The Fathers Thread

uck51js9zml2yt · 08-01-2014 10:19am

5 weeks in and I could kill for more than 2,hours sleep. forgot what sleep deprivation does to the body.

junior is thriving and taking 4 -5 oz every 2 or 3 hours. gets colicky late in the evening but hopefully that Will settle soon.
my 3 year old son thinks it's great having a brother.

stantheman8 · 08-01-2014 3:01pm

Molly Wide Creator wrote: »

5 weeks in and I could kill for more than 2,hours sleep. forgot what sleep deprivation does to the body.
junior is thriving and taking 4 -5 oz every 2 or 3 hours. gets colicky late in the evening but hopefully that Will settle soon.
my 3 year old son thinks it's great having a brother.

Almost 4 weeks in and sleep deprivation is really starting to kick in.
What has worked/ is working well for other Dads?

Pawwed Rig · 08-01-2014 3:05pm

I am curious (and probably a bit naive) about the sleep deprivation part. How often does the baby wake up at night. Does taking feeding in turns not mean that you both get at least a minimum amount of unbroken sleep?

uck51js9zml2yt · 08-01-2014 3:39pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I am curious (and probably a bit naive) about the sleep deprivation part. How often does the baby wake up at night. Does taking feeding in turns not mean that you both get at least a minimum amount of unbroken sleep?

try sleeping with a crying baby in your ear

nikpmup · 08-01-2014 3:47pm

In the early days, we did this: if I got up with jnr during the night, he got up in the early morning and vice versa. So say, he did the midnight feed, we all went to bed, I'd do the 3am/4am feed (downstairs so he could sleep) and he'd do the 6am feed downstairs so I could snooze on. That way we each got a few hours unbroken sleep.
After he went back to work, I did night feeds during the week, and he did weekends - although he didn't go back to work until jnr was 8 weeks old, by which time he was starting to outgrow the night feeds

Roesy · 08-01-2014 4:00pm

The way we worked it was that for the first couple of weeks, before my husband went back to work he'd do the middle of the night feed and I'd get up in the morning. On a work night he'd put her down for the night and I'd go to bed early then. It's hard for the first few weeks until you can start predicting when they will wake. It's also harder in the first couple of weeks if they are being breastfed as they can feed an awful lot which is very tiring! Our little lady was jaundiced at birth so we had to top up her breast feeds with a bottle so essentially we were combined feeding which made it easier for my husband to help out. When the jaundice cleared we kept one bottle feed for either last thing at night(weeknights) or middle of the night(weekends). Even though baby is still sleeps in our room we take her to what will eventually be her room when she is up during the night so as not to disturb the other person. It's handier anyway as we have the changing table and rocking chair in there. You do get more used to the disturbed nights though.

Pawwed Rig · 08-01-2014 5:33pm

Am hoping to take some time off around that time to give a dig out so hopefully when one of us is over tired the other can pick up the slack. Pumps will help with sharing the workload too. What I am reading would seem to say that routine is the goal and to try and feed every three hours day and night.

Really looking forward to it at this stage:)

January · 08-01-2014 5:44pm

I'm in more of the 'let them sleep if they are sleeping' up to a point... I wouldn't let them go more than 4 hours without a feed in the early days.

Tombo2001 · 09-01-2014 3:33pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Am hoping to take some time off around that time to give a dig out so hopefully when one of us is over tired the other can pick up the slack.Pumps will help with sharing the workload too. What I am reading would seem to say that routine is the goal and to try and feed every three hours day and night.

Really looking forward to it at this stage:)

Pawwed Rig, if you are referring to the time the baby is born, then I'd be replacing the word 'hoping to' with 'will be' doublequick.

In answer to your earlier question.

Simple answer is, every baby is different. The text book will probably say a baby under 3 months needs to be woken up for a feed at least every 3 or 4 hours......also, I believe you need to actually wake the baby up to feed them in the early weeks, but you need to confirm that sort of stuff with a midwife or public health nurse.........sounds good so far.......

However, in practice you could spend an hour feeding the baby, then they puke it all up, then they are over tired and wont feed again and start wailing.....

You play it by ear, in other words.

Have fun :-)

Tombo2001 · 09-01-2014 3:38pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Am hoping to take some time off around that time to give a dig out so hopefully when one of us is over tired the other can pick up the slack. Pumps will help with sharing the workload too. What I am reading would seem to say that routine is the goal and to try and feed every three hours day and night.

Really looking forward to it at this stage:)

With three kids, that three hour cycle was something we could never achieve.......would be interested to know if anyone else has thoughts on that.

I actually think it puts a lot of pressure on new parents, because they think they should be doing this three hour cycle, and its taking two hours just to feed the kid.....they think they are doing it all wrong.....

youcancallmeal · 09-01-2014 5:06pm

My wife is due in March. I am planning on taking 2 weeks off. I was thinking though maybe take 1 full week and then 2 weeks of half days if my work will let me? Like not go into work until after lunch at 2 pm?? I'm only 15 mins away from work so commute is grand.

nikpmup · 09-01-2014 8:12pm

youcancallmeal wrote: »

My wife is due in March. I am planning on taking 2 weeks off. I was thinking though maybe take 1 full week and then 2 weeks of half days if my work will let me? Like not go into work until after lunch at 2 pm?? I'm only 15 mins away from work so commute is grand.

Take as much time off as you can! She'll be still all over the place after a week; the longer you can be at home with her the better. Plus, you'll not be getting much sleep either so going back to work will be hard.

stantheman8 · 09-01-2014 9:11pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I am curious (and probably a bit naive) about the sleep deprivation part. How often does the baby wake up at night. Does taking feeding in turns not mean that you both get at least a minimum amount of unbroken sleep?

Sorry Pawwed - should have been more specific (will blame sleep deprivation!). Myself and OH take alternate nights with the little one. She'll generally feed around 10pm, then 2 and again around 6. The problem is that it takes her about an hour to 90 mins to drink the bottle and another 30-45 mins to settle ...by which time it's almost time for the next feed = less than an hours sleep between feeds :-(

youcancallmeal · 09-01-2014 9:15pm

nikpmup wrote: »

Take as much time off as you can! She'll be still all over the place after a week; the longer you can be at home with her the better. Plus, you'll not be getting much sleep either so going back to work will be hard.

I can only take 2 weeks as we are taking a 2 week sun holiday during the summer with my wife's family. I could take 3 but that would mean literally no more holidays until the Jan 2015

Now that I've mentioned it has anyone gone on holidays with a few month old baby in a hot environment? My brother did it with his daughter when she was a few months old and said it was grand as she slept most of time and was quite manageable. He did the same holiday the following year and said it was a bit of nightmare as she was walking everywhere and had to be watched constantly!

youcancallmeal · 09-01-2014 9:16pm

stantheman8 wrote: »

Sorry Pawwed - should have been more specific (will blame sleep deprivation!). Myself and OH take alternate nights with the little one. She'll generally feed around 10pm, then 2 and again around 6. The problem is that it takes her about an hour to 90 mins to drink the bottle and another 30-45 mins to settle ...by which time it's almost time for the next feed = less than an hours sleep between feeds :-(

Probably a stupid question but would you do anything like watch telly to keep yourself occupied when you're doing the late night feeds?

fasttalkerchat · 09-01-2014 10:46pm

stantheman8 wrote: »

Sorry Pawwed - should have been more specific (will blame sleep deprivation!). Myself and OH take alternate nights with the little one. She'll generally feed around 10pm, then 2 and again around 6. The problem is that it takes her about an hour to 90 mins to drink the bottle and another 30-45 mins to settle ...by which time it's almost time for the next feed = less than an hours sleep between feeds :-(

We were told to stop the feed after 30 mins so the baby won't get used to taking it slow.

SuperS54 · 10-01-2014 7:34am

Thanks Pawned Rig, looking forward to next weeks scan and some good news. Wife is suffering from fairly bad morning sickness and headaches, refuses all medication, so I am suffering as well!

stantheman8 · 10-01-2014 4:25pm

youcancallmeal wrote: »

Probably a stupid question but would you do anything like watch telly to keep yourself occupied when you're doing the late night feeds?

We try to keep stimulation, noise, etc to a minimum at night to help little one distinguish night from day, so no telly :-(

One thing I would change about my prep (& a tip I would give to expectant Dads) would be to concentrate more on my fitness, reasoning being more fit = require less sleep, better able to handle stress etc.

Pawwed Rig · 10-01-2014 4:36pm

stantheman8 wrote: »

We try to keep stimulation, noise, etc to a minimum at night to help little one distinguish night from day, so no telly :-(

Been reading a few ideas on this such as avoiding eye contact at night and not really engaging the child other than for feeding. Also keep the light and noise down.

I'd say someone who has kids already is reading this thread and thinking how hopelessly naive we are:D

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Pawwed Rig, if you are referring to the time the baby is born, then I'd be replacing the word 'hoping to' with 'will be' doublequick.

Unfortunately this is unlikely as our maternity laws do not take much notice of men:(

January · 10-01-2014 7:28pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Been reading a few ideas on this such as avoiding eye contact at night and not really engaging the child other than for feeding. Also keep the light and noise down.

I'd say someone who has kids already is reading this thread and thinking how hopelessly naive we are:D

Unfortunately this is unlikely as our maternity laws do not take much notice of men:(

Not at all, we got rid of the TV from our bedroom when we had the first... My partner couldn't sleep without the sound of the TV before that so it was a learning curve for him but we haven't managed to install a new one yet (and good thing because I'm pregnant again). It just helped to have no distractions in the room and our kids fall asleep with no problems now. Although I did have to sleep train the youngest!

Marty McFly · 21-01-2014 6:21pm

Hi everyone

, new to here but the girlfriend is due August 3rd going in for the first scan on Thursday in the Coombe can't wait.

But its going to be a hectic few months first baby, moving in together looking at Naas and were together about 7 months don't do things by half :pac: a lot to sort and organise.

Was looking at them baby starter kits they do in baby elegance for 999 euro are they worth it or a bit of a rip? Would be handy getting everything in one go.

Chattastrophe! · 21-01-2014 6:28pm

Marty McFly wrote: »

Hi everyone , new to here but the girlfriend is due August 3rd going in for the first scan on Thursday in the Coombe can't wait.

But its going to be a hectic few months first baby, moving in together looking at Naas and were together about 7 months don't do things by half :pac: a lot to sort and organise.

Was looking at them baby starter kits they do in baby elegance for 999 euro are they worth it or a bit of a rip? Would be handy getting everything in one go.

There's a good thread on those from a couple of months back - would post link but I'm on my phone - but basically I'd say no, lovely idea in theory, but a false economy!

uck51js9zml2yt · 21-01-2014 8:04pm

seems overpriced .try kiddicare.com in the UK.Ships here.

DUBACC · 21-01-2014 10:06pm

Hope all you new dads are getting on well - our little one is 2 and half now - no idea where that time went. Enjoy every moment and dont worry, the sleep comes back!! :-)

We have lost two pregnancies in the last few months so are still hoping for number two. Heartbreaking at the moment but reading the posts above about sleep deprivation one year after miscarriages gives me hope so thanks for sharing.

lang · 21-01-2014 10:09pm

Marty McFly wrote: »

Hi everyone , new to here but the girlfriend is due August 3rd going in for the first scan on Thursday in the Coombe can't wait.

But its going to be a hectic few months first baby, moving in together looking at Naas and were together about 7 months don't do things by half :pac: a lot to sort and organise.

Was looking at them baby starter kits they do in baby elegance for 999 euro are they worth it or a bit of a rip? Would be handy getting everything in one go.

Congrats!! Our first was born 11th August last year so almost a year in the difference. The things we use on a regular basis (so far) are:

Naty (Natural) Nappies
Vests and Baby-grows
Bibs (lots of them!!)
Baby Bath
A high Chair (one of those that straps to a kitchen chair)
Teething Rings
A baby elegance travel system (we substituted a Maxi-cosi for the included car seat)
Isofix for the car
Changing mat
Cot
Bottles
Blankets
Water wipes
Muslin Squares (endless supply)

Think that's the short list

We used the pram as her bed during her daytime naps until recently (she became too big for it :P) and so only in last 2 weeks moved her to the cot. We put in a new pram base for it. You'll find that people will buy you a lot of stuff for the baby. Don't be afraid to ask friends and family to get you specific things if they want to get you stuff.

We had hoped to do solely breast feeding for our daughter but that didn't work out as planned so have been combination feeding. Might be worth thinking about getting a set of small 4oz bottles and some ready-made formula as a just in case. I know how head-wrecking and panicy it can be having to sort out bottles in the first few days when you haven't been prepared for it.

I'd be reluctant to buy that much stuff in the stater kit before your baby comes along. As I said friends and family will get you bits and bobs and you can pick up what you need when you need it.

We used the kitchen sink to bath ours for the first 3 months and then bought a baby bath when she got too big for the sink.

Enjoy the prep for Fatherhood. It'll fly by!!! Keep in touch.

lang · 21-01-2014 10:21pm

Think we have been very lucky with our little one so far. Has generally slept well from the beginning. I am loving every sing minute of fatherhood and it is much more than I ever expected. It is such an amazing feeling to know that you would do anything in your power for this little bundle of joy. The unconditional love that is felt is indescribable. There is nothing nicer than the sound of uncontrollable laughter from my daughter. After the hardest day in work (average of 30 hours away from her each shift in work) I long for THAT smile and THAT giggle. My heart goes to complete mush. One look from her and all my woes from work are left behind.

My uncle told me the day she was born that a daughter will have her dad wrapped around her little finger - how right he was!!

@DUBACC Hope you and your wife/partner get through this time and come out the other side stronger.

DUBACC · 21-01-2014 10:29pm

lang wrote: »

Think we have been very lucky with our little one so far. Has generally slept well from the beginning. I am loving every sing minute of fatherhood and it is much more than I ever expected. It is such an amazing feeling to know that you would do anything in your power for this little bundle of joy. The unconditional love that is felt is indescribable. There is nothing nicer than the sound of uncontrollable laughter from my daughter. After the hardest day in work (average of 30 hours away from her each shift in work) I long for THAT smile and THAT giggle. My heart goes to complete mush. One look from her and all my woes from work are left behind.

My uncle told me the day she was born that a daughter will have her dad wrapped around her little finger - how right he was!!

@DUBACC Hope you and your wife/partner get through this time and come out the other side stronger.

Thanks Lang - appreciate it! And you are spot on about the daughter having their dad wrapped around their finger. My little one is only 2 but has me turned into the worlds biggest softy!! Love it though!

Baby01032012 · 21-01-2014 10:40pm

Just some ransoms thoughts on my own situation...

Our little fella is nearly 23 months now...happy healthy but a handful..not great with words yet and has tantrums when he can't explain or when he's tired. Sleeping through night was always a problem..some nights he sleeps through some he's up 3 or 4 times.
He's become bit of a handful for my wife now that she's 3 weeks away from giving birth to our second child. Tought on her in her condition as she's at home with him all day..some times it gets too much for her. So that's been a worry recently. Put him into crèche last week half days to take the pressure off.
We're also due to move house in next few weeks. I'm not even thinking of that now. It's hard to take on board that there will be another baby to take care of in a few weeks and life and everything will change all over again.

tempnam · 22-01-2014 9:57am

Marty McFly wrote: »

Hi everyone , new to here but the girlfriend is due August 3rd going in for the first scan on Thursday in the Coombe can't wait.

But its going to be a hectic few months first baby, moving in together looking at Naas and were together about 7 months don't do things by half :pac: a lot to sort and organise.

Was looking at them baby starter kits they do in baby elegance for 999 euro are they worth it or a bit of a rip? Would be handy getting everything in one go.

As others have said you will get lots of gifts from friends and family, just make sure what ever you buy you keep receipts in case you get a gift of the same thing.

lang wrote: »

Congrats!! Our first was born 11th August last year so almost a year in the difference. The things we use on a regular basis (so far) are:

Naty (Natural) Nappies
Vests and Baby-grows
Bibs (lots of them!!)
Baby Bath
A high Chair (one of those that straps to a kitchen chair)
Teething Rings
A baby elegance travel system (we substituted a Maxi-cosi for the included car seat)
Isofix for the car
Changing mat
Cot
Bottles
Blankets
Water wipes
Muslin Squares (endless supply)

Think that's the short list

We just left ours naked and put a load of newspaper on the floor - no need for half that stuff then!

No, seriously - I definitely underestimated the amount of stuff you need for a baby. Ours is 6 months now.... the main things you need are:

1. lots & lots of baby wipes & nappies
2. lots of vests & baby grows

Everything else you can 'survive' without if it comes to it.....

lang wrote: »

We had hoped to do solely breast feeding for our daughter but that didn't work out as planned so have been combination feeding. Might be worth thinking about getting a set of small 4oz bottles and some ready-made formula as a just in case. I know how head-wrecking and panicy it can be having to sort out bottles in the first few days when you haven't been prepared for it.

I agree.... before ours came along we both just assumed that mammy would breastfeed - simple!

The reality was different. It's exhausting, emotionally draining and in some cases very difficult. We hadn't even bought bottles or formula. I remember the first day we came home from the hospital, I was wandering around Tesco at 11.30pm like a zombie, wondering which formula to buy!

Anyway, things worked out in the end and we only give her a bottle once in a blue moon. Mammy & baby both took to breastfeeding after a long & hard first couple of weeks.

lang wrote: »

We used the kitchen sink to bath ours for the first 3 months and then bought a baby bath when she got too big for the sink.

We did that too!

- and she absolutely loved it! Plus, it's hilarious seeing her sitting in the sink - have some great pictures to embarrass her with when she's older! She's too big for the sink now so we use the bath. She loves that too. even managed to throw herself face first into the water the other night, I grabbed her and she was coughing/choking on the water.... I was in a panic but she was laughing away to herself thinking it was some sort of game!

lang wrote: »

I am loving every sing minute of fatherhood and it is much more than I ever expected. It is such an amazing feeling to know that you would do anything in your power for this little bundle of joy. The unconditional love that is felt is indescribable. There is nothing nicer than the sound of uncontrollable laughter from my daughter. After the hardest day in work (average of 30 hours away from her each shift in work) I long for THAT smile and THAT giggle. My heart goes to complete mush. One look from her and all my woes from work are left behind.

My uncle told me the day she was born that a daughter will have her dad wrapped around her little finger - how right he was!!

@DUBACC Hope you and your wife/partner get through this time and come out the other side stronger.

You could be speaking for me with what you've said, from the longing to get home from work and see her to her having you wrapped around your finger! It's like falling in love - god, I'm getting far too emotional here!

norrie rugger · 23-01-2014 11:17am

That is all, for now

The Fathers Thread

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