W*nking husband

jockeyboard · 04-03-2012 2:45pm

The actress is actually gross when i think of it, not sure of her full name. Mellisa something...... But she used to be sabrina the teenage witch-euww. (makes mental note to get witch costume for some sex games)

Ostrom · 04-03-2012 2:46pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

The actress is actually gross when i think of it, not sure of her full name. Mellisa something...... But she used to be sabrina the teenage witch-euww. (makes mental note to get witch costume for some sex games)

At least he didn't say Calrissa.....

jockeyboard · 04-03-2012 2:48pm

efla wrote: »

At least he didn't say Calrissa.....

explain??

Ostrom · 04-03-2012 2:49pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

explain??

No need;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarissa_Explains_It_All

Gummy Panda · 04-03-2012 2:50pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

The actress is actually gross when i think of it, not sure of her full name. Mellisa something...... But she used to be sabrina the teenage witch-euww. (makes mental note to get witch costume for some sex games)

her?

Don't see anything wrong

Logical Fallacy · 04-03-2012 2:53pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

The actress is actually gross when i think of it, not sure of her full name. Mellisa something...... But she used to be sabrina the teenage witch-euww. (makes mental note to get witch costume for some sex games)

In fairness when i was younger I would have thought she was hot as well.

I think the reason to feel shame her is that you, as an adult, were watching a movie with her in it.:D

mikemac1 · 04-03-2012 2:53pm

Melissa Joan Hart

What's happened to her?

How did she go from this to this

Celly Smunt · 04-03-2012 2:53pm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

her?

Don't see anything wrong

wouldn't marry her in a million years.

Bitch has a realm in her closet.

jockeyboard · 04-03-2012 2:55pm

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

In fairness when i was younger I would have thought she was hot as well.

I think the reason to feel shame her is that you, as an adult, were watching a movie with her in it.:D

film was muck

LoanShark · 04-03-2012 2:57pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

Watching a film last night and hubbie tells me he had many a 'tug' over the actress in his younger years....
What things are better left unsaid/does your other half not need to know?

I white lie all the time about new clothes, i say they are old/bought on sale from pennys for two euro.

Share please

SO, You're watching a movie with his favorite actress in it. He tells you he used to fire one out over her.. I think he was just trying to get the ride from ya..

But You lie about clothes all the time and keep it as your 'little white lie'..

You should have given in and gave him the sex.. Therefore you would have done your penance for when he finds out about your shopping secrets...

lividduck · 04-03-2012 3:04pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

The actress is actually gross when i think of it, not sure of her full name. Mellisa something...... But she used to be sabrina the teenage witch-euww. (makes mental note to get witch costume for some sex games)

Or just get a bag for your head.
I really feel sorry for that poor wanker

SugarCoat · 04-03-2012 3:07pm

To play the devil's advocate here's a picture from last november where she looks stunning.
http://www.zimbio.com/photos/Melissa+Joan+Hart/Stars+LA+Premiere+Breaking+Dawn/Eho6yVj1uIN
She is 35 and a mum of two so you couldn't expect her to always look like a supermodel.

jockeyboard · 04-03-2012 3:08pm

lividduck wrote: »

Or just get a bag for your head.
I really feel sorry for that poor wanker

hi, do i know you?? You seem to know me and what i look like??

jockeyboard · 04-03-2012 3:09pm

SugarCoat wrote: »

To play the devil's advocate here's a picture from last november where she looks stunning.
http://www.zimbio.com/photos/Melissa+Joan+Hart/Stars+LA+Premiere+Breaking+Dawn/Eho6yVj1uIN
She is 35 and a mum of two so you couldn't expect her to always look like a supermodel.

she looks nice there!

Immaculate Pasta · 04-03-2012 3:11pm

I'm surprised you haven't already left him yet OP

flanders1979 · 04-03-2012 3:19pm

At least its women he is into.

CageWager · 04-03-2012 3:21pm

wandatowell wrote: »

Is that what your husband said when he wanked himself thinking about Sarah Jessica Parker???

Jesus he has god awful taste in women.

krudler wrote: »

I remember her when she was a pony

Stick with this till the very end...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zco0K5rdvw

booboo88 · 04-03-2012 3:23pm

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

They didn't take it too far, there's no such thing. They're just not funny.

shhhhhh
yes they just werent funny

Anyone · 04-03-2012 3:27pm

Good job he didnt tell you he wipes it in the curtains when he is done.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 04-03-2012 3:32pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

film was muck

Sounds like he was fairly mucky afterwards.

TheZohanS · 04-03-2012 3:33pm

Best thread in AH in a long time...

minidazzler · 04-03-2012 3:34pm

TheZohan wrote: »

Best thread in AH in a long time...

I agree, it's the first real AH thread in ages. It's no Feeky, but it's good.

44leto · 04-03-2012 3:40pm

OP he is probably think about that actress when yous are at your most intimate.

Raekwon · 04-03-2012 3:42pm

TheZohan wrote: »

Best thread in AH in a long time...

+1 for this thread

-1 for the participation of Dudess

= 0 Meh

thecornflake · 04-03-2012 4:07pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

hi, do i know you?? You seem to know me and what i look like??

Probably your husband tbh.

Dolbert · 04-03-2012 4:27pm

ChunkyLover_53 wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Lansbury

I'll just leave this here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXqreCgWYuA

Kohl · 04-03-2012 4:37pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

I never said i begrudge him his ****, i dont want to know it though!

And he is a wanker.

I am not a liar, i select what is necessary for him to know.

You sound like an idiot.

Peetrik · 04-03-2012 4:41pm

Have you considered that your issue is that his honesty is making you feel guilty about your lying?

If your in a healthy physical relationship then him mentioning that he had the odd tug in the past is hardly the real issue...

I'v seen at least 4 episodes of Dr Phil, I know what I'm talking about.

alphabeat · 04-03-2012 4:41pm

Dolorous wrote: »

I'll just leave this here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXqreCgWYuA

** PUKES ***

alphabeat · 04-03-2012 4:43pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

Watching a film last night and hubbie tells me he had many a 'tug' over the actress in his younger years....

at least he knows how to please a man

senorwipesalot · 04-03-2012 5:11pm

Dolorous wrote: »

I'll just leave this here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXqreCgWYuA

Worst four minutes of my life.

Johro · 04-03-2012 6:16pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

Watching a film last night and hubbie tells me he had many a 'tug' over the actress in his younger years....
What things are better left unsaid/does your other half not need to know?

I white lie all the time about new clothes, i say they are old/bought on sale from pennys for two euro.

Share please

Which actress?
It's important..

lau1247 · 04-03-2012 6:20pm

Johro wrote: »

Which actress?
It's important..

read the post again, it's only few page back.. it's a TLDR moment is it?

Johro · 04-03-2012 6:21pm

C'mon now I got a tenner on it..

TheZohanS · 04-03-2012 6:24pm

Johro wrote: »

C'mon now I got a tenner on it..

Saoirse Ronan.

Johro · 04-03-2012 6:24pm

lau1247 wrote: »

read the post again, it's only few page back.. it's a TLDR moment is it?

Okay okay... Point out my deficiencies why don't ya...

And that's a tenner down the drain..
Life stinks.

lau1247 · 04-03-2012 6:24pm

tricky D wrote: »

Blindness might have had something to do with the choice.

you know what they say, too much masturbation can make one go blind

Johro · 04-03-2012 6:26pm

lau1247 wrote: »

read the post again, it's only few page back.. it's a TLDR moment is it?

Angela Lansbury???? :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Ellis Dee · 04-03-2012 6:27pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

Watching a film last night and hubbie tells me he had many a 'tug' over the actress in his younger years....
---

Tug? He obviously hasn't yet discovered the pleasure of good stroking.:):)

Johro · 04-03-2012 6:32pm

Sabrina the teenage witch huh? Divorce beckons.

Johro · 04-03-2012 6:35pm

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Tug? He obviously hasn't yet discovered the pleasure of good stroking.:):)

Yeah he's defo doing it wrong.

roper1664 · 04-03-2012 6:35pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

Watching a film last night and hubbie tells me he had many a 'tug' over the actress in his younger years....
What things are better left unsaid/does your other half not need to know?

Share please

Look on the bright side. At least he didn't tent up and risk a sly one there and then.

AskMyChocolate · 04-03-2012 6:45pm

Dudess wrote: »

Interesting. She just said she doesn't want to hear about his **** episodes. Now I wouldn't share her view, but she didn't say she tells him not to ****, however, never let the truth get in the way of a nasty swipe.

Quite the turn of phrase given the subject matter of the thread.

mikom · 04-03-2012 7:25pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

Watching a film last night and hubbie tells me he had many a 'tug' over the actress in his younger years....
What things are better left unsaid/does your other half not need to know?

I white lie all the time about new clothes, i say they are old/bought on sale from pennys for two euro.

Share please

You're really gonna flip when he reveals to you that he uses those new clothes as a **** rag.
But shur they were only bought on sale in pennys for two euro.

admiralofthefleet · 04-03-2012 7:31pm

op, would you mind if your husband told you a little white lie about accidently dropping his cock into your sisters mary?

jockeyboard · 04-03-2012 8:19pm

seriously what would happen if we were all completly unecessaryily (is that a word-spelt wrong) honest with other half.....

her-how was your day dear?

him-fantastic.... i looked down the young girl in works top when she bent over and thought she had a great pair of tits, told some rude jokes about the 'ball and chain' in the pub after work. your mam rang and asked me to call in to hang up a picture, she really wrecks my head most of the time, i am polite only to keep the peace.
oh and when you asked me did i like your new haircut, i actually hadnt even noticed.

her-thats lovely dear, sounds great. i am secretly back smoking during the day when you are not around but because your dad died of cancer i keep it a secret as dont want to upset you. your bald patch is getting much more then a patch these days and that beer belly you have makes you look nine months pregnant.

him-fancy a ride later?

her-actually i am all flicked out after watching midget porn all afternoon.

Eric Cartman · 04-03-2012 8:27pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

seriously what would happen if we were all completly unecessaryily (is that a word-spelt wrong) honest with other half.....

her-how was your day dear?

him-fantastic.... i looked down the young girl in works top when she bent over and thought she had a great pair of tits, told some rude jokes about the 'ball and chain' in the pub after work. your mam rang and asked me to call in to hang up a picture, she really wrecks my head most of the time, i am polite only to keep the peace.
oh and when you asked me did i like your new haircut, i actually hadnt even noticed.

her-thats lovely dear, sounds great. i am secretly back smoking during the day when you are not around but because your dad died of cancer i keep it a secret as dont want to upset you. your bald patch is getting much more then a patch these days and that beer belly you have makes you look nine months pregnant.

him-fancy a ride later?

her-actually i am all flicked out after watching midget porn all afternoon.

would be better than all the pent up anger and answering with 'im fine' 'im too tired'

jockeyboard · 04-03-2012 8:31pm

Eric Cartman wrote: »

would be better than all the pent up anger and answering with 'im fine' 'im too tired'

dint say anything about pent up anger etc, just some things are better left unsaid.....:pac:

Eric Cartman · 04-03-2012 8:36pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

dint say anything about pent up anger etc, just some things are better left unsaid.....:pac:

true , but in your case the 'things left unsaid' are costing money , which is a big issue in any marriage, let alone during a recession.

Poor Uncle Tom · 04-03-2012 8:36pm

jockeyboard wrote: »

Watching a film last night and hubbie tells me he had many a 'tug' over the actress in his younger years...

Dress up like yer wan and do the tuggin' for him.....;)

You can always buy a pair of shoes to make up for it.....:p

W*nking husband

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