be prepared for the day you look in the mirror and think '??? Who the fuck is THAT???', and I'm not talking about you looking at the chick behind you.
You are never, ever going to look like you did when you were 21 again. Let it go. Move on. Make the best with what you have.
Now's the time to invest in good moisturiser. When Kylie said she uses Ponds - she was lying.
Hair long or hair short it doesn't matter, as long as you have good hair. Don't cling to a style from your early twenties if your hair is crap. And forget the mirror - find photos of yourself. Whether or not you're photogenic, yes, you do look like that, really.
I'm only in my 30s so it's all ahead of me.

SheRa · 18-03-2011 12:41am

Ive become a complete lightweight when it comes to alcohol.

iguana · 18-03-2011 1:15am

maple wrote: »

I have a fear of the Catholic Irish Mammy hair, as portrayed here by Brenda Fricker in My Left Foot. Gak-tastic.[/IMG]

I know! It's a hair style that says "I have given up on being in anyway attractive ever again." I moved back to Ireland last year and I was taken aback by the amount of women as young as their late 50s with that hair. They were often well dressed and made-up but with that hairstyle they just looked utterly sexless.

My nana is 80 and wears her hair in a girly-bob. It makes her look like someone who is still out to have as much fun as possible in her life.

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I sometime wear my hair in plaits and I get comments about that - I just do it to keep my hair out my eyes and out of the paint or food or whatever I'm doing but that together with blue nail varnish or the like seems to be barred for the over 30's...

I had my hair bobbed last summer (I need to as the result of a really awful haircut in April) and tied it up in pigtails a lot. On a visit home I asked my mother if it was a bit much for someone my age and she told me that if it was she was in big trouble as she often wears her hair like that.

magneticimpulse · 18-03-2011 2:49am

Aishae wrote: »

ah no! i want a more gok-esque highstreet haircut :pac:
i get away with short hair as according to mam i have a slavic look. mind you, most people find it hard to believe im irish unless im having a pint :pac:

back on topic - im 27 today - and i chose a dress to wear to town that is loose fitting but as gok would say 'makes your bangers look lovely' - lol.
i noticed a wrinkle on my under eye last night but i only noticed cos i was fishing for a stray eyelash. it was a 'well hello there, hows yourself?' kind of moment. i treat winkles like i do scars: they all tell stories.

at 27 there is no onset of ageing...sure what are you talking about haha. wrinkles at 27?

The Sweeper wrote: »

Things I've found out about the aging process:
I like myself now at 34 a lot more than I did when I was 24.

I was better looking at 24 than I am now at 34 but didn't know what to do with myself.

Younger men (age group 20-25) tend to treat me with the sort of deference I would normally associate with someone else's mum, which can throw me a bit.

A lot of other adults don't take me seriously because I don't have children.

Now that I have the money to buy the clothes I always wanted they're no longer age-appropriate.

Now that I have the money to buy the shoes I always wanted I have nowhere to go in them because I'd rather be in cooking a nice meal for friends on a Saturday night than out in the city in my swish heels.

Now that I have the money to buy the car I always wanted, I'd rather stick with my 4x4.

Younger people ask me for advice and seriously they really shouldn't.

I find myself looking at both gorgeous but clueless 20 year olds, and 44 year old cougars, with a similar mix of suspicion and pity.

When I'm out for an evening and men go around me rather than come up to me, I try to persuade myself it's because I'm wise to their bullshit now, but think it's probably because I'm by far not the hottest thing in the place any more, by about 15 years.

Be prepared for the day you look in the mirror and think '??? Who the fuck is THAT???', and I'm not talking about you looking at the chick behind you.

You are never, ever going to look like you did when you were 21 again. Let it go. Move on. Make the best with what you have.

Now's the time to invest in good moisturiser. When Kylie said she uses Ponds - she was lying.

Hair long or hair short it doesn't matter, as long as you have good hair. Don't cling to a style from your early twenties if your hair is crap. And forget the mirror - find photos of yourself. Whether or not you're photogenic, yes, you do look like that, really.

I'm only in my 30s so it's all ahead of me.

are you sure your not 44? Hey your only 4 years older then me, but I cannot relate to any of this. Im still in New Look buying the highest heals then ever before. I look far more fantastic then i did when I was 24 and i definitely know what make up and clothes suit me best compared to back then. I am totally smoking. I cannot say I am missing anything from my early 20's....its all happening now.

The Sweeper · 18-03-2011 5:09am

magneticimpulse wrote: »

at 27 there is no onset of ageing...sure what are you talking about haha. wrinkles at 27?

are you sure your not 44? Hey your only 4 years older then me, but I cannot relate to any of this. Im still in New Look buying the highest heals then ever before. I look far more fantastic then i did when I was 24 and i definitely know what make up and clothes suit me best compared to back then. I am totally smoking. I cannot say I am missing anything from my early 20's....its all happening now.

Wow - all that and your most obviously attractive trait is your humility. :pac:

Acoshla · 18-03-2011 10:37am

iguana wrote: »

I know! It's a hair style that says "I have given up on being in anyway attractive ever again." I moved back to Ireland last year and I was taken aback by the amount of women as young as their late 50s with that hair. They were often well dressed and made-up but with that hairstyle they just looked utterly sexless.

My nana is 80 and wears her hair in a girly-bob. It makes her look like someone who is still out to have as much fun as possible in her life.

I had my hair bobbed last summer (I need to as the result of a really awful haircut in April) and tied it up in pigtails a lot. On a visit home I asked my mother if it was a bit much for someone my age and she told me that if it was she was in big trouble as she often wears her hair like that.

Yeah the Irish Mammy married hair thing really irritates me. The most HILARIOUS thing I have ever seen is a thread on a wedding forum, called (wait for it) The Post Wedding Haircut. Pages of women saying that they have their hair lovely and long now for the wedding and will all cut it into a very short bob after the wedding, wtf?? It's like easing themselves into the horrible hair. And I never understand the "short hair is easier with babies" thing. Surely it's easier to tie long hair back than have short hair falling in your face and being grabbed/puked on etc?

My Mom is nearly 52, her hair is straight, about 2 inches past her shoulders with a fringe, and the amount of times she points out people who were in her class in school to me, most of them in frumpy beige clothes and all their hair chopped off in no obvious style, she looks 10 years younger than them.

All I've found out about the ageing process so far are good things. I'm 26, so I'm around the age that I'm just really understanding my own style, what I'm good at, what I'm not, what I like to do, and what I don't want to do, even if my friends are doing it :rolleyes: Realising who my real friends are, and what's important in life to me. I feel completely different to how I did at 21/22 (I was an idiot then :P)

I don't drink a lot and have never smoked so I have nice skin, the chipmunk cheeks I had as a teenager are really paying off now because I appear to have fuller cheeks than a most! My long hair makes me look pretty young too so so far it's all good

Aishae · 18-03-2011 3:22pm

no matter what age you are - once youre no longer 18 you might notice that youre getting older. sure we all age at different rates etc. a cousin of my mums had a thick grey streak from her temple at the age of 21. it was really attractive though. you might notice laughter lines that look more like wrinkles or a single wrinkle. if your mum or dad has deep eye sockets and you do too then you might take on their deep eye socket wrinkles younger (genetics eh) - technically once youre born youre ageing - i suppose growing boobs is a sign of ageing in a sense :pac:

Malari · 18-03-2011 3:32pm

Aishae wrote: »

no matter what age you are - once youre no longer 18 you might notice that youre getting older. sure we all age at different rates etc. a cousin of my mums had a thick grey streak from her temple at the age of 21. it was really attractive though. you might notice laughter lines that look more like wrinkles or a single wrinkle. if your mum or dad has deep eye sockets and you do too then you might take on their deep eye socket wrinkles younger (genetics eh) - technically once youre born youre ageing - i suppose growing boobs is a sign of ageing in a sense :pac:

:eek: Rogue!! Does she always wear gloves?

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Dudess · 18-03-2011 6:59pm

There definitely does seem to be some people who do stuff because "that's the thing you're supposed to do at this age", the mammy hair-cut being one of them. Wtf?

iguana wrote: »

I know! It's a hair style that says "I have given up on being in anyway attractive ever again." I moved back to Ireland last year and I was taken aback by the amount of women as young as their late 50s with that hair

Oh there are women around who are much younger with that hair - totally bizarre. Why would you punish yourself for your age when there are enough others doing it? Worse again, the self punishment helps to perpetuate the societal one. Certain stuff is age-dictated and that's just the way it goes - physical changes obviously. But while there's only so much you can do about that and you have to accept much of it too, why would you inflict limits on yourself that otherwise don't exist?

magneticimpulse wrote: »

at 27 there is no onset of ageing...sure what are you talking about haha. wrinkles at 27?

I've seen women younger than 27 who have wrinkles - it's down to lifestyle but even moreso, genes. One thing I've definitely learned about the ageing process is: it happens at varying stages and at varying rates, and some stuff that you're told will happen to you... won't. Or at least will happen at a different time to the time you're told it will. There are general trends, yes, but I would say to younger readers: don't pay attention to people who say "Oh this will happen, that will happen". Everyone's experience, while having similarities, has differences too.
I would be the same as magneticimpulse in that I think I'm better-looking now (at nearly 33) than when I was a teenager. I looked so pale and gaunt back then - really stern-looking (unintentionally - don't know wtf that was about), very... Bronte-esque, like Jane Eyre. :pac:

Eve_Dublin · 18-03-2011 10:38pm

I'm 30 and I've noticed a few things...

- A few lines on my face.
- Can't handle alcohol anymore.
- Less concerned whether people like me or not.
- More interested in current affairs.
- I was told by a gay male friend that I'm more attractive now than I was in my mid twenties because I give off an air that I'm more comfortable in my own skin.
- I'm broody as hell.
- Most of the people I know here in Spain are in their 30s and early 40s and I'm having better quality conversation than I did in my 20s...
- I have people telling me I don't look 30, which drives me a crazy...I know it's supposed to be a compliment but what do they think 30 looks like? This IS what 30 looks like, buddy!
- I have men in their 40s cracking on to me much more often.
- I'm more serious than I was in my 20s...but probably not serious enough about some things still.
- Less idealistic...realise that there's people out there who are simply bad people and there's no way to change them.
- I'm not as moody...my moods are much more consistant.
- I only coped on in the past 2 years how short life is...I don't feel immortal anymore like I did in my late teens/early twenties...this is terrifying and thrilling in equal measures.
- I suddenly have the urge to grow my hair long (I've had it just below my chin for about 4 years now)....not sure if it's a crisis of getting older.
- I don't give a damn about being single whereas it was an issue when I was single in the past.
- I'm not as sorted mentally as I thought I'd be. I still too hard on myself and beat myself up over stuff that just makes me human...it's definitely lessened though.
- I still find it very hard to let my guard down with men I like. Thought I'd have that sorted by now.
- I miss my mother more in the past 2 years than when I did when she died when I was 10. I could really use some motherly advice and love at the moment.

Overall though, I'm consistantly happier now than I've ever been but I've still a lot of work to do on myself.

Poor Craythur · 18-03-2011 11:02pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

- I only coped on in the past 2 years how short life is...I don't feel immortal anymore like I did in my late teens/early twenties...this is terrifying and thrilling in equal measures.

I like this. It's so true and I'm just realising it at 27. You really do feel immortal in your teens and early twenties, don't you? :pac:

Eve_Dublin · 18-03-2011 11:07pm

Poor Craythur wrote: »

I like this. It's so true and I'm just realising it at 27. You really do feel immortal in your teens and early twenties, don't you? :pac:

You sure do. I suppose it hits everyone at some stage and I think it's a good thing.

Still doesn't stop me wasting a hell of a lot of time procrastinating though. I need to sort that out!

Poor Craythur · 18-03-2011 11:08pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Still doesn't stop me wasting a hell of a lot of time procrastinating though. I need to sort that out!

Me too. :eek:

pragmatic1 · 19-03-2011 6:37pm

maple wrote: »

You may not mean it but you're coming across as sleazy.

Please dial it back a little.

Maple

I'd love to know how I was being sleazy by saying that women over a certain age shouldnt be ashamed of their bodies. Maybe you're being a bit prudish.

Ickle Magoo · 19-03-2011 6:52pm

Pragmatic1, this forum is primarily for female posters to discuss issues from a female perspective; while you may disagree that interjecting to suggest good looking women should wear less clothing is not sleazy, it is more in keeping with the gentleman's club or after hours than being appropriate for this forum.

As per the forum charter, if you have an issue with a moderator or moderators instruction then PM them rather than arguing on thread or dragging a thread off-topic.

Many thanks.

Poor Craythur · 19-03-2011 7:08pm

My friend who is about to turn 25 has quite a lined face. She has a very healthy lifestyle overall. What impressed me was her accepting attitude. She was just like "Oh yeah, I'm going to get loads of wrinkles, my mother has a very lined face and I take after her. Meh" Not a bother on her.

But she is very beautiful with a great bone structure, so I think that having a lined face isn't as a big a deal for someone with a strong face like her.

miec · 19-03-2011 8:20pm

I was told by a gay male friend that I'm more attractive now than I was in my mid twenties because I give off an air that I'm more comfortable in my own skin.

The air of confidence is in my opinion what makes a woman or man attractive and it is ageless. However, it is rare for a younger person to feel that way. I have found that as I get older I am more accepting of myself. Someone cited Demi Moore as a good example of an older woman looking good, but as others mentioned she has had in the region of €100,000 worth of plastic surgery, personal trainers, dieticians, etc, there was an article (prior to the Charlie's angels film she was in) stating how much she forked out to look good. I don't think she is a good example, she needs outside assistance to look that good. Although I agree she is naturally beautiful.

However, I think of Helen Mirren, Judi Dench or Honor Blackman as women who naturally age, look fantastic but also carry that inner confidence, or at least it seems that way.

I find that most of the time, I accept myself as I am now, it is incredibly liberating. I actually like my body, I can see now I have a lovely shape, it is not a swelvte size 10 but then I am a broad woman, always have been, I am the same size now as when I was eighteen, and I like how I look. I accept that I have nice features. I spent most of my life feeling ugly and I have learned I was wrong. I believe it is all down to how we perceive ourselves and that is one of the beauties of ageing, a higher degree of acceptance / awareness.

Poor Craythur · 27-03-2011 2:38am

I'm finding more and more grey hairs. Thing is, it's not the greyness that bothers me, it's that grey hair has a different texture. It's much more coarse, almost pube-like. I like the texture of my hair and am sad about losing that.

iguana · 27-03-2011 2:45am

Poor Craythur wrote: »

I'm finding more and more grey hairs. Thing is, it's not the greyness that bothers me, it's that grey hair has a different texture. It's much more coarse, almost pube-like. I like the texture of my hair and am sad about losing that.

My mother said that her initial grey hairs were all wirey and tough but once more of her hair went grey the texture went back to normal.

Poor Craythur · 27-03-2011 2:46am

iguana wrote: »

My mother said that her initial grey hairs were all wirey and tough but once more of her hair went grey the texture went back to normal.

Hope that happens to me!

Things you've found about the ageing process

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