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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!
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Join Date:Posts: 29920
Wexie, you absolutely have an expectation of privacy and I dunno why he would need "cover" for his holidays for your depression. So you have a right to be miffed.
I would say you have done the right thing by taking a walk first to think things over.
Now have a think about this.... your depression shouldn't be a big secret. (Secrets make you sick, trust me on that one.
). I'm not saying you need to broadcast it around the office and everyone you know but in my experience I found HUGE relief by coming to terms with my depression and seeing it as a much lesser thing than I had allowed it to become in my head. When I belittled it (in a manner of speaking) I took the power it had over me and somehow that seemed to make it more manageable.
So yeah, the guy made a very poor judgement around your privacy but maybe you can turn this to the good. Lots and lots and lots of people get depression in Ireland. Probably more than get a common cold. Its not trivial, I know that only too well but don't give it power it doesn't deserve.0 -
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Thanks all for your good advice, I've given the situation some thought. I think he's absolutely shown poor judgement but more likely than not it was probably done with the best of intentions.
As Drumpot (thank you) said :I do think I have a good reason to make an issue out of this, however I can't see what good could come from it. Better to take it up with him privately and make sure he knows he owes me one
Thanks again everybody, hope ya'll have a cracking good weekend.0 -
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Join Date:Posts: 29920
Sometimes Twitter forces me to condense what I'm trying to say into something concentrated
https://twitter.com/DeVore/status/493699893887008768
"When I was pretending to be happy I was deeply unhappy and what made me happy was telling people that I wasn't as happy as I pretended. O.o"0 -
I'm feeling a lot like Temperance Brennan (Bones)today
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdboegyrdn1rtwu45o1_500.jpg
People are weird
Although perhaps it's me that's somewhat weird to expect logic and rational thinking to be commonplace0 -
Hey guys, I need some help... (And have a bit of a rant/tell my story, just to make myself feel better.. If you don't want all that just skip down a few paragraphs and I'd appreciate some advice.)
I'm 18 and am nearly certain that I'm suffering from some sort of depression, I'm going to make an appointment with my GP in the coming days, I've just ignored this and hoped it would get better for long enough.
Anyway, to be honest I can't remember the last time I felt truly happy, must have been some time between the ages of 12 and 13, feeling down has just become normal to me, a part of life. I'd say I've had thoughts of suicide everyday for the past 3 years, but I wouldn't consider myself "suicidal" as I've never made anything beyond a half-assed plan that I know I'd never go through with.. Partly because the thought of the effect it would have on my parents/little brother breaks my heart.. But recently I've started to worry myself, I've came close to self-harming quite a lot but I've always managed to convince myself otherwise, today was nearly different though. Sure there's been a few hours here and there where I'm on top of the world, the odd full day maybe once or twice a year, but besides that I'm feeling down 90% of the time. Even when I'm doing something I enjoy I can't escape negative thoughts, and now my mind is surrounded by negativity even when I'm looking back at some things I feel I genuinely should be proud of...
My concentration levels have gone to sh*t in the past few months, used to love playing my guitar, a bit of playstation, reading a book etc., just all the things any teenager would enjoy.. but now I can't even enjoy doing them because I can't concentrate, if anything trying to do any of those things actually worsens my mood because I know they would have helped distract me for a couple of hours in the past... It's as if I can't take enjoyment out of anything most days, most of the time I just have to try to stop myself from thinking negative thoughts, which isn't easy.
My energy? It's as good as gone. Some days turning on the laptop seems like too much effort, and walking down to the shop seems like a big effort most days. I spend about 9 hours lying on my bed in my room some days, I just don't have the motivation to do anything else. Don't have a clue how I'd have got through school if I was feeling this sh*t a few months ago, I'm not sure if I'll be able to manage college at all to be honest unless I sort this out. The fact that I thought before my exams that my Summer holidays might actually improve my mood is the worst part, because if anything I feel twice as bad now than I ever have. My "time off" has just turned into one of the most difficult periods of my life so far.
My social life is non-existent at the moment, and to be honest that's all on me. I was never the most social of people, but I always had 4 or 5 friends I'd keep in close contact with/have a laugh with, but I just have no time for any of them anymore, since about the middle of May I've been basically ignoring them whenever I can. I just don't want to talk to them. Frankly, I don't like treating my friends like sh*t but I only feel worse when I'm around them. I've agreed to meet up with a few friends during the week but I'm seriously regretting it already. It just seems like so much effort to pretend to be in good humour you know? Whenever I'm with them I just feel like I'm laughing at and listening to a load of stupid sh*t that doesn't matter and that I don't care about, anything they say to me just seems so irrelevant to me because I just feel like I'm trapped in my own little bubble. My brain's telling me to lock myself in my room for a week and see nobody, but I know that'll only make things worse.
I'd love to be out having the laugh with my friends a couple times a week, but I just think it's impossible at the moment.
Anyway, all that's what's up with me, exciting stuff eh?
I'd like some advice now (not medical) if you don't mind.. I know this may seem trivial or whatever, but it's something I've been having terrible trouble trying to gather up the courage to do for the past few years... The only person I've told about how I'm feeling is to a friend who lives abroad, simply because I needed to rant about sh*t and I know he won't tell anyone else about it (that's more because he's an asshole than anything but that's fine by me! ). I've come to realise anyway that I have to tell my parents, but I don't have a clue how to go about it (stupid, I know), any advice? I believe that if my situation was ehm... "normal", I'd have told them by now, but I really don't want to worry them due to some past experiences they've had with mental illness/other family members, don't want to say much else about that tbh. If I told my mother everything I've said on here for example she'd be in bits, and that's the last thing I want. Should I just tell them I've been feeling down for a while and I'd like to speak to a doctor about it? To be honest there's not a chance I'm telling them I've been having thoughts of suicide.. Not in this conversation anyway.
It's as much for my good that I have to tell them as well to be honest, I can't expect them to understand how sh*t I'm feeling if I don't tell them.
Thanks guys, sorry for the long post, felt good to get all that out of my system... Only took an hour and a half...
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Hotfail.com wrote: »Hey guys, I need some help... (And have a bit of a rant/tell my story, just to make myself feel better.. If you don't want all that just skip down a few paragraphs and I'd appreciate some advice.)
I'm 18 and am nearly certain that I'm suffering from some sort of depression, I'm going to make an appointment with my GP in the coming days, I've just ignored this and hoped it would get better for long enough.
Anyway, to be honest I can't remember the last time I felt truly happy, must have been some time between the ages of 12 and 13, feeling down has just become normal to me, a part of life. I'd say I've had thoughts of suicide everyday for the past 3 years, but I wouldn't consider myself "suicidal" as I've never made anything beyond a half-assed plan that I know I'd never go through with.. Partly because the thought of the effect it would have on my parents/little brother breaks my heart.. But recently I've started to worry myself, I've came close to self-harming quite a lot but I've always managed to convince myself otherwise, today was nearly different though. Sure there's been a few hours here and there where I'm on top of the world, the odd full day maybe once or twice a year, but besides that I'm feeling down 90% of the time. Even when I'm doing something I enjoy I can't escape negative thoughts, and now my mind is surrounded by negativity even when I'm looking back at some things I feel I genuinely should be proud of...
My concentration levels have gone to sh*t in the past few months, used to love playing my guitar, a bit of playstation, reading a book etc., just all the things any teenager would enjoy.. but now I can't even enjoy doing them because I can't concentrate, if anything trying to do any of those things actually worsens my mood because I know they would have helped distract me for a couple of hours in the past... It's as if I can't take enjoyment out of anything most days, most of the time I just have to try to stop myself from thinking negative thoughts, which isn't easy.
My energy? It's as good as gone. Some days turning on the laptop seems like too much effort, and walking down to the shop seems like a big effort most days. I spend about 9 hours lying on my bed in my room some days, I just don't have the motivation to do anything else. Don't have a clue how I'd have got through school if I was feeling this sh*t a few months ago, I'm not sure if I'll be able to manage college at all to be honest unless I sort this out. The fact that I thought before my exams that my Summer holidays might actually improve my mood is the worst part, because if anything I feel twice as bad now than I ever have. My "time off" has just turned into one of the most difficult periods of my life so far.
My social life is non-existent at the moment, and to be honest that's all on me. I was never the most social of people, but I always had 4 or 5 friends I'd keep in close contact with/have a laugh with, but I just have no time for any of them anymore, since about the middle of May I've been basically ignoring them whenever I can. I just don't want to talk to them. Frankly, I don't like treating my friends like sh*t but I only feel worse when I'm around them. I've agreed to meet up with a few friends during the week but I'm seriously regretting it already. It just seems like so much effort to pretend to be in good humour you know? Whenever I'm with them I just feel like I'm laughing at and listening to a load of stupid sh*t that doesn't matter and that I don't care about, anything they say to me just seems so irrelevant to me because I just feel like I'm trapped in my own little bubble. My brain's telling me to lock myself in my room for a week and see nobody, but I know that'll only make things worse. I'd love to be out having the laugh with my friends a couple times a week, but I just think it's impossible at the moment.
Anyway, all that's what's up with me, exciting stuff eh? I'd like some advice now (not medical) if you don't mind.. I know this may seem trivial or whatever, but it's something I've been having terrible trouble trying to gather up the courage to do for the past few years... The only person I've told about how I'm feeling is to a friend who lives abroad, simply because I needed to rant about sh*t and I know he won't tell anyone else about it (that's more because he's an asshole than anything but that's fine by me! ). I've come to realise anyway that I have to tell my parents, but I don't have a clue how to go about it (stupid, I know), any advice? I believe that if my situation was ehm... "normal", I'd have told them by now, but I really don't want to worry them due to some past experiences they've had with mental illness/other family members, don't want to say much else about that tbh. If I told my mother everything I've said on here for example she'd be in bits, and that's the last thing I want. Should I just tell them I've been feeling down for a while and I'd like to speak to a doctor about it? To be honest there's not a chance I'm telling them I've been having thoughts of suicide.. Not in this conversation anyway.
It's as much for my good that I have to tell them as well to be honest, I can't expect them to understand how sh*t I'm feeling if I don't tell them.
Thanks guys, sorry for the long post, felt good to get all that out of my system... Only took an hour and a half...
There's certainly a whole lot there, let me give you a few thoughts, please do keep in mind I'm not a medical professional, nor a counsellor, so these really are just thoughts and completely unqualified advice :
- you should really tell your parents, it's much better they know there's something up with you than think you're being a typical lazy teenager, the reactions are likely worlds apart and I'd imagine the treatment you'd get from your parents for being a lazy teenager would be completely counter productive for someone with depression (that's certainly how it was for me many moons ago, the last thing you need to hear is : ah would ya ever get over yourself, get your thumb out etc. etc. etc.)
- have a think about telling at least one of your friends, if they know it might be easier for them to keep up the effort to try to get you to come out, provided you try to make some effort as well. If you think this is hard now, wait till you've lost all your friends and have to make new ones, really try to avoid this if you can. Aside from that the support of your friends is important and it's important you try to stay active. Lying on your bed the whole day is not at all doing you any good. You don't even need to explain in detail. You could just say : I'm sorry dude, I haven't been feeling very well lately but I'd like to get out and do something. If you're worried about going out with the group just ask one friend at first.
- If you're worried about college, that's okay, have a think about perhaps postponing it for a year? Are you worried about the course? Is there an underlying feeling of anxiousness about the wrong course? If there's any doubt about the course, or you're feeling pressured in a certain direction (I'm doing this cause it's the done thing, or your parents are expecting something of you) you need to have a good long hard think about it. College isn't going to be much fun if you're studying something you're not fully behind and it's going to be just soo much harder to stick to and finish.
- if you're having trouble concentrating or you're not enjoying what you used to enjoy, try something new. For me certainly it's helped a great deal to create something tangible. I've started gardening and have found it very satisfying to see the result. There are tonnes of things you can do that won't have to cost any money at all. Go visit the ISPCA and volunteer to bring some dogs for a walk (if you like dags that is
), have a root around the garage and see if you can find materials to build something, try some baking (I've started making the most delicious homemade pizza's (everything from scratch).
But just whatever you do try to get out of your room, believe it or not, sunshine and activity will help, even if you don't feel like it now.
This isn't easy but you've taken the first step (asked for advice from random strangers on the internet
) so you're on the way to improving already!!
And just remember, this is a good place to ask for advice, support or just rant. (pretty much at any time of the day as well)
(also, what might help, the way I broached the whole depression thing with Mrs. W is to get her to read Devore's first post in the thread. Certainly made things a lot easier)0 -
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