Proposing to girlfriend ideas

Alanbyrne88

Alanbyrne88 wrote: »

Following my last post I've decided to strip the expense down. My new plan is to get my son involved in the occasion he is a toddler. Maybe propose early in the day and take her for dinner and to a nice hotel for the night. Any ideas how to involve my son?

I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend sometime in 2015 I have valentines day picked out but I want to book a hotel and valentines day they are all booked out allready. Anyway I'm on a budget of around €1200 for hotel ring and transportation due to financial difficulties. I'm looking for ideas as I want to plan early. She lives at home with her parents still we have 1 child both working as much hours as we can in min pay jobs. Anyway here is my proposal plan.

-5pm Taxi from Lucan to roxford lodge hotel dublin(executive suite) have a glass of wine relax in jacuzzi.

8pm Limo to 5* restaurant dublin city have dinner and make proposal.

10pm VIP in top dublin club where we meet our best friends and celebrate

???am limo back to roxford lodge.

?????
I have no idea what to do but is that a good plan? Or should I involve my son. Please leave your opinions below. Aka the times above May not be exact thank you

Faith

Proposals are extremely personal. All I can say is that to me, I'd have absolutely died if my fiancé proposed in public. I'd have HATED it. If your girlfriend isn't an extrovert, or doesn't like attention being on her, think about doing it in a more private setting. But again, that's just me.

Zaph

I agree with Faith, my wife would have been mortified if I'd proposed to her in public. It's really not something that everyone would like, so you need to give a lot of thought to whether or not she'd be OK with it first. As it was, I did propose to her in a public place, but discreetly so that only the two of us knew what was happening. There was certainly no getting down on one knee for the world to see, or anything like that. The other thing I'd say is forget about Valentine's Day. So many couples get engaged on that day (and also Christmas) that it's a real cliché, and do you really want to be just one making up the numbers? Plus everywhere jacks up their prices for Valentines, and if you're on a budget you'll get much better value at a different time. Pick a date, even just a couple of weeks later, that will be special to you guys. If you're of the age when you're friends are all starting to get married there's a good chance some of them might get engaged on Valentines Day as well, and do you really want to share the limelight? Anyway, no matter how you do it, best of luck. It's a great feeling when she says yes.

Alanbyrne88

Faith wrote: »

Proposals are extremely personal. All I can say is that to me, I'd have absolutely died if my fiancé proposed in public. I'd have HATED it. If your girlfriend isn't an extrovert, or doesn't like attention being on her, think about doing it in a more private setting. But again, that's just me.

Thanks for your reply would you recommend doing it before the dinner or even doing it in front of our child?

promises

It's not always necessary to spend mad money on meal, transport etc...depends on the lady. I personally would prefer a proposal which cost nothing ( apart from the ring obviously). To come up wit an original idea for little cost is so much more thoughtful and romantic in my personal opinion. Not all females may agree as some like the whole fuss thing. I agree wit previous post ...everyone gets engaged Valentine's. Maybe the date you first met, sons birthday etc. A date that is special to you both. I like the idea of your son been involved. maybe romantic walk and your son jumps out with flowers or something. Best of luck and remember the simplest ideas are sometimes the best.

Effects

Limos are only for plebs trying to look rich/posh. They don't fool anyone except other plebs.

Morpork

I agree with whats been said so far. Something personal and thoughtful, while avoiding cliches is best in my opinion.
Here's what I did, maybe it will give you some ideas.

My girlfriend went back to Japan for a month for her brother's wedding, so as a surprise I flew over for the last week of that month and stayed in a hotel. Before I left Ireland I e-mailed her best friend asking her to bring her (as a friends day out) to Osaka castle park; which is where we had our first kiss and many dates. I waited there at the arranged spot, which was nice and quiet with a good view and when she saw me cried with joy, then I popped the question. Also, since I booked her flights I was able to book my own flight with a seat next to her on the way home.

So, think of places, times or objects that are important to her and try to factor in the little details as much as possible to. Don't forgot to enjoy yourself too!

Chattastrophe!

Personally I wouldn't be keen on the idea of going out partying with your friends on the same night. Firstly, I think it would be far more special for you to celebrate the occasion together on the night - you can have a party with friends at a later date. Secondly, wouldn't you probably end up telling loads of your friends in advance what you were going to be celebrating? I'd hate for all my friends to know before it happened. And thirdly, mightn't a lot of your friends have their own plans for Valentines Day ...? Or some people absolutely hate the whole concept and refuse to go out on the night, to avoid the overpricing and sappy music, decorations etc.

Would also agree about doing it somewhere private ... a public proposal sounds so cringey.

Princess Peach

I don't know if anyone can give you advise, as we don't know your girlfriend!

Your plan above would be my nightmare! My fiance proposed in our living room, and then we had a lovely dinner and evening at home together. But that might be your girlfriend's nightmare proposal.

My fiance knew what I would like as we had discussed it. Not so blatantly "I'm proposing soon, what would you like" but it had come in conversation over the years what I would like and what I would hate (a diamond and public proposal ) Just find some subtle ways to see if she would like what you have in mind before making plans.

ElleEm

I would agree with the others- proposing should be a private romantic affair, the idea of getting engaged in a room filled with strangers (many of them doing the same thing!) on Valentine's Day would not make me feel in the slightest bit special.

superman28

Would you consider another date? When I proposed it seemed to be out of the blue (for her) I had been planning it for ages..

Personnally I hate Valantines day,, its a rip off and there are couples everywhere.. I proposed in public (in the park) it was nice,, no one really noticed anyway.. why not the weekend before,, this will catch her off guard..

Also,, certainly do not involve your friends or family on the day of the proposal. (a phone call is enough) trust me..

I would recommend proposing early on in the day,, followed with more surprises like (by the way we are staying in a nice hotel and going for a meal,, etc etc) This day is all about you and her,, it is really excitiing for the whole day,, just enjoy it and make a big day and night of it.. but at the end of the day,, you know your GF best so you should have a good idea of what she wants..

stargazer 68

I have to agree with everyone else. Why not cook her a lovely meal, candles etc and get your child to give her the ring? Or something personal like that. You really don't need to spend all that money on fancy cars and hotels etc.

dharma200

Wouldn't do valentines day it's very cheesy.... Also just as an aside, personally I would hold of the engagement and use the money on a deposit for a place so you can live together, if you already have a child then I think living together would be way more important than a ring and a limo...
Good luck with it... My own preference would be a quiet meal, a deep felt chat and then asked... All the rest is meaningless x

baldbear

You don't need to spend anything when you propose especially when funds are tight.

What about just doing it on a nice private walk? You could have your kid with you too?

jonnyfingers

My advice would be try to figure out what your girlfriend would like in a proposal. She may have mentioned something about it so think back to anything related to it. The two big questions would be whether she'd prefer it to be a private affair just between the two of you or would she be open to being proposed to in a more public setting. Second question would be if she'd be happy for you to choose and present her with the engagement ring or if she might prefer the two of you to pick it out together after the proposal. If you can answer both of those then you'll have a good idea what she'd like and you can plan around that.

When it comes to the actual proposal I would advise not trying to do anything too complicated. I found with my proposal, and those of the people I know, that the plan rarely went off without a hitch. Usually something unexpected happens and you may need to improvise a bit. If you plan something that's very complicated there's just more that could not go to plan which may stress you out unnecessarily.

Lastly remember what the proposal is really about, asking her to marry you and committing to a future together. This is vastly more important than where or how the question is asked. As long as you make her feel like the most special person in the world she'll be over the moon.

Best of luck.

Callanutd

I agree with a lot of the above:
1. Ditch the Limo
2. Keep that night just for the two of you. Plenty of time later on for friends.
3. No big public displays, go for a walk after or before dinner.

Best of luck with it anyway!

the_syco

Alanbyrne88 wrote: »

would you recommend doing it before the dinner or even doing it in front of our child?

Oh hell no! This may put a lot of unfair pressure on the your girlfriend.

Mate of mine proposed on a chopper flying over NYC (they were over there on holiday, so he planned the chopper) with a sunset in the background. Whatever you do, try and have it personal. Remember; personal doesn't have to be too expensive, but can mean a lot more!

michellie

That doesn't sound like a proposal I would like, definitely not in a restaurant and Valentine's day is very cheesy.

My fiance proposed in a hotel the night before we were to fly away for a weekend, it was just the two of us in the room.(it was completely unexpected and I cried a lot!!) So we celebrated by spending the evening together, then flew to the UK for 2 days together, it was fantastic! Then our families had a surprise party for us the night we got home

italodisco

public is a risk lol
I proposed at the Eiffel tower and the minute my knee went down we were stormed by Asians with cameras out lol

ended up on two chinese news sites lol

whiskeyman

At the end of the day, only you know your wife-to-be (hopefully!) better than anyone here.

If you think she'd love a limo... do it.
If she'd love a VIP celebration with friends afterwards.... do it.
If she'd love to be proposed on Valentines Day.... do it.

It's not everyones cup of tea, but thankfully everyones different!

Best of luck.

beertons

What's plan B?

beaver111

Don't do it

godtabh

Alanbyrne88 wrote: »

I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend sometime in 2015 I have valentines day picked out but I want to book a hotel and valentines day they are all booked out allready. Anyway I'm on a budget of around €1200 for hotel ring and transportation due to financial difficulties. I'm looking for ideas as I want to plan early. She lives at home with her parents still we have 1 child both working as much hours as we can in min pay jobs. Anyway here is my proposal plan.

-5pm Taxi from Lucan to roxford lodge hotel dublin(executive suite) have a glass of wine relax in jacuzzi.

8pm Limo to 5* restaurant dublin city have dinner and make proposal.

10pm VIP in top dublin club where we meet our best friends and celebrate

???am limo back to roxford lodge.

?????
I have no idea what to do but is that a good plan? Or should I involve my son. Please leave your opinions below. Aka the times above May not be exact thank you

if you are stuck for money why waste it on taxis and limos and 5 star hotels?

skyline1515

You say you want to include your son and on a budget, why not cook a nice meal at home, flowers etc, make it special.. just the 3 of you... if she is not into public displays i would stay clear... i proposed to my other half in a hotel room and we told no one until the evening after, it was nice to have that time alone an enjoy the moment.... what ever you choose i hope it all goes to plan and wish you all the best

Toots

OP if you've got a €1200 budget and are hoping to include a ring in that, you need to seriously re-think your proposal plan.

Money wise, you're looking at about €200 for the hotel (this is going by their website) and it doesn't say whether that includes breakfast/mini bar etc
Depending on how fancy you go for dinner, you could be looking at €150 or more depending on what you eat/drink.
No idea how much VIP in a club costs for a night, I'm assuming there's some sort of cover charge for it.
You'd most likely be looking at another couple of hundred euro for the limo too, unless you know someone who's got one and will do it for less, or for free.

So, with all that spent, you could be looking at having less than €500 left to spend on a ring. Now, you might get something perfectly nice for that, but your choices might be more limited.

Also, you'd want to be VERY sure she'd be cool with a public proposal. Personally, I'd have died a death if my hubby had proposed in the middle of a restaurant. When you pop the question you want her reaction to be surprise and delight, not mortification and upset. In fairness, if it's valentine's day, she'll probably guess what you're up to as soon as the limo shows up. Also, a restaurant on valentine's night isn't the most original of proposals, you wouldn't want to have 2 or 3 other couples getting engaged at the same time? Also, as Catastrophe! pointed out, a lot of your friends/family may have their own plans that night so it wouldn't be ideal from that point of view either.

If you're set on going somewhere overnight, just go somewhere nice that doesn't break the bank (exclusivity isn't the be all and end all). Choosing a different date will give you lots more options in that regard. Have you ever been away together overnight before? Maybe a visit to a hotel/venue that's somewhere special to you would be a romantic option, and it would be just the two of you, celebrate with friends and family some other time.

Effects

Toots wrote: »

So, with all that spent, you could be looking at having less than €500 left to spend on a ring. Now, you might get something perfectly nice for that, but your choices might be more limited.

Cause love is all about how much you spend on a ring.

Toots

Effects wrote: »

Cause love is all about how much you spend on a ring.

:rolleyes: Where did I say that? The point I made is that he would most likely have a smaller selection to choose from with a budget of €500ish. I never said he has to spend an arbitrary amount on one.

eviltwin

I think you should keep it simple and spend your money on maybe celebrating it together after she's had a chance to take it all in but it all depends on your girlfriend, we don't know her, you do.

Personally I would hate the idea of the proposal and then telling everyone that night, maybe you would tell your close family but its nice to share that news together when you have gotten your head around it a little, you have a lot packed in and tbh it could be a bit overwhelming for the girl.

I think including your child in it is a lovely idea. The moment you get engaged is a wonderful thing just as it is, you really don't need to have all the glitz on top of it.

Effects

Toots wrote: »

:rolleyes: Where did I say that? The point I made is that he would most likely have a smaller selection to choose from with a budget of €500ish. I never said he has to spend an arbitrary amount on one.

Wasn't a dig at you, more directed at the general consensus.

hairyprincess

I would also consider asking her Mum or Dad for her hand in marriage, if your girlfriend is traditional and has a good relationship with her parents.

xalot

One thing that nobody else has mentioned is the after party with your friends, if it's Valentines night then your friends who are in relationships may have other plans, also I would hate if all my friends knew that my boyfriend was going to propose before I did!

Effects

hairyprincess wrote: »

I would also consider asking her Mum or Dad for her hand in marriage, if your girlfriend is traditional and has a good relationship with her parents.

This is the 21st Century. She is not a commodity. Her parents do not need to be asked for permission. Do you also expect that she give up work and stay at home to cook and look after the house and children? That was traditional too.

Callanutd

Effects wrote: »

This is the 21st Century. She is not a commodity. Her parents do not need to be asked for permission. Do you also expect that she give up work and stay at home to cook and look after the house and children? That was traditional too.

Are you for real or just trolling? I know my GF would be disappointed if I didnt ask her Dad. Four of my friends have all gotten married in the last 18 months and all asked the prospective Father in law and all brides were delighted they did. Obviously it is in no way neccessary it is just a nice tradition that some people (not all) like to continue. Obviously each person will know their GF best and decide if it is something they would like.

Gatica

Effects wrote: »

This is the 21st Century. She is not a commodity. Her parents do not need to be asked for permission. Do you also expect that she give up work and stay at home to cook and look after the house and children? That was traditional too.

It's mind-boggling to me as well, but I'm sure if she was into that and very traditional/old-fashioned, she and her folks may appreciate the gesture.

OP, I would say if you have a small budget, forget all those lavish things that aren't going to proportionally add as much enjoyment to the proposal, unless you think she'll really really love them.
We can't say what she'll like, you'll know better than randomers on a forum... so if you plan on getting a ring within that, then decide what's more important to you and her, the ring or the proposal. It may very well be that you want a less expensive ring with a grand gesture for a proposal, but otherwise, maybe something cheaper but romantic for the proposal with a little more budget for your ring of choice.

I'd also agree that Velentine's proposals are a little stereotypical, if you want a special date, how about your anniversary? You may both be planning something special for it anyway, so your budget may not need to be one-sided (all paid by you) but you can make/pay-for all the special touches to make it memorable for your proposal, e.g. flowers/champagne...
I wouldn't involve your child in the proposal as really it's between you and her as a couple that's romantically involved, even if he is a big part of both your lives and the main link between you two (sorry, I don't mean it to sound like you're together only because of your child).

Effects

Callanutd wrote: »

I know my GF would be disappointed if I didnt ask her Dad.

I'm glad that your GF thinks she's a piece of meat that belongs to her dad. As long as you are both happy with that then you're fine. I'd be insulted if someone asked my father if they could marry me.

xalot

The ask her father first question is very personal, it means a lot to some women and others find it offensive, I think the op is in the best position to know what his girlfriend would or would not like.

Callanutd

Effects wrote: »

I'm glad that your GF thinks she's a piece of meat that belongs to her dad. As long as you are both happy with that then you're fine. I'd be insulted if someone asked my father if they could marry me.

You sound like a thoroughly nice person. Amazing how you can judge my GF from one post I put on boards. The view from your horse must be amazing.

Effects

I'm not judging your girlfriend. You're judging me just because I don't think women should be treated as men's possessions. Tradition or not.

Callanutd

Effects wrote: »

I'm not judging your girlfriend. You're judging me just because I don't think women should be treated as men's possessions. Tradition or not.

You honestly think this tradition treats women like possessions? Fair enough, your opinion. I, like many others, feel it is just a nice tradition that shows respect to her family. If her father says no to me it won't stop me asking though!

Toots

Folks, let's keep posts civil and non-confrontational. People have differing opinions, no need to get into a row about it.

Andiewoo

I think strip that back completely!!!! Save the €€€€ for the ring and a bottle of bubbly for the celebrations. Forget the limo! Most girls are so happy with the gesture all those things are unaffordable luxuries.
Remember it's the things one cannot buy and romance that will pull at a ladies hearts strings. Maybe build a scrapbook of your life together so far and leave the ring in the coming pages saying to be continued..

Alanbyrne88

Following my last post I've decided to strip the expense down. My new plan is to get my son involved in the occasion he is a toddler. Maybe propose early in the day and take her for dinner and to a nice hotel for the night. Any ideas how to involve my son?

eviltwin

Get a t-shirt made for him with 'mammy will you marry daddy?' printed on it?

Toots

How is his speech etc? Could you organise a 'treasure hunt' around the house, getting him to go with his mum 'helping' her find the clues, then the last clue would lead to a room/garden etc where you are and you can get down on one knee etc. Or if you plan on buying the ring beforehand, you could have the last clue lead to the ring box and then you appear from somewhere and pop the question?

amdublin

Any of his little friends or cousins got a page boy outfit?? Or if your budget goes to it hire him a little page boy outfit.
Heck even just put a little dickie boy on him.

And get him (with you) to hand her the ring box.

Then baby sitter arrives that evening and the two of you head off for a nice dinner.

Good luck and ENJOY!

Toots

Alan, I've merged this thread with your other one, and edited the first post to include your updated plans, in case people just read the old first post and jump right in with a reply before they've read the entire thread.

Dietsquirt

OP, I have to mirror what the majority of people in this thread are suggesting. Forget the taxis/limos/5-star hotels/restaurants.

Do you have your own place? I got engaged 2 years ago; this is how the proceedings went: (it's important to note that money wasn't a factor)

I told her close friends the day before that I'd be proposing, I also gave them a magnum of champagne to chill. I cooked a nice dinner (at least she pretended it was nice ) and had a few glasses of wine.

After the meal we moved to the couch, I told her how wonderful she was, blah blah blah then got down on one knee...

I text her friends and they were all waiting outside; she was delighted as she had an opportunity to show off her ring (no jokes please! :pac:).

I could tell she was delighted and I felt great. Her parents weren't notified til later as they live abroad.

I think your girlfriend would far rather something intimate and personal than you splashing the cash and proposing in public for the hell of it.

It might be an idea to go away the following weekend down the country, you obviously don't have to use all the remaining money. Organise a few spa treatments etc...

Good luck and Godspeed.

Sala

xalot wrote: »

The ask her father first question is very personal, it means a lot to some women and others find it offensive, I think the op is in the best position to know what his girlfriend would or would not like.

My OH did, I certainly wouldn't have expected it but after the fact I found it hilarious because I was wondering why my parents kept texting and ringing me to see how I was!!

Sala

Alanbyrne88 wrote: »

Following my last post I've decided to strip the expense down. My new plan is to get my son involved in the occasion he is a toddler. Maybe propose early in the day and take her for dinner and to a nice hotel for the night. Any ideas how to involve my son?

I think involving your son is a super idea, as he is very much a part of it as family, and is much nicer than spending money on frills. My only concern is how old is he? (sorry if you said this) - if he is really old enough to know what's going on, he might be very excited at the whole thing, and then you would both feel bad just going off for dinner without him!

Alf Veedersane

Alanbyrne88 wrote: »

Following my last post I've decided to strip the expense down. My new plan is to get my son involved in the occasion he is a toddler. Maybe propose early in the day and take her for dinner and to a nice hotel for the night. Any ideas how to involve my son?

Put the ring in his food. When nature takes its copurse, have her change the nappy and TA-DAAAA!

Or have him change her and he's wearing a 'will you marry my daddy' t-shirt under his top.

Callanutd

So as of Friday I am now engaged! I asked her Dad on Wednesday (she was delighted I did). We were having a night away in the Royal Marine Hotel in Dun Laoghaire, we had stayed there before and loved it. Around 5.30 we took a stroll down the Pier, the weather was perfect and when I felt the time was right I went down on one knee. I had a big speech worked out in my head but that didnt happen! It couldnt have gone any better, both of us over the moon. I had a token ring from Marks and Spencers to do the job and we picked out the real one together in Dublin the next day. Now the real fun of planning the wedding begins!