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Proposing to girlfriend ideas

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    #32
    Effects
    Registered Users Posts: 9,761 ✭✭✭Effects


    hairyprincess wrote: »
    I would also consider asking her Mum or Dad for her hand in marriage, if your girlfriend is traditional and has a good relationship with her parents.

    This is the 21st Century. She is not a commodity. Her parents do not need to be asked for permission. Do you also expect that she give up work and stay at home to cook and look after the house and children? That was traditional too.


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    #33
    Callanutd
    Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭Callanutd


    Effects wrote: »
    This is the 21st Century. She is not a commodity. Her parents do not need to be asked for permission. Do you also expect that she give up work and stay at home to cook and look after the house and children? That was traditional too.

    Are you for real or just trolling? I know my GF would be disappointed if I didnt ask her Dad. Four of my friends have all gotten married in the last 18 months and all asked the prospective Father in law and all brides were delighted they did. Obviously it is in no way neccessary it is just a nice tradition that some people (not all) like to continue. Obviously each person will know their GF best and decide if it is something they would like.


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    #34
    Gatica
    Registered Users Posts: 3,299 ✭✭✭Gatica


    Effects wrote: »
    This is the 21st Century. She is not a commodity. Her parents do not need to be asked for permission. Do you also expect that she give up work and stay at home to cook and look after the house and children? That was traditional too.

    It's mind-boggling to me as well, but I'm sure if she was into that and very traditional/old-fashioned, she and her folks may appreciate the gesture.

    OP, I would say if you have a small budget, forget all those lavish things that aren't going to proportionally add as much enjoyment to the proposal, unless you think she'll really really love them.
    We can't say what she'll like, you'll know better than randomers on a forum... so if you plan on getting a ring within that, then decide what's more important to you and her, the ring or the proposal. It may very well be that you want a less expensive ring with a grand gesture for a proposal, but otherwise, maybe something cheaper but romantic for the proposal with a little more budget for your ring of choice.

    I'd also agree that Velentine's proposals are a little stereotypical, if you want a special date, how about your anniversary? You may both be planning something special for it anyway, so your budget may not need to be one-sided (all paid by you) but you can make/pay-for all the special touches to make it memorable for your proposal, e.g. flowers/champagne...
    I wouldn't involve your child in the proposal as really it's between you and her as a couple that's romantically involved, even if he is a big part of both your lives and the main link between you two (sorry, I don't mean it to sound like you're together only because of your child).


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    #35
    Effects
    Registered Users Posts: 9,761 ✭✭✭Effects


    Callanutd wrote: »
    I know my GF would be disappointed if I didnt ask her Dad.

    I'm glad that your GF thinks she's a piece of meat that belongs to her dad. As long as you are both happy with that then you're fine. I'd be insulted if someone asked my father if they could marry me.


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    #36
    xalot
    Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭xalot


    The ask her father first question is very personal, it means a lot to some women and others find it offensive, I think the op is in the best position to know what his girlfriend would or would not like.


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    #37
    Callanutd
    Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭Callanutd


    Effects wrote: »
    I'm glad that your GF thinks she's a piece of meat that belongs to her dad. As long as you are both happy with that then you're fine. I'd be insulted if someone asked my father if they could marry me.

    You sound like a thoroughly nice person. Amazing how you can judge my GF from one post I put on boards. The view from your horse must be amazing.


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    #38
    Effects
    Registered Users Posts: 9,761 ✭✭✭Effects


    I'm not judging your girlfriend. You're judging me just because I don't think women should be treated as men's possessions. Tradition or not.


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    #39
    Callanutd
    Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭Callanutd


    Effects wrote: »
    I'm not judging your girlfriend. You're judging me just because I don't think women should be treated as men's possessions. Tradition or not.

    You honestly think this tradition treats women like possessions? Fair enough, your opinion. I, like many others, feel it is just a nice tradition that shows respect to her family. If her father says no to me it won't stop me asking though!


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    #40
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,905 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Folks, let's keep posts civil and non-confrontational. People have differing opinions, no need to get into a row about it.


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    #41
    Andiewoo
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭Andiewoo


    I think strip that back completely!!!! Save the €€€€ for the ring and a bottle of bubbly for the celebrations. Forget the limo! Most girls are so happy with the gesture all those things are unaffordable luxuries.
    Remember it's the things one cannot buy and romance that will pull at a ladies hearts strings. Maybe build a scrapbook of your life together so far and leave the ring in the coming pages saying to be continued..


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    #42
    Alanbyrne88
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Alanbyrne88


    Following my last post I've decided to strip the expense down. My new plan is to get my son involved in the occasion he is a toddler. Maybe propose early in the day and take her for dinner and to a nice hotel for the night. Any ideas how to involve my son?


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    #43
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Get a t-shirt made for him with 'mammy will you marry daddy?' printed on it?


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    #44
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,905 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    How is his speech etc? Could you organise a 'treasure hunt' around the house, getting him to go with his mum 'helping' her find the clues, then the last clue would lead to a room/garden etc where you are and you can get down on one knee etc. Or if you plan on buying the ring beforehand, you could have the last clue lead to the ring box and then you appear from somewhere and pop the question?


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    #45
    amdublin
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,648 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Any of his little friends or cousins got a page boy outfit?? Or if your budget goes to it hire him a little page boy outfit.
    Heck even just put a little dickie boy on him.

    And get him (with you) to hand her the ring box.

    Then baby sitter arrives that evening and the two of you head off for a nice dinner.

    Good luck and ENJOY!


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    #46
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,905 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Alan, I've merged this thread with your other one, and edited the first post to include your updated plans, in case people just read the old first post and jump right in with a reply before they've read the entire thread.


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    #47
    Dietsquirt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 676 ✭✭✭Dietsquirt


    OP, I have to mirror what the majority of people in this thread are suggesting. Forget the taxis/limos/5-star hotels/restaurants.

    Do you have your own place? I got engaged 2 years ago; this is how the proceedings went: (it's important to note that money wasn't a factor)

    I told her close friends the day before that I'd be proposing, I also gave them a magnum of champagne to chill. I cooked a nice dinner (at least she pretended it was nice :p) and had a few glasses of wine.

    After the meal we moved to the couch, I told her how wonderful she was, blah blah blah then got down on one knee...

    I text her friends and they were all waiting outside; she was delighted as she had an opportunity to show off her ring (no jokes please! :pac:).

    I could tell she was delighted and I felt great. Her parents weren't notified til later as they live abroad.

    I think your girlfriend would far rather something intimate and personal than you splashing the cash and proposing in public for the hell of it.

    It might be an idea to go away the following weekend down the country, you obviously don't have to use all the remaining money. Organise a few spa treatments etc...

    Good luck and Godspeed.


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    #48
    Sala
    Registered Users Posts: 1,494 ✭✭✭Sala


    xalot wrote: »
    The ask her father first question is very personal, it means a lot to some women and others find it offensive, I think the op is in the best position to know what his girlfriend would or would not like.

    My OH did, I certainly wouldn't have expected it but after the fact I found it hilarious because I was wondering why my parents kept texting and ringing me to see how I was!!


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    #49
    Sala
    Registered Users Posts: 1,494 ✭✭✭Sala


    Alanbyrne88 wrote: »
    Following my last post I've decided to strip the expense down. My new plan is to get my son involved in the occasion he is a toddler. Maybe propose early in the day and take her for dinner and to a nice hotel for the night. Any ideas how to involve my son?

    I think involving your son is a super idea, as he is very much a part of it as family, and is much nicer than spending money on frills. My only concern is how old is he? (sorry if you said this) - if he is really old enough to know what's going on, he might be very excited at the whole thing, and then you would both feel bad just going off for dinner without him!


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    #50
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users Posts: 24,554 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    Alanbyrne88 wrote: »
    Following my last post I've decided to strip the expense down. My new plan is to get my son involved in the occasion he is a toddler. Maybe propose early in the day and take her for dinner and to a nice hotel for the night. Any ideas how to involve my son?

    Put the ring in his food. When nature takes its copurse, have her change the nappy and TA-DAAAA!

    Or have him change her and he's wearing a 'will you marry my daddy' t-shirt under his top.


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    #51
    Callanutd
    Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭Callanutd


    So as of Friday I am now engaged! I asked her Dad on Wednesday (she was delighted I did). We were having a night away in the Royal Marine Hotel in Dun Laoghaire, we had stayed there before and loved it. Around 5.30 we took a stroll down the Pier, the weather was perfect and when I felt the time was right I went down on one knee. I had a big speech worked out in my head but that didnt happen! It couldnt have gone any better, both of us over the moon. I had a token ring from Marks and Spencers to do the job and we picked out the real one together in Dublin the next day. Now the real fun of planning the wedding begins!


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    #52
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users Posts: 24,554 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    Callanutd wrote: »
    So as of Friday I am now engaged! I asked her Dad on Wednesday (she was delighted I did). We were having a night away in the Royal Marine Hotel in Dun Laoghaire, we had stayed there before and loved it. Around 5.30 we took a stroll down the Pier, the weather was perfect and when I felt the time was right I went down on one knee. I had a big speech worked out in my head but that didnt happen! It couldnt have gone any better, both of us over the moon. I had a token ring from Marks and Spencers to do the job and we picked out the real one together in Dublin the next day. Now the real fun of planning the wedding begins!


    Fair play, chief.

    I spent so long thinking about planning, I did no actual planning and about 5 minutes before I did it, I fashioned a ring out of tin-foil rolled up and twisted into a ring (she still treasures it, mind you).

    Bets of luck!


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    #53
    Sala
    Registered Users Posts: 1,494 ✭✭✭Sala


    Callanutd wrote: »
    So as of Friday I am now engaged! I asked her Dad on Wednesday (she was delighted I did). We were having a night away in the Royal Marine Hotel in Dun Laoghaire, we had stayed there before and loved it. Around 5.30 we took a stroll down the Pier, the weather was perfect and when I felt the time was right I went down on one knee. I had a big speech worked out in my head but that didnt happen! It couldnt have gone any better, both of us over the moon. I had a token ring from Marks and Spencers to do the job and we picked out the real one together in Dublin the next day. Now the real fun of planning the wedding begins!

    Congrats!!!! Sounds like it was amazing, well done you!


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    #54
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Callanutd wrote: »
    So as of Friday I am now engaged! I asked her Dad on Wednesday (she was delighted I did). We were having a night away in the Royal Marine Hotel in Dun Laoghaire, we had stayed there before and loved it. Around 5.30 we took a stroll down the Pier, the weather was perfect and when I felt the time was right I went down on one knee. I had a big speech worked out in my head but that didnt happen! It couldnt have gone any better, both of us over the moon. I had a token ring from Marks and Spencers to do the job and we picked out the real one together in Dublin the next day. Now the real fun of planning the wedding begins!

    yay!
    Well done!
    Congrats to you both!
    Enjoy the planning. It's a lot of fun :p:D


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    #55
    Gatica
    Registered Users Posts: 3,299 ✭✭✭Gatica


    Sounds wonderful! Congratulations to you both!


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    #56
    kandr10
    Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    That's super romantic! Congrats :)


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    #57
    magicmushroom
    Registered Users Posts: 824 ✭✭✭magicmushroom


    Lovely news, congratulations to you both :)


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    #58
    promises
    Registered Users Posts: 102 ✭✭promises


    Sounds perfect, congratulations!!!


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