Favourite Simpsons Quote

lampsie · 09-11-2004 2:30pm

Homer (attempting to fly a hot air balloon): "I think I've figured this thing out.. you can go up and down, but not side-to-side, or back in time."

and..

Lisa: "I can see through time"

Canis Lupus · 09-11-2004 2:37pm

when they are taking auditions for the part of Monty Burns for the short movies:

Mexican guy in bee siut: excellentey!
Homer: exaaaactly..... DOH!!!

makes me laugh every time.

heggie · 09-11-2004 2:40pm

My sig

gimmick · 09-11-2004 2:49pm

"Badger? Baaadger my ass, its probably Milhouse".

The entire Klau Kalash scene is fantastic.

Roar · 09-11-2004 3:35pm

class one in the new episode on sunday, when homer framed marge for drink driving

"What I did, I did out of love!!! Love of not getting arrested..."

LegacyUser · 09-11-2004 3:37pm

homer: i wish god was alive today to see this.

Shazbot · 09-11-2004 3:50pm

bart talking to milhouse after getting caught in church changing th hymn.

Bart : there no suck thing as a soul, its just something parents made up to scare children, like the boogy man or michael jackson

Zulu · 09-11-2004 3:55pm

Homer - "butter up that bacon!"
Homer - "bacon up that butter!"
Bart - "...my heart hurts."

Sleepy · 09-11-2004 4:02pm

"Ahhh, sweet sweet beer, the cause of and solution to all life's problems"

Zulu, you don't deserve that avatar "Worst. Episode. Ever."

Astro1996 · 09-11-2004 4:16pm

Kent Brockman here, with Campaign '96: America Flips A Coin. At an appearance this morning, Bill Clinton made some rather cryptic remarks, which aides attributed to an overly tight necktie.

Kodos: I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. [crosses arms] End communication.

and

kodos :
My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but
tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward,
and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

blondie83 · 09-11-2004 4:17pm

From one of the sunday episodes:

Smithers - Sir maybe it would be possible to solve this without killing the little girl

Monty Burns - Don't be ridiculous Smithers, non violence never solved anything

There were a few good quotes in that episode but I can't think of them now.

Spalk0 · 09-11-2004 4:46pm

"i think i can work the Velocitator and the accelamatrix, hmmmmm!" - Mr Burns!

SoupyNorman · 09-11-2004 5:53pm

Zulu wrote:

Homer - "butter up that bacon!"
Homer - "bacon up that butter!"
Bart - "...my heart hurts."

Stupid Episode...

Micheal Wittman · 09-11-2004 6:11pm

Smithers:Sir, the townspeople see you as something of an ogar

Mr.Burns: (shudders) I augh'da crush them and eat their bones

spudster101 · 09-11-2004 6:24pm

Homer: No beer and no TV make homer something something.
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Dont mind if i do.

Skellington · 09-11-2004 6:42pm

(alarm goes off)
homer: ah, but i got up yesterday...

(bart running past window dressed as cheerleader)
principal skinner: oh no, looks like bart got into the pep closet.
homer: looks like barts coming out of the pep closet...

Sherifu · 09-11-2004 6:43pm

Marge, what's the number for 911

woosaysdan · 09-11-2004 7:03pm

marge: your work called the said that since you didnt go in yesterday dont bother going in monday!
homer: woohoo 5 day weekend

adjodlo · 09-11-2004 7:03pm

Sorry if its been said before but this one always cracked me up.

Look Marge, you don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else...

Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what's-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?

Piste · 09-11-2004 7:09pm

Ralph: Mrs Hoover? I ate my worm can Iv'e another one?

Mrs Hoover: No Ralph, there are no more worms. Now put your head on your desk and try to go asleep

Ralph: Oh Boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

Cracks me up every time

seamus · 09-11-2004 7:19pm

From the newer episodes (they're actually getting good):

Homer: I'm in no condition to drive. Wait, I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!

Homer: I'm gonna pull an all nighter for my daughter! MARGE! Go put on a pot of coffee! Drink it! And start making hamburgers!

golden gal · 09-11-2004 7:36pm

when the weight of the world has got you down and you wanna end your life.something something a dead end job and problems with the wife. well dont throw in the towel cuz theres a place right down block where you can drink your miseries away. at flaming moes. lets all go to flaming moes. where liquer in a mug can warm you like a hug , happiness is just a flaming mug away. Classic!!!!!

woosaysdan · 09-11-2004 7:42pm

golden gal wrote:

when the weight of the world has got you down and you wanna end your life.something something a dead end job and problems with the wife. well dont throw in the towel cuz theres a place right down block where you can drink your miseries away. at flaming moes. lets all go to flaming moes. where liquer in a mug can warm you like a hug , happiness is just a flaming mug away. Classic!!!!!

LOL excellent

smoke.me.a.kipper · 09-11-2004 7:52pm

"did ya hear that boy, the carnie code!"

Caesar_Bojangle · 09-11-2004 7:59pm

Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.

I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

Piste · 09-11-2004 8:22pm

Bart to Milhouse: 'Ewwwwwww you kissed a girl! That is soooooo Gay!'

[Stone flies through Mr. Burns' office window]
Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.

Principal Skinner: I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it.

Well the simpsons are on now so I'll be back with some more quotes.

Hello Kitty · 09-11-2004 8:33pm

To many to choose from:

Homer: "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

DRakE · 09-11-2004 9:03pm

Colonel Hap Hapablap: Did somoebody say.. boxkites?

Bart: No!

Martin: "The common boxkite was orignally used as a means of drying wet string"

cashback · 09-11-2004 9:09pm

Kent Brockman: Tonight, on Eyewitness News: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Man: Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?
Kent: No, uh, she won an Oscar, and he's a Congressman.
Man: Good night! [turns over and dies]

Sherifu · 09-11-2004 9:20pm

Joe Banks... 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery... the ducks... were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think, that joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man... and... his ducks...

cashback · 09-11-2004 9:33pm

another good one:

Homer: I learned this from a movie I saw about a bus that has to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED above 50, and if its SPEED drops, it would explode. I think it was called: "The Bus That Couldn't Stop."

Aava · 09-11-2004 10:36pm

"Suspect is driving a... car, of some sort."

PeadarofAodh · 09-11-2004 10:52pm

I Like-a to chew!!

I wonder how many times I've used this phrase randomly for the past year...

lazernuts · 09-11-2004 11:10pm

Bart: I'm going to get the dog back!
Homer: [off-camera, distant] The good dog or the bad dog?
Bart: The bad dog.
Homer: Ah good.

Hugh Hefner · 09-11-2004 11:17pm

"Bah! I deride your truth handeling abilities!!" - Sidshow Bob.

That quote has a lot of history with me.

Nasty_Girl · 09-11-2004 11:23pm

Booberella about Mr Burns when he took over the media
"His heart is as big as my BOOOOBS!"
Kent Brockman: "Well we'll have to agree to ...agree on this one then"
Booberella : ".....BOOOOOOOOBS!"

I thought it was funny
or this by kent brockman
"We're coming to you live and to prove we're live.. P*NIS!!"

Piste · 09-11-2004 11:25pm

Kent Brockman: And I for one welcome our new ant overlords and remind them that as a member of the media I would be an invalubale source for rounding up people to work in their underground sugar caves

Seraphina · 09-11-2004 11:38pm

the following tale of alien encounter is true
by which i mean, false.
they're all lies, but they're entertaining lies,
and isn't that, in the end, the real truth?
the answer, is no.

mayordenis · 09-11-2004 11:39pm

"i got it from my film with Rob Schnieder 'my baby's a fat ugly man" - wolfcastle

mp3guy · 09-11-2004 11:50pm

"Hey chief, can hold hold my gun sideways. it looks so cool!" - Cop (i forget his name)
"You can do whatever you want birthday boy" - Chief Wiggum

"Ok, here we are boys, 123 fake street" - Chief Wiggum

"No, you must have the wrong number, this is, 91...2" - Chief Wiggum

"Has my crate of pixie sticks come in yet?" - Dr. Hibbert
"No" - Apu
"DAMN IT!!! When they come in you call me at this number!" - Dr. Hibbert
"Hm, 911" - Apu

"Note to Marge, 'Get Out!'" - Motherloving sugar corp. Owner

Pigman II · 09-11-2004 11:59pm

They made me laugh anyway....

Homer: Oh, of _course_ you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.

[DJ 3000]: Those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns. [Bill]: [laughs] How does it keep up with the news like that?

Burns: It was I, you fools! The man you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy at all!

Homer: Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

Skinner: Once...but by the time I got to the phone, my discovery had already been reported by Principal Kahoutek... I got back at him, though...him and that little _boy_ of his.

Homer : Well, Chief, don't quit your day job... Whatever that is.

Troy: Right about now, you're probably saying, "Troy, I've seen _every_ `Simpsons' episode. You can't show me anything new." [menacing] Well, you got some attitude, Mister.

Homer: Hello? Why am I Mr. Sparkle?

Mr. Sparkle: Out of my way, all of you. This is no place for loafers! Join me or die! Can you do any less?

Homer: Baby On Board, Something something, Burt Ward...

Bart : 'I think I read somewhere that cows like being killed'

Homer : 'we like our cars fast and our banks closed'

homer : ‘lousy minor setbacks! This world sucks’

Seraphina · 10-11-2004 12:39am

ooh look at meeeeeee, im making people happy! im the magical man from happyland, in a gum drop house on lollipop laaaaaaaaaaane.
*slams door*
*reopens door*
in case you couldn't tell i was being sarcastic

Jivin Turkey · 10-11-2004 1:07am

Dont think this has been mentioned:

Chief to McGarnagle > "Your off the case McGarnagle."

McGarnagle > "No your off your case chief!"

Chief > "Whats that supposed to mean?"

Homer > "It means he gets results you stupid chief!!!"

meepmeep · 10-11-2004 12:56pm

Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Homer: Marge, what do you call that......metal deally......that you use to..............scoop?
Marge: A spoon, Homer

woosaysdan · 10-11-2004 1:24pm

i like my beer cold, my tv loud and my homosexuals flaming!!!

Zombienosh · 10-11-2004 1:26pm

<episode with the rocket>

Millhouse: Bart, I never knew your dad was so into science.

Homer: SCIENCE?!?!?!

Bart: He didn't say science , he said.... pie pants.

Homer: ummmmmm pie pants...*drool*

woosaysdan · 10-11-2004 1:39pm

marge: why dont you try and solve the who put mud in the freezer
bart: who's for chosolate ice-cream???
homer: ooh me me me me me

Morgoth · 10-11-2004 2:40pm

In the Proposition 24 ep.

Twirling newspaper: [headline] Police Prepare for Deportations [sub-headline] Bear Patrol Steps Up Bombing Campaign

Same episode:

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

lol :F

Oh oh, also:

Homer: Look, everyone: now that I'm a teacher, I've sewed patches on my elbows! [shows his elbow]
Marge: Homer, that's supposed to be _leather_ patches on a _tweed_ blazer, not that other way around! You've ruined a perfectly good jacket!
Homer: Ah -- incorrect, Marge. _Two_ perfectly good jackets.

Lisa: ... If you want to get Mom back, you just have to remember what you give her that nobody else can.
Homer: [pause] I'll pay you $40 if you think of it for me.
Lisa: No!
Homer: OK, thirty.

Shazbot · 10-11-2004 3:27pm

scence with charles branson on the tv

guy : hey chief wheres the prisioner

charles : i shot him and now im going down to emmets fix it to fix emmet.

McGarnagle : dammit Billy , you gotta testify.

Billy : but im scared

McGarnagle : we're all scared billy.

Billy : ok then.
a few mins later.....

chief : dammit McGaranagle , are you happy !? BILLYS DEAD ! slit his trout from ear to ear.

Mcgarnagle : hey , im tring to eat lunch here

bean · 10-11-2004 3:33pm

Homer: Apu im feeling a little down, give me some of that beer that has candy floating in it......you know......skittlebrau

Apu; Im sorry sir, there is no such beverage

Homer; [looking deflated] OK........just give me a six pack of beer and four packs of skittles

Favourite Simpsons Quote

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